The Good Soldier
by Mad Hatter - J
Summary: A disillusioned soldier strikes a deal with Victor Strand, securing her ticket to freedom and a way out of the apocalyptic mess the world has become. She befriends quarantined junkie, Nick, as together they are roped into Strand's plan to escape.
1. Chapter 1 - The Soldier

**Chapter One - The Soldier**

Nick stared into the back of the soldier's head, so focused he wondered if she could feel it burning into her. She turned to look around and met his gaze, staring back for a moment before her attention was drawn to an approaching officer. Nick watched the exchange between the military personnel with interest. Of all the soldiers who stood guard throughout the day, he was certain that this one didn't want to be here. As the officer finished giving his orders and turned to leave, Nick watched her face drop from attentive obedience, to disapproval.

"Here."

He had drifted off into a withdrawal-induced stupor, and even now found it difficult to process her sudden change in proximity. He looked blankly at the bottle of water she was holding out to him.

"Drink it."

"What?"

"You need to keep your fluids up."

Slowly, he pushed himself into a sitting position and accepted the offer, eyeing her suspiciously as he drank. She seemed to find something amusing about this.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, taking in the bruises that covered his face.

He put down the bottle, reached for the bucket, and vomited up what little liquid he had managed to get down.

"That good, huh?"

She glanced over at the cells other occupant, a meaningful exchange that even in his daze, Nick did not fail to notice. He looked over at his latest acquaintance, Victor Strand. Strand returned the soldier's gaze in a not entirely pleasant manner.

"They'll be doing checks any moment now. Get yourself cleaned up, try to move around a little if you can. Maybe throw up a little less."

"Thanks for the advice," he replied sarcastically, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He pulled himself to his feet, grimacing as he was hit by another wave of nausea and pain. "Hey, wait. Why are you looking out for me?"

She glanced at Strand, then replied, "It's the right thing to do, right?"

The resentment in her voice made Nick question her belief in the statement.

"I'd do as she says," Strand suggested, "Because you better hope they don't take you away."

Nick frowned and turned back to the soldier, deep in thought.

"What happens to the people they take away?"

She stared at him, but gave no reply.

"Hey, what's your name, anyway?" he asked as she turned back to her post.

She considered him for a moment. "Sergeant Attebury. Why does it matter?"

"No, I know that, I meant like your real name." He paused, attempting to organize his drug-deprived thoughts before correcting himself, "Your, uh, first name."

She paused, as if trying to work out the purpose of his question.

"Lumen," she finally replied.

"Lumen…" He tested the name on his tongue and found something satisfying about it. "Why do you care, anyway? What happens to me?"

"Because I know what happens to the ones they take away, okay, kid? Here's another suggestion: don't ask so many questions. Or it'll get you one of these."

She pointed to the fading, purple bruise around her eye, which he had been politely ignoring since their first interaction.

"I think you've gotten the wrong idea," Strand said later, as Lumen disappeared into the makeshift office behind the pens. Nick craned his neck to see where she had gone, fingers clawed against the metal chain-link fence that caged them.

"What do you mean?" he asked, rattling the metal restlessly.

"Would you stop that? I mean that she isn't showing favoritism. She's been this way with all of them."

Nick frowned, but his curiosity in her whereabouts did not falter. "So what does that mean?"

"That she may be useful. People with consciences are easily persuaded. So long as you can convince them that they're doing the right thing. Or the wrong thing."

Nick turned to look at him, frowning, then heard the office door slam closed.

Several soldiers, Lumen included, approached their pen carrying the point-and-shoot thermometers they'd been using to determine each prisoner's status. Lumen stood to the back of the group, rifle in hand, carefully monitoring the results as she had dozens of times before. Seeing the group of armed men, Nick backed away, taking a seat in the corner to appear inconspicuous.

"You, stand by the fence," said the one who appeared to be in charge; the man who had given orders to Lumen earlier that night.

Strand stood with an air of dignity, straightening his suit jacket, and approached the fence, waiting for the indicative beep to sound his fate.

"This one's fine", the soldier announced.

The officer pointed to Nick, who had sat with his back to them, overcome with another wave of nausea. Lumen glanced over the man's shoulder at the readout on the thermometer. Strand watched disappointment cross her face.

"101.1. Get him up."

Nick jumped as they unlocked the gate and was on his feet the second he realized what they were doing, fighting off the men as they made and attempt to grab him. From her position next to her superior, Strand could see Lumen experiencing an internal dilemma. Her grip tightened on her rifle as she watched the soldiers beat Nick to the ground as he continued to resist.

"The boy's not sick, Melvin."

"Anyone with a fever goes downstairs."

Strand approached the fence, gripping the metal as Nick had earlier.

Lumen glanced at the two men, then back at Nick, who looked to her for help.

"I'm not sick, tell them. I'm not sick!"

"Sir, he's just going through withdrawal. It's not going to kill him. He's not a risk"

"You know the rules, Attebury," the Lieutenant replied, looking at her with suspicion. "We gonna have another problem? You wanna make this strike two?"

He caught the corner of her mouth twitch as she narrowed her eyes. She remembered strike one all too clearly.

"You found our last transaction to your liking?" Strand said to the lieutenant, a touch of urgency to his voice, managing to lure his gaze from Lumen. She noticed for the first time, the gold watch on her C.O.'s wrist. She'd seen this sort of bribery many times now since the infection had broken out; officers allowing the infected rich through the quarantine borders for a large payoff, leaving the healthy lower-class to their cruel captivity. Her grip on the gun tightened once more.

"A deal's a deal," the officer told Strand, with a smirk, "No refunds."

"I realize that. What I'm suggesting is an additional transaction."

He flashed a diamond-studded cufflink, catching the man's attention immediately.

"Leave the boy. I'll watch him."

The lieutenant considered the offer.

"Where's the other one?"

"Somewhere in Vegas, I believe. Very unfortunate-"

"Yeah, see, I want them both, or no deal."

Strand exchanged the briefest of glances with Lumen. She met his gaze momentarily before turning back to Nick, who had already been dragged halfway down the corridor. Strand nodded and removed both cufflinks, dropping them into the hands of his grinning customer.

"If he turns, it's your ass," he said, dropping his new possessions into his shirt pocket.

"Think he'll stop there?"

Lieutenant Melvin chuckled as he signaled his men to return the prisoner to his pen, securing the gate behind them. Strand watched them move off, Lumen at the rear, this time failing to mask her disgust over the behavior of her commanding officer.

 _It won't be long_ , Strand thought, watching her knuckles turn white as she kept her gaze trained forward. He turned back to Nick, who was still shaking from the ordeal.

"Don't hold it against her. There's nothing she could have done, short of getting on her knees. She doesn't strike me as the type."

A commotion sounded from one of the furthermost pens. Nick managed to crawl over to the fence, peeking through from beside Strand, who took in the scene without emotion. The soldiers dragged a man, kicking and screaming, out into the walkway, beating him into submission. Even from a distance, Nick could make out the additional cries of a woman and child; the man's family.

"Please! Please! No! Please!"

The woman's appeals went unheard, as the limp, bleeding body of her husband was dragged away towards the back room, where so many had gone before him.

Nick watched as Lumen locked the pen behind them, staring down into the face of the little girl she had just denied a father. For a moment he thought he caught something flicker across her features, then her expression hardened and she followed the others through the heavy double-doors.

* * *

"How long have you been doing this for?" Nick asked the following evening, as Lumen returned to her usual position by his pen.

"Denying humans their basic rights? Just over ten years, now."

"What made you want to join? Did your parents serve?"

"No. They weren't very thrilled about it, really. I joined to help people. Fix things. Help create world peace. That sort of naïve bullshit only a teenager can believe. If I knew this was the sort of shit I'd eventually be doing…"

She kept her gaze trained forward, occasionally glancing around to ensure no other soldiers were within earshot. Whenever they walked past, she would stop, exchanging the briefest of nods with them before they carried on their way. There was a strict 'No fraternization rule' between prisoners and soldiers. She had never much cared for it.

"What happens to the people you take away?"

His voice had gone soft, and she could hear subtle fear to it. She considered her reply, but couldn't think of a way to phrase it that wasn't upsetting.

"I was in the hospital not long ago, before all this, when things were just starting," Nick said, "And there was this old guy in the bed across from me. He started convulsing, and they barely even tried to save him. They were in such a hurry to get him downstairs. What's downstairs? The morgue, right?"

"In a hospital? Usually."

"Why were they in such a hurry?"

She turned to look at him, battling with how much to tell him.

"You've never seen one turn?"

He shook his head, curious. "No."

"Usually it's the bites that do it, or the resulting infection, I should say. Can take anywhere from a couple of hours, to a few days. It's better when it's quick. But I've seen people come back from gunshot wounds. I don't think it matters how you die."

"What is it?"

"I've heard a few different theories."

"Like what?"

The squeal of the gate brought their conversation to a halt. Strand, who had been listening in, watched as the soldiers wheeled in carts of food. Since the military zones were following strict rationing protocols, the best they could expect to receive was watered down soup with the occasional chunk of potato, and what he supposed passed as bread. The bread looked as though whoever had made it was not familiar with its usual color and consistency, settling for the lumpy, grey ball that he had learned to make do with. He was a very strong believer in the 'beggars can't be choosers' adage, but found it laughable that this was the way the military maintained a clear conscience; providing their prisoners with the barest of minimums, despite knowing where most of them would eventually end up.

Lumen exchanged a few words with one of the privates pushing the carts, and he nodded as she shouldered her weapon, allowing her to take over. The soldier chuckled at something she said and she smiled at how easy it had been to persuade him, watching him walk away before moving off with the food. She passed the first few trays through to the waiting prisoners, dodging as one of them decided to throw their dinner back at her. The soup was served cold for this very reason, but the simple act of aggression drew a couple of guards to the pen.

"It's alright," she assured them, looking to the woman, who scowled. Beneath the scowl she could see the fear and uncertainty that had driven the attack.

"You can't keep us locked up like this, you evil bitch. Let us out! We have rights!"

Lumen stared at her, a bemused smile on her face.

"The right to remain silent. That's a good one. Maybe try that."

"Fuck you! We're dying in here!"

"One missed meal isn't going to kill you. And it wouldn't be missed if you hadn't just thrown it at me."

The prisoner rattled the fence, emitting a frustrated growl. The young soldiers stepped forward, but Lumen held up a hand to halt them. They stared at their sergeant, awaiting orders.

"It's alright. Leave her be. Please, just eat it next time. We're doing the best we can for all of you in here. Don't make it any worse for yourself."

The prisoner just stared at her, unsure how to take this. She seemed surprised that her aggression was not met with the same from her captors, as she had witnessed so many times before. Lumen waited for the soldiers to turn back to their positions, before crouching down to retrieve the bread roll that had managed to find its way under the cart.

Strand watched from the fence as she paused, looked around, then stood up again, placing the roll back on the cart. When she finally reached his pen, he saw her swap his roll with the contaminated one. She gave him a meaningful look as she passed it through and he accepted, curious.

"Nick, come get something to eat."

Nick stared at her, looking a little paler than usual.

"Come on. At least this'll look the same coming up as it does going down."

Grimacing, he pushed himself to his feet and took the tray, sniffing the soup and looking to her for confirmation that it was indeed edible.

"What do they give you guys to eat?" he asked, settling back down on his makeshift bed.

"Lobster and steak, usually," she joked.

Strand took a seat, staring at the dust-speckled bread, noting the small hole in its side. Tearing it in half, he saw a glint of silver.

"Enjoy," she told them, pushing the cart back towards the awaiting soldiers.

Nick looked over at Strand as he took a bite of his own lumpy grey meal, and saw him pocket something small.

"What's that?" he asked through his mouthful.

"That would be Sergeant Attebury's ticket to freedom."

Nick frowned and swallowed. "What do you mean?"

"This is the first step to a plan I have had in the works for a while now, Nick. Ending up in here was admittedly not part of the original plan, but I've always found myself quite easily able to adapt. Lumen has now found herself included in said plan, as have you."

"Me? Why? Do you need an addict?" He gave a small, self-deprecating smile as he spooned through his soup, not feeling particularly hungry after that first bite.

"Don't sell yourself short, Nicholas. As an addict, you're familiar with necessity. That means you have a talent for acquiring things. Doubtless you will prove quite useful. As for Lumen- "

"You need a body guard?" he guessed.

"Not quite. Though her combat training, I'm sure, will also be beneficial for us. I've been watching her since I arrived. She's not like the others I've seen pass through. She doesn't get anything from this. The others? It's a power game. You saw that lieutenant, how easy he was to bribe. She isn't. I know. I've tried."

He stirred his soup before spooning up a mouthful.

"So what does that mean?"

"She's right. You do ask a lot of questions. It means she can't be bought. People like that are hard to come by these days. Get them on your side and you'll have the kind of loyalty that will keep you alive in times like these. Also, she's dangerous. Her superiors don't seem to notice, but she loses more and more faith in them as each day passes. But she's not stupid. She's not about to compromise herself. This isn't what she signed on for. She said so herself, right?"

"Yeah. But, I mean, I don't think she's about to go postal on her superior officers."

"I never said she was crazy, Nick. Just dangerous. There's a difference. And it's not always a bad thing."

Nick stared at him, attempting to get through another mouthful of bread, his soup having lost its appeal after Lumen's comment. It was hard enough as it was to keep anything down with the stink of piss and vomit all around them,

"So when does this plan of yours go into effect?"

"When the time is right. Not a second sooner."

Feeling his stomach lurch, Nick placed his roll back down on the tray, dropping his head as he began to feel the familiar wave of sickness. When it finally passed, he got to his feet and paced up and down the length of the pen, taking in the fluorescent lighting above, the cold, grey steel that surrounded them and the prisoners in the cage opposite. A disheveled woman stared back at him, clutching a small, sickly child. He offered her a sympathetic nod, but she turned away. Moving to the gate, he craned his neck to find their soldier, and spotted her a little further down the corridor, standing in front of the same pen they had removed the man from the night before. She was gazing in at the little girl he had left behind, ignoring the girl's mother, who was screaming an endless stream of questions about her husband's whereabouts.

Lumen didn't flinch, but continued to stare blankly at the child. When she finally turned away, rifle in hand, her jaw tense, Nick caught a sense of deep loathing in her. As much as he wanted to believe he would act differently if he were in her position, that he would refuse any orders that would result in the death of innocent people, he also wondered if that were true. He had always been selfish, he could admit that – it was a classic trait of an addict. So long as you were getting your fix, why worry about your loved ones having sleepless nights as they waited on that dreaded phone call from the morgue. No. He didn't think he would be able to stick his neck out for strangers, no matter how drastic the situation.

Lumen walked towards him, eyes on the ground, deep in thought. He almost didn't want to break her from it, wondering what was going on behind those sharp eyes. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. Every time he managed to rope her into another conversation, he wanted to ask about the sort of things she'd witnessed, what it was like on the frontline during all of this, but deep down he didn't know if he could handle the answer.

"Not hungry?" she asked, nodding to his abandoned dinner.

"Not really. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she replied, giving one of the least convincing smiles he had ever seen. "How are you feeling?"

"Um, alright I guess." He gazed at her, concerned, and looked to Strand, who was too busy placing his bowl neatly on his tray to notice anything.

"You know, I never asked how you got those bruises."

He looked back, forgetting he even had any. His hand went to his face as he recalled the circumstances in which he had received them.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd have said it was one of ours. The fresh ones, anyway. But I noticed them when they brought you in."

"It was…nothing."

"You just woke up like that, huh?"

He chuckled awkwardly.

"It's…I haven't been a very good son, I guess."

"Your father hit you?" she frowned, as he sat back down.

"No. He passed away a few years ago."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Nah, it's okay." He dropped his gaze, hands wrapped around his legs, drawing his knees up to his chest.

"So it was your mother?"

"She had her reasons."

"They always do."

He looked up, just able to make out her own shiner from beneath her long, dirty blonde fringe.

"How'd you get yours?"

Her mouth quirked up in the corner. "Disobeying orders."

"No kidding."

She smiled at him, realizing that he had become familiar with that aspect of her character.

"Do I want to know what the orders were?"

"Probably not. Technically they're classified, anyway."

"Technically?"

She cocked an eyebrow then turned to face forward once more.

"So what were you doing in the hospital?"

"I got hit by a car."

"Were you high at the time?"

"Um, sort of. I mean, most of it was out of my system by then. I was just…running."

"From what? Life? Yourself? Adult responsibilities?"

"A church."

"Shit, Nick, I've been doing that my whole life."

"No, it was more… what was in the church."

"Which was?"

"A lot of death."

She turned again to look at him, catching his distant expression, then glanced over at Strand who was now listening in. He didn't like to interject himself into the conversations, instead quietly absorbing the important bits of information for later use.

"That's a part of life now. Well, it always has been. But now it's all out in the open. Civilians freaking out because what they were fine with behind closed doors is now being shoved under their noses. Can't ignore it when it's literally on your doorstep."

"Death is a hard concept for most people to accept," Strand commented, "Everyone likes to think that they're invincible. Don't want to face the fact that all that time they've wasted can't be bought back."

Nick stared off into space, contemplating how much of his own life had been spent at the end of a needle.

"That's something," Lumen agreed, "Every dying person I've stood by always says the same thing. 'I wish I'd done this, I wish I hadn't done that'. Well, that and the classic 'Tell my mom I love her'. It's usually the regrets though."

"And what do you regret, Lumen?" Strand asked curiously, a touch of humor to his voice.

"Starting this conversation," she retorted, and he chuckled.

"What about your family?" Nick asked, coming out of his trance.

"What about them?"

"Where are they?"

"My brother died when I was younger. My parents…they were on the list of deceased from the first wave."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Really. So is it just you and your mom?"

"I've got a sister, too. Alicia. I kind of think she hates me."

"Siblings have a funny way of showing they care."

"What happened to your brother?"

"Car accident."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Shitty way to go."

"How old were you?"

"About your age."

"Were you close?"

Lumen stared at the wall behind the opposite pen.

"I didn't get to see much of him growing up. He was always disappearing."

"I'm sure my sister could relate."

She made a non-committed sound of acknowledgement.

"What about that lady you came in with? Salazar? Bit of a stretch from Clark. Not related I'm assuming."

"Oh. No. Kind of a long story."

"Did you have somewhere to be?" she asked.

He smiled, pulling at the loose thread on his blanket.

"My mum's boyfriend turned up with some strays. I guess his family were the strays. The Salazar's took them in during the riots."

"His family?"

"Well, he's divorced. Moved in with us not long ago. He went to get his son. And his ex-wife, I guess. Liza. You might have met her. She's helping out in here somewhere."

"The nurse. Yeah, I remember her coming in with you guys."

"They all turned up at our place. Not long after that, you guys showed."

She glanced at him over her shoulder and he realized she didn't like being lumped into that group.

"Three families under one roof. How did that go for you?"

"I don't know. Didn't pay much attention. I was too busy looking for my next high."

He watched her cock her head, a quick motion of acceptance. She could admire his honesty at least.

"I get along with Chris, though. He's alright."

"That your mom's boyfriend?"

"Nah, step-brother. Travis is okay, though."

"That's something."

"He's good for mum, I think. She needs that."

"What were you saying about a 'first wave'?" Strand interrupted, as if they had sidestepped the more important thing.

"The first wave was the very initial breakouts. In most cities it started with the homeless and the junkies." She glanced briefly at Nick, but he seemed unfazed by the term. "Those that died from exposure or overdose. Stories started to come out about people walking around in a daze, erupting into unprovoked violence. The first wave was supposed to be controlled by the police and SWAT."

"What wave are we in now?" Nick asked.

"Second. That's where we step in. Do what the police and SWAT couldn't. Get things under control."

"And?" asked Strand, "Are they?"

She cocked her head again, considering.

"Depends on your definition of-"

Gunfire erupted from outside and they froze, listening. The lights flickered for a moment and went out.

"What's that?" Nick asked.

Checking her weapon and flicking off the safety, Lumen glanced at Strand and replied, "That would be the third wave. Wait here. I'll be back for you both."

She disappeared through the doors, other soldiers following in hot pursuit, armed and ready to fight.

Strand stood and calmly straightened his tie, then his cuffs.

"What do we do?"

"Do as the good lady said. We wait. But not too long. We can't rely on her making it back here. I have what I need from her."

Nick frowned. The thought of her not making it back hadn't even crossed his mind. Strand was looking confused, patting his pockets, searching. He looked to Nick and saw him holding out the key with a crooked smile.

"You continue to surprise me, Nicholas."

He took it from him and unlocked the gate.


	2. Chapter 2 - Escape

**Chapter Two - Escape**

Lumen took one look at the approaching horde, and turned back. It wasn't even worth the waste of ammunition. That wouldn't make the situation any less dire, and she'd be a few bullets fewer. The infected flooded through the front gate, knocking over watchtowers and surrounding vehicles. The screams of men being eaten alive sounded across the grounds. Sirens blasted, signaling multiple breaches. Helicopters began to take flight, light on passengers. She cursed.

"Sergeant, where are you going?" asked one of her men, as she passed him.

"Get out of here, Andrews."

He stared after her, internally debated the idea, let off a couple more shots, then turned and fled.

* * *

"That was fast," Strand commented, as their soldier returned.

She threw him a dark look.

"We need to move. Now."

Concerned by her sudden urgency, they matched her brisk pace down the corridor. Nick looked around at the remaining prisoners.

"What about them? Are we going to let them out?"

"No," Strand replied.

"Why not?"

"Because helping them could hurt us. They have no value."

"Really? Lumen?"

She glanced back at him.

"What do you think these people would do if they got their hands on one of the people who have spent the last few weeks keeping them locked up?"

He looked around at the desperate, pleading faces.

"Save yourself, Nick," Strand told him, as the young idealist faced forward, "Let all the others fall behind."

"What's the situation?" Strand asked Lumen, as they reached the double doors.

"The facility is compromised. Hundreds of infected." She held the door open for them, expression troubled.

"What?" he pressed.

"I'm just thinking…It's probably the ones they locked in the stadium."

"They locked them in?" Nick asked, "Jesus..."

"Have they made it past the perimeter?" Strand began.

"Attebury! What are you doing? You're needed on the frontline!"

They froze, spotting Lieutenant Melvin approaching from their right. Lumen gestured for Nick and Strand to keep going, and though Strand made to do just that, Nick caught him by the sleeve, watching as the C.O. confronted her, his back to them. Catching her gaze, Lieutenant Melvin turned his head and spotted them.

"What are those prisoners doing out of their pen, Sergeant?"

She saw his hand go to his sidearm as he put the situation together, but she was much faster.

Nick's ears rang as the gunshot sounded, warm blood spraying his face. He wiped at it, eyes wide as he processed what he had just witnessed. Staring at the slumped body of the commanding officer, Strand's theories about Lumen resounded in his mind. He watched her take her lieutenant's sidearm and pass it to Strand, before she paused and continued to search him, coming away with two small items.

"Yours I believe," she said, dropping the two cufflinks into his hand.

He nodded, caught off guard, and glanced down at the bleeding body as he placed them in his inner jacket pocket. Still bent over the corpse, Lumen grabbed the dead man's wrist and undid the gleaming gold watch. She held it up to the owner her expression gruff.

"This way," she directed, striding past them.

Nick glanced at Strand, but he was busy wiping his face clean with a white handkerchief. Hearing Lumen swear, they both looked up, spotting a cluster of infected approaching from the other end of the hall.

"Is there another way out?" Nick asked as she returned to their side.

"There's always another way out," she replied, smiling darkly to herself. Nick glanced back at the body on the floor as they moved off in the direction the lieutenant had come from.

They reached another set of double doors. Lumen threw up her hand to halt them, then stuck her head through to check they were clear. She seemed to pause, listening.

"Well?" Strand asked, growing impatient.

She suddenly stepped back and shoved them flat against the wall. They listened as the footsteps of a squad of soldiers echoed down the staircase, passed them and gradually grew distant.

"Alright, let's go. We need to be quick. If we get caught, do as I say this time."

She directed the words at Nick, grateful though she was for the gesture, realizing the infected would have caused them to turn back anyway; but she didn't want them to witness what she may have to do if that situation arose again.

They approached the end of the corridor but found the next set of doors shut. Lumen tried the handle. Locked.

"Fuck."

They looked at her and she looked past them, towards the infected that had followed them.

"Fuck!"

As Nick and Strand turned to look back at the approaching danger, she threw a powerful kick at the door, rattling it on its hinges, but failing to make it budge.

"I don't have my access pass," she confessed, throwing Strand an apologetic look.

Lumen stepped in front of Nick and raised her gun, taking the first shot, hitting one of the infected clean through the forehead. Strand followed her example, his own shots not quite as practiced, grazing cheeks and penetrating shoulders.

"Mum!"

Lumen turned to Nick as he began to bang on the door, spotting a group of people led by a blonde woman approaching from the other side. A gunshot brought her back to the danger at hand at Strand continued to pick off the closest of the infected. The futility of the situation began to take hold. She glanced back at Nick, briefly at his mother, her expression apologetic.

"Just go," she heard Nick say gently. The least he could do for his mother now was make sure she didn't have to witness her son torn apart in front of her. Lumen felt a pang of guilt. She had gotten them into this. This was on her. She'd had one job – to get them out of here, to keep them safe while Strand directed them through his plan. As the infected loomed over them, she heard a familiar beep and relief flooded through her.

"Go! Go! Lumen, come on!"

Letting off a few final shots, Lumen fell back through the door, springing forward to slam it closed behind them. Taking advantage of the brief moment of respite, Lumen heard a safety click off close to her head.

"Papa!"

She turned to the stone-face man who held her at gunpoint.

"What the hell are you doing?" cried the other man in their party.

"No military," came the older man's reply, gaze fixed.

"Wait, no! She's with us, she helped us escape. Mum?" Nick said, looking for help.

The blonde woman stepped forward, staring the gunman down.

"She might know where to find your wife."

He hesitated for a moment, met her gaze, and then lowered the weapon.

"Use your words next time, old man," Lumen said, eyes sharp.

"Lumen," Strand warned, sensing his best current asset stepping over the line.

"Griselda?" another woman interjected. She looked familiar, and it took Lumen a moment to recognize her as the nurse who had come in with Nick and the old woman.

"You know where my mother is, Liza?" asked a younger woman, eyes filled with desperation.

Liza stared at her and her gaze dropped.

"You know where my wife is?" asked the older man.

"I'm sorry, Daniel."

"What happened?"

"She didn't make it. We had to amputate. The infection took her."

"No, no, no. Where is she? I want to see my mother."

"There's nothing left to see. I'm sorry, Ofelia," Liza explained gently, as Daniel pulled his crying daughter to his shoulder.

"How do we get out of here?"

Lumen, who had been staring of down the hall, rifle in hand, snapped out of her trance and looked at the man across from her. She wondered if this was the boyfriend, Travis.

"We can head towards the med bay. Was it still clear when you left?" she asked Liza.

"Yeah, Dr. Exner was still in there when I left. Evac was already leaving though."

"That's okay, we won't need evac."

"Where's Alicia?" Nick asked his mother.

"With Chris, outside the compound. They're waiting with the truck."

"You've got transport?" Lumen asked.

"One vehicle. Not enough for all of us."

"That's okay, we'll work that out when we get there. I might be able to hot wire something."

Nick threw her a look.

"Part of our training. Utilize what's around you," she explained to him, shattering his theory of her misspent youth. "Alright, this way."

She took point, followed closely by Nick and Strand.

"It's a mistake to trust her, Madison," Daniel said to Nick's mother, arm around his devastated daughter.

"Yeah, well, we'll make that call if we need to," she replied. "Right now we need to get out of here, get Chris and Alicia, and get to safety."

"And where might that be?" Strand asked, as Lumen held up a hand while she surveyed the next room for danger.

"East," Maddison replied confidently. "I've heard they're holding the line there."

"You heard wrong," he said, looking to Lumen, who had managed to maintain the same composed expression through the entire ordeal. She looked at Nick's mother and shook her head, confirming this.

"Wait here."

She disappeared through the doorway.

"So then what do you suggest?" Madison asked.

"West."

"What's west?"

"I have a home on the water. I have supplies. I'm prepared."

A crash sounded from the kitchen, followed by a number of clangs as pots and pans fell to the ground.

Lumen appeared again, splashed with blood.

"Clear?" Strand asked her.

"I don't think so. Stay sharp and stay quiet. We can make it through."

They slipped silently through the door, distancing themselves from the distinctive snarls of the infected. Nick spotted a couple of them trapped behind a counter, where Lumen had created a barrier with some food trolleys. Staring at them while he passed, he looked out for the soldier, spotting her over by the industrial-sized refrigerator. He watched her stick her head through the door, then pull back, slamming the door closed behind her.

"What's in there?"

"Nothing," she told him quickly, locking it up behind her, glancing at Strand, who was giving her a strange look. A scream drew their attention to the other side of the room, where Ofelia attempted to fight off one of the infected. Daniel pulled it away from her, but stumbled over a loose pot, collapsing backwards with it on top of him. Thinking fast, Lumen pulled a knife from the sheath on her belt and vaulted over the counter, almost knocking over Travis, who had run to their aid. He threw his hands up as she kicked the infected person onto their back, stabbing them through the head. Standing and placing her knife back on her belt, she looked at Daniel, offering him her hand. He ignored the gesture, pushing himself to his feet. Lumen glanced at Travis, who still seemed mildly surprised by her sudden intervention, and followed his gaze to where Madison stood watching them from the other end of the kitchen.

"Maddy!" he called out, as one of the infected snuck up behind her. She let out a yell as she felt it grab her, struggling to shake loose from its death grip. Nick appeared by her side, whacking the infected woman over the head with a frying pan. He continued to pummel them until they were finally still.

"You okay?" he asked his mom as she stared at him.

"Yeah."

They heard a further commotion nearby and saw Ofelia fighting off another one with Liza.

"I thought you said this way was safe," Travis said to Lumen, as he approached the door, shirt speckled with gore.

"I never said that. Come on. Med bay's just ahead," she announced, gesturing for them to follow. Travis exchanged a look with Madison, who still seemed unconcerned by the soldier's behavior.

They passed through another short corridor and reached a side door. Lumen adjusted the strap of her rifle and took out her sidearm, gripping the handle as she listened for any sounds of infected on the other side. "We can grab some supplies, then make for the ICU. There's a staircase that'll lead us outside."

Swinging the door open, her stomach twisted and she lowered her weapon. Dr. Exner sat in the middle of the makeshift hospital beds, bolt pistol still in hand as she stared at the ground. She did not look up as they filed into the room.

Lumen looked around at the executed patients. She felt Nick step up beside her and glanced at him to see how he was taking things. The look she received back was a mixture of gloom and growing understanding.

"Doctor?" she asked, approaching Exner.

The woman looked up, trying to recall the soldier's name, glancing at the embroidered letters on her uniform as she came up short.

"Attebury. You helped with some of the intake," she recalled, voice distant.

"What happened to evac?"

"They assessed the situation, and made their decision."

"We need to keep moving. Come with us."

"There's nothing left out there," she told them, looking to Liza, "You should have left when I told you to."

"Come with us," Liza tried, crouching down beside the woman she had aided over the past week. "There's still people you can help."

Lumen looked around at the bodies that surrounded them and wondered about the accuracy of that statement. Hearing a rattle, she turned and watched Nick's mother collect numerous bottles of pills off the shelf. She glanced at Nick to see if the meds were calling to him, but he was staring down at one of the dead, deep in thought.

"We need to go," she suggested, her voice a little softer than usual. "Leave the doc. She's not going anywhere."

Liza looked up at her, eyes full of contempt, before bowing her head, realizing she was right. The doctor had already checked out. There was no point trying to convince her any different. They were wasting precious time as it was.

Lumen led them through to the adjoining corridor, through ICU and down the staircase. They reached a fire escape and she glanced up at the box above it, watching for a flashing light. When she was sure there was none, she pushed open the door, tensing as she waited for an alarm. The morning light was permeated with silence. They blinked back the rays as they stepped outside, stopping when they noticed the enormous piles of human ash before them, some with bones still visible in the dust. Lumen walked past them, unconcerned – she'd been out here before, during one of her darker shifts of thought. Nick watched her, unable to comprehend how much death someone would need to be exposed to before they became so indifferent to it.

Daniel tried to move his daughter past them, but Ofelia had stopped, shrugging him off as she scanned the grey mounds for any sign of her mother. Her eyes came to rest on one of the exposed, hastily-destroyed skeletons; an amputee.

She broke down into sobs, legs giving out as grief overwhelmed her. Her father crouched down beside her, staring at Lumen as though this was her fault. Her eyes flicked to him briefly, but she appeared unmoved. Unable to watch any more, she continued on towards the doorway that would lead to the admin building, then down into the underground carpark where their transport awaited.

She paused at the door, and found Madison close on her heels. The others were following at their own pace, taking in the horrific scene around them, absorbing its implications to their situation.

"I never got to thank you for helping my son," Madison said, searching the other woman's face for a hint at what she was thinking.

"Thank Strand," Lumen replied, glancing over at her new employer, who stood impatiently waiting for the others to be ready to move off.

"Nick mentioned you specifically. It sounds like you helped keep him sane in here. He's been through a lot lately."

Lumen stared at her, recalling the fact that she was the one responsible for Nick's bruises.

"He's a good kid," she replied, moving away towards Strand.

Madison watched her exchange a few words with the mysterious man, and saw her son approach the pair, seeming to complete the triad. As a counsellor, she recognized her son as someone who latched onto people easily, especially those who offered him the attention and praise she apparently hadn't been able to provide. She watched the soldier place a tentative hand on his shoulder as he hugged his arms against himself and stared blankly at the piles of burnt bodies.

They turned to move towards the exit and, catching Madison's gaze, Lumen's hand fell away, back to the more familiar feel of her sidearm.

* * *

When they finally reached the underground carpark, they found it empty.

"Where are they?"

"Where's the car?"

"Alicia!" Madison called out.

"Chris!" Travis joined in, looking around frantically.

Lumen spotted a few drops of blood on the concrete floor, barely visible in the poor lighting, and rubbed at them with her foot, wondering the fate of the kids, hoping this wasn't a sign. Glancing up, she realized Strand was observing her.

"I'll find us some transport," she said to him, moving off to the nearest car.

"Keep it down," Daniel warned the worried parents, as they continued to call for their children.

"We're here! Mom!"

Lumen glanced up over the roof of the car she was attempting to break into, and spotted a pretty young woman throw her arms around Madison. The boy behind her, face bruised and bloody, went to Travis and Liza.

"Chris!"

"I tried, Dad," he said.

"What happened?" Liza asked, pulling him closer and inspecting his face.

"I'm fine," he assured them, smiling sheepishly as his mother pulled him into a hug.

"Did you get it yet?" Strand asked Lumen, appearing to have grown tired of the emotional reunion.

"Nearly…" She heard an encouraging 'click' and tugged the door open, grinning at him. "Just give me a sec to get her going."

She disappeared into the interior, legs sticking out as she leant under the steering wheel.

"Andy?"

"Ofelia."

"Andrew, put the gun down."

Lumen froze and glanced out at Strand, but he had turned away, distracted by the scene now unfolding.

"You don't have to do this, okay?"

"Just put the gun down.

Slipping out of the car, Lumen crouched beside the neighboring vehicle, glanced through its window. She spotted a man dressed in familiar fatigues, his gun pointed at one of the others. She began to creep around.

"Please, just put the gun down!"

"Please, please, please!" Ofelia begged, as he continued to point the weapon at her father.

Spotting movement from the corner of his eye, the soldier let off a shot, aiming instead for Ofelia, before his weapon was knocked from his hand. He felt blunt force connect with his jaw and he stumbled back, dazed. Seeing that his opponent was a woman, a fellow soldier, he regained his composure and attacked, attempting to wrestle her to the ground. She was a lot stronger than he had anticipated, and suddenly she was on top of him, fists hammering into his face. He felt his nose break, a tooth come loose. Blood poured into his mouth, and he coughed up a fountain, choking. Darkness was closing in fast.

"No!"

Liza watched Lumen pull out her sidearm and looked away just in time, jumping at the sound of the gunshot.

Alicia screamed and Chris jumped, eyes wide, trying to figure out where this new person had appeared from. At the sight of another soldier, he stepped backwards, towards the comfort of his mother, who pulled him back against her. Travis simply stared, shaken after witnessing what he had failed to do, realizing he could have prevented this from happening if he'd had the nerve to do what was needed in the first place.

Lumen stared down at the shattered face beneath her, aware now of the heavy gaze of her audience. She wiped blood off of her face with the back of her hand, smearing it into her hair, and got to her feet, holstering her gun. Looking around, she spotted Ofelia on the ground, red blooming on the front of her shirt.

"Shit."

Liza ran over to her, leaving Chris with his step-siblings. He took another step back as Lumen turned her gaze in his direction. She looked to Nick for a moment, then to his sister, who stared back, shaken.

Liza took a gauze pad from Madison as Lumen reached their side, pressing down on the wound as she secured the bandage.

"Wanna go get that car ready?" Strand asked her. She threw him a look, but did as he suggested.

"I'll work on something too," Travis said, sounding dazed. "We're going to need two."

He moved off towards a pick-up parked at the other end of the lot, throwing a troubled glance down at the dead soldier as he went. Chris looked to him as he passed, but gesture went unnoticed by his father.

Back beneath the steering wheel, Lumen reached for her knife to cut through the required wires. She felt around for it, found her sheath empty. Looking out through the door, she found Nick leaning against the opposite car, knife in hand. He held it out to her and she accepted with a curious smile.

They soon had two vehicles roaring and ready to go, Madison waiting at the wheel of the sedan Lumen had acquired – Alicia beside her, with Strand and Nick in the back – while Travis helped Lumen move the dead man from their path. She glanced in her rearview mirror at the pick-up behind her, where Chris sat waiting for his father to return.

He watched the soldier take the man she had killed by the arms and lift him, as his father grabbed the body by the legs. They moved together to the edge of the road and tossed him down, avoiding each other's gaze. Travis looked over at Chris, but he turned away, checking on his mother in the back, seated with the Salazars. Daniel held his daughter close as she shut her eyes, pain and exhaustion taking hold.

Watching Travis move back to his car, Lumen had a brief moment of concern as she realized there might not be any room left for her. After the display of violence she had just put on, she almost wouldn't have blamed them for taking off without her. Then the passenger door of the sedan swung open and Nick leaned out.

"Are you coming?"

She masked her relief and got in.

"Alright," Madison said, glancing at Strand in the rearview. "Where to?"


	3. Chapter 3 - Abigail

**Chapter Three - Abigail**

They were met by surprisingly few infected as they took to the back roads, as directed by Strand, travelling along the highway only when necessary.

Lumen felt her eyes grow heavy with the comforting rocking of the car, the warmth radiating from Nick making the prospect of sleep all the more inviting. It was a soldier's instinct to sleep while on the road, a lesson learnt from the long hours on rotation; sleep when you could, not when you wanted. She stared out the window, contemplating just closing her eyes. Tired as she was, there was still something about letting her guard down around this new group that made her uncomfortable. Paranoia was a fabulous stimulant.

Glancing in the rearview mirror, Madison caught Nick staring at the soldier. Feeling her eyes on him, he looked up, reading judgment on his mother's face; a look he knew well. He turned his gaze to the opposite window, sharing Strand's view of the dead landscape, but felt Lumen shift beside him. He looked back. She was attempting to get a better look at something, rolling down her window.

Chris watched the soldier stick her head out, wondering what had caught her attention. He leant forward and looked around, spotting the burnt-out, twisted metal of a wreckage up ahead. A helicopter. Travis saw it too, and glanced over at his son, his father's instinct telling him to make his son look away, but he knew Chris had already witnessed too much. It seemed redundant at this point. They passed the blackened ruin, stark against the grey of the canal, and saw the pilot still strapped to his seat. He reached for them, skin charred and crackling as he struggled against his binds.

Lumen sat back, the roasted man sparking her memory. She glanced down at her watch.

Something about what the soldier read seemed to concern her.

"Problem?" Madison asked.

Lumen regrouped quickly, unaware that she was being observed.

"Why do you ask?" she replied, voice casual.

"You keep checking your watch."

"This one doesn't miss a thing," Strand commented, bored, as he stared out his window. Nick glanced between the three, oblivious to their meaning.

"It's just nice to be able to mark the hours with daylight again, rather than the beeps of thermometers," Lumen said.

"Nothing to do with Cobalt?" Madison pressed. She watched the soldier carefully. Hell, they were all trained in the art of deception, she thought, as Lumen's expression gave away nothing. She waited for the question, but it never came. Lumen had already pieced the story together: the soldier out for vengeance, the bandage on his arm, the knowledge of classified information. She was not unfamiliar with that particular method of interrogation.

"We've put some miles between us and the city," Lumen replied, "That'll help."

"When does it start?"

"If it hasn't already, it could be any time."

"We were told nine o'clock."

"They would have awaited confirmation that the facility had been cleared of all personnel. Since I doubt that happened, they may have chosen to delay it."

"Or…?"

"Or they also became compromised. In that case, we would have nothing to worry about."

"What's Cobalt?" Nick asked, glancing at Strand, who appeared uninterested, as if he already knew. The gold watch had gotten a lot of valuable information from Lieutenant Melvin.

Madison looked at Lumen, wondering if she had the nerve to admit having knowledge of the military's last resort.

"It was the signal they would use to start an evacuation."

"Evacuation to where?"

"A military complex."

Understanding dawned on him. "Only military, right?"

She nodded.

"And what about the rest of us?"

"That's the point the situation would have been deemed futile."

"Napalm the city," Strand said, "A means to an end. All for the greater good."

They drove the remaining miles in silence, eventually reaching an area of large, expensive looking houses. The closer they got to the coast, the bigger and more extravagant the houses seemed to become. They pulled in front of one particularly modern-looking home; its refined elegance reminiscent of Strand himself. They made their way up the drive with what little luggage they had managed to escape with, Lumen waiting at the back of the group, keeping an eye out for any approaching infected. Though their calls seemed to bounce around the neighborhood, she didn't manage to actually spot any. Moving to catch up with the others, she soon found herself walking beside Chris.

He seemed uncomfortable with her proximity, glancing briefly at the rifle across her back, then up at her to see if she had noticed. She gazed at him, curious, sensing his discomfort.

"Chris, right?"

"Yeah," he answered, keeping his attention trained forward, to where his mother walked ahead of them.

"Lumen."

He glanced at her again, expression confused, wondering what purpose she had for an introduction.

"I didn't get to make the greatest first impression with you guys. Sorry for that."

"For what? You did what needed to be done. It could have gone a lot worse. Someone could have been killed by that guy."

She was thrown by his blunt acceptance.

"Did you work with my mom at all?"

"Ah, not really. She helped with a couple of my men when she first came in."

"Your men?"

"From my squad. The ones I led on the field."

He glanced at her uniform for some indication of ranking.

"Sergeant," she assisted.

"What was wrong with them?"

"One broke his leg pretty badly. We ended up having to amputate. I had to hold him down while they –"

"I don't think he needs to hear that story," Liza interrupted, turning back. The group had come to a halt in front of the security gate, waiting while Strand tapped in the code.

"Grid's down," Nick reminded him, as he watched him press buttons.

"Generator kicks in when the power dies," Strand assured him. He glanced up as the gate began to slide back.

"Mum, its fine," Chris told his mother, curious to hear more.

"Christopher."

Defeated, he glanced at Lumen, adjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, then fell into step with his parents. It was a tale for another day.

Nick waited by the gate with Strand for Lumen to catch up. She seemed amused by something.

"Telling children bedtime stories?" Strand commented, as she passed through.

"I don't think I could tell them anything worse than what they've already witnessed."

"Yes. I'm sure 'Woman Beats Fellow Soldier Half to Death' would have made you a viral sensation," he said. "When should we expect this rain of fire?"

"Honestly, it's probably already begun. They'd start in the city and work their way out. Could be within the hour. Might not reach us until dark, if we're lucky."

Lumen glanced at Nick, who was unusually quiet. Hands in jacket pockets, he stared ahead, listening, occasionally glancing around the surrounding garden. She placed a hand on his shoulder as she moved past him and he looked up, smiling after her. Strand watched this from the gate, then pressed a button on the inner console. The gate slid closed behind them.

"Anyone hungry? Make yourself at home," Strand invited as they stepped through the front door. The interior was just as elegant as the outer design suggested. Lumen admired the open living area, then paused to take in the view behind it. At the sight of the vast, blue water she felt calmer.

Madison stood outside already, taking in the views from the balcony. Nick went to her, taking advantage of the first real moment they'd had to talk.

Daniel crouched in front of a sofa, where Ofelia sat weakened from her wound.

"It's through and through. Clean," Liza was telling him, as she examined it. "She's going to be fine."

Chris stood a few feet away, watching his mother work, a small, proud smile on his face.

"You want a drink?"

Lumen spun around and found Alicia behind her, holding up a glass.

"Yeah, that'd be great," she replied, a little thrown by the polite gesture.

"There's orange juice."

"That'll do fine."

Alicia poured the glass and slid it across to her, her movement cautious.

"Thank-you," she said, as Lumen took it. "For helping my brother."

Lumen recognized a struggle within the girl that she too had experienced at that age; an obligatory love for a sibling that didn't deserve it.

"Were you part of the groups that cleared out the neighborhoods?" Alicia asked, staring down into her own glass.

Lumen's eyes narrowed as she swallowed her mouthful of juice, unsure where this was going.

"Yeah."

"Did you clear out the houses in the El Sereno area?"

"Why are you asking?"

"I had a…friend. We had to leave him behind. I just thought…"

Her voice held little hope, making the questions sound more like a formality than someone looking for closure. To Lumen, it sounded like she had already made her own assumptions about the outcome, so she lied.

"No, I wasn't assigned to those areas. Sorry about your friend."

"Yeah," Alicia said absent-mindedly, sipping at her drink as she stared down at the counter.

Leaving her to her thoughts, Lumen set down her glass and went to find Strand. She assumed having generators also meant having hot water, and a shower was calling her name.

She found him in the study, staring down at a photo frame.

"What is it?" he asked without looking up.

"Shower?"

"End of the hall. Just use the ensuite."

* * *

The cascade of warm water felt incredible against her grimy skin and weary muscles. She undid her hair from its usual tight braid, and let it fall around her shoulders, relaxing her further. Browsing the assorted collection of expensive sounding shampoos, conditioners and soaps, she picked the ones that smelt the best, and watched the water around her feet turn from clear to murky brown. She flinched as her hand touched a sensitive area of skin on her shoulder. Twisting around to see her reflection in the glass, she saw a large, purple bruise forming where the other soldier had managed strike her. She was pleased, at least, that the bruise around her eye was fading; as if killing the man who had given it to her had somehow drained it of its color.

Washing out the last of the conditioner from her hair, she reached for a towel and realized she'd left it on the bed while she had searched for fresh clothes to wear. All she had managed to turn up was a black t-shirt that looked like it might fit, and some fresh, black socks. The drawers and wardrobe were lined with crisp shirts in various colors, silk ties in various designs, and tailored suits with matching, polished shoes.

Wringing as much water as she could from her hair, she dried her feet on the bathmat and snuck back into the bedroom, failing to see Chris, who had only just wandered in, exploring the house. They froze, stared at each other, then Lumen made a dash for the towel, hoping to cover what little he had failed to see.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" he said, face red as he turned to leave the room.

Lumen stood, brain stalling as she wrapped the towel around herself.

 _And so I continue to make wonderful impressions on these people_ , she thought to herself, hastily pulling the t-shirt over her head. She had no idea what to say to him to remedy this. An apology? Maybe nothing at all. Pass it off as an awkward encounter and let it be?

Staring down at her blood splattered military-issued pants and shirt, she debated putting them back on. They were stale with sweat and gore, but she had limited options. She didn't think she could pull off a pair of men's slacks. She could wash them, but she didn't have the energy, nor did she think they had the time. The phrase 'caught with your pants down' sprang to mind, and she gave in, tugging them on once more.

"You okay?" Alicia asked Chris, as he passed her in the kitchen, face red.

"Yeah," he replied, his movements awkward.

She pulled a pack of popsicles from the freezer and offered him one.

As he began to unwrap it, Lumen entered the kitchen and he blushed, avoiding eye contact.

"Mind if I grab one, too?" the soldier asked, and Alicia obliged, observing her step-sibling's odd behavior.

"Sorry about earlier," Lumen added, leaning across him.

He glanced up briefly, his face turning a shade darker, and said, "It's fine. I should have knocked."

Piecing it together, Alicia attempted to hide a smirk, receiving a scowl from Chris in return.

"Have you guys seen Nick?"

"Lumen!"

* * *

"You're dripping all over my rug," Strand commented, as she entered the bedroom, hair not quite dry.

"Couldn't find the hairdryer," she retorted, peeling the wrapper from her popsicle, shoving the rubbish in her pocket. "What's up?"

Nick seemed excited to let her in on something, gesturing for her to look through a pair of mounted binoculars. As she stepped up to it, sucking on the ice treat, he took in her new fresh-faced, wet hair look. Without her military jacket, she cut a much more feminine figure. What he had assumed to be dirt or blood on her face earlier, turned out to be a scattering of freckles across her nose. Something about the feature gave her a softer appearance.

A few miles out on the water, she spotted a large yacht, the namevisible through the lens.

"So that's Abigail, huh? And here I was thinking Abigail was a lover of yours."

Strand threw her a look and she smirked, stepping away.

"How do we get to it?"

"I have a raft waiting on the shore. We'll need to make two trips. Won't be able to fit us all."

"Then smooth sailing after that, right?"

He chuckled and headed back inside to finish packing.

"You didn't get me one," Nick commented, nodding to the popsicle.

"We have to share this one," she joked, "Gotta start rationing, kid."

He smiled and they leant against the balcony wall, staring out into the crashing waves.

"Man, I haven't seen the water in a while."

"They don't give you guys holidays?"

"I had just finished my tour of duty when the infection broke out. Spent probably two days at home before I got the call."

"That sucks."

She shrugged in a 'shit happens' sort of way.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay. My mom brought back a lot from the med bay. That'll keep me going for a while. Wean me off."

He stared down at his shoes, shifting uncomfortably.

"Do you work better on reward, or punishment?" she asked him, sensing his self-doubt.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, if you fall off the wagon again, should I kick your ass, or should I reward you for staying on?"

"Depends what you give me, I guess," he smirked,

She took in his bruised face and felt a pang of guilt.

"Ah, shit. Sorry. I shouldn't be joking about beating you. I'm sorry I didn't step in when they tried to take you away. What?"

He stared at her with an odd expression.

"My mum just gave me the same apology. You guys realize I'm an adult, right? I can look after myself."

"Please, a strong breeze would knock you over."

"Hey, I can hold my own when I have to. Where would you be if we took your guns away?"

Having witnessed exactly what she could do in a melee situation, he didn't need an answer to that.

"There's nothing a gun can do to a man, that I can't do with my bare hands."

"Why do I find that appealing?"

They laughed, looking out across the bay, feeling genuine contentment for the first time in a while. In this little moment, there was no infection, no piles of bodies, and no fight for survival; just comfort in the company of a friend.

A gunshot ripped through the still air.

"Where did that come from?" Strand asked, striding out to the binoculars.

"The shore, I think," Lumen replied, feeling a knot in her stomach. She passed her melting popsicle to Nick, instinct kicking in, and went to find her gun.

* * *

Unable to find her sidearm, a bad feeling sinking in, she was one of the last to make it down the hillside where the others had already gathered; all but Ofelia, who remained in the house, asleep under her father's watchful eye.

She had her rifle raised, ready to fight, but when she saw what was happening, she was struck with empathy.

Chris knelt beside his mother's body, clutching at his head, sobbing. Alicia stood not far from him, expression blank as she stared into the dead woman's face. Looking around, Lumen saw Madison holding Travis in the water. Her sidearm had been left abandoned beside Liza. There was nothing she could do here. She took a seat on a chunk of graffitied rubble, rifle resting against her leg. The breeze was nice; refreshing as it blew through her damp hair. The smell of the ocean worked its way through her senses, washing away the stench of death that seemed to cling to her. As the sun sank deeper on the horizon, her skin broke out in goose-pimples, the temperature dropping fast.

Alicia approached Chris to console him, but as she lay her hand on his shoulder, he shrugged it off.

"Get away from me!"

His voice cracked as he broke down once more, clutching at his mother, shaking her gently as if to wake her.

Mouth moving, soundless as she fought for words, Alicia backed away.

A shadow fell over Lumen and she glanced up at Nick. He took in the scene.

"What happened?"

He glanced around and spotted his mother in the surf.

"No idea," Lumen answered, her voice distant.

He took a seat beside her, hands in jacket pockets, and watched his sister rush past them.

"Alicia," Nick tried, but she ignored him, tearing towards the house. He scuffed his shoes against the concrete, thinking. "What do we do?"

"Let them be, I guess."

Lumen froze, ears pricking up as she thought she heard a distant rumble. She glanced at Nick, but he didn't appear to have heard anything, eyes stuck on his grieving step-brother.

"Where are you going?" he asked as she stood up.

"I need to check something."

* * *

Passing Alicia, Ofelia and Daniel in the living room, Lumen made a beeline for the study, where she had seen a pair of loose binoculars earlier. The larger, mounted pair on Strand's bedroom balcony didn't have the reach she needed.

Acquiring the desired item, she stepped out the front door and looked around for a foothold that would allow her to climb onto the roof. Failing to see one, she tried the balcony.

"What the hell is she doing?" Daniel asked Alicia, as they watched the soldier balance along the balcony wall. He shrugged off the odd behavior, turning his attention back to his daughter. "Better for us if she falls."

Frowning, Alicia turned back to watch the soldier, concern winning her over as she strode out towards her.

"What are you doing?"

"I need to get up higher."

"Why?"

"There's something I need to check. Alicia, will you do me a favor?"

Strand watched from the adjacent balcony as Nick's sister gave the soldier a boost, allowing her to pull herself up and over.

"Any particular reason you're climbing my roof?" he asked, startling her accomplice.

"You can't hear that?" the soldier asked, squinting against the glare of the setting sun. She looked through the binoculars towards the city and saw plumes of smoke and a distinct orange glow. "Shit."

"How close?" Strand asked.

Lumen watched the blaze spread as the planes began to drop the bombs, spotting dozens of uprooted infected pushing out of the flames.

"We need to start moving." She looked behind her, down towards where Chris still sat with his dead mother. She saw Travis and Madison making their way up the beach, stopping occasionally as Travis was hit with another wave of grief. Nick stood at the top of the cliffs above them, watching and waiting for his mother's return.

"What happened down there?" Strand asked.

Lumen looked to Alicia for help answering that one.

"Liza was bitten, I think. Travis had to…."

"Oh," was all Strand replied, "Well, we don't have time for this."

"Don't have time?" Alicia repeated, offended by his cold words. "Chris just lost his mother!"

"A shame. But if we delay any longer, we'll all be dead. Do whatever you need to. Get the others moving."

* * *

"No, I'm not- I can't just leave her here!"

Travis and Madison stared down at Chris, all of their attempts to tear him away having failed. Lumen stood behind them, arms crossed as she observed. She had told them the news of the approaching firestorm, the flood of infected on its way. Nothing seemed to work.

Strand began to ready the raft on the beach, tossing his bags inside as he glanced over at them.

"We need to move," Lumen pushed as gently as she could.

"I'm not leaving her," Chris repeated, firm in his decision.

"We'll take her with us," Madison suggested, and Travis looked at her. "We'll bring her on the boat, bury her at sea."

At the mention of letting her go, Chris was assaulted by a fresh wave of sorrow, wiping angrily at his face, embarrassed to be seen in such a state.

Knowing how well that idea would sit with Strand, Lumen agreed anyway, her voice respectful, "I'll go find something to wrap her in."

She returned not long after carrying a white sheet, and waited for Chris to step back before she laid it down next to the body.

"Madison, do you mind?" Lumen asked, preparing to shift Liza.

"No," Chris interjected, "No. I want to do it."

Lumen took her by the feet, watching Chris struggle to lift from the other end. When they had finally lain her down, Chris helped her wrap the sheet around, leaving her face exposed.

"We'll need to carry her to the shore."

"I've got it."

"Chris."

He looked up at her, eyes filled with pain.

"We'll look after her, okay?" she assured him.

Entrusting the important job to the soldier, he knelt down and stroked his mother's face as if memorizing it one last time, bowing his head before finally stepping back.

"Gather whatever items you need to. We're going to make the first run soon." When Chris had moved off out of earshot, his father by his side, Lumen collected her pistol.

"Want help moving her?" Madison asked, watching the soldier holster the weapon Liza had taken from the house.

"Can you manage?"

Madison stared down at the pale corpse of her boyfriend's ex-wife.

"Yeah, I think so."

Sensing mixed feelings, Lumen paused.

"I can get someone else, if you want."

"No. It should be me."

Not sure what she meant by that, Lumen took Liza under the arms and waited for Madison to lift her feet. They began the slow, awkward task of carrying the body to the shore.

"And what exactly are we planning on doing with her?" Strand asked, when they finally reached him, dropping Liza down with unintentional force, their arms giving out.

"Burial at sea," Lumen replied.

Madison stared at him, ready for an argument, but he retreated under the heavy gaze of both women, knowing when to pick his battles. Hearing movement behind them, they turned to see Daniel helping Ofelia across the sand. Her face tensed with each step, as pain moved through her shoulder. She saw the body wrapped in white, but seemed unperturbed, no physical or emotional energy left to question it.

Daniel glanced from the body to Lumen, then to Madison.

"What happened?" he asked.

"She was infected."

He glanced at Lumen again as he helped Ofelia into the raft.

"It wasn't her," Madison assured him, sensing the hostility. "Travis did it."

That piece of information surprised Lumen, who had assumed Madison would have elected herself for the task, considering Travis's history with Liza.

"He wanted it that way," she added, looking away across the water.

Nick approached now, laden with bags, glancing around as he felt the tension amongst the group.

"Where's your sister?" Madison asked, as he began dumping the supplies.

He looked down at the sheet-wrapped body and said, "Still in the house. What are we doing?"

"We'll make two trips," Strand told him, "You'll come with myself, Ofelia and her father, here."

"And Liza," Lumen requested. "Chris doesn't need to ride with her."

"Or Travis," Madison added. "That's a good idea. Take Alicia, too. The rest of us will come on the second run."

* * *

Giving Chris something to occupy his mind while Strand made the first run, Lumen watched him scale the rooftop with the effortless grace of a lanky teenager. She passed up the binoculars.

"What do you see?"

"They're coming," she heard him say, adrenalin kicking in as urgency took hold. Chris, however, continued to stare off at the approaching flames, absorbed in the orange glow and the destruction it spelt.

"Let's move," Lumen suggested. For a moment he seemed to ignore her, then he lowered the binoculars and glanced down.

He jumped down with the same amount of finesse, and held out the binoculars.

"Keep them," she told him, "They're not mine anyway."

Grabbing their gear, they raced to the shore, where Madison was waiting with Travis.

"What took you so long?" Travis asked, glancing between the two for an answer.

An explosion sounded close by, fire erupting at the front of the house. A plane whizzed by overhead, followed by another. Flames crept into trees, covering their branches, spreading to the grass, then the house itself.

Lumen held out her hand for the binoculars and Chris obliged. She tried to make out any shapes on the water, but saw nothing against the sweeping darkness. In the distance, she saw the dim light of the Abigail as Strand started her up. A motor sounded somewhere from the same direction, alerting them to the incoming safety.

"Get ready," she told them, but it wasn't the ride she was referring to. From the cliffs, they watched the infected begin to approach.


	4. Chapter 4 - Vermillion

**Chapter Four - Vermillion**

Nick willed the boat to move faster, praying he would make it back in time. From aboard the Abigail they had seen the swell of flames and knew the infected wouldn't be far behind. Even if his family was safe, he knew Lumen would be fighting. It's what she was programmed to do. He just wasn't sure how deep that programming went, what lengths she would go to in order to keep the others safe. Pushing the thought from his mind, he twisted the throttle harder.

As the raft reached the shallows, he leapt out and began to drag it ashore. He searched the group as they began to toss their belongings on board, no sign of the soldier.

"Where's Lumen?" he asked his mother, but she either ignored him, or the words were lost to the combined roar of the surrounding fire and ocean.

Gunshots sounded from the cliffs, and he looked up. Just as he had predicted, Lumen was holding the line for them.

"Nick! Nick!" Madison called to him, as he took off. "Goddammit."

"Lumen!"

She barely heard him over noise of the fire, the infected and her own gunshots.

"Get back to the raft, Nick!"

"What are you doing? Come on!"

He picked up a rock and knocked one of the infected to the ground, taking hold of her arm, lowering her gun.

"Lumen!" he begged, as she pulled free from his grip. It was the desperation in his voice that finally got through to her. Firing off another few rounds, still not satisfied that she had done enough, she ran after him.

"Remember when I said to do what I tell you?"

"I'm not one of your soldiers," he replied, as they jogged down the path, "Were you planning on swimming to the Abigail?"

Together, they slid the raft back into the water, holding it steady while they watched the others dodge the encroaching infected. Lumen let go and ran to pull one off Chris, shooting it through the head. Overcome with thoughts of his mother's execution-style death, Chris froze on the ground. Lumen pulled him to his feet, and shoved him towards the boat as more infected flooded in. Dazed, he managed to make it, boarding with help from Madison. He fell back against the bow, shaking. Travis was the last to make it back, helping Lumen get them waist-deep while Nick manned the motor. Helping Travis over the side, they got ready for Lumen, but she had turned back to hold the infected off once more.

"Lumen!"

Before she could unshoulder her rifle, Lumen felt hands grab her and yank her backwards onto the raft. She landed with a grunt, legs hanging over the edge. One of the infected she had missed managed to grab hold of her foot, but she was unable to shake it off. Thinking fast, Nick grabbed it by the hair, tilted the running motor, and pressed its face down onto the spinning propeller, splattering those closest with blood. Grimacing, he let go, ignoring the looks he received from the others, and steered them towards the yacht.

Glancing up at him, Lumen was surprised to read anger on his face. He avoided her gaze.

* * *

"Good work, Nicholas," Strand muttered to himself like a proud father, watching him help the others aboard.

As they cleared the landing, they turned back to view the desolated landscape. Fire seemed to engulf everything. The orange glow lit up the night, and the breeze carried with it the stench of burning fuel. In the distance, the planes continued to drop napalm bombs on the neighborhood. Madison wondered if the fire had managed to reach their home, the place she had raised Nick and Alicia; the house she had built with Stephen. She put her arm around her daughter and pulled her close, resting her head against hers, and for the first time since they had escaped the complex, she allowed herself to feel.

As Nick moved off to speak with Strand, Chris caught him by the arm. He turned, glancing down at the hand, throwing his step-brother a confused look.

"Where is she?" Chris asked.

* * *

"You're pissed with me," Lumen said later, as Nick helped her secure the raft. The sun was just beginning to rise behind them. They hadn't managed to find time to sleep, sticking instead to Strand's theory of constant motion.

"You wouldn't come," he replied, no trace of anger in his voice.

"I was holding them off."

"You were going to let them get you."

He stopped what he was doing for a moment, thinking, then continued securing the rope.

"I wanted to make sure you were all safe before I led them back to the shore with me. Look, I know it sucks, but if all of you escaping meant me getting killed, that would have been okay. That-"

"No," he interrupted, "Why would you even say that?"

"It makes sense."

"No. We're safe because you're with us. Not because you make a good distraction while we make our getaway."

As he gazed at her, he began to see a much deeper problem. Distracted by a knot in the line, she failed to catch the meaningful look.

"You're not going to stop until you get taken down with me, right? Just to prove a point?"

"Well, now that I know your weakness for the at-risk and helpless…I can use that."

He smiled, hoping the joke would ease the tension, but Lumen had a strange expression on her face.

"Hey, have you guys seen Chris?" Travis interrupted.

Nick stared at Lumen for a second, then said, "Yeah, he's with Liza." He stood to show Travis the way.

"You got this?" he asked her.

"Yeah," she assured him, breaking from her trance and securing the winch. She hit the switch and initiated the storing sequence, looking up at the top deck, staring at their captain with a dark look.

* * *

"I can't decide which of us you played more."

"'Played'? Please, let's not be melodramatic. Nick attached himself to you the night you rescued him from choking on his own vomit. I needed your loyalty. I got his. You followed. I gave the boy purpose. I made him feel special. That's all addicts need. Watch. He'll stay clean as long as I keep him busy."

"So why am I here?"

"You're a soldier. Soldiers need orders. You needed a mission. I gave you one. Protecting these people, protecting Nick, is your new mission. And that will occasionally mean doing things for me in order to keep this plan running smoothly. Accept that, and we won't have a problem."

"You groomed him."

Strand threw her a look, unappreciative of the choice of wording.

"Will you watch the console?"

Realizing she had been leaning on what looked like important buttons and switches, she moved away.

"I watched both of you and I found a way to play you off each other. I didn't force anyone's hand. I merely used your weaknesses to my advantage. You needed your mission, he needed his sense of purpose."

"And I'm yet to discover your weakness," she said.

Strand smirked.

"You're assuming I have one?"

"Oh, I'm sure I can guess."

Nothing annoyed her more than the fact that he would always be one step ahead. He was the brains and she was the brawn, that's all there was to it.

"Don't worry about me," Strand said as she moved down the steps, "What you need is to get these people on your side. Before the old man kills you in your sleep."

He chuckled as a middle finger appeared for a moment above the stairwell, then the door slammed and she was gone.

* * *

The air outside had bite to it, and Lumen pulled her jacket closer around her as she drifted along the deck, taking in the pink morning sky. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh, sea air, willing away the acrid stench of napalm.

"Where is everyone?"

Nick, seated on the bow, legs dangling over the side, moved over to make room for her.

"Sleeping, I think. Or maybe just resting. You're not tired?"

"I am beyond exhausted. I'm at that point where you might as well just stay awake, you know?" she replied, brushing a finger over a streak of blood on his cheek. It didn't budge, already dry.

"I think that means you need to sleep," he smiled.

"What about you?"

"I'm just happy to be here."

"Getting high on life?"

He laughed and lay back, legs still dangling. She was jealous of his ability to maintain an air of effortless cool, even with a streak of gore on his face, and an outfit that would have looked more appropriate on a man Daniel's age.

"You ever think about how things happen, the way you end up meeting people you never would have crossed paths with otherwise? Like all the stuff that has to go right? Or wrong?"

She looked down at him.

"You're not high on life, but you're high on something."

"No, I'm serious. You said you only just finished your tour of duty, right?"

"Mm."

"And if you hadn't, you'd be still be overseas…where, Afghanistan?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, but then this infection breaks out, and you just happen to be called in to lend a hand in L.A. And you just happen to end up guarding the pens. And you run into Strand. You two would probably never have crossed paths in normal life."

"I can only hope."

"And me. I just happen to be going through a withdrawal that gets me taken away by the military and thrown into your complex."

Eyes closed against the sunlight, Nick cracked one open to make sure she was listening, but he couldn't tell. She was leaning forward on the railing, staring across the water.

"What's your point?"

"Just the kind of things I think about. All the little things that have to happen for things to work out the way they do."

"Fate," Lumen stated.

"I used to think everything was meaningless. I had no direction. No idea what I was doing. Now neither does anyone else. And suddenly it's like I see it. I finally see it."

She stared at him, processing the idea.

"You know those movies where people get the ability to go back in time and fix whatever mistakes they've made, then they come back and realize they're even less happy than before? I prefer to think of things that way. That things work out the way they're meant to. This one film I saw, no matter what the person did differently, things always turned out the same, because it was just how things were meant to be. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed, or like I've made a shitty choice, I think of that."

"So you think this is where you're meant to be right now?"

"It doesn't matter. Because this is where I am anyway."

"I like that."

"Live in the moment. Work with what you have available. That's all you can do."

They sat in silence, dwelling on the other's words, when distant voices drew their attention.

"Oh my god."

A large raft, overcrowded with dozens of survivors, floated a few yards away from their vessel.

"What do we do?" Nick asked as they jumped to their feet. "We've gotta help them, right? Right?"

Lumen stared off at the boatload of refugees, but gave no reply. Sensing her stance, Nick ran off to find Strand, passing Madison and Alicia on the way.

"What is it?" Madison asked as he slipped by. She looked out and saw them.

"Oh my god!" Alicia said, "We have to do something. What do we do?"

"Go get Travis," her mother replied, looking at the soldier. Daniel appeared from the side of the boat, carrying a shotgun. He cocked it and looked out.

"What are you going to do? Sink them faster?" Lumen asked, voice distant as she stared out at the desperate survivors, but her hand came to rest on her sidearm.

Strand arrived with Nick, but he was unmoved by the sight.

"We have to stop," Madison said.

"That's funny."

"If we don't help them, they'll drown."

"Then they should return to land."

"We're too far out."

Nick glanced over at Lumen, still in the same spot he had left her. She was staring down at the water, ignoring the cries for help.

"Don't do this," Madison begged, looking from the stern captain to the people out at sea.

"Look," he told her, "I've filled my mercy quota. Eight people saved to date. Be thankful."

Travis emerged from the ship with Alicia, expression concerned as she had explained the situation below.

"Oh shit," he said, when he saw them out on the raft.

"We're going to help them, right?" Alicia asked, glancing between the adults, as if any other choice would be incomprehensible. She looked to Travis for answers as the others refused to give any.

"Let me talk to Strand," he assured her, "Look, go inside. There's a handheld radio I saw in there earlier. Listen to the channels, see if you can find anyone who might be able to help us. Can you do that for us?"

Alicia thought about it, glancing around, then gave in, trusting them to make the right choice.

Satisfied they all understood his position on the issue, Strand began climbing the steps back up to the top deck. "Lumen, with me," he ordered.

For a moment she didn't seem to hear him, then she turned slowly and followed, staring down at the deck.

"What? You think they're going to mutiny?" she asked when she reached the top. He sat down in the captain's chair and turned away as Madison appeared on the stairwell.

"We need to stop the boat," she pushed, "Those people are going to die."

"If I stop this boat, it'll be to drop folks off, not pick folks up."

Madison glanced at Lumen, for the first time getting a 'hired-thug' vibe from her. It had crossed her mind before that this was Strand's real reason for keeping her around.

"You don't have an opinion on this?" she asked her.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Madison."

She dropped her gaze, defeated, but gave one last off-hand remark.

"How's your mercy quota?"

The question seemed to throw the soldier, who looked away, for once unable to hide her guilt. Even Strand was surprised to see her walk away, disappearing into the captain's cabin.

"She's following the captain's orders," he told Madison, getting up to leave, "You should try it."

Madison watched him follow the soldier, then turned to look down at Travis. She shook her head. Beside him, Daniel lowered his gun.

* * *

"Could it be that you actually do have feelings?" Strand joked as he took a seat inside.

"Fuck you," she replied, but her words were without fight. She was tired.

"You wanted me to stop?" he confirmed.

"No."

"I think you should have stopped."

Nick stood at the top of the staircase leading up from below, listening to their exchange.

"We had this conversation in the pens. Was I not clear?" he replied, as the boy approached them.

"This was different."

He looked at Lumen as if to prove a point. She stood by the window, staring out across the water.

"They could have been infected, Nick," she reasoned, "We can't risk that. We can't trust people anymore."

"What she said," said Strand.

"So where do we go from here?" Nick asked, moving away from the controversial topic.

"South, to San Diego."

Lumen turned her head and threw him an odd look, but said nothing.

"And what if that doesn't work?"

"I don't know. The whole world is 'I don't know' right now, Nick. You should be used to that."

* * *

 _There was that smell._

 _The stench of overcooked meat, roasting in fire. The stink of burnt rubber and fuel. People were screaming, but she knew she couldn't get to them. Her orders were to keep her own people alive. No one else mattered. But they were dying…_

 _A little girl appeared, skipping towards the fire._

 _No._

 _She called to her, but her words were eaten by the next explosion._

 _Attebury!_

 _She wanted to run to her, she still had time._

 _But her orders…_

 _The girl disappeared into the flames, then all the other screams seemed to fall away, replaced instead by one single screech. A child in agony._

Daniel looked up as the soldier gasped and jerked upright on the couch. He went back to tying the fishing line, hooks and tackle lain out on the table in front of him.

She looked around, trying to get her bearings as the dream faded from her mind, bringing her back to reality. Swinging her legs over the side, she leant forward and rubbed her eyes, pausing when she realized she wasn't alone in the room.

"Bad dreams. They are the curse of a guilty mind," Daniel commented.

She was still for a moment. She remembered coming downstairs to find a place to crash as exhaustion overwhelmed her. She looked outside. It was still light outside. She could only have been asleep for a few hours.

"What am I supposed to be feeling guilty about? Saving your life? Getting you all safely on board?"

"These things will not absolve you. The things you've done will always be there, and they will always haunt you. That is your penance. The dead will never let you be. Not even in your sleep."

"Yeah, well, the living don't let me be when I'm awake, so I guess it balances out."

She got to her feet.

"You can make all the jokes you want…"

"Look, I don't know what your grudge is with the military, old man, but I personally haven't done anything against you, or your family. I'm sorry about what happened to your wife. It was a fucked up situation. She should have been allowed to pass surrounded by family, not in the basement of a makeshift hospital. If there's anything you want to know, ask me. You don't need to flay me to get an answer. That was your work, right? On the soldier? What? You don't think I recognize that technique? I've assisted in interrogations before."

He stared at her, curious about the confession, but he said no more, focusing instead on rigging the fishing rods.

"What are you doing?"

"Catching our dinner," he replied simply, tying the last of the sinkers on the line. Water this deep required a little extra weight to get the hook down to where he wanted it. "If we're to live on the sea, we may as well make the most of what it has to offer us."

Lumen paused a moment as she tried to shake the last of the dream from her mind. She staggered to the kitchen and found water cold and ready in the fridge. She grabbed a bottle and began to gulp it down.

"It's not normal, Maddy. I can't leave him in there with her. He just sits there, staring at her body. He hasn't slept."

"It's part of his grieving process. You want to force him to get over it?"

"No, of course not. I just don't think it's healthy for him. He needs to say goodbye. I…I want to let her go. I think we should do it today. The longer we leave it…He's not going to get any better if we hold it off."

Lumen turned as Alicia entered the kitchen, her face pale and drawn as she too grabbed a drink. She glanced at Lumen, but made no effort to talk, retreating quickly back to the seclusion of the bunks below.

Expression thoughtful, Lumen grabbed a second bottle of water and meandered down the staircase, down along the hallway. She was yet to explore this section of the ship, and had no clue what each door held behind it. As she passed Alicia's room, she heard the crackle of a radio. She respected Strand's decision, having grown used to the idea of leaving others behind or leaving them to their fate. Some you just couldn't help. It was like reaching out for a drowning man and letting him take you down with him. She thought of Madison's question from earlier. Her mercy quota was far from full, but then she hadn't joined the army to help people – that had been a lie she had once told herself, one she sometimes told others too. She had joined to get away from her family, and now she would never see them again. That thought sat on her shoulders like a small child; not heavy enough to bother her, but enough to be felt.

Continuing along the hall, she reached the room she had been looking for. The door was ajar just enough to see in. Chris sat beside his mother, knees drawn up to his chest. He looked up and saw the soldier leaning in the doorway. He found something appealing about the way she postured herself, but became concerned by his sudden thoughts. In truth, her stance was completely innocent, but since his run in with her at Strand's house, his teenage brain decided to turn it into something more. He scowled at her for triggering such disrespectful thoughts in him in the presence of his dead mother.

Taking the look as simple teenage angst, Lumen entered and held out the water. Thrown by the thoughtful gesture, he accepted, scowl falling away in an instant.

"Mind if I sit?" she asked.

He frowned, but she did so regardless. They sipped their drinks in an uncomfortable silence.

"She was a great nurse, your mom. I've never seen someone who could calm people down so quickly. Not something I've ever been good at. Short temper. I'm glad you got to spend some time with her before…"

"Why? What's the point? She lied to me. She knew she was infected. She should have told me. I could have done something."

Lumen just stared at him, instinct telling her to argue back, tell him there was nothing he could have done, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"He just shot her."

Out in the corridor, Nick was heading towards Alicia's room to check on her. He heard the voices and, intrigued, stopped near the door to listen. His mother came down the stairs.

"Nick, what are you doing? Leave him."

He made a gesture for her to wait and she stopped, hearing the voices too.

"The first time I saw someone come back, I didn't even know what was going on. We'd been under attack and one of the hostiles had bitten my second in command. We patched him up and everything seemed peachy. Then the fever set in. I'd been touring with this guy for years. He was the closest thing I ever had to a best friend. And deep down, I knew he wasn't going to make it. He was so sick, and we were boxed in, but… I couldn't bring myself to do it. I let him turn, because I was too selfish to end his suffering. And he _really_ suffered."

Madison exchanged a look with her son. It wasn't really the sort of story you'd tell to someone who had just lost their mother. But she didn't want to intervene. Maybe it would get through to the boy.

"I know it hurts like hell. Nothing I can say can change that or make it better. But I honestly believe your father did the right thing. It fucking sucks that we couldn't have cured her," she said, forgetting her soldier's mouth, "It really does. But no one is telling you how you should be feeling. Come up top when you're ready. Hey, the old man is about to attempt some fishing, so if you feel like you could use a laugh…"

Nick smiled and looked back to his mother, but she had gone. He paused and considered waiting for Lumen to come out, but decided to go back on deck to enjoy the sunshine. She didn't need to know they'd been listening in. It was a personal moment. He didn't want to take that from her.

* * *

She found him on the landing at the back of the boat, laying in the sun, smoking a cigarette, using his shirt as a makeshift hat.

"Hey," he greeted. "Come join me. The sun's nice. Think of it as the holiday you never got to take."

She smiled.

"Are shirts optional?"

"Obviously."

She chuckled and sat down, pulling off her shoes. She pulled up the cuffs of her pants and dangled her feet in the water.

"So, how much respect have you lost for me?"

Shielding his eyes from the sun, he turned his head to look at her, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth. She stared down at her feet, looking troubled.

"What are you talking about?"

"We left those people to die."

"I know. But I get where Strand is coming from. I get where you're coming from. You're just looking out for us. You'd know better than we would."

"Doesn't make it right."

He gave her a small, sympathetic smile.

"Doesn't make you a bad person, either," he said, thinking of her conversation with Chris. He thought of Strand's joke about her lack of emotions. He didn't think he'd ever met someone with such deep-seated issues, and that included all the junkies he'd ever crossed paths with. That included himself.

"I've killed a lot of people, Nick."

He pushed himself up and sat beside her, dangling his feet next to hers. He was silent for a long time, trying to come up with the right thing to say. Finally, he stubbed out his cigarette.

"Everything you did back there, back on the land? Leave it there. Forget about it. It can stay there with all of my empty needles."

She seemed heartened by this, Nick's sunshine driving away her clouds.

"Fuck it."

She got to her feet and left him for a moment, returning in just her black t-shirt and a pair of shorts borrowed from Alicia. She gathered her uniform into her arms – her military-issued pants and personalized embroidered jacket – then threw them into the water. She hesitated, hand hovering near her throat, then she ripped off her dog tags and tossed them away. Together, they watched the small silver glint sink slowly into the deep.

* * *

 **A/N: I thought I'd put this at the end so as not to disrupt the story flow. Thank you to everyone who has liked, followed and reviewed. I originally started this as a story for myself, with no intention of ever posting it, but I like sharing my work with others and getting the feedback. These first four chapters were originally two very long chapters that I broke down for the sake of readability. In saying that, this chapter is the last of what I had written, so I may be a little slower to post new content.**

 **A little note on Lumen's character – I realize that the military involved in the series was the California National Guard, not US Army, but I have written her as US Marine that was called in to help with the growing threat as the infection got out of hand.**

 **Also a little note on my mention of underage interactions – when I first began this story, the concept I had in mind was either Chris or Nick having a relationship with an older woman. I didn't realize at the time that Nick is only 19 and Chris, 16. I actually thought Nick was in his 20s and Chris was at least 17 (which I know is the legal age of consent in most US states). I'm considering aging up Chris for the sake of story, as I have my reservations about writing a story involving interactions with a minor. Lumen is only around 28 in the story, and since the teens are on the older side, I feel it might be okay. Let me know your thoughts.**

 **Thanks for reading. Xx**


	5. Chapter 5 - Strike One

**Chapter Five: Strike One**

The sun beat down on the idle soldiers, the neighborhood around them eerily silent. The streets were lined with the bodies of those infected who had once occupied the surrounding houses. It was two days since they had last received orders – two days since their last contact with hostiles. All they could do now was hold the line and wait.

Lounging shirtless on the hood of the jeep, stolen Ray-Bans shielding his eyes from the harsh light, Private Wilson flicked cigarette ash at the driver, who sat fiddling with the radio.

"Fuck off," Private Andrews said, brushing the embers off his pants. He fed a CD into the player and grinned as heavy metal began to play, drumming a beat on top of the steering wheel.

Restless, Wilson sat up and looked over at their sergeant, who stood a ways off behind the vehicles, rifle in hand, scanning the surrounding area.

"Hey, Chief! When exactly did the lieutenant say he was getting back?" he called to her above the music.

"Why, you miss him, Wilson?"

Lying in the back seat of the car behind her, cap shielding his face from the sun, Private Ramirez snorted. Melvin Allen was not well liked in the ranks, particularly since the rumor had spread that he had shot one of his own men to distract a horde of infected after they had found themselves backed into a corner. Those who had met the man knew that the story was likely untrue, but they had also seen enough desperation in these times for there to be a slight chance otherwise. It was that small window of doubt that had turned most of his platoon against him.

"How much longer are we gonna stand around here jerking ourselves off? What the hell are we doing out here?" Wilson asked.

His sergeant threw him a look and turned as she heard a car approaching.

"Finally," he said, sliding down and pulling his shirt back over his head. He tossed his cigarette on the ground, stamping it out with his toe.

"What are we doing out here, Attebury?" the lieutenant asked her as he stepped out of the vehicle.

"I was hoping you'd know the answer to that, sir."

"Teams in the inner city are pushing forward," he said, looking down the street at the lines of scattered corpses, "Most surrounding suburbs are being reported clear, evacuated or under quarantine. Things seem to be under control."

"So we're going home, right?" Wilson joked.

"Hey, Andrews!" the lieutenant called out to the soldier still in the car, "Do you mind turning that shit off?"

Failing to hear his commanding officer's arrival, Andrews scrambled for the volume control.

"Clean-up's on its way," the lieutenant continued, nodding towards the fly-covered carcasses. "Won't be long now."

Corporal Schultz approached them now carrying his radio, face tense as he attempted to make out what was coming through. He gestured for them to listen, fiddling with the dial until the voice could be made out.

"… _.civilians reported strange lights coming from one of the windows. Probably nothing._ "

"Strange lights," Wilson scoffed, "Now they've got us chasing fucking UFOs?"

Both the lieutenant and his sergeant threw him a look that shut him up.

" _That area was cleared days ago_ ," a second voice answered over the receiver.

" _Probably nothing, but might be worth checking out. Alpha team?_ "

" _That's a negative. We're, uh, we're pinned down out here. Over._ "

" _I think Echo team was out in that neighborhood. Over._ "

" _Echo team, come in. Echo team, do you read?_ "

Silence.

" _Does anyone have a read on Echo team? Over._ "

" _They were clearing out a library._ "

" _Copy that. Jesus. We need an extraction team to locate Echo._ "

" _This is Delta team. We've got their backs. Over._ "

" _Rodger that, Delta team. Over and out._ "

Attebury turned back to the lieutenant and found him looking thoughtful. He picked up the radio, paused, and then pushed to transmit.

"This is Lieutenant Allen, send through the coordinates for those lights. I've got Bravo team on standby."

Wilson turned away, hands behind his head, muttering curses as they prepared to be sent on another crap job.

"You got a problem, soldier?" Melvin asked, waiting for the smart-ass remark.

"There's nothing out there, sir. We cleared it already."

"Did you have something better to do? Working on your tan some more? I'll give you five minutes to get your shit together, then we're moving out."

The sergeant stood by Corporal Schultz as the co-ordinates came through, watching him write them down on his little reference pad. He looked up at his long-time friend as he tucked his pencil and pad back into his front pocket.

"What do you think?" he asked her, when the lieutenant was out of earshot.

"I think I'm glad to finally be getting the hell out of here. I'd almost gotten used to the smell of bloated corpses."

They climbed into the jeep, Andrews at the wheel, and directed him to their next destination.

* * *

"What do you see?"

The sun was beginning to set as they reached the neighborhood, stationing themselves a few streets below the suspect house. Wilson, abandoning his designer sunglasses for more task-appropriate binoculars, sat back down in the front passenger seat.

"Reflection, maybe. Mirror catching the sun at the right angle? I don't think it'll be worth the trip."

"You're not even the least bit curious?" Attebury asked, the corner of her mouth turned up in a playful smirk.

"You know what they say about curiosity, Chief."

"Alright, Andrews, shut off the engine. We'll leg it from here."

Exiting the car, she turned to the lieutenant and signaled. He nodded and prepared to follow. It wasn't often he joined them on field missions, but ever since one of their men had gone rogue during a particularly difficult situation during their first neighborhood clean-up, he had taken it upon himself to help keep the men in line. Sergeant Attebury didn't take it as an insult, as many other officers likely would have; she was actually interested to see how the lieutenant responded when placed in similar circumstances. Each mission seemed to call for harder and harder decisions, and every difficult choice that arose seemed to tell her something new about the men she was working with. She had been serving alongside Corporal Schultz since basic training. They weren't exactly close, but held each other in high regard, often relying on the other for assistance when required. They were always on the same page, an important quality between a sergeant and their second-in-command.

The house in question was a large double-story, modern-looking building perched atop a hill. It overlooked the entire neighborhood, offering sweeping views of the surrounding area that they had cleared days earlier. They climbed the hill, weapons ready in case of a run-in with any infected, and surrounded the front door. The yard was empty, save for the 'For Sale' sign out the front on the carefully manicured lawn.

The lieutenant gave a signal and Private Wilson kicked in the door, stepping back as three of his fellow soldiers ran in to clear the entryway. Sergeant Attebury followed them inside, checking the adjoining room. Nothing. Silence.

The soldiers glanced at each other and then froze, listening. Floorboards creaked overhead. Signaling for Ramirez and one of the others to continue clearing the ground floor, Attebury motioned to Wilson, Andrews and Schultz to follow her up, leaving the lieutenant to make his own call. He followed behind them.

The first four rooms were empty, devoid even of furniture, as the owners had left their property vacant before the breakout. The final room was at the end of the hall, door cracked, but no sounds issuing from within. Knowing from its position in the house that this was the room with the lights, they paused outside the door and waited, silent. Bursting in, they found…no one. It was empty, like the rest, except for the telltale signs of occupancy that lay abandoned on the ground; a blanket, a bottle of water, a half-eaten can of beans and a handheld mirror, the glass catching the reflection of their flashlights.

They exchanged glances.

"Whoever's in here, show yourself!" Andrews shouted.

They waited and heard a creak from the walk-in wardrobe.

The lieutenant nodded to Attebury, who approached the sliding door with caution, gun raised. Steadying her weapon in one hand, she slid the door back.

An overweight man came stumbling out, sweating in fear as he dropped to his knees, arms raised.

"Please don't shoot, don't shoot!" he begged.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" Wilson shouted, weapon aimed.

"Please!"

"Sir," Attebury stepped in, "Hands on your head. Now!"

He obeyed immediately, terrified.

"What are you doing up here?" she asked, "This a military quarantined zone. You should not be here. Do you understand?"

He nodded.

"My…my daughter. They took her mother. I thought they were going to take her too."

Attebury exchanged a look with the lieutenant.

"Your daughter?"

"She's here. Please, don't hurt her. She's only five. Please!"

"Sir, where is your daughter?" Attebury tried as he began to sob.

"She's all I've got left."

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and they turned to see the others rejoining them.

"Ground floor's all clear," they announced.

Attebury looked confused, turning back to the man.

"No, she's here."

"Who's he talking about?" asked Ramirez.

"He says his daughter's here. But we just cleared this floor, too. Sir? We didn't find anyone else."

"No, no, no, she's here. Please!"

The lieutenant nodded to Attebury and they stepped aside.

"I've seen this before," he told her, "We found a man who had lost his whole family. He was in shock, refused to believe it. Kept claiming they were still alive. I saw the bodies myself. Another had been keeping his infected wife locked up in the garage but she got out without him realizing."

"You think his daughter's dead?"

"If not dead, then infected."

She considered this.

"We'll sweep the house one last time, send a couple of men outside to check the surrounding area-"

"Orders were to find the source of the flashing lights. We've done that."

"Sir?"

"And what if we find the girl, Attebury? You know what needs to be done here. Do you really want to have to do that to a child?"

She pinched the bridge of her nose, realizing he was right. He wasn't the first civilian on the run they had come across during their sweeps. But they hadn't brought back any with them, either. There was too much risk of infection outside of the quarantined zones.

As they rejoined the others, her men looked to her for orders.

"Schultz, radio in. Tell them we found the source the lights. And…that it's been taken care of."

He stared at her for a moment, hesitating before he did as he was asked.

"Are we lookin' for this kid or what?" Wilson asked.

She glanced at him, but ignored the question, drawing her sidearm. As she raised it to aim at the man knelt before them, she heard the radio crackle to life.

" _Bravo team, bravo team, this is Control. Do you copy? Over._ "

"Control, this is Bravo," Schultz replied, frowning, "We read you. Over."

" _We've got a large number of hostiles moving towards your six_. _Recommend immediate withdrawal. Sending back-up. Over"_

"Where the fuck did they come from? This area is supposed to be clear," Attebury said.

"Just how thorough was your team?" the lieutenant asked, his accusation drawing dark looks from the surrounding men.

Schultz glanced from his sergeant to the gun in her hand, then to the civilian.

"Control, what's our window? Over."

" _Bravo team…I'd get out of there. Over and out."_

"Fuck." Attebury stared down at the man she was about to execute. She had wanted some more time to argue it out with the lieutenant, maybe throw in a quick sweep for the girl just in case they had missed something. But she knew how fast the infected could move, especially in numbers. They heard movement downstairs. The civilian turned his head towards the sound, spotting Attebury's gun for the first time. He screamed.

There was a brief moment of silence, as Attebury whipped him across the face with the butt of her pistol to shut him up, then they heard the growls. Andrews, closest to the door, readied his weapon and jogged to the staircase to check. He was back within seconds, face pale.

"We need to go."

The growls grew louder, punctuated by an occasional wail, the sheer level of noise indicating the number in the horde. They were outnumbered. They would never be able to hold the line in this confined space.

"Attebury!" the lieutenant called, bringing her attention back to the matter at hand.

"Please, please don't!" the man in front of her begged, tears streaming down his red, meaty face.

Andrews ran to the window and began tugging at it, trying to get it open for their escape, but it wouldn't budge. He was joined by Wilson, who motioned to the latch at the top, flicking it open as he threw a sarcastic look at his friend. The window slid up with little effort.

Attebury spotted the first of the infected pushing their way up the staircase. There was no time. She jumped as a shot rang out, and the man before her began to scream, clutching at his knee. She stared at the lieutenant as he took out the man's other knee.

"What are you doing?"

"Buying us some time."

All the rumors about him sprang to mind again. Behind her, the other soldiers secured a rope and began to scale down the wall to the safety of the yard below. She watched them – Wilson keeping the line secure, Schultz urging her to get a move on – as the lieutenant disappeared out the window. She turned back just in time to see the infected surround the civilian. His screams turned to shrieks of pain as they ripped into him. Heart pounding, Attebury raised her sidearm and shot him through the head. She ran to the window, grabbed the line and began to make her descent, hearing gunfire above as Schultz held off the infected. She paused and stared up at the window, praying to see her men climb through it. Schultz came first and made an urgent gesture for her to hurry down. She let go near the bottom, falling the last few feet, rolling to break the fall. The other men helped her to her feet and turned back to watch Wilson finally appear. He paused at the top, tugging on the window to keep the infected inside, hands slippery with blood from the ones he had stabbed through the head. Losing his grip on the line, he fell.

He missed Shultz, who was still making his way down, and landed awkwardly on his leg as he hit the ground. His cry of pain pierced the silent neighborhood.

"Wilson!" Attebury called, dropping to the ground next to him. "Who's got the medpack?"

Taking out her knife, she sliced open his pants, where blood was beginning to bloom, and caught a glint of white amongst the mess of flesh.

"Shit."

Schultz dropped down behind them and a new scream sounded from above. It was the unmistakable scream of a child.

 _She's here. She's here. Please!_

The little girl. She had been hiding in there with them the whole time. Why hadn't they checked?

Red hot anger shot through her and Attebury turned to their lieutenant, who was staring up at the window.

"We need to go," she told him through gritted teeth.

"You heard them, they're sending back-up. We need to hold this line."

She glanced at Wilson, who was sweating profusely, complexion alarmingly pale. She shook her head.

"Wilson needs medical attention. We've done enough here."

"We're not done until the mission is over, soldier."

"You said it yourself, our mission was to find the source of the lights. We've done that-"

"And now we hold the line."

"Enough people have died here! Including a fucking five year-old! Was that part of the mission? Leaving a child to die?"

"You know how this works, Attebury."

She'd had enough. The lieutenant ducked as she took a swing at him. Her men grabbed her to pull her away, but he used her sudden vulnerability to his advantage. The soldiers stumbled back as he struck her in the face.

"I've had enough of your shit, Attebury."

Her men released her and she clutched her eye, beginning to feel it swell.

"Fuck you," she said, her voice barely a whisper.

"Consider this strike one. You'll be lucky if I don't get you for insubordination."

Attebury tried to still her thoughts, glancing back at Wilson who was being tended to by Schultz. The corporeal looked over at her. If they didn't get moving, he wasn't going to make it.

"Andrews," the sergeant began, eyes distant, "Give the lieutenant a hand with Wilson. Get him onto one of the trucks."

"Soldier!" the lieutenant began again, but she turned to him, expression fierce.

"Get him to the hospital. We'll hold the line."

* * *

Attebury stared down at the floor, jolting forward as the truck hit a pothole. Across from her, her remaining squad members avoided each other's gaze.

Delta team had joined them an hour or so after the lieutenant's departure, helping to push back the remaining infected. They had found what was left of the little girl over by the window, where she had attempted to make an escape before the infected had taken her. No one spoke about it and no one asked.

The horde, Delta team had later told them, was part of the one they'd come across at the library while attempting to extract Echo team. They had failed to find any survivors from Echo – any living ones, anyway – and assessing the situation, had pulled out, failing to realize they had drawn out the infected with them.

By the time they had put down the last of the hostiles, Attebury noticed Schultz struggling to stay on his feet. Pulling him aside, he had revealed a glistening bite mark on his arm. It hadn't taken long for him to turn. For him, her mercy had come too late.

"I wonder if Wilson made it," Ramirez commented absently.

* * *

It was quiet outside of the makeshift hospital. Soldiers patrolled the perimeter at a leisurely pace, unaware of the horrors that the rest were having to deal with on the other side of the fence. Attebury was just settling down with a much needed cup of coffee, when she spotted the lieutenant approaching. She sighed.

"Attebury. You've been reassigned," he informed her, glancing at her puffy black eye. "I've spoken with my superiors. Your squad is to remain here indefinitely."

"At the hospital?"

He nodded and her eyes narrowed. It sounded like punishment but he was almost doing them a favor. Better here than back out on the line.

"I made a point of expressing my admiration for your leadership in the field."

Her frown deepened.

"In exchange, I'd appreciate if you didn't mention any of my actions to the other soldiers."

 _You mean the way you shot a man in the kneecaps to use him as bait_ , she thought. But she was too tired to argue anymore. She gave a small, reluctant nod and he left her to finish her coffee in peace.

* * *

"He's stable," the nurse notified them.

"Hold him down!"

Wilson strained against his sergeant as the doctor resumed sawing, his screams echoing off the basement walls. They had rushed him downstairs so as not to disturb the other patients. There was a shortage of anesthetic, they had been told, and the next shipment of supplies wouldn't arrive for another week. With infection beginning to set in to the exposed bone, Wilson didn't have that kind of time.

"Almost there," the doctor said.

The saw continued its stomach-churning rasp as it slid through the man's tibia, quietening as it slipped into the remaining flesh.

"It's off."

She pulled the foot away and got to work closing up the stump, but Wilson began convulsing.

"He's going into shock."

Attebury watched the doctor inject him with something, then they waited. His movements stopped suddenly.

"Come on," the doctor muttered, face devoid of emotion. Then she shook her head. "It's no use. He's gone."

Attebury squeezed her eyes shut as the doctor strode away, and felt someone step up beside her. It was the nurse.

"I'm sorry for your loss," Liza said to her, as she drew a sheet over him, a well-practiced look of empathy on her face.

The doctor reappeared carrying a bolt pistol and cylinder. Twisting the knob, she pressed the pistol to Wilson's head and fired. Red bloomed through the crisp white of the bedsheet.

Lumen stood at the sink, washing Wilson's blood off her hands, as her vision began to blur with tears. Chest tight, she stumbled outside and collapsed against the wall, knees drawn to her chest. She stared up at the pink and orange sky. She hadn't seen anything that beautiful in a long time – it seemed so out of place. Then she noticed the piles of ash and human remains and began to sob.

* * *

She broke the news of Wilson's death to Andrews and Ramirez, but they had simply nodded, faces drawn as if it was something they had expected.

Making her way towards the pens for her first night on duty, heart and mind heavy, she heard a commotion towards the back of the room.

"Hey! Hey! One of you want to get in here before this kid dies?"

She found a handsome dark-skinned man leaning up against the fence. He stepped back as he spotted her, revealing the young man convulsing on the floor, foam pouring from his mouth.

"Shit."

She fumbled with her keys and unlocked the gate, ordering one of the other soldiers to make sure the other occupants stayed put. Rolling the kid onto his side, she reached into his mouth with two fingers and scooped out the vomit that was blocking his airways. He gasped as his lungs filled with air, and continued to shake in her arms. Keeping him on his side, she waited for the fit to be over.

"Come on, kid. Stay with us."

The man watched from the over by the gate.

Suddenly the boy went still. His chest rose steadily as his breathing returned to normal. Wiping the vomit from her fingers onto her pants, she picked him up, not surprised to find him light, making a guess at what had sent him into the convulsions, and set him down onto one of the beds, keeping him on his side in case he threw up again.

"He'll probably be out for a while," she told the other occupant.

"You're not going to notify the doctor?"

"I don't think it's worth the concern. Kid's obviously going through withdrawal. He's not infected."

"You seem familiar with this kind of thing."

Ignoring the comment, she turned back towards the gate and the man spoke again.

"The name's Strand, by the way. Victor Strand."


	6. Chapter 6: Vermillion Pt 2

**Chapter 6 – Vermillion Pt. 2**

Lumen stared down at Liza's pale, still face. The mood aboard the Abigail was somber as Travis gave a eulogy dedicated to his late ex-wife, with all but Strand looking on. Lumen had approached the captain with an invitation to join the proceedings, but he had refused, choosing instead to remain up top staring into the radar screen, as though expecting trouble at any moment. Considering he hadn't slept since they had escaped the compound, she wondered if paranoia was starting to set in.

From her position on the steps behind Nick, Lumen glanced over at Chris. He had made an appearance not long after their talk, taking her advice and joining Daniel as he fished for their dinner. He now stood the furthest away from them, a distant look on his face. Sensing her gaze, he looked up. There was a darkness to his expression that she found intriguing.

"The best thing we ever did together," Travis continued, "Was our son, Chris, whom she loved more than anything."

Hearing his name, Chris broke from Lumen's gaze and looked over at his dad, tears welling in his eyes at the sentiment. He looked away, angry to have every passenger bear witness to his personal grief, then made to approach the table where his mother lay.

Travis gave his son an encouraging smile, expecting him to take over and say a few words himself. Instead, Chris stepped up, grabbed the table and upended it, sending his mother plummeting into the cold water below. He stalked away before anyone could say anything. For a moment no one moved, stunned by the brash behavior, then Travis managed to collect himself and ran after him. Madison glanced over the rail, watching the white shape disappear into the deep.

"Dinner should almost be ready," Daniel said, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"I'll come help," Ofelia offered from beside him, still pale from her wound. Her brow creased and she rubbed at the bandage as a dull pain began to set in again. She tugged at the blanket she had draped around her shoulders.

"No, you rest, honey," he replied, placing a gentle hand on her arm and kissing her on the forehead. She managed a small smile of appreciation.

"I'll help," Madison said, turning away from the water, "It'll give Travis some space."

As they made their way back inside, Nick staying back to pack away the table, Lumen noticed Alicia hurry off towards the bunks. She turned to the others.

"Anyone want a drink?" she asked, gesturing to the well-stocked bar.

"Yeah, I'll take a scotch," Madison replied.

Daniel exchanged a look with her, but Madison frowned. Considering the soldier's attitude towards Strand and her numerous efforts to keep them safe, she thought they were a little past all the suspicion.

"Make it two," Daniel said, after a moment.

Lumen looked over at Ofelia, but the young woman shook her head, still rubbing gingerly at her wounded shoulder.

"I don't think I'm supposed to drink with the medication," she explained softly.

"How are you feeling, anyway?" Lumen asked her, as Ofelia took a seat.

"It still hurts. But it's healing. Liza did a good job." Her gaze drifted outside as she thought of the nurse.

"Yeah. I've taken a bullet before. I know the feeling."

Lumen pulled up the sleeve on her t-shirt, revealing the least significant of her scars.

"Though I was a little more fortunate. Mine just grazed me."

She poured out four drinks, wondering if Nick would want one too, before recalling how sick he had been over the past few days. After taking two of the glasses to Madison and Daniel in the kitchen, she returned to the bar with a pile of plates and cutlery to begin setting the table.

Nick returned from outside, smelling of cigarettes, sweat and seawater, and grabbed the cutlery, laying it out next to the plates as she placed them down. They exchanged smiles, then she scrunched up her nose.

"You need a shower, man," she chuckled.

He pulled his shirt up to his nose and sniffed.

"I will," he assured her, "After dinner."

"Assuming the smell doesn't put people off their food."

"Hey, we didn't all think to shower back there. Most of us were more concerned about being in a stranger's house. And the napalm."

"Well, at least no one walked in on you naked," she said, frowning at the awkward recollection.

"What? Who walked in on you?"

"Chris."

"Really?" Nick laughed.

"Yeah. Poor kid. I don't think he'll ever look me in the eye again."

"Sure it was an accident?"

"Are you calling your step-brother a pervert?"

Ofelia frowned as she listened to the banter from her fellow survivors, and glanced up as her father re-entered the room.

"Food needs a little more time," he announced, moving towards the bar for a refill. Wiping her hands on her jeans, Madison watched her son place the last of the knives and forks on the table. She smiled as it brought back memories of when he was little; when he and Alicia used to fight over the right way to set them. He usually got it backwards, but Alicia was never far behind to correct his mistakes. Their father had always found it funny to watch them bicker. The small, thoughtful smile dropped from her face as Travis returned. He was silent, making a beeline for the door.

"Travis?" she called.

He hesitated then turned to her, revealing a bloodied lip.

"Went that well, huh?"

"Oh yeah," he replied bitterly, as she approached him, running her thumb tenderly across his bruise, "Great."

Lumen watched them from the bar, turning as she heard Strand coming down the stairs. She held out the fourth glass and he took it with a grateful, if not mildly-suspicious nod. She watched him take a sip, hoping one or two glasses would be enough to finally send him off to much-needed sleep.

"Wait, if you're here, then who's watching the radar?" she joked, with mock-concern.

He threw her the usual look, though with his exhaustion it had lost some of its usual edge.

Plonking down on the couch between Nick and Ofelia, she watched the recovering addict pluck an unusual-looking nautical instrument from the shelf and begin spinning it around as he watched his mother and her boyfriend talk. Alicia appeared from below deck looking distressed. She glanced at the captain, but slipped past him, heading for someone she knew would be a little more sympathetic to her cause.

"Travis, there's people who need our help. Their boat is sinking," she began.

"Who-"

"There's only three of them," she went on, hoping to get a word in before anyone could object, "Jack, his brother and his brother's wife. We can manage that."

"Who the hell is Jack?" Strand asked, expression darkening as she remained silent. "You gonna make me ask twice?"

Alicia turned to him, looking incredibly guilty, and replied, "He's on a fishing boat near here. It's sinking."

"You talked to him?"

Lumen recalled the radio chatter she had heard coming from Alicia's cabin earlier.

"Yes, I talked to him," Alicia admitted, failing to see why it was such a big deal.

"Did you tell him anything about us?"

"Nothing important."

"What didn't you tell him, Alicia?" Strand asked, beginning to raise his voice.

Her face reddened as she fumbled for an answer.

"Calm down," Travis said, though his words had little weight to them, the day's events draining him of what little fight he had left.

"This isn't a game!"

"Back off."

"What are you going to do, Travis? You feeling strong?"

"Oh, please," Lumen cut in, standing, "If we're all done measuring our dicks here, how about getting back to the matter at hand? Alicia, did you give them any indication of where to find us?"

Momentarily thrown by the soldier's crude language, she finally replied:

"How can they find us if their boat's sinking?"

Lumen threw her a look, trying to be as gentle as possible, and Alicia was struck with realization.

"You don't think…"

"Let me remind everyone of the rules of the boat," Strand interrupted, "Rule number one: it's my boat. Rule number two: it's my boat. And if there remains any confusion in regards to rules one and two, then might I offer you rule number three. It's my goddamn boat. Remember, if it weren't for me, you'd all be burned. You're welcome."

He glanced briefly at Nick and Lumen, as though they had somehow allowed this to happen, before retreating back up to the captain's deck.

Placing the strange instrument back on the shelf, Nick moved to follow him, glancing back at Lumen as he reached the staircase. Sighing, she threw back the remainder of her drink, holding back a grimace as it burned her throat on the way down. She looked back at Alicia.

"Don't believe everything someone tells you over the radio. Don't they teach you kids about 'stranger danger' anymore?"

Alicia scowled at the soldier, loath to be treated like a child.

"Why do you have the radio, anyway?" Madison asked, sitting down beside her.

Leaving them to talk, Lumen climbed the stairs, catching Nick's gaze from the top.

"I'm tired," Strand told them, sensing another argument brewing.

"So sleep," Lumen said as she stepped into the cabin, "They're not going to throw you overboard…Well, they might. But I'll try my best to stop them."

He chuckled and took another sip of scotch.

"Alicia's just trying to help," Nick explained, as Lumen passed him. She walked over to the window, staring out at the water. There was nothing else around them for miles, no suspicious-looking shapes on the horizon.

"She made a mistake. The kind of mistake we can't afford," Strand countered, "Everybody on board needs to contribute, or if not contribute then at least not compromise."

Nick frowned.

"And how do I contribute? Why am I here?"

Lumen turned back to him, offering an encouraging smile. Though still confused, he found it difficult not to smile back, glad she had his back.

"You mean here on this boat, or here existentially?" Strand asked.

"Either." He took a seat, hands in jacket pockets as he glanced from one to the other.

Strand took a seat across from him.

"When you were an addict, how many times could you have died?"

Nick stared, eyes narrowed.

"Every time I used," he replied.

"And were you afraid?"

"No."

"That's fearlessness. That's focus."

Nick shook his head.

"That's just being an addict."

"You know what fearlessness looks like in this world? Take Lumen here. She essentially volunteered to sacrifice herself for her country. Every mission, every followed order, could have been her last. But I haven't seen her hesitate once since we've met her."

"It helps when you know desertion can be punishable by execution," she quipped, taking a seat beside Nick.

"Yeah, and how many times has that nearly gotten her killed? That's not fearlessness, it's selflessness," he replied, remembering back at the beach, when he had basically had to drag her to the raft.

"It's not about being a martyr. My point is that that is the sort of fearlessness that will keep you alive in this world now. A moment of hesitation can be the difference between living and being torn to pieces by the infected hordes. Fearlessness adds value, Nicholas."

"Don't call me that."

Strand smiled, sensing a new weakness.

"Your father named you that?" he guessed.

"Yeah. It's what he called me."

Lumen threw Strand a warning look as he laughed and moved back over to the console.

"You joining us for dinner?" she asked their captain, leaning closer to Nick, sensing his sudden shift in mood.

"No. Someone should keep an eye on things up here. Who knows what kind of trouble Alicia's gotten us into?"

"Come on, kid," Lumen said, giving Nick an affectionate nudge with her shoulder, "Let's see what the old man's got in store for us."

Leaving Strand to his paranoia, they were hit by the appetizing smell of hot food wafting up the stairs as they made their descent. But Lumen was not prepared for what sat in the middle of the table.

"What is that?" Alicia asked, voicing her thoughts for her.

"Eel," Daniel replied, accepting a fresh glass of scotch from Travis.

"She's got dibs on the head," Nick joked, and she scoffed, shoving her brother playfully.

"Refill?" Travis asked Lumen. A little surprised, she nodded.

"How's Chris?" she asked, as she stepped up to the bar.

"He needs some time."

"Not joining us?"

"I doubt it."

* * *

Chris sat on the large bed in the cabin he had claimed as his own, where less than an hour before, his mother had lain in peace. He stared at the empty space on the bed next to him. How was it that only days ago life had been so normal? He had been sitting in his kitchen, arguing with his mom about going to his dad's for the weekend, finishing off the last of his homework before the usual day of school.

Now she was gone. And Travis had his new family to worry about.

He clenched his fist as anger shot through him, then glanced down, feeling an ache in his hand. Blood was smeared across his knuckles from where he'd hit his father. Staring at the red mess, he thought back to the carpark, watching Lumen beat the other soldier almost to death. He had been shocked to see such flagrant brutality, but every time he found himself in the soldier's presence, it wasn't fear he felt. Instead, he recalled the way her body had looked glistening and wet from the shower.

He closed his eyes. It was wrong to be thinking like this so soon after letting his mother go. There was a knock on his door. Looking up, he found himself hoping it would be the soldier again. Instead, Madison stepped in, offering a sympathetic smile.

* * *

Travis glanced up from behind the bar as Madison rejoined them. She put an arm around his shoulders and squeezed, exchanging a quick peck on the lips.

"He's alright," she assured him.

"Thanks."

It broke his heart to think he had lost his son's confidence so soon after letting Liza go, but having Madison's support made all the difference. If anyone was qualified to help Chris in a situation like this, it was her.

"Nick, can you see if you can find a carving knife?" she asked, approaching the dinner table. "I think there's a set in that drawer over there."

"Why don't we just use Lumen's?" he smiled.

"Yeah, just let me clean the blood off it first," the soldier replied.

Alicia wrinkled her nose at the thought. "Gross."

They all took a seat and began to tuck in to the feast, expressing their gratitude to the chef and his assistant. They were happily chatting away, avoiding any mention of death or infection, when Chris made an appearance. Hoodie pulled over his head, looking withdrawn even as he joined them, he continued on through the room, glancing briefly at the cozy little scene.

"Leave him," Madison said softly, as Nick moved to slide his chair back. He watched his step-brother wander outside, but did as he was asked.

Digging into her own plate, Lumen found the eel was actually quite tasty, not too different to fish. She was impressed with what Daniel had managed to create with little resources. Accepting another serve from Nick, she glanced out the window and frowned. Smoke was drifting across the water towards them. Rising from her seat, she excused herself and moved towards the staircase to speak with Strand.

"Here," Madison offered to Ofelia, "Try some, it's not bad."

Ofelia politely declined the offer when they all heard a splash from outside. Lumen spun around, hand resting on the rail.

"What was that?" Travis asked.

Nick was first on his feet, racing outside as he put it together.

"Chris!" he called.

Lumen glanced out the window again and saw more smoke drifting towards them. Daniel followed her gaze as the others began to follow Nick out onto the deck.

"What the hell is that?" he asked.

"Go get Strand," she said. "We might have trouble."

As she ran to join the others outside, Lumen heard a second splash, then Alicia calling Nick's name.

"What the hell are they doing?" Alicia said as the ex-soldier walked by her.

Without hesitation, Lumen dove into the water. As she came to the surface, she found the two boys staring at her, floating peacefully, perfectly fine.

"Uh, what exactly are we doing out here, boys?" she asked them, having assumed at least one of them was in distress.

"Swimming," Nick replied, amused by the reaction he received from her, but Chris just stared.

"You know you're supposed to wait at least half an hour after eating, right?" she joked.

"Think of it as the shower I needed."

"Are you okay?" Lumen asked, turning to Chris. He nodded, but didn't seem sure.

"The water's nice," Nick commented. As if to prove this, he dove under.

Lumen continued to stare at Chris, taking in his bruises on his face, thinking about the ones that didn't show on the surface.

"Just wanted to swim, huh?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Fully clothed?"

"Not all of us walk around naked."

The words slipped out before he could stop them and he blushed, managing a small, humble smile as she splashed him. The smoke continued to close in around them.

"We should head back. Something's not right."

"What do you mean?"

He turned and saw the encroaching fog.

"What is that?"

"Nothing good." They caught sight of the upturned boat, its side riddled with bullet holes.

"What the hell is that?"

Something was drifting towards them. It took her a second to make it out, but the unmistakable growl gave it away. "Go, now!"

She shoved him towards the boat as she reached under the water and drew her knife, stabbing the dead man through the head as he gnashed his teeth at her.

"Oh my god," Chris said. He hesitated, not wanting to leave her alone, then called to his father for help. With another look from Lumen assuring him she had the situation under control, he began to swim for the safety of the Abigail.

Up in the control room, the radar began to beep a steady alarm.

"What's that?" Daniel asked.

Strand glanced at him, heading for the stairs. "We've got company."

Lumen turned as she heard Nick call out, thinking he was in trouble. She spotted several more bodies floating around him. He was a lot further out now.

"Nick!"

"I hear someone!" he called back, gesturing to the overturned vessel as he dodged the floating dead.

"No! Nick, get back to the boat!"

He dove back under before she could finish.

Hearing a motor closing in, Lumen turned and saw Travis racing towards his son in the raft. He pulled him on board and glanced over at her. She was torn between following Nick and swimming to the raft, unsure which would be the faster option to get to him. Making her decision, she dove under.

Chris urged his father to follow her.

The water was surprisingly clear as Lumen moved through it. She glanced around, the salt burning her eyes, but saw no sign of Nick. Somewhere above, she could hear the steady hum of the motor. A shadow appeared over her, a human form. Gripping her knife, she swam towards it, grasping the trail of its long hair and stabbing it through the eye. Blood began to cloud her vision. She resurfaced, coughing as she wiped the gore from her face. She pushed away the corpse and felt a hand grab her shoulder. Spinning around, knife raised, she saw Chris leaning over the side of the raft. She let out a breath of relief and pushed her wet hair back from her face., pinching her nose as she began to feel it run. Chris reached out to her but she shook her head.

"I need to find Nick," she told him. Glancing over her shoulder, treading water, she scanned the wreckage for any sign of him.

"Come on!" Chris urged her.

Giving in, she took his hand and let him help her onto the raft.

"Did you see where he went?" Travis asked.

"Inside," she replied, running her hand back through her wet hair again, the blonde stained red with blood. The action attracted attention from Chris. Her wet t-shirt clung to her body, accentuating the curves beneath. He was momentarily distracted by the view, when Travis began calling Nick's name.

"We need to get them back here now," Strand told the others as he stepped out onto the deck. He spotted Lumen on the raft with Travis and his boy, but no sign of Nick.

"What's going on?" Madison asked.

"We've got company on its way. Could be nothing," he turned to Alicia, his expression accusatory, "Or it could be the ones that did that."

He jabbed a finger in the direction of the bullet-riddled wreck and her face fell. She didn't want to believe that the sweet-sounding guy who had kept her company for the better part of their journey, could have had a hand in such wanton destruction.

When Nick finally resurfaced, he found the raft waiting for him, each person on board looking concerned by his disappearing act. Lumen reached out for him, pulling him aboard with little effort, though rather roughly. She glanced at the plastic-encased logbook he had brought back with him.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she snapped, as Travis started up the motor again.

Nick's eyes widened a little at her anger.

"I thought I heard someone."

"And?"

"I wanted to help them."

She sighed and fell back against the side of the raft, brushing wet strands of hair off her face, staring out across the water. Nick glanced at Chris, who was watching the soldier's behavior. Feeling his gaze, Chris looked up. They fell silent. Guiding the raft back towards the Abigail, Travis glanced between the three of them. They were a sorry-looking bunch; soaked, sullen and tired. He would be glad for a decent night's sleep tonight. Assuming there wasn't any more trouble to come.

* * *

Lumen leant against the wall outside the bathroom. She had managed to wheedle more clothes out of Alicia, having soaked the shirt borrowed from Strand's house and the shorts Alicia had previously lent her. Realizing her underclothes were also soaked and in need of a proper wash, she had stripped down, this time remembering to grab a towel first before she went to discover the laundry facilities. While her clothes went through the wash, she waited for Nick to finish up in the shower.

Hearing a door creak open down the hall, she looked up and saw Chris approaching. The second he noticed her standing in nothing but a towel, he froze. Torn between turning around and looking nonchalant, he realized it was too late for the former without making it obvious. Lumen bit back a smirk.

"We have to stop meeting like this," she joked, regretting her words as soon as she said them, watching his face turn red.

"At least you have the towel this time," he replied. She chuckled and his expression brightened, happy to have made her laugh.

Catching sight of his own towel, she said, "You can go next, if you want."

He smiled at the gesture, the expression softening his features.

"No, it's okay."

They stood in awkward silence.

"How's your hand?" she asked.

He threw her a questioning look. She held up her own hands, revealing the scabbed mess of her knuckles and he frowned, recalling the events in the parking garage.

"You heard about my dad."

"Nah, but I saw. Looked like a decent punch."

He was quiet for a moment, thinking back to the little chat he'd had with Madison, then said, "You ever hit one of your parents?"

She thought about it then shook her head. "No, but I hit my brother once."

"Why?"

Before she could answer, the bathroom door opened, releasing steam and a much fresher looking Nick. He looked from the soldier to his stepbrother, feeling as though he was interrupting something.

"Shower's free," he announced, failing to catch Lumen's eye as she moved past him. "Hey."

He caught her by the arm, and she turned back, throwing him an impatient look.

"I'm sorry, okay."

"Weren't you the one having a go at me for being reckless?"

"I know. Now we're even."

"Asshole."

He grinned, forcing a smile from her. It was annoying how charming he could be without even trying. Chris watched their exchange silently.

"Hey, you okay?" Nick asked him, as Lumen shut the door behind her.

"Yeah," Chris assured him, his smile gone.

"There's probably some leftover food in the kitchen."

"I'm not hungry."

He turned back towards his cabin, avoiding Nick's gaze.

Nick paused, concerned, but knew sometimes it was better to be left alone. He glanced back at the bathroom door as the shower came to life, then wandered off to find his mother.

* * *

The threat of danger seemed to pass quickly, as the Abigail slowed to a more casual pace. After checking in with their captain for a status report, glad to hear they were in the clear for now, Lumen stepped outside into the cool evening air. She gazed off at the setting sun, feeling a rare sense of peace. She spotted the youngest member of the Clark family below, sitting by herself, deep in thought.

Alicia looked up as the soldier approached her.

"Thanks again for the clothes," Lumen said, leaning forward against the railing. The skinny jeans were a little snug against her well-muscled legs, but the simple, black hoodie provided a comfortable barrier against the night air.

"Sure. Though if you have to borrow some every time my brother does something stupid, it won't be long before I don't have any left for myself."

Lumen chuckled, turning back to the young woman, sensing a coldness towards her. The Clark kids had good genes, she thought, admiring the girl's doe eyes and full lips.

"So tell me about this Jack guy."

Alicia frowned and looked away.

"Did Strand send you to give me another lecture?"

"No. And even if he did, do you really think I do everything that guy says? Wait, do you guys think I follow his orders? Because I don't. I'm in the same position as any one of you."

"I thought you were like his bodyguard or something."

Lumen laughed.

"No. More of a strange bedfellows situation. Not literally of course," she added, catching Alicia's eyes narrow at the thought, "I don't think I'm his type."

"Did you have someone before all this?" she asked, after a moment.

The soldier took a seat across from her, hands in the front pocket of the hoodie.

"No. No one serious, anyway."

"I guess when you're away so often…"

"It wasn't that. There's plenty of soldiers married with families. I just never really met anyone. No one who'd put up with me, anyway," she chuckled. "You're, what, like eighteen?"

"Seventeen."

Lumen nodded as though that somehow held meaning to her. She noticed Alicia rubbing at something on her wrist.

"Nice tatt."

She glanced up, tugging her sleeve down to cover it. "Thanks."

"What is it?"

Her expression changed and she looked out across the water.

"Something my friend drew for me."

"Oh. Same friend you were asking about back at the house?"

She nodded. They were silent a moment, lost in thought.

"I'd say there's plenty more fish in the sea, but considering what Daniel caught…" The joke had no effect on the girl, who continued to avoid Lumen's gaze.

"I get why you talked to him. And why you want to help."

"Can't help everyone though, right?" There was a bitterness to her voice as she recalled the people they had left to die.

"No. Not everyone."

"You helped my brother. You helped Strand. You helped us. Why does that have to be where it ends?"

"Because the more people we let in, the greater chance there is of something going wrong. All it takes is one infected person."

"So we check them before they board."

"It's not about that."

Alicia frowned and finally looked over at her. "Then what?"

"There's nothing more dangerous than a scared, desperate human being. The strongest instinct we have is survival. Even someone who's infected will fight to stay alive for as long as they can. Say we check the people and one of them is infected. Then what? We shoot them? We tell them they can't come aboard? What if they have family with them? Do you think they'll be cool with abandoning their loved one just because we say so? Say we force them at gunpoint to leave the person behind. Now we have passengers on board with a grudge against us. Do you see where I'm going?"

Lumen almost regretted the little speech, seeing the depressing realization that came over the girl.

Silence hung over them once more, broken only by the occasion crash of water against the hull.

"This is it, isn't it?" Alicia finally asked, voice soft and distant.

"Yeah," Lumen replied, turning to gaze at the setting sun, "Sucks, huh?"


	7. Chapter 7: Problem Child

**Chapter Seven: Problem Child**

Madison stepped outside into the cool air, sliding the door closed behind her. She tugged her jacket closer around her as a breeze blew through. The night was still, with nothing but the soothing sound of the surrounding water. She closed her eyes and listened. It was nice to finally get a moment to herself after the chaos of the last few days.

Travis had finally fallen asleep after a hasty session of love-making that, as parents, they were almost used to by now. She had checked in on the kids on her way past, surprised to find them both asleep; Nick passed out on the bunk across from his sister's. She hadn't wanted to disturb Chris, but after watching his behavior at the funeral, she knew she would never forgive herself for leaving him to grieve alone. But when she tried his door, she found it locked.

Strolling out towards the landing, she spotted a figure leaning forward against the railing, their long hair whipping around in the wind. For a moment she thought Alicia had managed to sneak out past her, then she spotted the bottle of scotch in their hand. She considered turning back to find a more secluded space for herself, but curiosity got the better of her.

"Nice night," she commented, announcing her presence. Lumen turned, hastily wiping her face. She looked as though she had been caught in the act of something much worse than emotional expression. The older woman stepped up beside her.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to intrude."

"It's fine," Lumen replied, clearing her throat. The combination of scotch and tears had given her voice a raspy quality. She offered her the bottle. Madison looked down at it, paused, and then accepted, taking a swig before passing it back.

A curious smile appeared on Lumen's face as she watched. She couldn't help but imagine Madison in her youth; drinking and partying and sneaking out to concerts. She had the kind of down-to-earth attitude she wished her own mother had had. Instead, she'd been stuck with the passive-aggressive woman whose only real claim to motherhood was the fact she had passed a couple of kids through her vagina.

"I remember this moment," Madison said, smiling to herself.

The soldier glanced at her, brow creased.

"I had it myself back in the quarantine zone. That moment of breakdown. When everything starts to hit you all at once. Better to let it out," she added, sensing the soldier's embarrassment at being caught in a vulnerable moment.

A self-deprecating smile appeared on the soldier's face, as she rested her hands out over the water and swung the bottle of scotch by its neck. She took another swig.

"This…This isn't breakdown. I've had mine. This is just self-indulgent wallowing."

Madison chuckled and accepted the bottle once more.

"Strand's asleep," the soldier added.

"Finally."

"Yeah. I was beginning to think I'd have to spike his drink."

"Can't say I blame him for being paranoid, the way things are now. But you'd know that better than any of us."

Lumen shrugged, turning and leaning back against the rail as she took back the bottle and drank a larger mouthful than before. She held the bottle up to the light of the cabin, checking the contents, and noticed it was almost empty. She offered the last of it to Madison, but she shook her head and watched the soldier finish it off. The rocking of the boat was beginning to get to her head as the alcohol worked its way into her system. She needed to sleep.

"What did you do before all this?"

"High-school guidance counsellor," Madison replied.

"Ah. So you're used to dealing with angsty kids."

"Yeah. Even have a couple of my own."

Lumen chuckled.

"Is that how you met Travis, through the school?"

Madison nodded. "He taught there."

"What subject?"

"English."

"No shit? Romantic type, huh?"

"He's alright," she chuckled, "How long had you been in the military for?"

"I was a little older than Alicia when I signed up."

Madison's eyebrows quirked up. "Young. You must have seen a lot."

"Oh yeah. None of this is really new to me. Crisis, hierarchy, corruption, murder. Another day in the life of a soldier."

Though she picked up on the bitter sarcasm, Madison couldn't help but wonder how much of that was true. She had already witnessed the woman take another person's life without hesitation. Lumen and Strand were not the role models she would have picked for her son, but she hadn't seen him so focused in a long time. Maybe this is what it would take to finally get him better.

"Did you know Strand before all this?"

Lumen frowned.

"No. Why? Does it seem that way?"

"Not quite. I just get a sense of familiarity between you two sometimes."

"We have an understanding."

Madison nodded, but the answer had failed to quell her suspicions. There was something odd about the captain's relationship with the soldier; the way they bickered – they almost reminded her of her own kids. Though she wouldn't agree with Daniel's mistrust of Lumen, she shared his instinct towards the man who claimed to have saved their lives. He seemed the sort of person who liked having others in his back pocket, and she planned on repaying that debt at the first possible opportunity.

"You were right, what you said."

Broken from her thoughts, Madison looked up. Lumen was gazing out into the rolling darkness.

"About what?"

"My mercy quota. It's not great."

Her voice had softened as she fought to hold back any sign of weakness. She lifted the bottle to her lips, forgetting it was empty.

"The way I see it, you saved my son's life. You saved my family's lives. I'll always be grateful for that."

Lumen considered this, then stepped towards the stairs, tossing the bottle overboard. Her movements unbalanced, she grabbed hold of the railing to steady herself.

"You should go sleep that off," Madison recommended, sounding like a mother once more.

"Not before I go throw up a little," the soldier replied, most of her words eaten by the breeze that passed over them.

Madison watched her stagger up the staircase to the more inviting warmth of the cabin, a newfound understanding of the woman her son had attached himself to. Sensing a deeper empathy in her than the soldier let on, she began to feel less worried about the relationship growing between the two. Turning back to the water, she embraced the peaceful silence.

* * *

"Wait, wait. What do you mean it's gone?"

"Says right there in the logbook Nick found. The military burnt it. Same as LA."

"I thought you said San Diego was safe. I wouldn't take this as gospel."

"The last entry was yesterday. What is there to doubt?"

Though the voices were respectfully soft, Lumen was roused from her drunken slumber. Opening her eyes, she shielded them from the bright light pouring in from the surrounding windows. It took her a moment to recollect the events of the previous night. She remembered climbing the stairs up to the bridge to check the radar, and running to the captain's cabin to be sick in the ensuite. She couldn't recall if she had woken Strand in the process, but the unimpressed look he threw her as she sat up spoke for itself.

"I'm sorry, did we wake you?" he asked, voice mocking.

She groaned and leant forward, holding her head as a migraine began to set in.

"Did you leave anything in the bar?" he asked.

"Just enough to get us through the rest of the trip with you," she retorted. Looking around the room, she realized she had a larger audience than she had expected. Madison and Travis were watching from a table by the console, where they had been looking over a map. Daniel and Ofelia were seated nearby.

"What have I missed?"

"San Diego's gone," Madison informed her, raising the logbook that had given them this important piece of information.

Lumen glanced at Strand, then looked down at the ground, rubbing her head.

"You don't say."

"Did you know?" Daniel asked. She looked up at him. At least he had a right to be suspicious this time.

Madison was glancing between her and Strand, picking up an unspoken secret between the two.

"Did you?" Travis repeated.

"I could have guessed as much," she replied simply. "Why would LA be the only city to get hit?"

"Well, that leaves us with a bit of a problem," Travis interrupted, as though she had forgotten the obvious part of this. "Where do we go from here?"

Lumen looked to Strand again. "Any idea, Cap?"

He threw her a look.

"Look, is there something going on here that we should know about?" Travis asked, growing annoyed by their suspicious behavior.

The radar began to beep and Strand looked almost relieved. Saved by the bell.

"Damn it," he cursed, glancing at the screen and moving towards the console. Pushing a few buttons, he pressed on the throttle and they felt the boat begin to pick up speed. "Our friends are back."

"How nice of them to let us sleep," Lumen said. She couldn't decide what she wanted more; food, water or to throw-up.

A bottle of water appeared in her view, answering for her.

"Here. Drink it," Nick ordered, returning from the galley, sensing his friend's pending hangover. His mother had told him about their run-in the night before – leaving out the part where she had joined in the festivities.

"What?"

"You need to keep your fluids up." He tipped her a wink and she suddenly recalled their conversation back in the pens. Smiling to herself, she did as she was told.

"What are we doing?" he asked Strand, taking a seat next to her. She moved her legs to accommodate him. Strand took a seat behind the console, swiveling side to side thoughtfully.

"Well, we can't outrun them," he said.

"We can't run…But can we hide?" Lumen looked over at Travis, who turned his attention down to the map.

"We're going to hide?" Nick said, as though the move was cowardly.

"Only thing that could have put holes that size in a boat like that," Lumen began.

"Is a fifty-caliber machine gun," Daniel finished for her.

"Old man knows his stuff," Lumen commented, tipping her head in respect. She went on, "And unfortunately, we do not have the means to defend ourselves against a weapon that large. So, as much as I hate to admit defeat, yeah, we're going to have to hide."

"And we're sure it's following us?" Madison asked Strand.

"I have zigged and I have zagged. They have corrected their course each time. Not to mention this sudden reappearance. Luring us into a false sense of security, then attempting to catch us off guard."

"Fine. So where do we go?"

"We can lose them if we stick to the coast."

Travis continued to scan the map and tapped his index finger down on it as he spotted a possible refuge.

"Here. There's an island not far from here. A wildlife sanctuary. Should be enough to keep us off their radar. And there might be a ranger station there."

"Which will probably be abandoned," Strand reasoned, giving the map a onceover.

"Sure, but a ranger station's got to have a shortwave radio, supplies. We can gather information."

Strand chuckled at the thought. "Fine. Then Catrina Island it is."

Chris and Alicia appeared at the top of the staircase.

"What's going on?" Alicia asked, running her fingers back through her hair, looking as though she had only just woken up, "I felt the boat moving again."

"Seems our friends never stopped following us," Strand informed her, his gaze still accusing, though this time she managed to ignore it.

"There's a place not far from here," Madison told them a little more gently, "We're going to try to lay low there for a while."

"What place?"

"A wildlife refuge. Should be abandoned."

"Should be?" Chris asked, frowning at the idea.

"We're not going to know until we get there," Travis reasoned with him, "but it'll give us the chance to get away from whatever's out there."

* * *

It was dark as they made their approach to the island, the Abigail slipping silently through the tide towards the harbor.

"See anything?" Strand asked Madison, as she peered through a pair of binoculars.

She scanned the looming shape of land, trying to make out any sign of life. Just as she was about to give up, a light came on, illuminating a small house. The light continued to flicker on and off, almost like a signal.

"There!"

"Someone's home."

"What have we got?" Travis asked, coming up the stairs.

"Flashing lights," the captain replied, as though it were hardly cause for concern.

He glanced over at Lumen, but she was staring down at the floor with a disturbed expression.

 _Flashing lights…probably nothing…_

"What's the plan?" he asked, but she ignored him, heading for the stairs. Travis stared after her as she passed him, and looked back at the others. Strand took the binoculars from Madison as they continued their observation, unconcerned.

She made it to the landing and leant back against the wall, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly through pursed lips. A creak to her right brought her out of her thoughts. Chris sat on the opposite staircase, watching her.

"Hey," she greeted casually, closing her eyes and running her fingers back through her hair.

"Hey…" He looked at her, concerned.

"We'll be landing soon," she went on, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and forefinger, hoping to draw attention away from her odd behavior.

He got to his feet and glanced away. "It's a bad idea."

"What would you prefer? Try our luck back in LA?"

She looked over at him and he scowled, but the expression softened as he sighed and stepped down towards her.

"It doesn't matter. Nowhere we go is going to be safe."

"Apparently there's some, uh, lights...coming from the house there. We might not be alone."

He frowned at her and leant out over the railing, looking towards the island. He spotted the light flash a few more times before the island turned pitch black.

"I've seen lights like that before," he commented.

"Yeah?"

He glanced over, unsure how much to tell her.

"Back when we were quarantined. There was a house out in the infected zone. I think someone was hiding out there…"

Lumen looked up.

"Did you report it?" she asked.

"I think my dad said something to one of the soldiers. Why?"

A strange look had come over her as this sunk in. He stared at her, wondering what was going through her mind. He was about to ask if she was okay when they felt the boat slow then lurch to a stop. Daniel appeared from the cabin and moved to secure the mooring lines.

She broke from her daze and met the teenager's eyes, forcing a smile.

"Come on. Let's go see what this place has in store for us."

He watched her climb back up to the main deck. Feeling better with her by his side, he followed close behind.

"I'll stay," Strand announced, as they reached the others, who were preparing to disembark, "Keep an eye on things here. Make sure our friends keep their distance."

Daniel exchanged a look with Madison and Ofelia.

"Ofelia and I will keep you company", he decided.

Strand eyed the pair, hoping to change their minds.

"I'm fine with solitude."

"Yeah, I'm sure he's used to it," Lumen quipped as she hopped over the side of the boat and landed on the pier. She held her hand out to Chris to help steady him as he stepped out, but he shook his head, managing it on his own.

"We insist," Daniel pressed, ignoring the soldier's remark.

With a resigned nod, Strand turned back the bridge, leaving his passengers to make their journey onward.

* * *

With only flashlights to light their way, the group moved up the dock towards the shore, ears pricked for any sound of movement as they climbed a zig-zagging staircase up towards the house.

"Someone's home," Travis commented, spotting a soft glow emitting from inside the humble abode.

"They're not throwing any doors open," Madison replied as they stopped in the front yard.

Lumen glanced around, her sidearm out just in case of trouble. Beside her, hands thrust casually in his pockets, Nick waited patiently.

"Hello!" Travis began to shout.

"Hey," Lumen warned, throwing him a look, "Probably not a great idea. We have no idea what's lurking around."

"You seen any infected since we came ashore?" he asked her.

She cocked her head. He had a point. "How do we know these people are friendly?"

"Hello!"

"Travis, maybe she's right," Madison said.

"We know you're scared!" he continued, ignoring his girlfriend's advice. "We are too! Come on, we know you're in there!"

A door creaked to their right and Lumen raised her gun as a shape shot towards them. Nick grabbed her arm and she lowered her weapon, realizing it was just a kid.

"Harry! Harry! Get back here!"

They looked up. An older looking gentleman stood in the doorway, surveying them warily through his glasses. The little boy ran back to him and he grabbed his hand, keeping him safely by his side.

"Sorry," he apologized, "He's just excited to see people. It's been a while."

Lumen studied the man silently, evaluating the likelihood of him posing a threat to them. She glanced down at his son and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt for now, holstering her weapon.

"We just saw your light come on," Travis explained, "We were out on the water."

"That was a mistake," the man informed them, a little too quickly.

Travis and Madison exchanged a brief glance before Travis stepped forward and extended his hand, "Travis. Travis Manawa."

"George Geary," the man replied, accepting the handshake, still wary. He scanned the group as they appeared to relax. He seemed friendly enough. "What can I do for you, Travis?"

"We had to drop anchor. It's no safer on sea than on land."

"What makes you think it's any safer here?"

Lumen's hand crept back to rest on her pistol upon hearing unusual comment. Chris glanced over at her, noticing the movement, and she threw him an uncertain look. He tensed.

"We just need to get our bearings and we'll be gone," Travis assured him, "You have nothing to fear from us."

Looking over at Lumen, George spotted her weapon and turned back to Travis, who followed his gaze. He threw Lumen a disapproving look and she rolled her eyes, raising her hands as if to prove how harmless they were.

Satisfied that he could trust them not to cause any trouble, George gestured for them to follow him inside.

* * *

Lumen sat on an old, worn sofa, trying to ignore the little girl singing in the middle of the room. She stared down at the coffee table, focusing on the various stains and scratches scattered across the wooden surface. On the other side of the room, Nick sat with Harry as the little boy taught him how to play a video game on his portable console. Somewhere in the room, a clock ticked loudly.

"Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down." The little girl collapsed as she ended her rhyme, giggling to herself.

To Lumen's left, Alicia sat watching the girl, with a half-empty glass of red wine in her hand, her expression blank. After all they'd been through recently, this felt too…comfortable.

"What's a posie?" the little girl asked her. She broke from her trance.

"Posies are flowers," she replied, forcing a friendly smile for the child's benefit.

"Why did people put them in their pockets?"

Lumen shifted uncomfortably in her seat, attracting Chris's attention. He was seated furthermost from the group in a battered armchair, clutching his own glass of wine, expression heavy with dark thoughts.

"Um, well, a long time ago, across the ocean in Europe, there was a virus that made people really sick. And they didn't have the medicine that we do now, so they gave them flowers to make them healthy."

"Did it work?" the little girl asked.

Alicia's eyes grew distant again as she thought about the new plague. "No." She took a long sip of wine.

"Hi!"

Lumen jumped as the girl appeared in front of her with a big smile. She frowned, trying to avoid her gaze as she continued to stare down at the table.

"What's your name?" the girl asked.

"Why don't you go sing some more songs?" Lumen suggested coldly. Failing to notice on the grown up's attitude, the girl skipped away and began to recite another nursery rhyme.

"What the hell?"

Lumen turned and saw a handsome young man carrying a rifle staring at them from the doorway. The others turned to look at him.

"Mum?" he called.

Mrs. Geary appeared from the kitchen with Madison, who had been helping her prepare some snacks.

"This is my oldest, Seth," she introduced, as he eyed them all with suspicion. Lumen wasn't pleased that he was carrying a more powerful weapon than she was. She thought of the assault rifle she had left back on the ship. She hadn't thought she would need it on a supposedly abandoned island.

"This is Madison and her family," Mrs. Geary went on.

"You good, mum?" he checked.

"Yeah. We're just having a chat. Isn't it nice to have visitors?"

He didn't seem to think so.

"How are you?" she asked him with a smile.

"I'm good. Where's dad?"

"He's upstairs, having a chat with her husband."

He scanned the room, trying to sense any threat from these newcomers while she offered him a reassuring smile.

"Alright…I'll be back in a little while."

His mother leant forward to give him a peck on the forehead, bidding him goodbye as he backed away towards the door. After another quick glance around the room, he disappeared into the night.

"You sure you don't want something to drink?" Mrs. Geary asked Lumen, who had politely refused the wine after the previous night's experience.

"I'm fine, thanks."

Nodding with the courteous smile of a hostess, she disappeared back into the kitchen with Madison.

"Hey Nick, want to come see my room?" Harry asked excitedly, pulling his new friend towards the staircase.

"Sure," Nick replied, attempting to match the child's enthusiasm. He looked over at Lumen with wide eyes and she smiled. Glancing at his step-brother as Chris moved towards the front door, Nick noted his sour mood. "Hey, man, want to come check out Harry's room?"

"I'm fine," Chris answered.

"Look, you don't have to talk or anything, but it's better to be with people."

Lumen watched their exchange. There was such a stark contrast between the two boys; Nick with his bright smile and positive energy, Chris wallowing in his dark despair.

Nick turned to her and gestured with a small nod for her to come up with them, and she glanced back at Chris just in time to see him disappear through the door. She got to her feet and stretched.

"I think I'll take a walk," she told him, "Scout out the place."

"Okay, but you're missing out on some cool stuff. Right, Harry?"

"Right!" the little boy agreed, hurrying up the stairs towards his room.

Lumen and Nick exchanged one last smile before he was lost from view. She looked over at Alicia, who was deep in thought.

"I'm going to head out, Alicia."

"Huh?" She looked up.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I might head back soon. The wine's making me sleepy."

"Let me know if you want company."

"Sure."

Hoping Madison would return soon to check in on her daughter, Lumen followed Chris into the night.

* * *

 **I've officially written more for this story than I have for the Walking Dead story I posted almost five years ago! The muses are sticking by me. Quick shout out to the fabulous anr017 for being awesome and keeping me on track as I write.**

 **As always, I look forward to hearing any feedback, and thank-you for reading.**

 **Until next time xx**


	8. Chapter 8: Tongue-Tied

**Chapter Eight: Tongue-Tied**

It was a warm night outside, but had it been any colder Chris wouldn't have felt it. Numb, he walked towards the cliffs, the distant crash of the waves an inviting chaos that matched his own. As he neared the edge, he looked back and caught the small beam of a flashlight moving near one of the outbuildings. Frowning, he went to investigate.

Lumen was crouched in front of the door of the island's modest diner; the small establishment that had once catered for the visiting wildlife enthusiasts over the summer holiday season. Holding a small flashlight steady in her mouth, her brow was creased with concentration as she attempted to pick the lock.

"Are you breaking in?" Chris asked, looking around as if they were bound to be caught at any moment.

She glanced up at him, the crunch of gravel giving away his approach.

"You gonna nark on me?" she replied through a mouthful of metal, returning her attention to the lock.

He scowled as if the question was an attack on his character.

"No."

She took the flashlight from her mouth and held it out to him. "Then make yourself useful. Hold this steady."

Doing his best to ignore the wet marks her lips had left on the metal cylinder, he took it from her.

"Have you done this before?" he asked, shining the light over the lock. "Or is this like the hotwiring? Something you supposedly learned in the army?"

She glanced up at him again, the thinly-veiled accusation not lost on her.

"Although I'll admit it has come in handy on more than one occasion while I was out in the field, this particular skill I have to credit to my brother."

"You have a brother?"

"Had."

"Oh. Sorry."

She glanced up at him again, knowing his own grief was a lot fresher than hers. He watched her nimble fingers work the Swiss army knife attachment into the lock, jiggling it around in a process that looked more luck than skill.

"So…are we robbing them?"

She snorted, making him frown again.

"No. I just want to see if they're hiding anything. I don't steal…Well, except for this knife. I took it from the house. But I'll put it back. Probably."

With another twist, she gave the knife a whack and they heard an encouraging click. Pocketing the knife for its potential future return, Lumen pushed the door open and crept inside, ushering Chris in behind her. The moon outside cast a bluish light over the interior, lending depth to the surrounding shadows. Everything seemed in order; tables set with napkin dispensers and bottles of condiments, surfaces cleared except for the light layer of dust that had settled over them during the off-season. The shelves along the walls were decorated with an array of nature-related items: butterflies pinned inside wooden photo frames, their scientific names scrawled in neat cursive below them, native flower specimens pressed and displayed in a similar manner. On one table by the window sat a single vase, the tiny wildflowers within dried and wilted, fallen petals christening the table with their decay.

"What are we looking for–" Chris began, but Lumen held up her hand to quiet him and motioned for the flashlight. He rolled his eyes and passed it to her.

She shone the light across the countertop and out towards the kitchen, remembering the run-in back at the military compound; but the building was silent, no sign of people living or infected. She turned back to Chris, but he was moving off on his own to investigate a stand of postcards set beside the register.

"Hey," she called in a hoarse whisper, startling him, "Stay close."

He glanced over but ignored her request, picking one of the cards off the stand instead. She frowned, growing impatient with his excessive teenage rebellion, and approached him. He was staring down at the postcard, the glossy collage of wildlife, beaches and inviting woodlands a far cry from their experience so far.

"Alicia and I broke into a house once," he confessed offhandedly.

"I hope you kids used protection," Lumen said, casting the flashing beam over the framed photographs that decorated the wall. She stopped on one in the middle – a snapshot of the Geary's during a happier time. They stood together on the summit of a hill overlooking the island's wild landscape, the parents at the back with their arms around one another, and their three children grinning in front. Seth looked about a foot shorter and genuinely happy, a vast difference to the boy they had met earlier.

"What?" Chris had reddened at the suggestion, attempting to cover his embarrassment with outrage.

Lumen frowned, the contrast between the family photo and their current hosts a disturbing representation of the times. She turned back to him, hoping to shake the thought from her mind.

"It was a joke, dude. Look, one of us is going to have to start getting a better read on the other's sense of humor. And since I'm the one making all the jokes here…"

"It's not like that," Chris went on defensively, "She's my sister."

"Step-sister. Not as taboo as it used to be. I heard a story once where a guy divorced his wife so he could marry his step-daughter. Not to say I support that kind of thing," she said, grunting as she vaulted over the counter, landing smoothly on her feet. "But to each their own, you know?"

Chris approached the wooden flap that acted as a divider and lifted it, throwing the soldier a look for missing the much easier mode of access.

"And Alicia's a good-looking girl. I wouldn't blame you for–"

"Stop. Look, I already said it's not like that."

Lumen focused the light into the kitchen, scanning the interior but finding nothing suspicious aside from the smell coming from the refrigerator. Deciding to leave that for the Gearys to deal with, she turned back to Chris.

"All jokes aside, though, did you have a girl before all this?"

The question struck him as unusual, though he accredited that to his growing attraction to the soldier. He knew he was reading too much into her actions and her words, hoping to catch the slightest suggestion of mutual interest.

"Uh, I was seeing a girl back in Pomona, then my mom decided to move us back to LA."

"Come on, you telling me a good looking kid like you didn't pick up in the city?"

He glanced up at her, hoping to find her looking back, but she had already started heading back out, concentrating on the objects stored beneath the countertop. She was simply making conversation.

"I was more focused on my studies."

"What did you want to do?" she asked, referring to his intended career path.

"Get as far away from my parents as possible," he muttered, though that was only partly true – it was his father he could have done without ever seeing again.

"Looks like we have something in common."

He leaned back against the counter and watched her pull boxes out, sift through them, and then shove them back after finding nothing of interest.

"What was wrong with your parents?"

She paused for a moment, gaze lowered as she thought of the two people who had brought her into this world and spent the next eighteen years acting as though she was somehow at fault for it.

"You don't have to answer."

She stood up and shrugged, brushing herself off.

"Mom was a bitch, dad was an enabler. The army seemed like a good option. You know what they say: Join the army! Travel to exotic, distant lands. Meet new and unusual people. And kill them."

An image of her beating the other soldier unconscious in the parking lot flashed into his mind.

"Why would you want to get away from your folks?" she asked, "Your dad seems alright. You know, for an English teacher."

He gave a snort of derision and looked away.

"He's got his new family to worry about. If my mom was still here…"

An unexpected anguish swept over him as if he were realizing for the first time that he would never see her again; never have her there to comfort him and tell him how much he was loved.

Uncomfortable with most displays of emotion, Lumen reached out, paused, and then rested a hand on his shoulder in a half-assed attempt to comfort him. Without thinking, he reached up and took her hand in his, lacing their fingers together and giving an appreciative squeeze. They froze. Realizing what he had done, Chris made an awkward attempt to disentangle them, but Lumen left her hand where it was for a moment longer as she tried to figure out why she was having sudden feelings of affection towards him.

"Looks all clear in here," she announced, breaking the deafening silence and stepping away from him. "No shocking 'Stepford wife' secrets or hidden torture dungeons."

"Were you expecting to find that?" he asked, not feeling much in the mood for joking. That brief touch had sent a bolt of lust coursing through him, and he couldn't help but want more.

"There's something weird about these people," she went on, heading towards the exit. He stood for a moment watching her, eyes drifting from her long, blonde hair down to her shapely ass. He swallowed the lump in his throat and replied:

"Why do you think that?"

"It almost makes me feel better for leaving those people on the raft."

She glanced over at him but his thoughts had drifted.

"I feel like the faster people are to accept strangers into their home during times like these, the more likely they are to have a hidden motive."

"I guess," he replied, absent-minded.

"Alright, we better get out of here before that kid comes back and shoots us for trespassing. You heading back to the Abigail?"

He shook his head and started towards her. "I think I might take a walk."

"You going to be okay out there by yourself?"

She turned back to him as she pulled the door, holding it open for him as he passed through. He nodded, thrusting his hands into his pockets.

"Alright, but just in case…"

She held out the Swiss-army knife and he managed a small, grateful nod as he took it from her.

"You wouldn't believe how useful those things can be in a tight spot. Don't wander off too far, yeah? We all know who they'll send out to find you," she said, tipping a wink. "Night, Chris."

"Yeah," he said, mind buzzing as she began making her way towards the Abigail, "Night."

"Oh, I almost forgot." She spun on her heel and dug around in her pocket, drawing out a small rectangle of paper and passing it to him. The postcard. "Think of it as a memento of our travels."

Looking down at the stolen souvenir, Chris smiled.

* * *

"You want to know what the most underrated perk of the apocalypse is?"

"Yeah?"

"No planes. No noise pollution. No smog. Just stars."

"Yep. We definitely stopped the climate crisis."

Alicia crossed her arms behind her head and leaned back, staring up at the night sky. Warm and cozy in their sleeping bags, she and her brother took advantage of the warmest night they'd had since departing from the mainland, by camping out on the deck of the Abigail.

"Alright, kiddies, sit up."

Lumen appeared from inside balancing three steaming cups of hot cocoa.

"Extra marshmallows?" Nick asked as he took the mug from her.

The soldier scoffed. "Yeah. And your steak dinner is on its way, your highness."

Alicia snorted as Lumen passed her cup to her, and Lumen realized what she had said.

"Oh shit! No pun intended."

"Language," Nick teased, shaking his head. She ruffled his hair with her free hand before carefully settling into her own sleeping bag.

Taking a sip of the sweet beverage, closing her eyes as she savored the moment of simple pleasure, Lumen rested back on one hand and looked up at the sprawling blanket of stars above them.

"Man, all that's missing in some s'mores and a shitty guitar player. But as much as I'd love to build a campfire on Strand's precious deck, I have a feeling he'd put me up permanently with the Gearys."

"You sure you don't want the bench?" Nick asked from the seat next to her, fidgeting with his blanket.

"I'm fine."

"She's probably used to it," Alicia commented, sipping her cocoa and smiling as it evoked memories of her childhood.

"This?" Lumen said, "No. This is much nicer than what I'm used to."

They sipped in silence, appreciating what might be their last peaceful night before heading back out onto the water. Strand had assured them that the bay was keeping them well hidden from their unidentified stalker, and that, for now at least, they were safe.

"You know what Harry had up in his room?" Nick said to them, "All these action figures with red dots on their heads. Said they were campers. And neighbors."

"Red dots?" Alicia frowned.

"Because 'it's what has to happen now when people get sick'."

"Geez," Lumen muttered. Nick looked over at her, propped up on one elbow.

"You don't like kids, do you?" he commented.

She glanced up at him, expression uncertain as she processed an answer.

"What gave you that impression?"

"You weren't very nice to Willa."

Lumen looked down at her drink, swirling the contents of the cup. She polished off what was left of it and set the cup down beside her.

"It's not that. It's just…It's a long story."

"Did you have somewhere to be?" he replied. She smiled upon hearing her own words, then her expression grew serious.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Okay. But you know you can tell me anything, right? I won't judge."

Alicia rolled her eyes. She had grown aware of her brother's strange fixation on the soldier since they had arrived at Strand's house. Though over the years she had witnessed his attempts to charm his way out of trouble – the fact that he always managed to do so planting a seed of resentment that had taken root between them – it was even more sickening to watch him attempt to use this technique to woo women. Catching the look from his sister, Nick threw his pillow at her, narrowly avoiding her unfinished drink.

"Oh, mature, Nick!" she said, throwing it back. He grinned as he caught it, bunching it up in his arms and resting against it as he eyed Lumen, waiting for a more substantial answer.

"It's not something I want you to hear," she finally said. "Either of you."

Alicia frowned and exchanged a brief look with Nick. After everything they had witnessed, she wondered what could possibly be so bad. As she pondered on the combination of children and the growing number of infected, she found her answer. Feeling sick, she put down her half-finished cocoa and drew her blanket up closer.

Accustomed to pushing horrible things from her mind in order to sleep, Lumen sank deeper into her sleeping bag and fell into a light doze. She woke a while later to a peaceful silence. Glancing around, she saw that Alicia had her back to her, but Nick was still wide awake, staring up at the night sky.

"What's up?" she asked him.

"I thought you were asleep."

"I was. Your loud thinking woke me up."

He rolled to his side, arms wrapped around his pillow. He looked troubled for a moment before he replied.

"It's these kids. They've seen more than their fair share. Like what they're living in now, and what they're going to grow up living in…I don't know, man."

Lumen considered this. Though she would have preferred to steer the conversation away from children, she could see how much the issue was bothering Nick.

"Better that they start young," she replied.

"No. They shouldn't have to see all this. They deserve a childhood, you know? They deserve a chance to have a normal life. It's not fair."

"When has the world ever been fair, Nick?"

He glanced down at her and they locked eyes, sharing the weight of that heavy truth for a moment. Behind her eyes he caught a glimpse of the years of damage that had befallen her. There was still so much he didn't know about her, and so much he wasn't sure he wanted to know. As much as he liked the idea of her being their dangerous and resilient protector, he felt drawn towards that damaged part of her that she kept hidden away.

"What happened to you?" he asked softly.

"Leave it, Nick. Go to sleep."

Catching her stony expression, he decided not to press the matter any further. The soldier rolled over with her back to him, effectively ending the conversation. Nick stared at her for a moment, concerned by her avoidance of the subject, then finally closed his eyes, hoping for a dreamless sleep.

* * *

Feeling refreshed the following morning after a shower and a cup of coffee, Lumen strolled down towards the cliffs to take in the seascape. After having a not-entirely appropriate dream about Chris the night before, sure it was simply her subconscious processing the awkward encounter in the diner, she hoped to run into him if only to reassure herself that there was nothing to worry about between them.

Failing to locate the teenager, she spotted another young man heading for the beach, a pickaxe rested casually against his shoulder.

"Seth," she called out to him.

He spun around, immediately on alert upon hearing the unfamiliar voice.

"Whoa, sorry, man. Didn't mean to startle you."

He eyed her with the same wariness his father had displayed the night before.

"Lumen," she introduced, holding out her hand. He shook it out of automatic politeness, staring at her as if she was the first woman he had interacted with in a long time that wasn't his mother. She realized after a moment that she probably was.

"Going mining?" she joked, nodding to the tool in his hands. He stared at her, the meaning lost on him. "The pickaxe," she reiterated.

"I need to clear," he replied simply.

"Want some help?"

He looked her up and down and shook his head.

"My mom might need some help in the kitchen, if you're looking for something to do."

"Excuse me?" Her reply escaped before she had time to remind herself that this boy had probably never left the island; that his mother's domestic duties were likely all he knew of a woman's expected role.

Moments later she was on the beach showing him otherwise. He watched in admiration as she lured the biter towards the chain-link fence with taunts that would have made his mother blush. Once it was close enough, she thrust her knife through its eye without the slightest indication that the action bothered her.

"Nice!" he smiled, "Cleanest kill yet."

Chris stood at the top of the cliff observing the pair as they worked. He watched the older boy laugh at something Lumen said and felt a flash of jealousy.

"Hey," Lumen greeted as she spotted him coming down the stairs.

He forced a smile.

"What are you guys doing?"

"Clearing," Seth replied with a more genuine smile, swinging his pickaxe through the head of one of the biters as if to demonstrate.

"Want to try?" Lumen asked him, flipping her knife and offering him the handle.

"Might need something with a bit more reach," Seth recommended. He offered Chris the pickaxe and Chris glanced between his choice of weapons. Taking the pickaxe, leaving Seth without an avenue to impress the soldier any more, Chris stalked towards the fence.

"Just gotta lure them first," Seth instructed, rattling the wire.

"Come and get it you dead fucks!" Lumen shouted, making the older boy laugh. Chris frowned at him but turned to watch three of the infected limp towards them.

"Aim for the temple, socket or the base of the neck if their back's to you," Seth instructed, stepping up beside Lumen, who had her arms folded as she watched with a smile.

He had to get this right. He couldn't make a fool of himself in front of her. Whacking the pickaxe against the fence, he shouted, "Here! Over here!"

One of the infected split from the group and approached, its clothes soaked from the surf, the stench of rotting flesh and seawater overpowering. It began to claw at the fence as it attempted to get closer to its prey, teeth gnashing against the metal. Lining up the shot, Chris swung the pickaxe, hitting it square in the eye. He looked back at the others, astonished by his luck on the first try.

"Nice!" Lumen grinned, stepping up to the fence and taking out the next one with a knife to the temple.

"Chris!"

They turned to see Travis standing at the top of the cliff, worry etched into his features.

"Uh-oh," Lumen said with mock-concern, wiping the blood onto her jeans before sheathing the knife. "Better go see what your dad wants."

Chris frowned. Ignoring his father's calls, he approached the last of the infected.

"I better go see if my dad needs a hand with anything," Seth said, sensing trouble brewing. "You right with this one?"

"I got it," Chris assured him.

"Let me know if there's anything else you want help with," Lumen told the older boy with a smirk that made Chris's blood boil. Seth smiled and began to ascend the stairs, passing a worried Travis along the way.

"Your son's a natural, sir."

Travis frowned at the remark.

"Chris!" he tried again, eyeing the bloody weapon. "What are you doing?"

"Being of use," Chris shot back, his scowl growing darker as he approached the fence. Travis looked away as his son speared the dead man through the eye, briefly locking eyes with the soldier. Although Lumen could read the blame in his eyes, she didn't see any problem with what they were doing. In her opinion, this was an important skill for him to be learning now, and the fence made it all the safer for him to do so.

"Come on, Chris, please," he said turning back, trying to ignore the corpse now crumpled by the wire.

"There," Chris spat at him, "Done."

Shoving the axe into his father's hands, Chris glanced back at Lumen as an invitation to follow, but she looked equally as clueless as his father. Coming to her senses, she threw Travis an apologetic look.

"What are you doing?" he asked her, and she knew he wasn't referring to the infected.

"Trying to help. He's okay, Travis," she assured him, but his expression didn't change.

Too concerned with his son's attitude to pick a fight right now, Travis let her pass without further question, and watched her follow Chris up the stairs. No matter what Madison tried to convince him about the soldier being trustworthy, he couldn't help but side with Daniel. Looking down at the gore-tipped pickaxe, recalling the look on his son's face as he had swung it, he began to feel something deeper than concern.

* * *

 **A/N: Alright! Firstly, a much needed shout-out to the brilliant anr017 for providing me with my own personal one-woman cheer squad - this chapter would have taken a lot longer if it weren't for your encouragement. Please check out her FTWD fic, _Dead Girl Walking,_ if you get the chance - it's wonderful. Also to kelseyroo for your review and for jinxing me! So much for how fast the updates were coming! I kid, though. Your review was much appreciated too. **

**I named this chapter after the song by The Antlers which inspired it, well worth the listen if you get the chance. Also playing in the background as I wrote were (the rather fitting songs) _I Don't Want Love_ by The Antlers, and _So He Won't Break_ by The Black Keys.**

 **Once again, I look forward to any feedback, and thanks again for reading. xx**


	9. Chapter 9: Kids

**Chapter Nine: Kids**

 _He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster…  
And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.  
_

Lumen moved to catch up to Chris, but was intercepted by Nick as he approached from the house looking disturbed. He called out to her, attracting his step-brother's attention. Glancing between the two, Chris's dark scowl deepened. He stalked away before Lumen could say anything. She turned back to Nick, sighing through pursed lips and smoothing back a strand of loose hair.

"What's up?" Catching his expression, she frowned. "What is it?"

"I found pills in the house. Not like, painkillers… I think they're poison capsules."

"What, like cyanide?" she asked, completely forgetting about Chris for a moment as Nick nodded. "Wait… how did you find them?"

His expression turned sheepish. "I was just looking around, you know?"

"What the hell were you looking around for, Nick? Am I going to have to kick your ass?"

"Well, you haven't been rewarding me for staying sober," he joked, with a guilty smile, hoping to appeal to her better nature.

"Your reward was me not kicking your ass! What the hell, Nick?"

All traces of humor fell from his face as she raised her voice. He had not expected this sort of reaction from her. She stared at him for a moment, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. But underneath he could tell that she was still furious with him.

"So what are you saying? You think Georgie boy's going to kill his whole family? It might just be a last option kind of thing."

"What if it's not though? What if he knows how bad things are and he's just working up the nerve to do it? Those kids, man…"

Lumen glanced at him, feeling guilty for her outburst.

"Alright, first you need to promise me you weren't looking for pills in there."

"Okay, I promise," he assured her with a smile that melted her icy expression.

"I mean it, Nick. Please."

She looked away and he realized she was genuinely upset.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry, okay? I swear I wasn't looking to score." His voice had grown soft as he realized he had become a disappointment to someone yet again. She met his gaze and nodded, though he wasn't sure she believed him.

"Let's just talk to the others. See what they think," she said, trying not to think too hard about little Harry and Willa. She wasn't about to let their fates become her responsibility.

"Yeah, okay," he replied, "I think I saw my mom heading back to the Abigail. Where's Travis?"

Lumen turned back towards the beach and found him nearing the top of the stairs.

"Travis!"

He glanced over, expression still heavy from what he had witnessed below.

"I need a word," the soldier said.

* * *

"They want us to what?"

Lumen stared at Madison in disbelief. Beside her, Nick shifted uncomfortably at the soldier's tone. He had never seen her this fired up over something, and that included their most recent conversation.

"No, it's just Melissa. George doesn't know," Madison replied.

"Oh, so their father's not in on it. Cool. So we grab his kids and make a run for it? Hope he doesn't shoot any of us down along the way?"

"You think it's a better idea leaving them here?"

"Who's to say it's any safer for them out on the water? What are we going to do? Take them back to the mainland where there's hundreds, if not thousands more infected waiting for them?"

"She's right, Maddy," Travis said, hardly able to believe that he was agreeing with the soldier after questioning her credibility only moments earlier.

"They deserve a chance at a better life, Travis!" Madison argued.

"No, they deserve a chance at _a_ life," Lumen corrected her. "We take them out there, I guarantee you they'll be dead within a week. Do you really want the responsibility of two little kids running around out there?"

"On the boat?"

"We're not going to be on the boat forever."

Madison eyed her. The soldier knew more about Strand's plans than she was letting on, she knew it.

"Well, we're not going to have a lot of options there, anyway."

"What do you mean?" the soldier asked.

Madison exchanged a look with Travis.

"I spoke with George last night," Travis began, "He's been keeping in contact with other ranger stations, keeping track of the situation so far. There aren't a lot of places left that haven't been bombed. Almost every city across the country. And as far as Mexico goes, he says they've shut down the border. No way in or out."

Once again, the soldier didn't seem too surprised by this information.

"Just how much more do you know?" Travis asked as he caught her expression, "What are you and Strand hiding?"

She met his eyes and he saw something there that told him to back off. He leaned back in his seat.

"I'm not going to keep arguing about this," Madison interrupted, "We are going to help those kids."

"I'm not going to be responsible for another child's death!" Lumen barked, startling Nick. Travis stared at her.

"They won't be your responsibility," Madison countered, disturbed by the woman's outburst.

"You're fucking right they won't be."

"Hey!"

"What? What do you want to say, Madison? I'm putting my vote in now: I'm not bringing those kids on board. And my vote counts for two, because I sure as hell know what Strand's going to say."

Madison looked to Travis, who appeared torn. Personally, he agreed with the soldier, but with his girlfriend's gaze boring into him, he caved.

"Let me talk to George, okay? Let me talk to him first."

"I can't keep leaving people behind, Travis," Madison said.

Lumen looked at Nick. They hadn't even had a chance to tell them about his discovery yet. Lumen knew that would be the final push Madison needed. But she couldn't deal with another child's death on her conscience. Not again. She got up to leave, but Nick caught her by the arm, attracting his mother's attention.

"Look, I found something in the house," he began, "I think this asshole's planning on Jonestowning his whole family."

"What are you talking about?" Travis asked. Lumen crossed her arms and sighed, turning towards the window. The wind was beginning to pick up outside, sending ocean spray across the deck. A heavy cloud covering loomed overhead with the promise of rain, and despite the warm shelter the cabin provided against the elements, Lumen shivered.

"I found pills in his office," Nick replied, "Not the recreational kind, either. I know pillheads and these people are not them."

"How do you know what the pills are?"

"I know my pharmaceuticals," Nick assured him.

"Still want to leave them here?" Madison asked the soldier, but Lumen ignored her. "Alright, let's go talk to Melissa. We should leave as soon as possible. Strand says we're all clear. If you're right about anything, it's that George won't let us take them without a fight."

"I'll go get my rifle, shall I?" Lumen remarked.

Travis held up his hands, tired of the soldier's attitude. "That won't be necessary. Let's just do this as smoothly and calmly as possible."

"Take someone else's kids? Yeah, sure, no worries. Your typical smash and grab job. Got it."

She pulled out her sidearm and checked the clip as she muttered inaudibly under her breath, eliciting concerned looks from the older couple. She glanced over at them as she slid the clip into place and pulled back the slide.

"Alright, let's go do this."

* * *

"I've told them that they're going on a boat ride, that they'll be back in a couple of days. I think they're actually excited."

Inside the Geary's house, Melissa Geary gave a backpack and a small suitcase to Travis, fighting to keep her emotions in check as she prepared to surrender her two youngest children.

"This is Harry's," she said, passing a toy slingshot to Madison, "He gets scared at night. He pretends not to, but he ends up crawling into his sister's bed. We've been trying to discourage that, but I think it's okay if he does it, you know, to feel safer?"

Unable to keep herself under control any longer, Melissa began to cry, shaking as sobs rolled through her body.

"It's okay," Madison said, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I promise they'll be safe with us."  
She knew what it was like having to give up a child with the hope that the sacrifice would turn out in their best interest; the number of times she'd had no choice but to force Nick into rehab, despite his assurance that he could get better on his own.

Lumen swallowed the lump in her throat and looked away. Glancing at Nick, who sat beside her at the small dining table, she realized he was on the verge of tears watching this grieving mother. She reached out and gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze, receiving a thin smile of appreciation in return. Gazing at him, any anger she had felt towards him earlier slipped away. Strand was right; he was her weakness, this soft-hearted addict. And she knew that fact was going to come back to bite her in the ass.

George Geary entered the room, driving the soldier to her feet. Her hand went immediately to her sidearm. She had known this would happen.

"What's going on?" he asked, glancing from his crying wife to the group of guilty-looking visitors. "What is this, Melissa?"

Piecing the story together with the children's luggage in Travis's possession, his wife's desperate tears and the defensive stance of the armed woman, he shook his head. He had known she would try something like this ever since her 'accident' with the lights. She had tried to convince him that she thought the lightbulb was faulty, that she had been attempting to fix it, but the repeated flickering had given her away. "Why?" he asked her.

"George, listen to me," Melissa tried, her eyes pleading for him to understand, "I love you. I love our family. But we have to give them a chance. I can't stand looking at them every day and seeing nothing for them, I just can't."

Lumen stared at George, waiting for his reaction, when she saw Harry appear on the staircase looking upset.

"Mama?"

Nick glanced up, sensing something was wrong. Harry's parents turned, the argument momentarily forgotten as their son approached. He glanced between the visitors, his movements shy.

"What, sweetie? What is it? Tell mommy," Melissa encouraged, leaning down to him.

"Something's wrong with Willa."

"What? What do you mean? Stay here, Harry. Just wait there, okay?"

Melissa raced up the stairs to check on her daughter, with George close on her heels.

Lumen exchanged a look with Nick. He approached the little boy, crouching down to his level.

"What happened, buddy?"

"She took her pill."

"Oh, no," Lumen said, her voice barely a whisper. She turned her head towards the door as she felt the powerful urge to leave, wanting nothing to do with this. She tried to imagine the scene upstairs, but only seemed able to think of the fragile body she had found by the window all those weeks ago; the chewed remains of the little girl she had failed to save. Her heart began to race as a sick feeling crept over her. Nick turned back with a helpless expression. Willa had seen him in the study, she had seen where her father had kept the pills hidden. Without a word, he dashed up the stairs to see what his actions had brought upon this family.

Lumen followed behind him in a daze, ignoring the voice in her head that was begging her to leave. She had to make sure the others were safe. There was a scream as she reached Willa's bedroom. She leaned against the doorframe, barely making sense of the scene before her. Melissa was covered in blood, red pouring from the bite wound in her neck, Willa struggling in her arms as she fought for another mouthful. Lumen backed away the moment she saw the little girl's face. The sounds around her grew distant as blood pounded in her ears.

"I can't do this," she heard herself say.

"Lumen?" someone said, their voice dulled.

"Nick, grab Harry!" another voice said.

Fighting to stay focused, Lumen made it back down the staircase, knuckles white as she gripped the rail. She paused at the bottom as she began to feel faint. With one arm around Harry, Nick used the other to urge her on.

They made it out the front door just as George Geary screamed above, his voice carrying through the open window. For a moment Lumen was back outside the abandoned house, Wilson groaning on the ground as he clutched his shattered leg, radio crackling warnings of approaching infected. She could hear the voices of her men arguing behind her, then the little girl screaming above…the high-pitched shriek faded to the deeper-voiced agony of George Geary. She closed her eyes and shook her head, willing herself back to the present. Focusing on Nick, she urged herself onwards as they made it to the pier.

"I want my dad," Harry said to Nick, as he was jostled around with each quick step. "I want my mama."

"I know, buddy," Nick said to him, making his best attempt to soothe the child, "But this is what they wanted."

"This isn't right," Lumen muttered to herself as they reached the yacht.

"What happened?" Daniel asked, loosening the mooring lines. He had seen them coming, sensing the urgency as he spotted the child in Nick's arms.

"They turned," Travis explained quickly.

They hurried aboard, Chris helping them up before he and his father pulled back the ramp and secured the gate. Strand appeared from the staircase, expression adamant.

"Madison, what have you done now?" he said, glancing at the child. He threw a look at his soldier for being part of this, but she had grown pale as she fought to stay upright. He tried to get her attention, leaning forward to catch her eyes, but she was too far gone.

"What's wrong with her?" he asked Nick, as Nick placed the boy down beside him.

"I don't know."

Lumen clutched the table, her breathing uneven. She closed her eyes in an attempt to regain focus, but her head continued to thump, her vision like static.

"We have room," Madison reasoned with Strand, drawing his attention back to the child.

"Children are the very definition of dead weight. Put him back where you found him."

"You're not doing this again," Travis shot back, "You don't get to decide who lives and who dies."

"That's exactly what I get to do."

"We're doing this," Madison assured him, with her sharpest gaze, "Now move this goddamn boat."

A gunshot broke them from the debate. Seth had boarded during their argument, armed with his rifle as he came to claim his little brother. He glanced around the cabin, pointing the gun at anyone who moved.

"Harry? Come on, you're coming home!"

Madison moved forward instinctively to protect the child and the gun swung towards her. Adrenalin had surged through Lumen at the familiar sound of gunfire, her training coming back to her in a rush of sudden composure. She did the only thing she could think of, seeing a weapon pointed at her group; she drew her sidearm and grabbed Harry.

"Lumen!" Nick watched in disbelief as she pulled the child away from him and held her gun to the side of his head. She stared down the older brother.

"Lower your weapon!" she shouted.

"It's okay, Harry," Seth told his brother as the boy looked around in confusion.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lumen heard Alicia say from somewhere behind her.

"Let him go!" Travis pleaded.

"Drop it, now!" she shouted again.

"He needs to be with his family!" Seth replied, not backing down.

"There's nothing back there anymore," Madison reasoned, "Just come with us."

"Will you stop inviting people onto my goddamn boat?" Strand said to her.

"This is his home. He needs his family," continued Seth, his weapon still raised despite Lumen's demands. "Just let us go home! Please, just let us go home!"

There was a desperation to his voice that brought Lumen to her senses. Chris watched the stand-off, unable to comprehend what he was witnessing. This was a side of the soldier he had never seen before, that he had never thought existed; the dark side of Sergeant Attebury. Sensing the stalemate, Lumen made her choice and pushed the boy towards his older brother, keeping her weapon raised in case he decided to take a few revenge shots. But all he had wanted was his little brother safe in his arms. Giving Harry a hug and checking him over quickly for any wounds, he picked him up and turned to give the group one last damning look.

"You caused this," he told them, before moving off towards the pier. The words hit Madison hard as she watched the boys head back towards what was left of their home. The moment the child was off the boat, Strand made his way up to the bridge and started the engine.

"What the hell was that?" Travis shouted at Lumen, stepping towards her, but she wasn't listening. She gazed out at the pier, where a blood-splattered Melissa Geary was shambling towards her two remaining children.

"Oh my god," Madison said. They watched Seth set Harry down, and ready his rifle. The brothers spoke briefly and Harry turned back to the boat, waving despite his earlier encounter. Having the best rapport with him, Nick waved back to keep his attention focused away from what was about to happen. The boat began to pull away from the harbor as Seth raised his gun at his mother and lined up the shot.

Lumen was having trouble breathing. She had to sit down. Turning around, ignoring the concerned looks as she stumbled by, she managed to make it down the staircase to the hallway below. Throwing open the nearest door, she collapsed against the cabin wall, shaking. She had no idea what was happening to her. She had experienced this once before, during a particularly hot day in the Afghan desert. The medic had diagnosed it as heatstroke, but this…this was something else. Suddenly her mind went to the little girl in the house; her mouth smeared with blood, the way her eyes had clouded over…

 _She's here. Please don't hurt her! She's all I've got left…_

 _Where is your daughter?_

 _You think his daughter's dead?_

 _If not dead, then infected…_

She clawed at her head as tension began to build, desperate to stop remembering.

"Lumen? Lumen? Listen to me, breathe in slowly, okay? Just count to three, in then out. Lumen?"

She stared at Nick as he knelt in front of her but her brain couldn't seem to process what he was saying. She hadn't even realized she was hyperventilating. He took her head in both hands and stared into her eyes, trying to get her to focus.

"Hey, you with me?"

She turned aside and threw up.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay," Nick told her, pulling her hair back from her face.

"I don't know what's wrong," she managed to say, but her voice sounded distant. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and started to shiver, holding her head in her hand.

Chris appeared in the doorway, concerned by Lumen's hasty departure, but was promptly forced aside by Madison as she stepped into the room. She watched the soldier attempt to get to her feet and stumble forward. Nick caught her just in time and helped her over to the bed.

"What happened?" Madison asked, glancing at the pool of vomit on the floor.

"I don't know," Nick said, turning back to his mother as he helped lower Lumen onto the edge of the mattress. "She's really sick, mom."

Madison knew from his expression that this wasn't as simple as a stomach ache.

"We need to talk about what happened back there."

"Not now."

"Nick–" Madison pushed, but the look he threw her shut her up.

"We can deal with it later, okay, mom? Can't you see what she's dealing with? She's not well. That wasn't her back there."

"She was just trying to help," Chris muttered behind her. Madison turned to look at him, as if only noticing him for the first time. He met her gaze but quickly looked away. She glanced back at the vomit on the floor.

"I'll find something to clean that up. What does she need? Anything?"

"Just sleep, I think. Maybe some water. I wouldn't give her any meds. Unless we have valium…"

"You know we don't, Nick."

Chris turned away and moved off to find some water. Madison watched him go and when she turned back she saw Nick feeling Lumen's forehead. The soldier felt cold but she was drenched with sweat.

"What is this, Nick?" Madison asked, her voice low.

"You want a blanket?" Nick asked Lumen. As out of it as she was, she managed a small nod. She was freezing.

"Alright. You'll be okay. I'll be right back," he said, rubbing her arm reassuringly. As he headed past his mother, he said, "I think she's in shock."

"She looks like she's coming off something."

"She not a user, mom. You should have heard the way she ripped into me when I told her about those pills. She would have given you a run for your money."

Madison followed him down the hall towards the cupboard. He pushed aside the sleeping bags they had stored away that morning, and pulled down one of the woolen blankets, looking around as he considered what else she might need.

"Can you find a bucket?" he asked his mother, who was still frowning at her son's dedication to the woman who had just held a child at gunpoint.

Chris passed them carrying a bottle of water, heading back towards his room. Nick watched him for a moment before Alicia appeared at the bottom of the staircase.

"What's going on?"

She had noticed her step-brother's rushed behavior, and, thinking Nick was having another episode, had followed him back down.

"Nothing, honey."

"Where's Lumen?"

Though the soldier had started to grow on her over the last few days, that latest stunt had left Alicia devoid of almost any faith in her. She glanced from Nick to their mother, but neither seemed in the mood for giving answers. Nick, completely ignoring her, started back towards the room. She turned to her mother. "Did you talk to her?"

"She's sick."

"Uh, yeah. That much I had figured out," she replied.

"Look, can you leave us for a second?"

"Seriously?"

"Alicia, please," Madison said with a little more force than she had meant.

Exasperated at being brushed off in favor of her brother yet again, Alicia stormed off towards her bunk, slamming the door behind her. Madison remained alone in the hallway, head hung and hand on her hip as she figured out the best course of action. She turned as she heard footsteps behind her.

"Maddy, what's going on? Where are the kids?" Travis asked as he came down the stairs.

"Nick and Chris are with Lumen, and Alicia's–"

"Wait, what? What are they doing with her? After what she just did?"

"She's not well."

"Did you talk to her? She's dangerous, Maddy! They shouldn't be hanging around her!"

"We'll have to talk about this later."

Nick rushed passed them once more, this time heading up the staircase. Travis watched him, frowning.

"What's going on, Maddy?"

"I don't know. She's not well, Travis. She's not going be able to answer any questions right now."

"What about the boys?"

Back in the room, Chris had taken a seat beside Lumen on the bed, opening the bottle of water and offering it to her. She accepted and took a swig, swishing it around in her mouth to get rid of the sour taste.

"You okay?" he asked her, realizing how stupid the question sounded as he took in her pale, clammy complexion. He was doing his best to ignore the smell of sick in the room, more worried about her wellbeing.

"Not the best," she managed, with a weak smile. She rubbed her face, glancing down at her palm as she felt it come away wet. She hadn't realized she was sweating; she felt so cold. She tugged the blanket around closer, but it didn't seem to be helping.

"Can I do anything? I want to help," Chris said.

She looked over at him, touched by his concern. As she gazed at his bruised face, sensing his simple desire to feel needed, she felt her throat begin to tighten once again and refocused on her breathing.

Chris placed a hand on her back, hoping it would at least be a slight comfort to her. He could feel her shaking beneath his hand and considered going in search of another blanket. Nick returned carrying a couple of buckets and a mop. He glanced at Chris's hand resting on the soldier, then turned his attention to the mess on the floor. His mother had offered to clean it up, instinct kicking in as she recalled the nights of caring for her own sick kids, but Nick had replied that it was his turn to do the mopping up. She had cleaned up enough of his messes.

"How you doing over there, Lu?" he asked as he got to work. Lumen just shook her head. She had sunk deeper into the bed, sleep beginning to feel like the best option.

Chris watched his step-brother, brow creased. He almost felt as though Nick was invading his space, intruding on a private moment between him and the older woman. He had claimed the room when they'd boarded, dumping his belongings in the cabin that had once held his mother's remains; and right now he felt like he had the situation under control. It seemed unnecessary for them to both be there. As Nick finished up, he pushed the second bucket towards the bed to avoid any further accidents. Alicia appeared in the doorway, abandoning the security of the crew's quarters, compelled by curiosity. Her expression was uncertain as she looked around the room.

"What wrong with her?" she asked, "Is she sick?"

'Sick' seemed to imply a whole different meaning these days, as their experience with the spreading plague bred paranoia.

"I'm not infected," the soldier answered, her voice rough but still tinged with amusement. As lightheaded as she was feeling, Lumen still managed to look guilty. "I'm sorry you had to see that, back there."

The three teenagers were silent, the only sound the wet smacks of the mop against the floor.

"We can talk later," Alicia decided, observing the woman's pale skin. She thought back to Matt, how he'd looked when they'd left him alone in his house…

"I'll be back," Nick announced, picking up the dirty bucket. He threw his sister a look and she seemed to catch his suggestion, disappearing back towards the bunks.

"It's okay," Chris told him.

Nick turned back with a puzzled frown.

"What do you mean?"

"I've got it," his step-brother assured him, looking at Lumen, "I can take it from here. I'll watch her."

Nick's frown deepened, but Chris seemed adamant.

"I can do this," he assured him once again.

"Yeah. Okay. Cool." Nick forced a smile and nodded before hauling the bucket of murky water towards the hallway. He knew Chris needed something to take his mind of his mother, and if this was it, he was fine with it, though Lumen's sudden turn in behavior had really shaken him. He was convinced it was some kind of post-traumatic stress. It had to be. This wasn't her. He had seen similar behavior in other addicts, the ones who shot up to forget their past, the way they spun out as their memories betrayed them.

"Let me know when she wakes up, alright?" he told Chris, nodding towards the sleeping form of his friend, hoping she would be willing to talk more once the symptoms had subsided.

Chris looked down at her. He hadn't even noticed that she had drifted off. Pulling the blanket up closer around her shoulders, he took the bottle of water from her grasp and placed it on the bedside. Though her head was close to his lap, he couldn't quite make out her face. He brushed her hair back and smiled down at her. Asleep, she looked softer, without the tough edge of a woman who had seen war. He noticed the scattering of freckles across her nose, the way her long eyelashes rested against her skin. She looked peaceful, almost innocent. In a moment of impulse, he brushed a finger across her cheek and felt a rush of affection. Smiling to himself, he felt content for the first time in weeks.

* * *

 **A/N: This may have been the hardest chapter yet. Big thanks to anr017 for listening to me complain, and her constant willingness to help me out with ideas and feedback.**

 **The tunes I listened to throughout this chapter were it's namesake, _Kids_ by MGMT, and _Youth_ by Daughter. Thanks again for reading, and any reviews are welcome. xx**


	10. Chapter 10: Dazed and Confused

**Chapter Ten: Dazed and Confused**

 _Dust._

 _There was so much dust, it seemed to cling to every inch of her skin. It felt as if it filled her lungs with each breath she took._

 _She looked out over the hillside and spotted the bombed remnants of a village down below. The ragged edges of its broken buildings cast misshapen shadows across the dead landscape in the light of the setting sun. She surveyed the sea of dead grass surrounding her, then followed the dusty road down towards it._

 _The town was quiet. Empty. She passed the carcass of a goat beside an empty fountain, its fur taut and dry against sun-bleached bones._

 _Her radio crackled to life as she entered the street, but the transmission was scrambled. She paused for a moment, hoping to hear a familiar voice, to not feel so alone. The crackling stopped._

 _She noticed a shape in a pile of dirt by the roadside and approached it. There was a face covered in ash, eyes open but unseeing. A child. She turned away from it as she heard whispers to her right. But she was alone in the street._

 _She caught movement in her peripheral vision and turned back to see a line of soldiers pass by, the only sound the crunch of their boots against the unsealed road. They disappeared into the building through a gaping doorway._

 _The radio on her hip burst to life, "INCOMING! INCOMING! INCOM-"_

 _Cement exploded from the wall, sending her flying to the ground as she covered her head._

 _As she pushed herself up, she realized her face was inches from the buried child's. She scrambled backwards as people began to scream. The building was going up in flames, red tongues stark against the washed-out landscape. She was suddenly surrounded by villagers, all of them staring expectantly, waiting for her to do something. She couldn't move. She felt paralyzed under their gaze. There was a flash of light and the people were on the ground, some clutching at stumps where their arms and legs had been, others cut open by flying debris, clutching their spilled insides as they opened their mouth in silent screams. An old woman reached for her with bloody hands, begging for assistance, but she couldn't hear, ears still ringing from the blast. She turned back to the building her men had entered and ran inside._

 _The fire was gone. She was in an empty room now. It was dark except for the occasional burst of light coming through a nearby window. A woman's compact lay open, casting a reflection across the floor. She picked it up and looked into the mirror, catching movement behind her. She spun around, but no one was there. She was alone. The light continued to pulse through the window, bright as lightning. She shielded her eyes and moved towards it, looking out across the water. A lighthouse sat perched atop a cliff in the distance, barely visible in the dark. Its signal came as a steady beat, illuminating the room. She made out a small silhouette on the floor below the window frame. As she approached, she was hit with the sharp smell of copper, and realized she was stepping in thick, black blood. She crouched down and touched the small figure on the shoulder, rolling it over…_

Lumen woke with a start, ripping herself from the dream before it could finish. She knew what was coming next. She'd had this dream many times before, though it changed a little each time, her unconscious mind choosing new details to recall and relive. Her throat felt tight as she took a deep breath. She felt movement beside her.

"You okay?"

Chris sat next to her on the bed with his back against the wall, knees drawn to his chest as he rested his chin on folded arms.

"You're still here? I thought you'd be asleep," the soldier commented, rubbing her eyes and reaching for her bottle of water.

The teenager stretched out one of his legs and turned to look at her.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Lumen cocked an eyebrow as she drank.

Catching the expression, Chris looked away, suddenly embarrassed. He had hoped his decision to stay would have at least invoked some form of appreciation from her, but she seemed indifferent. He still couldn't figure out how to approach her. He was used to the girls his own age; easy to read, hearts worn readily on their sleeves. At least he had always known where he stood with them, even if that position was 'not a chance'. With Lumen, he had no idea. Not that he was even sure she would be interested in him in the first place, considering the age gap; though she seemed pretty close to Nick, and he wasn't that much older. He had known her for less than a week but he couldn't deny the attraction he felt every time he saw her. He would have put that down to their brief encounter at Strand's house, but with every interaction since, his interest only seemed to grow. He thought back to the night in the diner, her fingers ghosting over his, their brief moment of intimacy. He felt a flush creeping up his neck and glanced at her to see if she had noticed.

"Was I asleep long? What time is it?" she asked, staring at the bottle as she shook its remaining contents.

"Late, I think. I haven't been up top for a while."

She turned to look at him, noting his fading bruises and the dark circles under his eyes.

"When's the last time you slept?"

"I haven't, really. Not since…my mom."

"You should try."

"I can't. I just…Too much," he motioned to his head, "Too much noise."

He snuck another glance at her, watching her tie her hair back with the elastic she kept on her wrist. He recalled the way she had looked on the raft after he had pulled her from the water; the way she had run her fingers back through her wet hair. She met his gaze and gave a friendly smile.

"How do you?" he asked her, "After everything that's happened?"

She shrugged and leaned back against the wall, offering him the last of the water. He shook his head and dropped his gaze.

"When you've been assigned to clean-up after a bomb detonates in a street full of civilians, you figure out a way to leave it behind you at the end of the day."

Chris frowned at the thought.

"Is that what you dream about?"

"Sometimes. Just the bits that stuck with me over time. That, or…"

She looked at him, remembering his confession about the lights.

"What?"

"Nothing," she replied, forcing a reassuring smile, her brow knitting together as the earlier lightheadedness dissolved into a throbbing headache.

He wasn't convinced, but didn't push the subject any further, sympathetic to her current state.

"Has that ever happened to you before?" he asked her. "Getting sick like that?"

"It was nothing. Dizzy spell. I just need to keep my fluid intake outside of the bar," she joked.

"It looked like a panic attack. There was a girl in my class at school who used to get them around exam time." His brow creased as he realized that girl was probably dead now. "What happened at the house?"

Lumen squeezed her eyes shut as she recalled the dead little girl in her mother's arms. She could almost smell the blood.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to talk about it."

She felt his hand on her shoulder and opened her eyes, debating with herself.

"I need to tell you something," she said, her voice low.

His heartbeat quickened as his imagination began to fill in the blanks. He shifted closer, hand still resting on her shoulder as he leant forward, giving her his full attention. She stared down at the bed.

"What is it?"

"Those lights you saw…"

He frowned, wondering what that could possibly have to do with anything. She looked up, reading the worry in his eyes.

"It was my squad that was sent in to investigate."

The words spilled out before she could allow herself to rethink the confession.

"What are you talking about?" Chris asked, brow creasing.

"Your dad…He must have reported it to your zone's commanding officer. The call came through. My squad answered it."

Chris dropped his gaze, processing this.

"What was it?"

She wanted to stop there. He didn't need to know this. She didn't need to relive it. But the thought of finally telling someone else made her feel better.

"There was a guy squatting in the house with his daughter. They'd been evading the imposed quarantine. Didn't have a lot of supplies left. Probably why he was trying to get someone's attention."

"What happened to him? Did you take him back with you, to where they were keeping Nick?"

She swallowed, ignoring the tight feeling growing in her chest.

"No."

Chris's mind whirred as he reached the only other conclusion.

"Did you kill him?" he asked, trying his best to sound neutral as he waited for the answer.

"He got taken by the infected. But…yeah, I would have had to execute him anyway."

His hand slipped off of her shoulder.

"I…I made sure he didn't suffer."

She looked over to see how he was taking it, but he wouldn't meet her gaze.

"What about the daughter?"

He finally looked back, but her expression was blank as she stared down at the bed. She shook her head. They sat in silence for a moment. He was the first person she had told, the only other person that knew outside of the remaining members of her squad.

"We didn't find her in time." Her voice was barely a whisper as her throat grew tight again. She coughed in an attempt to clear it, but it didn't help. "That's the night my friend became infected. The one I told you about. The same night one of my men broke his leg so badly they had to amputate it. He didn't make it either."

"The one my mom helped with?"

She nodded. When his silence grew too heavy for her, she turned to look at him and found his expression darker than before, jaw clenched. His eyes shone with tears but he was working hard to keep them in check. It was not the reaction she had been expecting from him. Shock, maybe, but not this look of anger.

"I shouldn't have said anything," he finally spoke, and she realized she had misread him. It wasn't anger she was seeing, it was furious guilt.

"What? This isn't on you."

He had a distant look on his face as he replied, "Every time I try to help…I mean, look what happened back there. We caused that."

Lumen thought of Nick. She needed to check on him. She knew he would be blaming himself for Willa's death.

"This is why I agreed with Strand. We can't help everyone. Someone always ends up hurt."

Chris looked at her, eyes softening under her gaze. He nodded.

"Thanks for staying with me," she said, offering him a genuine smile, hoping the sudden change of subject would ease his mood. She crossed her arms, hugging herself as she began to feel the cold creeping in again. "And for looking out for me. I know I can be a stubborn bitch."

She chuckled and Chris's lips parted, surprised by her gratitude. His expression shifted into a smile and it took her a moment to realize she was staring.

"So, how much shit am I in for when I go back out there?" she asked, looking away, pushing past the awkward emotional moment. She peeled off the blanket that had been covering her and swung her legs over the side of the bed, immediately regretting the sudden movement as her head began to swim. She paused and waited for it to pass before getting to her feet.

"What do you mean?" Chris asked her, watching her movements with concealed interest.

"Well, I can't say they would have been too impressed with me holding a gun to a kid's head."

"You were trying to help."

She turned and threw him a look. "Yeah, I don't know how well that's going to hold up in 'Madison Court'."

Chris smirked and a chuckle escaped his throat.

"Yeah. I know the judge."

"So you'll put in a good word?"

His smile fell as he thought of his step-mother. "I doubt she'd listen to me. Maybe ask Nick. He seems pretty good at taking himself out of trouble with her."

Lumen stared at him for a moment before nodding towards the door with an inviting smile.

"Come on. What do you say? Will you be my character witness?"

* * *

As much as she had been joking about the 'character witness' thing, Lumen was glad to have at least one friendly presence by her side as she sat in the wheelhouse under the critical gazes of both Madison and Travis. She had hoped to speak with Strand before the expected ambush, but he was nowhere to be found. Chris sat on the arm of the cushioned booth, arms folded as he glowered at his father. Travis avoided his son's gaze, letting Madison do most of the talking.

In the main room below them, Nick came up from the cabins, looking uncertain. He glanced over at Daniel, who sat at the dining table with a glass of whiskey, swirling the contents of his drink as he stared out at the water.

"Hey, have you seen Lumen?" Nick asked. Daniel glanced over, but seemed completely disinterested in the soldier's whereabouts.

"Did she come through here?" Nick pressed. He had slipped back inside after a quick cigarette out on the deck, and headed down to check on her, surprised to find the room empty. Daniel gestured to the staircase that led to the wheelhouse and turned back to stare into the golden liquid of his glass. His frown deepening, Nick began the ascent.

"What you did back there…" Madison began, trying to find the right words. Chris jumped in almost immediately to defend her.

"She was trying to help," he cut in, voice defiant.

"Chris," Travis said, a hint of warning to his voice. Chris's eyes flicked to his father and his scowl darkened. His father's gaze faltered and fell back to the floor.

"I wasn't going to hurt him," Lumen interrupted, "You really think I'm capable of that?"

"We don't know what you're capable of," Travis replied.

"So after all the shit I've pulled you guys out of, it's only now that my training is an issue?"

"They train you to hold guns to kids' heads?" Madison asked with dark sarcasm.

Nick, leaning on the rail at the top of the staircase, frowned at his mother's words. Lumen had been through enough; she didn't need the third degree.

"Mom," he said, announcing his presence. Madison looked over at him as he approached, and he shook his head, urging her to leave it be.

Glancing at Nick, Lumen could see he hadn't approved of her actions either, despite his attempt to break up the little lecture. She felt a pang of guilt as he stepped towards them.

"Look," Madison continued, "What happened back there was inexcusable-"

"No, what happened back there was me making sure no one got hurt. Me taking control of the situation that _you_ got us into. I told you I didn't want to bring any of the kids on board."

"So, what? You would have preferred that we left him there? After what we saw?"

She wanted to say that it was their fault; that the tragedy that had befallen the Gearys would never have occurred without their intervention. But she knew a large portion of that blame fell on Nick. He had found the pills. He had led Willa to their hiding place. She couldn't bring herself to say it, but Chris was right – this was on them. Strand chose that moment to make his appearance, coming in from the upper deck.

"What's going on?" he asked them, sensing the hostility towards his soldier.

Travis turned to him, growing tired of the pair's secrets, of the way they constantly took the other's side without any consideration for what was right.

"We're not going to just ignore what happened back there."

"What happened? What happened is Lumen was doing what I brought her on board to do – to protect our interests at any cost."

"Not at that cost. We don't do that."

Strand stepped towards him.

"We do what is necessary. You brought that child onto the boat. She had to deal with the consequences of that. She got between you and a gun. Yet here you are, chewing her out like she didn't just save your asses yet again. You should be grateful. Though considering the way you've spoken to me, the way you continue to act like your position on this boat is anything other than fortuitous, why should I expect any different?"

Lumen raised her eyebrows as she listened to the captain come to her defense. Though she knew his whole speech was put on for the sake of freeing her up for more important tasks, she still found it amusing to hear these borderline-praising statements leave his mouth. The words failed to effect Madison, however.

"We still have morals," she argued, "That doesn't go to shit just because the world has."

"Let me know about morals next time someone points a gun at you. At your children. Tell me how well your morals hold up then."

Lumen glanced between the two. She felt like she was back in high school, stuck between her parents as they bickered with the principal looking on. She had gotten caught once smoking in the girls' bathroom, her first ever taste of a cigarette. The experience that had followed had turned her of them for good, with her mother had reacted like her daughter had decided to join a cult. She was getting punished for one puff of a cigarette, meanwhile her brother had been off god knows where, doing god knows what and was still talked about like he was the golden child. She zoned out for a moment as she recalled the distant memory, brought back to the present when she felt Nick step up beside her. He took a seat next to her, arms crossed against his chest as he watched Strand and his mother argue. It was always an interesting fight when these two came together – stubbornness equal in both opponents.

Growing more uncomfortable by the second, Travis glanced away. Observing the three opposite him, his frown deepened as he processed what he was seeing. Lumen was zoned out again, staring down at the floor in distant thought. To her left, Chris sat watching her with curious interest. On her right, Nick looked back at him, more at ease than his step-brother, but his posture just as protective. It wasn't until now Travis became aware of the growing attachment they had to the woman. He glanced back at Madison and she met his gaze with a thin-lipped expression he was familiar with but rarely saw; her look of defeat.

"You didn't look very well back there," Madison addressed the soldier, moving past the incident with Harry.

Lumen glanced up at her, slower than usual to think up a lie. "Just…everything sort of…" She motioned to her head, "Everything just sort of hit me. All at once. You know? I'm feeling much better now. Thanks for the concern."

Madison just stared at her. She had become adept at picking up on lies from her days spent in an office across from troubled teenagers. Meeting her gaze, Lumen acknowledged the detected deception and waited for the older woman to comment. But Madison turned away.

"Since we seem to have reached an understanding on the matter, would you mind vacating my wheelhouse?" Strand asked them, beginning to feel crowded in the small room.

Madison leaned close to Travis, exchanging quiet words as Lumen got to her feet.

"You stay," Strand requested. She looked at him with mild surprise and returned to her seat. Chris looked ready to remain right where he was, when his father gestured for him to follow. He scowled.

"Chris," Travis warned for a second time.

The boy rolled his eyes and did as he was told, looking back at Lumen as he stuffed his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie and followed his father towards the staircase.

As the three left the room, Lumen looked over at Nick, noticing for the first time what he was wearing. She reached out and pinched at the sleeve of his shirt and he turned to her with a curious frown.

"What the hell, man? Where did you get that?"

He looked down at the polo shirt he had discovered in one of the cupboards, _Abigail_ embroidered in white letters against the blue material.

"You want one?" he asked with an amused smile.

"Well, I think the first mate should have the appropriate merchandise."

She glanced at Strand but he didn't seem to find their exchange particularly amusing, nor did he comment on her self-proclaimed title.

"We need to talk," he said, forcing them to recall every relationship-ending conversation they'd ever experienced.

"What happened back there? Is it something that I should be concerned about?"

Lumen knew right away that this wasn't Strand showing concern for her wellbeing; if anything, it was him being concerned for his own.

"No. Just…what we saw in the house. Brought up some old stuff. I'm fine now."

"Oh, I picked the soldier with PTSD. Great," Strand replied, as if he'd purchased defective goods.

Lumen's expression turned dark at his callous comment. "Fuck you."

"Hey, man, that's not cool," Nick said to him.

"Is this going to affect what I brought you along for, I guess is what I'm asking?" Strand went on, ignoring both reactions, "Will it affect your future performance?"

She stared up at him without bothering to mask her distaste to the line of questioning.

"No."

He sighed.

"Nicholas, leave us."

Nick frowned at him and glanced at Lumen. She gave him a reassuring pat on the knee to send him off, her expression dark as she relaxed back into the seat and focused on the captain, avoiding the teen's gaze. He got to his feet, not feeling at all comfortable about leaving her to deal with Strand on her own, but followed the request. As he reached the staircase, he looked back at Lumen. He wasn't convinced that she feeling as well as she claimed. Strand glanced at him, waiting, and under the pressure of his gaze Nick took his leave.

"You and I have an understanding, Lumen," Strand began when they were alone, pacing in front of the console, pausing to check the radar screen. "I believe honesty is part of that. We may not be friends, but as I recall from our initial conversation, part of your price was absolute transparency. I assume that goes both ways?"

"What's your point? You think I'm lying to you?"

He turned back to her and gave an impatient huff.

"What was that? Mental breakdown? A little too much reality for you?"

"You have no idea."

"Don't I?"

"You have no idea the shit I've had to deal with. The stuff I've witnessed. What you and the others have been exposed to doesn't even come close. And this was all way before the dead started walking again."

"So you should be used to it, then."

"It's the first time it's happened, okay? I doubt it will happen again."

"You ever talk to someone about it? I hear Madison's qualified if you need a sympathetic ear."

He smirked as if the idea somehow amused him and she rolled her eyes.

"I guess my main concern is if we happen to find ourselves in a sticky situation, who's to say you don't choose that moment to experience another little breakdown? Remember our agreement. You're here for one reason. If you're incapable of fulfilling your end of the bargain, you're of no use to me."

"Gee, don't start getting all sentimental on me. What are you going to do? Toss me overboard?"

He chuckled.

"I doubt that would go down well with the others, despite the recent show you put on. You've been making new friends, I see."

She threw him a confused look.

"The boy. The younger one. I didn't think it was your style, but who knows, maybe you're learning a thing or two."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she asked.

"You get the kids on your side and the parents are more likely to tolerate you. Just as I got Nick on my side, and here you are."

"Jesus," she said, shaking her head as she realized what he was getting at, "Not everything is about leverage, you know. And who says I tolerate you?"

"Oh, so that's not your game, then? You got a lot in common with sixteen year olds? Don't play me the fool, Lumen. Do whatever's necessary to keep these people in line. They can't seem to realize that you may be the only thing standing between them and their own stupidity, the only thing keeping them alive. So make them tolerate you. Oh, and I would suggest keeping your weapons with you at all times. Just in case."

"You've got a lot of trust issues, Victor."

"It's kept me alive this long," he replied with a calm smile, putting on his sunglasses and easing back into his captain's chair, soaking in the sun's last rays of the day as they spilled through the surrounding windows.

Taking this as her cue to leave, Lumen shook her head and headed to the galley, hoping to find something decent to eat.

* * *

"Chris. Hey, Chris, look at me. Listen to me."

Travis caught his son by the arm as Chris made an attempt to stalk back towards his room. He spun around and met his father with a sharp look, yanking his arm from his grasp.

"What?"

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Travis asked, disturbed by the constant look of hatred his son seemed to display towards him lately.

"What?" Chris asked again. "Do you need something, or can I go?"

He was used to his son's attitude, something that had reared its head not long after the divorce, and that seemed to have developed into an even deeper loathing since Madison had come into the picture. But even during their worst arguments, Chris had never raised a hand to him. He touched his hand to the cut on his lip, and recalled the look on his son's face as he had driven the pickaxe through the infected man's eye back on the beach. This was something new, something darker and much more dangerous, and he had no idea how to deal with it.

"Look, I want you to come up with the rest of us more, okay? I don't want you sitting in your room by yourself."

"I wasn't by myself," he replied quickly, his scowl slipping as he tested his father's reaction.

"You were in there with her the whole time?"

"Yeah. I was making sure-"

"Chris…"

"She needed help, okay? She was sick."

"Chris, come on. You can't-"

"How many times has she saved us now? And you guys treat her like she's a monster. Are you serious? We need her. We don't know shit about what's going on out there. We don't know how to survive. She can help us."

Travis stared at him, taking this in. He couldn't deny the potential benefits of having someone with Lumen's knowledge and training on their side. Still, Madison was right: they had to maintain their morality. It was the last remnant of civilized society they had to hold on to.

"If she needs the room, you should move your stuff down to the crew quarters with Nick and Alicia."

"It's fine."

Travis frowned, unsure what he meant by that. Surely he didn't think he could share the room with her.

Realizing what his words implied, Chris backpedaled, "She'll probably go back to sleeping where she used to."

"If she's sick, it might be nice to offer her a bed, Chris."

He hadn't been sleeping much anyway, so the bed was of little use to him, but the room had been the last place he'd seen his mother at peace. He wasn't quite ready to let go of that. Having learned that the best way to end an argument with his father was to make him think he had won, Chris nodded, making an effort to drop his scowl.

"I'll talk to her about it."

Travis reached out and gave his son's shoulder an appreciative squeeze, feeling him tense under his touch. He had tried, at least; he couldn't do much more than that. He turned to head back up the stairs, counting this as a small victory.

Watching him go, Chris's expression dropped back to one of disdain. As he reached the open door of his cabin, Chris stared into the room, his gaze landing on the empty space of the mattress that both his mother and Lumen had once occupied. Dropping down onto his side of the bed, he turned to the bedside table and picked up the postcard Lumen had given him back at the diner. Something small slipped off of it, landing on the floor with a metal clink. Reaching down, he grasped the chain and picked up his mother's necklace, holding it up to the light of the bedside lamp to admire the silver pendant of the Virgin Mary. The necklace had been Liza's grandmother's, passed down to her mother, then on to her. Chris couldn't remember ever seeing her without out. He had taken it off of her just before the funeral, unable to bear the thought of losing it to the sea. It was the only thing he had left to remind him of her; a small detail that he could still hold close. He placed it in his pocket for safekeeping, and began gathering up his belongings.

* * *

Alicia was relaxing on top of one of the bunks, listening to her iPod and staring up at the ceiling, when she saw her brother enter the room. He sat on the bottom bunk opposite her, deep in thought. Pulling one of her earbuds out, she rolled onto her side and propped herself up on her elbow, watching him.

"You okay?" she asked.

He glanced up and his expression became lighter for her benefit.

"Yeah. I think so. I can't stop thinking about what happened back there."

"What Lumen did?"

"No. Just…that family. It's never going to be the same for them."

Alicia paused her music and switched her iPod off, wrapping the headphones around it before placing it aside. This didn't sound like the kind of conversation she could manage with one ear and only half of her concentration.

"It's never going to be the same for any of us, Nick."

He stared at his sister, recognizing the distant look she seemed to get in her eyes often lately; the look of an accepted fate. The more she witnessed, the more she slowly came to terms with their situation and the new way of life. It hadn't taken Nick long to accept it, but then he wouldn't have made it long on the streets without his gift of adaptability.

"Have you talked to Chris lately?" she asked.

Nick's eyes flicked up to her once more. "Not really. He's keeping to himself a lot. I thought I'd give him space, you know, to deal with his mom."

Alicia's brow knitted with heavy thought. "I don't know. I mean, even when he stayed with us for Travis's weekends, he wasn't that antisocial. He always came around in the end."

"Yeah, cause you were there."

She threw her brother a look.

"He just needs to know people are there for him."

"We are. We're not exactly going anywhere, Alicia. We're all on the same boat." He snorted at his unintentional play on words and lay back on the bed, reaching up to pluck at the metal underwire of the bed above.

"Is Lumen awake?" Alicia asked, attempting to sound indifferent to the soldier's condition.

"Yeah," he replied, narrowing his eyes, "You don't have to give her any shit, though. Mom already took care of that."

She stared down at the floor and Nick could sense the mental debate going on. Lumen had at least made the effort to talk to Alicia, to try and get to know her. As one of the only other young females on the _Abigail_ , Nick could see Lumen lending a sense of comfort and confidence to his sister, especially since Ofelia seemed to keep to herself at Daniel's behest. He just wasn't sure how she felt about the soldier after the scene with Harry. He wasn't even sure how he felt about it. Hearing footsteps in the hall, they both looked up and found their stepbrother standing in the doorway with his backpack in his hand.

"Hey," he greeted sheepishly.

Nick sat up, observing his nervous behavior, "Hey, man."

"I thought I'd free up the room for Lumen, you know, in case she needs it again."

"Yeah, sure. Plenty of room in here, man," Nick invited.

Alicia offered her stepbrother her best attempt at a smile and he seemed to relax a little as he stepped into the room, dumping his belongings on top of the bunk across from hers. The Clark siblings exchanged a look before Alicia rolled onto her back once more and picked up her phone, looking through her selection of music. It was moments like these she wished they still had a WiFi connection, ready for her to scroll aimlessly through her Facebook feed to avoid unnecessary conversation. Nick forced back a smirk at her sudden ant-social behavior.

"I'm gonna go see what's left to eat," he told them, getting to his feet and stepping past Chris, "You guys want anything?"

"I'm good," Chris replied, glancing at his stepsister.

Alicia just shook her head, then recalled her empty water bottle and tossed it to him. "Please. Thanks."

He rolled his eyes at her hurried manners and moved off towards the galley.

* * *

He found Lumen in the galley with her back to him, bent over as she looked in the fridge with a granola bar sticking out of her mouth, and took the moment to her admire her from behind. Failing to find whatever she had been looking for, she turned around and jumped at the sight of him, taking the granola bar from her mouth to speak.

"Geez, Nick. A little warning."

"I thought you heard me," he grinned, eyes shooting up from her rear as he leaned back on the counter.

She aimed a playful kick at his shin, "Fucking perv."

Taking a large bite of the bar, she offered it to him with a look of mock-sincerity and he declined with a laugh. He didn't want to think about what she had done to Harry; he wanted to believe it had been a symptom of her breakdown, that it hadn't really been her. He liked her like this; playful and quick, joking around like she had when they had first met back in the pens. He didn't want to see her go through a breakdown like that again.

"You look better," he smiled. "What did Strand say?"

"Oh, you know, the usual 'if you're not well enough to do your job, you're no use to me'."

She leaned back on the counter beside him, arms crossed as she chewed thoughtfully.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. But, you know, he's growing on me. Once you get passed the whole 'gigantic fucking asshole' aspect, he's not so bad."

She eyed him carefully and he looked back at her with mild bemusement.

"You doin' alright?" she asked, taking another bite of the bar.

His gaze fell to the floor and he moved towards the sink to fill Alicia's bottle, a task that gave him an excuse to avoid the soldier's gaze. He knew exactly what she was talking about, but he didn't want to think about. What had happened with Willa was just another misfortune brought on by his addiction.

"Hey."

He looked up and found her offering a gentle smile that eased his mood significantly.

"We're gonna be alright," she told him. She finished the last of her granola and tossed the wrapper in the trash, giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder on her way past. As she reached the door, she turned back.

"Oh, hey, so what do you think about what happened with your mom? You think she'll leave it be?"

He chuckled but his expression was far from amused. His mother was not one to let things go; not when she thought she was right.

"I think you're off the hook. For now."

Lumen threw him a crooked smile, cocked her head in a kind of 'touché', and made her way up the stairs.

It was almost dark when she stepped outside, feeling the quiet calm of the ocean calling her name. She threw the blanket she had grabbed from the main room around her shoulders, grateful for the rare moment of solitude. Taking a seat by the railing, she stared down at the water. The headache was still pounding softly in the back of her head, waiting to rear up at the slightest indication of stress or discomfort, but she seemed to have it under control for now.

The attack had come on so suddenly. She tried to recall the details leading up to it and the feelings during, but her mind was doing a pretty good job of blocking most of it out. She didn't think of Willa, focusing instead on the moment she first began to feel that something was wrong. Strand had a good point; if they got into trouble, she couldn't afford to lose consciousness in the middle of a horde of infected. She forced herself to remember, hoping it might at least help her recognize the warning signs if there was a next time. She missed the simple days of jumping online and googling things.

Find: _anxiety attacks_. _PTSD. How to deal with difficult colleagues_.

PTSD. One the men from her squad in Afghanistan had committed suicide not long after one of their rotations. The officers had put it down to untreated psychological distress, encouraging any of the other soldiers worried about their mental state to seek help; but it seemed a pretty common thing. She heard of at least two a month, and knew there had to be more they didn't hear about. She had seen some pretty horrible things on tour, but she had always been able to push it down and get another night of dreamless sleep – a feat she thanked her unconscious mind for every morning. But she had known it would catch up with her one day. During an undead apocalypse just seemed like such inconvenient timing.

Just as she began to settle into her cozy spot on the bench, cushions positioned just right, she heard the door to the main room slide open. She cursed to herself for the interruption, but turned and spotted Chris approaching carrying two steaming mugs and a look of uncertainty. She looked him up and down with a curious stare and he seemed to grow even more uncomfortable under her gaze.

"Thought you could use this," he said, holding out one of the cups with a nervous smile. She accepted it and couldn't maintain her composure any longer, a large smirk spreading across her face.

"Why are you acting so weird?" she laughed, shuffling over to make room for him to sit. "It's almost as if you've seen me naked or something."

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" he frowned, unappreciative of the teasing, taking a tentative seat beside her.

She chuckled, "Look, it's either I joke about it, or I feel incredibly uncomfortable every time I'm around you. And I'd rather it not be like that, so humor me a little."

He stared down into his cup before taking a sip.

"I took my stuff out of the room," he told her, on a more serious note, "If you want to move in there permanently. If you're still not feeling the best."

"I'm feeling fine," she assured him, "You keep it. I wouldn't know what to do with a comfortable bed and my own space."

"I should try to spend time with the others, anyway." His father's words tasted bitter in his mouth.

"You really don't want to share with me?" she joked with mock-disappointment, and he had to look at her to make sure she was joking. Of course she was, but he couldn't deny it put thoughts in his head.

He glared at her, then turned his focus back down to his mug.

"Come on, it was a joke, man," she grinned, nudging him playfully. He looked back at her and finally gave in, allowing himself a small smile as he settled back against the bench.

"Thanks for the drink. I didn't even know we had tea on board."

"I had to call in some favors," he said, glancing sideways to see if she approved of his attempt at a joke. She chuckled and they settled into a comfortable conversation, unaware they had an audience.

Travis stood in the main room watching the pair as Madison poured drinks for them behind the bar. He hadn't seen Chris smile that much since even before Liza's death. Conflicting thoughts passed through his mind, but he chose to ignore them for now, focusing instead on the beautiful woman holding out a tumbler of whiskey for him. He smiled and took it from her, following her down towards the bedroom.

Strand watched his soldier from the topmost deck. She had seemed so convinced that she wasn't manipulating the vulnerable passengers with what he supposed, for her, passed as charm. Yet here she was, chatting up a teenager like her objective wasn't to force his parents' compliance. She already had Nick under her thumb, and since the Alicia seemed a little too bright for manipulation, Travis's boy seemed the easier target. Maybe she was smarter than he gave her credit for after all. He chuckled to himself and turned back to the wheelhouse. Maybe she was finally going to prove more useful than a simple gun-for-hire.

* * *

"Just try, okay, before you end up passing out on the deck," Lumen said to Chris as they made their way downstairs towards their rooms. They had attempted to lower their voices in respect for their sleeping shipmates, but, used to using hand signals for silent communication, Lumen seemed to have trouble whispering, which made Chris laugh all the more. She had convinced him to try and force himself to get a decent night's sleep, offering suggestions to help shut out the horrible events of the past week, even though he still didn't seem to think himself capable of doing so.

"Night," he grinned, reaching the crew quarters and turning back to her.

"Night," she smiled, watching him go.

Grabbing a towel from the linen closet, Lumen collected her long-abandoned garments from the laundry and ducked into the stateroom to check for any useful items of clothing before she headed for the shower. She smiled as she spotted the gift lain out on the bed: a blue polo shirt with _Abigail_ embroidered on the chest.

* * *

 **A/N: I apologize for the delay with this one, but it's my longest chapter yet! Life seemed to get in the way a lot during the process of writing this, but I want to thank my writing buddy anr017 for her continued support and encouragement, as well as the awesome ideas she helps me with. I'd also like to thank FriendlyNeighborhoodHufflepuff, Candace, angelicedg, AJ Granger and rachel101448 for reviewing! I noticed a number of you made mention of a preference for a Nick/Lumen romance. I have planned this story out up to where the show is currently, so all I can say is that I hope you like where I go with things.**

 **The music for this chapter was:** _ **Villain**_ **by Thom Yorke, for the dream sequence,** _ **The Troubles**_ **by Lykke Li & U2, which I feel fits the theme of this chapter, and of course its namesake _Dazed and Confused_ by Led Zeppelin.**

 **Once again, thank you for reading, and I appreciate any feedback and reviews.**


	11. Chapter 11: Teenagers - Part One

**Chapter Eleven: Teenagers - Part One**

Sergeant Attebury stood by the chain-link fence, watching the young addict whose life she had saved just two nights earlier. He appeared to be resting peacefully on the military cot, though she could still make out a thin sheen of sweat across his forehead. Gazing at his sleeping form, she barely heard a word the man across from her was saying.

"…and this is how they think to help the huddled masses? You strike me as someone who takes pride in her humanity. Surely this is not a place you want to be?"

She turned her gaze back to the well-dressed prisoner, bored by his attempts to coax her.

"You want to get to the point? Can it with the flattery, for Christ's sake."

Strand smiled, dropping his act instantly. "You're smarter than I gave you credit for."

She narrowed her eyes but a small smile appeared on her face. "The first honest thing you've said all night. Now, what are you selling?"

"I need an individual with your skillset."

"For what?"

"I have a plan to get out of this mess. Away from the infected and frightened hordes."

She stared at him, considering this for a moment.

"I heard you already tried this on Lieutenant Allen."

Strand chuckled. "As a matter of fact, yes. He proved useful…to a point. "

"Doesn't sound like him at all."

"I managed to get some information out of him, but left out the finer details of my own plan. I don't need someone who's only going to stay in line as long as I'm filling their pockets. The only thing a man like him understands is money and power, and I can only offer him so much of both. I can't take the risk of him turning on me the minute he realizes the old currency is useless now. You on the other hand…I need someone I can trust."

"And you think that's me?"

"I see the way you look at the people in here. And I've seen the way you look at your superiors. You don't want to be here."

"I don't particularly want to be back out there, either."

She screwed up her face as her mind flooded with memories of the outside world. Guarding the pens was practically a vacation.

"You don't have to be."

Her eyes shot up to the handsome stranger's face. Though she could tell he was well-practiced in the art of the sell, she couldn't deny that she found his mysterious offer intriguing.

"Alright," she began, glancing around to make sure there were no other soldiers within earshot, "I'll listen to what you have to say, on one condition. You need to be straight up with me. I'm talking complete transparency. Whatever this plan is that you've been concocting, I need to be in on every single detail. No 'need to know basis' bullshit."

He smirked, and she could already see just how difficult it was going to be for him to stick to the simple condition.

"And how will you know if I'm telling the truth?"

"The majority of these guys might be National Guard, but I was trained by the US Marines. Trust me. I'll know."

"You going to waterboard me?"

"If you have some other method you prefer, then by all means, I'm happy to cater."

He chuckled. "Force feed me another bowl of that soup they serve us. It's enough to make any man talk."

Behind him, the teenager stirred in his cot, waking up long enough to roll over and vomit into the bucket on the floor beside him. The thick twang of liquid hitting metal punctured their conversation.

"I'll be bringing the boy, too," he said, as the teen fell back into an uncomfortable doze.

The sergeant's brow creased. "You don't think he'll slow us down? He's not looking so good."

"You want to leave him here? Won't be long before he ends up through those big, swinging doors of yours," he said, glancing towards the exit that many prisoners had disappeared through.

"Why don't we just take everyone along for the ride?" she joked, gazing down at the kid.

"Yes, I'm sure they'll be more than willing to follow one of their guards to supposed safety. I can see trust written all over their faces. Or are those bruises?"

"Okay, so what's the plan?"

"I have a yacht anchored off the coast, not far from here."

"Whereabouts?"

"Would you like to know where I keep the keys too?" he asked.

"Yeah, that would be really helpful. Thanks." She turned to look at him with a condescending smile. "Like I would do that. I mean, all things considered and the current state of the world, could you blame me if I did? But, no. That would be a real dick move on my part."

"Yes, it would be a real 'dick move'," he agreed, her crude words sounding foreign on his tongue, "My trust is not that far-reaching."

"What's the plan with this yacht? Live out the rest of our years on the water?"

"I have a destination in mind."

"You have someone waiting for you? What's her name?"

"Thomas."

Her eyes flicked up to meet his. "Odd name for a lady," she joked, before clearing her throat. "Apologies for the assumption."

"From what I understand, you have a strict 'don't ask, don't tell' policy."

"They're working to repeal it."

"Can I assume you have no issues?"

"Not if there's a yacht in it for me," she chuckled, "Doesn't make a lick of difference to me. Where's Thomas now?"

"Waiting for me at his property. We had a plan in place once things started to go down. We'll need to pick up his assistant along the way, but should you agree to come along, that shouldn't be a problem."

"Where is this property?"

"San Diego," he tested, watching her response.

A bark of laughter escaped her before he even had the chance to finish his answer.

"I came from the base there. We'd be lucky to find Shamu still kicking. Now tell me where it really is."

An almost genuine smile appeared on his face, now certain that he had chosen his soldier well. He divulged the true details of his plan, leaving out only the location of the yacht, should his judgement of her turn out to be poorly founded. But Victor Strand was rarely wrong.

* * *

"Are you there? Can you hear me?"

"No luck?" Lumen asked, but the captain held up a finger to silence her. She shoved her hands into her jean pockets, stifling an eyeroll as she paced towards the window. Down on the deck below, Chris and Nick sat chatting over a game of chess. Travis, perched beside his son, motioned to one of the pieces, but Chris shook his head, pushing his father's hovering hand out of the way. Moving his preferred piece, Chris's confident smile fell away as Nick swooped in with his rook and took out the misplaced knight. Risking a glance at his dad, Chris stared down at the board, contemplating his next move.

"Yes, I'm coming. We're on the Capistrano Bight. Eighty miles north-northwest of-"

Strand took the phone from his ear and shook it, pressing a couple of the buttons and cursing the unreliable technology.

"I don't think that's going to help," Lumen said, as he threw her an irritated look and smacked it against his palm. He placed the satellite phone back in its secure draw and turned to her.

"I'm sending you and Nick ashore when the time comes to retrieve Luis."

"Why both of us? I can manage on my own. I'll take the launch-"

"No. No launch. No noise. I don't want to rouse suspicion."

"You expect me to swim to the shore?"

"Nicholas has already agreed."

He watched her face twist in suppressed rage as she realized she had already taken the bait.

"Let me guess, 'fuck me'?" he said, leaning back in his captain's chair, hands behind his head.

"You got that right," she scowled, turning back to the window, "So when is this insanity happening, exactly?"

"It'll be at night, when you won't be seen. I need you both to do this. There's no way Madison would allow Nick to leave her sight, let alone go ashore. With or without you by his side."

"I still don't understand why you need us both to go," Lumen replied, though she knew she would never let Nick go on his own.

"In case anything happens. I need at least one of you to make it back alive with Luis. This way, the odds are more likely to play out in my favor."

She turned her head to tell him exactly what she thought of his plan, and the boat lurched forward. She threw a hand against the glass to steady herself as they came to sudden stop. Down below, Travis put his hands up as he told the boys to stay put, racing up the staircase towards the bridge.

Footsteps sounded on the staircase from the main room, and Madison appeared with Daniel.

"What happened?" Travis asked, joining them.

Strand scanned the console, tapping the electronic outlay of the Abigail as he spotted the problem.

"The engine's out."

He reached below and pulled out a heavy-looking manual, dumping it on the nearest bench as Madison and Daniel exchanged glances.

"I'll take a look," Travis volunteered, stepping up to the thick volume, "I'm pretty good with this kind of stuff."

"Knock yourself out."

"Maddy, would you go grab my glasses for me? They're on the nightstand."

As Madison hurried back down towards their stateroom, Daniel stepped forward to take a closer look at the monitor, just to be sure this wasn't some ruse on the captain's behalf. Strand eyed him, irritated by the constant scrutiny, and then threw a look at his soldier.

"You can hotwire a car, but you can't look at an engine?" he asked her.

"Do I really need to explain the difference between a car and a boat to you?"

Madison reappeared and passed the requested item to her boyfriend, staying by his side as he flicked to the first page. Lumen glanced back over at Travis and watched as he ran his finger down the index page and flipped to the appropriate section. Within a few minutes, he had an answer for them.

"Okay, so the seawater is what's cooling the engines…" he began, eyes scanning the page to double-check his facts, "No water, the engine overheats."

"So…?" Strand pressed.

"So there must be something blocking the water intake," Travis finished, glancing around at the others.

"Pull out whatever's blocking it, and get us the hell out of here," the captain ordered, receiving and irritated look in return.

"We might have to go under the boat to find what's blocking it."

"I'll go get the diving equipment, then," Strand said.

"Alright, just give me a sec," Lumen replied. The two men turned to her.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Strand asked, watching her tie her hair back in the familiar tight braid she had worn when guarding the pens, "You're not going."

"I used to dive off the Keys with my parents every summer," she argued, "I don't see why–"

"You know exactly why." He turned to look at Travis. "You know how to dive?"

It took Travis a moment to grasp the right response, distracted by the man's refusal to give a trained marine the potentially dangerous task. "Yeah, sure."

"Rock-paper-scissors?" Lumen suggested, turning to him.

"No," Strand replied, his expression now one of warning.

"Why can't she go?" Daniel asked, suspicion growing, throwing Madison another meaningful look.

"She's been unwell. Wouldn't want her passing out underwater now, would we?" He looked back between the two, stony expression cautioning them against any further questions.

Madison's eyes narrowed briefly before she turned to her boyfriend, unsure he was up to the task. Travis was a man of many talents; she knew he was perfectly capable of fixing whatever was wrong with the boat. But there could be anything lurking below. After the amount of infected they saw floating in the water by the upturned wreckage, the last thing she wanted to be doing was sending him into danger.

"Travis, it's not safe down there."

Strand turned to her.

"I think your man's already decided."

* * *

Lumen watched Travis break the surface of the water as Madison ran to the edge of the deck to help him back aboard. He had come up way too fast. Something wasn't right. Ripping out his mouthpiece, he slid his mask back over his drenched hair.

"What? What is it?" Madison asked him, as he wiped the water from his face.

He glanced between them, face pale. "There's a body blocking the intake. One of the infected."

"Oh, geez."

"I didn't have a weapon on me…"

"So what now?" Madison asked him.

"I'll check down in the engine room, but I'm going to have to go back under, Maddy."

The older woman turned to look at Lumen, hoping she would volunteer to take the job since Strand wasn't around to say otherwise. But the soldier's attention had been drawn to the three kids above, who stood staring over the railing, watching the situation unfold with concerned faces.

* * *

"Oh my god."

Lumen covered her nose with the back of her arm as she watched liquid excrement flow out of the pipe Travis had just opened. It hit the bottom of the bucket with a stomach-churning splash, splattering up against the sides.

"That's some nasty shit," Strand commented, following Lumen's example as he watched the other man work.

Travis coughed and turned away. "Yeah it's all the way down along those pipes and backing up the whole system."

"Can you fix it?"

"I can try," he replied, trying his best to ignore the unimpressed look he received, "I need to pull that poor bastard out of the intake, pump this sludge out, and see if this infiltration system still works."

Strand had allowed him just enough time to shower after his dive, before practically forcing him into the engine room, loath to delay any longer.

"How long?"

"Look, boats aren't really my forte…"

"How long?" Strand pressed.

"All day. More or less. I've essentially got to feel my way through it. I mean, look at the state of this," he said, motioning to the cloudy window of the intake pipe, "If that filter's gone…"

"We don't have all day. Get it done."

Unappreciative of the captain's tone, Travis took a step towards him. "Look, man, I'm not the help."

"Clearly," Strand quipped, catching Travis's scowl darken as he glanced at the silent soldier. She looked up, eyes sympathetic, having dealt with enough of Strand's abuse herself.

"I've upset you," the captain went on, "Forgive me if I neglected certain niceties in light of our current predicament. You are a skilled technician and a viable member of this team. Now, pretty please, fix the goddamn boat."

Tired of playing to his guests' fragile egos, not to mention the vile smell filling the room, Strand stepped out and headed above deck. Travis stared after him, then turned back to Lumen.

"You look like you know what you're doing," she commented.

"You sound like you have more faith in me than he does."

"Please. I'm pretty sure I have more faith in humanity in general, than he does."

She stuck her head out the door to make sure their captain was well and truly out of earshot, then looked back.

"If you want, I can go take care of the guy in the intake."

Travis glanced over at her, contemplating the offer as he loosened another bolt. After a moment, he shook his head.

"I know where he is now. Plus it'll give me a chance to look at the other end of this thing," he said, tapping the pipe with his wrench. She nodded and moved to leave.

"I saw you talking to Chris last night."

She stopped, nodding as she began to wonder where he was going with this.

"How'd he seem?"

She frowned, but replied, "About as well as a kid who's gone through what he has can be, I guess."

Focusing on his work, Travis nodded.

"I think he just needed someone to lend an ear," she went on, "Not to talk shit on you or Madison. I know we've all had a lot on our plates. Sometimes we forget to stop and regroup."

"Trust me, it's not for lack of trying with him."

Lumen recalled the cut on his lip after he had returned from a little 'talk' with his son.

"He's always been moody. I mean, ever since Liza and I divorced…but he's never been violent before."

He resumed loosening the bolt, ignoring the grief that ripped through him at the mention of his ex-wife.

"What do you think? I mean, in your experience?" He paused and looked over at her.

She waited for him to elaborate, taking a guess when he didn't, "With… violence?"

"Yeah. Between you and me. Should I be worried?"

"Well, he's not about to go all 'Full Metal Jacket' on us, if that's what you mean. I've seen men snap under a lot less pressure. I think he's better adjusted than you give him credit for."

He gave her a grateful nod, grunting as he went to work on loosening next bolt.

"I thought you didn't trust me," she said.

"You were right about the kids on the island. You protected us even after we went against your decision. You've put yourself between us and the infected..." Repeating Chris's words, he began to realize his son might be right. "I think we should be following someone with some actual experience."

"Madison doesn't seem too keen. And Daniel…well, let's just say I'm happy to be staying in a room with a locking door now."

"I wouldn't worry about the Salazar's. They were cautious when we took shelter in their home, too. And Maddy…She's just happy Nick's keeping clean. She credits that to you and Strand. This is the first time I've seen him focused." He dropped the wrench with a heavy clang and reached for an empty bucket as he continued to work, looking back over at her in the doorway as she began to climb the steps. "One thing before you go."

She looked back at him, face half-hidden by shadows cast by the low-hanging ceiling.

"What do you really know about what Strand's up to?"

After the air-clearing conversation they had just shared, it pained her to lie, but she knew had to maintain her end of the bargain with the captain. Forcing down whatever semblance of honor she retained, she replied, "About as much as you guys know," and left him to his labor.

* * *

Up on deck, assured that Travis had things under control, the three teenagers kept themselves busy with tasks assigned by Strand. Alicia stood by the railing, scanning the horizon through a pair of binoculars she'd nabbed from Chris. Although Strand had specifically asked that she keep an eye out for any unwanted visitors, considering their current state of vulnerability, she quickly found herself growing bored.

"See anything?" Lumen asked, leaning forward on the metal barrier.

Alicia shook her head. "How long did Travis say it would take?"

"A day, maybe."

"Seriously?" Alicia sighed, knowing there was no alternative, and aimed the binoculars towards the nearby shoreline.

"Hey, boys?" Lumen said, turning back to Nick and Chris as Strand handed them fishing rods, their given task to catch the ship's next few meals, "Think you could catch something a little more, you know, aesthetically pleasing this time? The eel was great and all, but it was ugly as all-" she paused as Strand threw her a look, knowing her next word was either of the 'f' or the 's' variety, so she surprised him by finishing, "…hell."

"Sure. I'll try and reel you in a pearl necklace while we're down there, too," Nick replied.

"Nick, if you want to give me a pearl necklace, you know all you need to do is ask."

Nick snorted, Chris glancing between them as the crude joke went over his head, and Strand grasped her shoulder like a man about to give some important advice.

"You are truly disgusting," he said instead, clapping her on the back before heading back towards the bridge.

Noticing for the first time their matching shirts, Lumen gestured to Nick. "One of us is going to have to change. I mean…"

"Hey, I had mine first. What's wrong with being matching?" he replied, one eye squinting against the sunlight as he looked over at her with a playful smirk on his lips.

"Well, now Chris is feeling left out." She tipped the younger teen a wink to ensure him she was only teasing, trying to rope him into the conversation, but he could only smile as his cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. The moment was interrupted as Alicia came running towards them, calling out to her mother, who sat speaking with Daniel in the main room. Despite her distressed appearance, all Strand did as she passed him was chide the girl for running on his deck. She threw him a look before joining her siblings by the seats.

"What's wrong?" Lumen asked. Alicia handed her the binoculars and pointed towards the shore, turning back to make sure her mother was on the way. Expecting to see other survivors, or failing that, a horde of infected, Lumen was surprised to find a shoreline scattered with luggage. She passed the binoculars to Nick just as Madison joined them, closely followed by Daniel, roused by the commotion.

"What is it?" Madison asked.

Alicia held out her hand for the binoculars, which had worked their way to Chris, and passed them to her mother, pointing towards the beach.

"Holy shit. Where'd that wash up from?"

Alicia looked back at her mother, eyes pleading as she voiced her idea, "We need supplies."

"Alicia, no."

"I've been watching. There's no one there. There's no infected. Come on, mom, there's stuff just lying there."

"There's infected in the water."

Alicia frowned. "We're not going to swim."

At the mention of swimming, Lumen glanced at Nick. Despite appearing to understand the context of her look, he reached out for the binoculars once more.

"It's a yard sale," he smiled, as he surveyed the scattering of suitcases, "I'll go."

Chris got to his feet, not one to be left out, "I'm with you."

"If they're going," Alicia told her, "Then I'm going."

"Listen to me, all of you. Look, if anything were to happen to you…"

"Anything already did happen to us. We're all in it. So stop putting us at the kids table," Alicia reasoned, silencing any further protests her mother could come up with. Madison gazed at her, hoping she would simply drop it, but she knew from experience that once Alicia had an idea in her head, there was no stopping her. She was just like her mother in that regard.

"I'll watch her," Chris reassured Madison, receiving a death glare from his step sister in return.

"You're gonna get slapped! Look, we'll take Lumen with us, okay?" Alicia added, receiving a look from the soldier, who had been busy scanning the coastline for any sign of movement, "If we run into any danger, she'll help."

Lumen glanced between Madison and Daniel then looked back towards the shore. "I do need more clothes. I can't keep borrowing off Alicia."

"Exactly. Plus they're a little snug on you. No offense."

Madison threw her daughter a look for the inappropriate comment, but Lumen seemed unperturbed.

"None taken. I guess that's what a decade of active combat duty will do to you."

Nick had trouble seeing what Alicia meant. His sister's jeans wrapped snugly around the soldier's strong legs and backside; enough to be appealing but not to seem too constricting. The _Abigail_ emblazoned t-shirt she wore was a little looser, except for around the arms, where the material stretched to accommodate her biceps. It was the hardened body of a soldier, ready to respond to any given situation. Catching his step brother openly admiring the soldier's body, Chris felt himself tense. He turned away just as his father appeared from below deck.

"We all need new clothes. We need more meds," Nick added, supporting his sister's argument. Alicia smirked, knowing her mother was more likely to give in if Nick was behind the idea.

"We're going ashore, dad," Chris said, passing his father as he went to grab his backpack from the crew's cabin.

"Like hell you are," Travis replied. He looked to Madison for an explanation.

Alicia's expression darkened at the sound of his protest. Any influence Nick had had over Madison dissipated under Travis's gaze.

"We weren't asking for permission," she said.

"Excuse me?"

Daniel, who had been standing in silent contemplation while the others argued, thinking of his own daughter's needs, decided to lend his voice to the decision.

"The girl is right. We're wasting time."

Madison and Travis gazed at each other in silent conversation before turning to Lumen.

"You're going with them too?" he asked her, just to be sure.

She nodded with what she hoped was a reassuring smile, "Yeah. I'll keep them safe. Don't worry."

Throwing a final look at Daniel, knowing he would keep an eye on the soldier should she decide to make any reckless decisions, Madison gave them a final nod of approval.

* * *

Lumen had grabbed any empty bags she could find, borrowing a duffle bag from Strand after a quick explanation, as well as some empty plastic bags she found in the galley. Checking her rifle and sidearm, she found both running low on ammunition, cursing herself for not thinking to grab some back at the compound. Strapping her combat knife to her thigh, she joined the others on the deck. Chris had helped Nick ready the launch for them, Alicia already waiting inside it while the others passed her empty bags to be filled with each passenger's requested items.

As her father stepped into the launch, Ofelia stood clutching a piece of paper with her sizing and a couple of additional items scrawled onto it. Despite the warm weather, she still had a blanket draped over her shoulders, her complexion paler than previous days.

"Hey, if you see anything that's not completely awful," Ofelia began, holding out the paper to Alicia. Nick intercepted it as he passed, throwing the older woman a smirk.

"I got you," he assured her.

"I can't do geriatric chic."

"What's wrong with geriatric chic?" he grinned, and she chuckled. Used to this sort of banter with Lumen, Nick glanced over at her. She stood nearby at the edge of the swimming platform, gazing off across the water, one hand resting on the strap of the rifle slung over her shoulder. In rare moments like this, when everyone else was too distracted to notice, he saw a different side of her appear, not unlike the side he had witnessed during her trauma-induced episode; her expression disturbed, no trace of humor present as she sunk into dark contemplation.

"You okay?" Chris asked, closest to her from his position in the raft, attempting to tame his hair as it whipped around in the ocean breeze. She broke from her thoughts and offered a distant smile. "I don't think we'll have any trouble," he added, hoping to ease whatever uncertainty she was feeling. She hopped down beside him, adjusting her rifle, and took a spare hair tie from her wrist.

"Here," she said, offering it to him. He accepted with a smile and pulled his long hair back into a ponytail.

"Okay, get in and get out. Grab what you can," Madison told them, before turning to Lumen, her expression imploring, "You watch them. Don't let anything happen to them."

Lumen nodded, keeping her expression serious to ease the mother's concern. "Yes, ma'am. Daniel has my back, right old man?" He threw her a look but gave Madison a nod.

She stepped back as they positioned themselves on board, Daniel standing by the motor while he waited. "Grab warm clothes, too," Madison said to them, a final wary expression as they prepared to take off. "Jackets, sweaters. It's cold out on the water."

Daniel glanced at the soldier before leaning forward to check they were clear of any lines. "It will be warmer in Mexico," he stated, voice low, throwing Madison a meaningful glance.

"What does that mean?" She frowned, looking over at Lumen, but the woman was relaxed back against the side of the raft, engaged in a conversation with the others about what they might find ashore.

"Our _capit_ _á_ _n_ has a destination in mind. He has from the start. I found charts, a map for a location in Baja."

"You think she knows?"

Daniel nodded.

Madison took a moment to process this. "Have you asked him about it?

"I think that conversation would not end well. Perhaps you should. You'll be more…diplomatic."

"I'm not known for my diplomacy." She stuck her hands in her back pockets and stepped away from the landing, watching her children as though she were sending them off to war. She prayed that if that turned out to be the case, they had the right soldier to lead them through it.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so sorry about how long it has taken me to get these out (this is a two-part update, the second update is about 90% complete right now). I'm still processing the season finale and what it's going to mean for this story. Luckily, we're still a while off from that. Now that the show is on hiatus, I'll have more time to work on the section of the story I'm actually up to. We've got a couple of weeks before the** _ **Walking Dead**_ **premiere, so in that time I should be able post a few new updates…fingers crossed.**

 **My thanks go out to angelicedg, chaosrachel, MissTeller-Ortiz-Dixon, rachel101448, and as always, my constant supporter anr017. A special mention to DarkFireAngel00 for the super sweet message. You guys really help kick my motivation into gear. Thanks again, and as always, any feedback is appreciated.**


	12. Chapter 12: Teenagers - Part Two

**Chapter Twelve: Teenagers – Part Two  
**

The first thing they noticed as they landed was the stillness of the landscape. Huge sand dunes rose up on either side of them, taking away any opportunity to properly survey their surroundings. Lumen walked on ahead, rifle in hand, telling the others to hold back while she checked things out. She climbed the closest sand dune and paused at the top to look around. She dropped her head in solemn reverence before turning back and gesturing for them join her.

It was a graveyard. Twisted metal from the body of an airliner stood amongst the scattered suitcases and blackened bodies of the passengers. Lumen nudged one of the dead with her foot just to be sure, but as she had predicted, there were no survivors; infected or otherwise. The impact of the crash had left their insides rattled beyond regeneration. Chris watched Lumen inspect the bodies, intrigued by her lack of emotion as she looked down at them. Stopping by one of the corpses, he stared, testing his own resolve in the face of death.

"Try not to think about it," the soldier advised, giving his shoulder a squeeze as she pushed past him, mistaking his curiosity for shock.

The adventure had suddenly lost its element of novelty. They continued on in silence until they found an area more devoid of death.

"Everyone where I can see you," Daniel said as they began to spread out. He glanced at the soldier and she turned, feeling his gaze.

"You're not going to have a look?" she asked, dropping her empty duffel bag by her feet.

His wary expression didn't falter as he watched her unsling her rifle. "Bad luck to steal from the dead."

"Bad luck enough to have no supplies." She frowned as he continued to stare, quickly growing uncomfortable. "What's the problem?"

"Did you know he was taking us to Mexico?"

"Where'd you hear that?" she replied, but his sharp gaze urged her to reconsider her response. "Baja? Yes."

His eyes narrowed at her easy confession. It seemed pointless for her to keep up the charade now.

"I knew we should not have trusted you." He looked back over at the teenagers rummaging through their chosen suitcases, shielding his eyes from the bright sun. Chris looked over at his step siblings, toeing open a suitcase before wandering up one of the dunes, heading away from the small group.

"Chris!" Lumen called. He jumped and turned to look at her. "Not too far, okay?" she said. He nodded, a mumbled 'whatever' barely reaching her ears.

"You need his boat as much as I do," she continued to Daniel, eyes still trained on Chris. "The way I see it, it really doesn't matter where we go anyway."

"Why is that?"

"Why would it matter? There's no escaping this. It's the same everywhere."

"How do you know this?"

She glanced at him, meeting his eyes for a moment. "The military had a steady flow of intel for the first few weeks. From what I could gather, this thing is spreading out of control. Everywhere."

"All over the world?"

"I don't see why not. You get a single infected person on any flight leaving the US and, assuming they somehow make it into the next country before they turn…I don't know exactly how far-reaching this thing is, what caused it, all that."

"They did not tell you?" he asked, skeptical about any answer she might give.

"No. The only real intel I got was from breaking into my lieutenant's office. Even then I don't think he was being kept entirely in the loop. You think I'm lying again, don't you?"

"I remember a conversation the first day on the boat. You told me I could ask anything, you had no reason to lie anymore."

She held up a finger to stop him before he could misquote her any further. "I said you didn't have to flay me to get an answer. I never said anything about telling you the truth."

He shook his head at her and picked up the set of binoculars around his neck, looking out across the surrounding expanse of sand.

"So how _did_ you find out? Strand keeps that stuff under lock and key."

Daniel dropped the binoculars down for a moment. "Some secrets are meant to found." He raised the binoculars again and continued to survey the area, looking out towards the boat before slowly making his way back towards the surrounding hills.

Lumen looked down at Nick, smiling as she watched him pluck a broad, white sunhat from one of the suitcases and set it down on his head before continuing his search.

"How is it you know about torture?"

She turned back to face Daniel, his question tugging away some of her smile.

"Working with Strand, mostly." Catching his disapproving expression, she went on. "I served in Afghanistan for most of my tours. It was part of our training. What about you? Torture techniques, weapons knowledge. Were you military, too?"

He stared at her.

"Where are you from originally?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"El Salvador," he replied after a moment, keeping his gaze trained forward. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a look of understanding creep over her. "You know about it?"

"Some. Yeah. Explains a lot."

"How so?"

"Why you don't trust the military," she replied, as Nick called out to her. Daniel watched as she shouldered her weapon, grabbed her bag and headed down towards the closest cluster of luggage, only just able to hear her add, "Hell, even I don't trust the military."

"What have we got?" Lumen asked, dropping down beside Nick, who was now sans-hat and busy rifling through a new suitcase. Alicia glanced over, the sunhat now adorning her golden-brown locks.

"Hm, well…" Nick held up a skimpy, red negligee, glancing from the item to the unimpressed woman beside him.

"I don't know, Nicky. I don't think red's your color," she said. He smirked and stuffed it back in with the rest of the clothes. Realizing what he was wearing, Lumen couldn't help but stare. Aside from the disconcerting singe marks on the material, Nick managed to pull off the pilot's shirt very well. Then again, he seemed to have the inexplicable ability to pull off just about anything he threw on. All he needed now was the pilot's hat…Realizing her thoughts were wandering into the realm of strange kinks, Lumen smiled to herself and looked away, spotting instead Alicia's latest discovery; a gorgeous floral blue kimono.

"Hey, nice find!"

"It's mine," Alicia warned, "And you're not borrowing it."

Lumen chuckled. "Geez. Don't worry, I'll find something way better and you'll be the one begging me to let you wear it."

"Please. Camo was never my thing," she replied before moving off towards the next pile, past one of the smaller dunes.

Sitting beside him in the sand, Lumen felt Nick's gaze wander towards her again.

"So Strand told me about our little swim he's got planned," she said.

He nodded as he tossed her a black tank top. "I already agreed to go."

She held the top against herself, smiled, and tucked it into her duffel bag. "I know. Hence why I agreed to go, too. To make sure you don't get yourself killed out there. If it was up to me, I'd be going alone and I'd be taking the launch."

"You afraid of a little swimming?" he grinned, receiving a t-shirt to the face in reply.

Picking it up, he held it against himself and read the 'COKE' logo across the front. He glanced back at her to see if she had meant it as a joke.

"On second thought…" Lumen said, grabbing it from him and tossing it away, with an expression far from amusement. She pushed back the suitcase she was searching and got to her feet, brushing the sand from her legs. "Let's try a different area. Maybe Alicia's found something good." She turned and craned her neck, trying to get a glimpse of Chris, but he had wandered beyond her view. She could only hope that Daniel had eyes on him.

"Anything over here?" she asked Alicia as they caught up with her.

"Something for you," the younger woman replied. She tossed Lumen a blur of olive green fabric and the soldier caught it, holding it up for a better look. Putting it on over her blue polo shirt, she had to admit that the long, khaki vest actually did suit her, as much as she wanted to get away from the soldier look; though the rifle slung across her back probably wasn't helping much to accomplish that. She glanced down at the patches across the chest: an American flag, 'US army' embroidered above it, then on the right side, a collection of chevrons above the pocket. Though it was only a fashion item and not the genuine article, the soldier still felt some repulsion. She sighed as she touched the familiar rank patch.

"Can't escape it, huh," Nick commented as glanced over at his sister's gift.

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in," she replied with a sad smile. He chuckled, but his sister made a face.

"What's that from?"

"You've never seen the _Godfather_ movies?"

She shook her head, "Not really my taste."

"Rom coms?" Lumen guesses instead, and caught the girl rolling her eyes as she picked up her bag, which was full to the brim with all her finds. "What then? Just a general dislike of Italians?"

"There's a few more bags over there that I haven't searched yet," Alicia said, ignoring Lumen's immature jabs, walking back towards the shore, "I'm going to go dump this in the launch."

"Alright. You got a weapon?" Lumen checked.

"Do I need one?" she replied, before moving off again towards the shore.

"I guess not." Lumen watched her disappear over the dune, then looked over at Nick. "Think I came on a little too strong?"

"She's just… being Alicia," he replied. "You never had issues with your brother?"

Lumen approached the pile Alicia had mentioned, pausing at the mention of her deceased sibling. She stared off into space before she replied, "Yeah, of course. More than enough," and crouched in front of the biggest bag in the pile. From the sheer size of it, she hoped it held something wearable, or at least useful. Her duffel bag was feeling too light to even justify this supply run. She unzipped the lid, flipping it back to reveal its almost still-neatly-packed contents. Digging through the first layers, she was still finding it difficult to pinpoint the gender of previous owner. From the way it had been packed, she could have guessed female, but then some of the men she had served with packed a bag better than she could ever manage. Rummaging deeper, she grasped some magazines and yanked them out. Naked women adorned the covers in various stages of undress, some dressed playfully in schoolgirl outfits, other clad in more mature lingerie.

"I wonder if red negligee and this guy were a couple," she said to Nick.

He walked over and glanced down at the covers.

"You want them?" Lumen asked, holding them up as she used her other hand to continue her search.

"Nah. Was never really my thing."

"What kind of teenager doesn't like porn?"

He shrugged and wandered back to his own pile.

"Maybe I'll keep it for Chris," she said to him.

"You'd be one of those mom's, huh? Buying porn for their kids. Making sure they're stocked up on condoms."

"You mean a good mom?"

He chuckled, unzipping a backpack.

"Holy shit."

He turned to look at her, thinking something was wrong, and watched her pull out a worn leather motorcycle jacket. She brought it close to her nose and inhaled before throwing it on. Despite it being a men's jacket, it still managed to look good on her.

She reached in again as something else caught her eye. Opening the glasses case, she smiled. "Dude, this guy had some flair." She turned to Nick, now sporting a pair of aviators.

"This is it. This is all I needed to come here for," she chuckled to herself, resting the sunglasses on her head and stuffing a few t-shirts into her bag for good measure, before heading over to Nick. She crouched down in front of a suitcase he had abandoned, as she caught sight of the women's clothes inside, grabbing a black bra from the top. She checked the tag, then threw it back, disappointed. She hadn't found any close to her size yet, and the chances of doing so were starting to look slim. She really didn't want to have to rely on the one she was wearing, and going braless just seemed so impractical. Spying shiny material, she pulled out black bikini bottom and began rifling around for the top. If Strand's plan was to go ahead, she didn't want to be caught unprepared. Wet clothes would slow them down, but there was nothing worse than walking around dripping wet. She couldn't see it making a particularly good first impression on his associate.

"Jackpot," she heard Nick mutter.

"What have you got?" she asked, finally finding the second piece to the set and shoving it in her bag. Nick didn't reply right away, too busy sorting through the packets of medication. Lumen's expression changed as she watched him. "Oh, hey. Good find. Here, I'll put it in my bag," she said to him.

He finished reading the last label and looked up at her with a reassuring smile, "No, it's okay. Save the room for more clothes."

"Nick." Her expression was stony. She held out her hand, gesturing with her fingers.

"Lumen, come on. It's not like that."

"Nick, just give them to me. Please."

He started to put them into his bag when she reached over and snatched them from him. He held up his hands, taken aback by her sudden brash behavior. "Whoa. Lumen, hey, come on…"

She got to her feet, zipped up her bag and began to walk away.

"Lumen!"

"I'm going to find Chris," she called back over her shoulder, after a long pause. Nick watched her as she left, a deep frown settling on his features. Suddenly embarrassed, he got to his feet.

"You seen Chris?" Lumen asked Daniel as she reached the top of the dune.

He shook his head. "He can't have gone far."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't have to go far to find trouble, that kid."

Daniel looked at her, sensing the sudden change in mood.

"Can you watch Nick?" she asked him, pushing her sunglasses back on top of her head.

"Why? He is old enough. He does not need a babysitter."

"Please." Her serious expression caught his attention. "If he finds any more meds…just watch him, okay?"

"He found medicine?"

Lumen looked at him, reading the considerable interest in his voice.

"Yeah. Why?" But he wouldn't give her an answer. She dumped her bag in the sand next to him. "Look, just watch him, okay? I'm gonna go find this kid."

When the soldier had disappeared from view, Daniel put down his binoculars. He looked out in the direction she had come from, thinking of his daughter back on the boat; of her rapidly-declining health. If Nick knew where to find medication, he reasoned, Ofelia might still have a chance.

* * *

Someone had survived. Someone had survived not only the horrific plane crash that had drawn them to this patch of shoreline, but the remaining passengers who had become prisoners to their own seatbelts, and were now reanimated, holding out their arms to grab whoever had the misfortune of getting too close. Chris stared at the sections of broken spinal cord protruding from the man's back.

"Please," the man begged. "Please."

He knew what he was asking for. He knew what he had to do. But he wasn't sure if he could do it. He collapsed to the floor in front of the man, drawing his knees to his chest as he considered his options. He knew he only had two. Leave the man to his agony, head for the boat and try to forget he had seen anything. Or put him out of his misery. He looked the man in the eye. He couldn't imagine the sort of pain he was experiencing. Enough that death was the better option. He couldn't leave someone like that. Taking a deep breath, he pushed himself to his feet and began looking for a viable weapon. He paused as he realized there was a third option; go get someone who already had a weapon, and have them end the man's suffering instead.

No. He shook the idea from his head, as appealing as it was. He knew it would be Lumen, and he wasn't going to put her through that. She'd been through enough for them. He spotted a chunk of curved metal by the gaping hole in the side of the fuselage, and picked it up, testing it in his hands. Not enough weight, he decided. Tossing it aside, he picked up a larger piece. It felt right. Shaking, he stepped back towards the survivor. Chris dropped back down to his knees and looked the man in the eye one last time, making sure that this was definitely what he wanted. He looked up at the blunt instrument in the boy's hands and nodded, managing a weak smile of relief. Finally, an end to the agony.

Raising the piece of metal, preparing for first blow, Chris paused. Tears began to cloud his vision. He wiped his eyes against his shoulder and took a deep breath. The force of the first strike sent shockwaves up his arms and through his body. The man was bleeding, but it hadn't been enough. He struck again, praying for it to be over, but as he stared down at the messy fracture, he noticed the survivor's face twitch. For a moment, their eyes met. He looked almost calm, welcoming that final blow that would end his life. With a horrified sob, Chris began a barrage of harder and harder hits, grunting with each blow as he allowed the effort of the physical activity to distract him from his growing revulsion. He struck the survivor one final time, stopping when blood splattered up onto his shirt. Staring down at the mess of blood of bone matter, he caught sight of the man's damaged brain and dropped his implement, crawling backwards until his back hit one of the empty passenger seats. He pulled his knees back up to his chest and began to sob, trying to focus his gaze on the fuselage wall. He couldn't look at the mess he'd made. He couldn't face that he had just ended the life of another person.

Dropping his face into his folded arms, he heard a creak over by the entrance and looked up. Pale-faced, rifle in hand, Lumen stared down at the dead man before her eyes flicked up to meet his. He fought for words, for some sort of explanation, but all that came out was a choked sob. He shook his head and turned away, overcome with tears.

The soldier didn't say a word as she slung her rifle over her shoulder. She stepped into the wreck, caught sight of the passenger's grievous wound, and suddenly understood. She bowed her head for a moment.

"I couldn't…I tried to…" Chris began, his words thick with grief. He buried his face back into his arms, body shaking. He felt movement to his right, and an arm wrapped around him, pulling him close.

"It's okay, I've got you, Chris," she told him, while she stared down at the dead man's cracked skull and the brain matter leaking from within. "I've got you."

* * *

"Chris! Hey, Chris!"

Alicia marched up one of the tallest sand dunes, floral kimono billowing out behind her as she called out to her step brother. Not far from where she stood, she spotted footprints barely visible as the wind whipped up and started to cover them. She followed them up and over the crest, pausing when she caught sight of the large piece of wreckage. Feeling her heartbeat quicken, she found herself wishing she had taken up the soldier's offer of a weapon.

"Chris?"

She crept towards the ragged wreck, almost hoping she wouldn't find anything.

"Alicia, hey, we're both here. We're fine," Lumen sighed, stepping out from the fuselage. Alicia jumped at the soldier's sudden appearance, eyes wide. Glancing behind her, she saw Chris following closely, blood splattered and trying to mask his distress. For a moment, Alicia thought Lumen had done something to him, her mind traveling back to little Harry and the gun pressed to his head, but her step brother forced a smile, as if wondering why she looked so concerned. She nodded at the bloodstain on his shirt.

"Are you hurt?" she asked him.

It took him a second to realize what she was talking about, and he threw Lumen a quick glance before replying, "No. I'm- We were just…"

"We were looking for supplies," Lumen finished for him, sensing his hesitation, "I came looking for him, we saw this and thought it looked like it might have some decent stuff inside."

"Did it?" Eyes still wide, glancing between the two, Alicia began to feel that something wasn't right.

"No, just some infected. We took care of them."

"Both of you?"

Nodding, Lumen could feel the warmth of Chris's body as he kept close to her.

Gunshots sounded from towards the shore.

"Shit," Lumen cursed, unslinging her rifle and moving in the direction of the noise. "Stay behind me."

They didn't have to be told twice.

* * *

As they reached the shore, they found Daniel with an unfamiliar woman, both of them standing ready to fight off a fast-approaching horde of infected. Lumen flicked off her safety and began to shoot the closest of them. She glanced at Daniel and jerked her head in the direction of the strange woman, her expression enquiring. Firing a few rounds from his own smaller weapon, Daniel simply shrugged. Now was not the time for asking questions.

"Where's Nick?" Alicia called over the noise. Looking around, Lumen realized he wasn't with them. A sudden dread crept over her.

"I thought I asked you to watch him," Lumen said to Daniel, but her words were lost to the gunfire. She watched as the unknown woman grabbed one of the infected and pulled it to the ground, stabbing it through the eye, and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. She knew how to handle herself at least. Taking out three more of the infected with clean shots to the head, Lumen heard the sound she'd been dreading – the click of an empty magazine. Cursing, she slung the useless weapon back over her shoulder and took out her sidearm, only to empty it after two more hits. Now down to her knife, she walked out to meet the remaining members of the horde.

Chris stood frozen, clutching his makeshift weapon as he watched the soldier head straight towards the clawing hands. "Lumen!" Pulling himself together, he went after her. As one of them limped towards him, he raised his weapon to attack, but an image of the wounded survivor flashed through his mind. He hesitated. Lumen turned just in time to see the infected man grab Chris by the shirt. She came to his aid within seconds, stabbing the man through the temple and pushing him over the edge of the low cliff, where they now found themselves cornered.

More and more infected seemed to pour in from over the high dune, some losing their footing and tumbling down into the others below. Daniel was now using the butt of his revolver to fight them off, while the woman he had found continued to take them out with her improvised weapon. Alicia looked around, at a loss for what she could use to defend herself. Spying a long pipe caught beneath a stack of suitcases, she grabbed hold of it and pulled. It stuck fast under the weight. She continued to yank at it and looked up to see the infected closing in. She gave a cry of exertion and finally freed it, just in time to be grabbed by one of the dead.

"Alicia!" Chris called, but he was unable to reach her, completely surrounded.

She struggled against them, the stench radiating from the walking corpse filling her nose. Lumen pushed past a couple of them, stabbing one through the top of the head, while trying to make it to her side. Madison's words resonated in her head as she watched the man bring his snapping jaws within an inch of Alicia's face. Then suddenly it was pulled away and Alicia was free. Looking around for her savior, they froze. For a moment it looked as though one of the infected had saved the girl's life, with their blood-soaked clothes and greasy hair – then Lumen recognized the pilot shirt and her eyes shot up to meet Nick's. Alicia stared. There was too much blood. If it was all his…

"Nick!" Alicia cried, as she took in his gore-covered clothes. "Are you bit?"

"No, I'm good," he assured her as she pulled him into a hug, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from the soldier. She was gazing at him as she tried to comprehend why he looked the way he did and he could read something almost like fear in her eyes. He looked back at his sister who still appeared unconvinced as she glanced at all the blood. "I'm okay, I'm okay," he told her, and she gave a hesitant nod.

Nick turned to the infected man behind him, who appeared to have no interest in the teen, and stepped up to face him. The man gave a soft growl but made no attempt to attack him.

"Nick!" Alicia called to him again, watching his bizarre behavior. He turned to follow the others down towards the launch, now that they had their opening, and caught the look Lumen was giving him. It was the same look she had given him when he had discovered the pills.

"Come on, we gotta go," she said to him, voice devoid of emotion.

They each grabbed and end of the raft and pulled it towards the water, but the new woman came to a halt before they could make it there.

"We need to make a stop," she told them.

* * *

"I don't really understand what this is," Lumen commented, looking down at the badly burned body of the survivor. He lay against the rim of the small, yellow emergency raft, with barely a sign to show he was still alive. The other survivor, who had introduced herself to them as Alex, assured them he would make it. They had taken the launch around to a nearby bay, where the two survivors had washed up. Alex had been in the process of finding food and water for them when the horde had made its approach.

"We have to help them," Alicia said, ever the humanitarian. Lumen didn't look so sure. She exchanged a look with Daniel.

"Has he been talking?" she asked Alex.

"A little," she lied.

"Look, even if we bring you back, we don't have the final say."

"Like hell we don't," Alicia argued once more.

Lumen looked at her and sighed. "You know what Strand's like. Look, I'm happy to bring Alex on board, but I don't like the look of this kid."

"Are you kidding me?" Alex said, voice now raising in volume. "We survived that plane crash. Do you have any idea what we've been through? We were adrift at sea for days. You can't leave us here."

Lumen had a look on her face that suggested otherwise.

"We'll tow them," Nick stepped in, "Strand can say what he likes when we get there. For now, let's just tow them. We can't leave them here with all those infected."

It was hard to take him seriously coated in blood, but he had a good point. They couldn't risk sitting around to take a vote. If it came to it, Lumen would just put the burnt kid out of his misery. Her mind went back to the man in the fuselage and she looked over at Chris to see how he was faring. He looked as if he had barely heard any of the conversation, staring down at the sand. Feeling her gaze, he looked over and a soft smile appeared on his face.

"Alright," she said to Alex, "Tie your raft to ours and we'll tow you back to the yacht. Just a warning, though: our captain's not known for his altruism."

* * *

Madison stood at the back of the ship, watching as the launch made its approach.

"Can you tell if they're okay?" she asked Travis, running a hand back through her hair. "Are they all there?"

Travis looked through a pair of binoculars borrowed from Strand. "Yeah," he assured her, "There's more with them."

"What?"

He passed her the binoculars so she could see for herself.

The minute Lumen stepped on board, she knew that Alex wouldn't be joining them. The look on the captain's face said it all.

"Are you hurt? What happened?" The parents made a fuss over their kids, Travis receiving a forced nod of assurance from Chris, and Madison staring in disbelief at her son's current appearance. He didn't bother giving an explanation, simply stating that he was okay. They turned back to the newcomers.

"No," Strand said, before anyone could even try to convince him otherwise.

"They're dehydrated," Alicia began, but the captain waved her off.

"I don't care. There's no room. Not here. Not where we're going."

Exasperated by his complete lack of remorse, she argued, "We don't even know where we're going?"

There was a brief moment of silence as the words hung in the air, and those who knew the truth glanced around at one another.

"Yes, we do," Madison said.

Lumen's eyes flicked up to meet Strand's. He was staring back at her as though wondering if she had been the one to divulge that information to the other passengers. With a tired sigh she focused back on Alex.

After convincing his father that he was okay, Chris had found his way back to Lumen's side like a second shadow. She looked over at him, sensing his unease and reached up to give another affectionate shoulder squeeze. He relaxed under her touch and smiled.

"We're going to Mexico," Madison announced, surprising the only two people on the boat not aware of this; Chris and Alicia. "Strand has a place there. There's food, power, water. He's invited us to stay until things clear."

Lumen threw the captain a surprised look. 'Invited' probably wasn't the word he would have used.

"Things will never clear," Nick told his mother.

"Then we make it our home."

"How do we know it's safe?" Alicia asked.

"It is what I say it is," Strand replied.

"Okay, so we have our destination," the girl went on, "What about them?" She turned back to the two survivors. Alex looked as though she was regretting the decision to follow them.

"They're a liability," Strand told her, as if to reinforce this opinion.

"The kid's not gonna make it," Lumen said. Both Alicia and Alex turned to look at her.

"He won't if we don't help him!"

"There's only one way we can help him now…"

Alicia looked appalled by the soldier's words. She couldn't understand that complete lack of empathy. Jake, as Alex had introduced him to them, was still alive; he was still breathing, he could still think and feel. Surely his welfare wasn't up for debate.

"Madison, please," Strand entreated, growing bored of these recurring arguments with the youngest of the Clarks.

"Fine," Madison agreed, "They won't come to Mexico."

"They just need some food, medicine, a place to stay for the night," Travis stepped in, joining Alicia in her cause. His partner threw him a disapproving look, but he didn't falter. Strand was quickly becoming impatient.

"Travis, what part of what I'm saying–" he began, but Travis had had enough.

"We don't bring them on the boat, okay?" he said, raising his voice.

Strand stared at the other man, unmoved.

"Look at him!" Alicia cried, gesturing to the sick boy in the raft, "He's dying!"

The desperation in her voice seemed to touch some small part of the captain, who made an ambiguous gesture, washing his hands of the matter as he left them. A small voice sounded, then, contrasting with the fierceness of Alicia's.

"Are you people really debating this?"

Alex stared at them, and they each glanced away, almost ashamed. This is what things had come to, now. She had thought that running into other people had finally meant safety; that she and Jake could rest and heal. But they were merely a burden to these people.

"We can offer you food and water," Travis told her gently, failing to make up for the fact that the survivors would be adrift once more.

Looking back at the boy suffering in the raft, Alex sighed and replied, "Okay."

It was the best they were going to get.

* * *

Lumen leaned against the railing, watching as Nick handed Ofelia a set of rosary beads he had discovered on the beach. The soldier smiled to herself. Even in the midst of all the death and despair, Nick still found a way to bring a little light into other people's darkness.

Exchanging brief words of greeting with the other woman as she passed by, Lumen moved to approach him. She took a seat next to him on the bench.

"Hey," she said casually, trying to organize her messy thoughts.

He smiled at her. "Hey."

Gazing at her, he scuffed his toes against the deck, waiting until she was ready to speak.

"You scared me back there, man," she told him, trying hard to keep from sounding overly serious. Nick's brow creased ever so slightly and she glanced down at the blood covering his shirt. He had managed to clean most of it from his face, but had made a rushed job of it. "I thought you'd really done a number on yourself. All that blood. What happened?"

"Kind of a long story," he replied, "I got into a situation with a couple of infected. Things got messy."

"No kidding. What the fuck were you thinking, approaching the infected like that?"

"It didn't attack me," he said, "Barely even registered that I was there."

"So I noticed. Camouflage, you think?"

"Might come in handy."

"Yeah, good luck trying to convince anyone to put that shit on themselves voluntarily."

He grinned at her, but she had turned to look out across the water.

"Sorry for how I reacted back there, with the meds and all that."

He frowned, concerned by her unusually low mood. "It's fine," he assured her, fighting the urge to put his arm around her. He didn't want to contaminate her new clothes. Prior to the approach of the infected horde, Daniel had taken it upon himself to dump the soldier's abandoned dufflebag in the launch, giving him the excuse to look for Nick and find out more about the recovered meds. Lumen had been genuinely grateful about it. She had been so concerned for Chris's welfare, and the unfortunate experience he had been put through, that she had nearly forgotten the reason for their trip.

Lumen looked back at him. "No, it's not." She gave a heavy sigh, and lapsed into thought. "I care about you, Nick. And I don't want to lose you to that shit, okay?"

"You won't," he assured her gently, touched by the sentiment, "I mean I've been clean since…Well, since I met you."

She smiled a little at that, but still seemed troubled.

"It's something else though, isn't it?" he asked her, and she gave a small nod.

"I think I need to tell you the truth about what happened to my brother."

* * *

 **A/N:** I feel like I write this every damn chapter, but apologies for the long delay. I have a bunch of writing projects going on at the moment, including a relatively new _Game of Thrones_ story, and an _Inglourious Basterds_ story that is probably my favorite story of mine (especially since it's the only one I ever finished).

Special thanks to angelicedg, chaosrachel, rachel101448, anr017 and guests for their support and reviews. Again, I'm unsure how long the next chapter will take, but I can say it will be completely original, as a new piece of Lumen's backstory is revealed.

Thanks for reading xx


	13. Chapter 13: Song to Say Goodbye

_Hi all! I am super sorry for how long I have left this story. I think it's been close to five months since I last updated it, and realizing that this chapter was a completely original segment, (i.e. I wouldn't have to go back and rewatch the show or reread anything in order to write it – in fact I can't even remember if I've mentioned her brother's name before. If I have please correct me so I can correct myself), I thought I'd try and quickly knock it out. So here it is. I hope it reads okay, because I haven't been feeling the best lately and I feel like that's been carrying over to my writing. No promises on future updates just yet, I just thought I'd get this out while I could._ _Reviews are much appreciated, but more than anything, thanks for reading._

 _The title is taken from the Placebo song of the same name, which I feel suits the relationship between Lumen and her brother. It's a beautiful, sad song, well worth the listen._

* * *

 **Chapter Thirteen: Song to Say Goodbye**

Lumen scuffed her toes across the hardwood floor, uncertain at this stage if it was the nervous energy or her impatience driving the action. She had been waiting for the better part of an hour for her brother to show, but he had never been what one might consider reliable.

"He's late," she told her mother, arms folded over her chest, glancing up at the carved, wooden cuckoo clock that sat above the fireplace. God how she hated that tacky thing. Her mother, despite living in a comfortable, middle-class, modern house, somehow found the need to furnish it as if it were a country cabin. It was for this reason that a majority of the furniture was made of pine or recycled timber; a gaudy combination of rustic and expensive taste. Lumen had always been more partial to the sleeker lines of minimalist furniture – the sort of stuff she was sure the identical, white-picket, 'American dream' houses along the street were furnished with, as the designers had intended. She liked practicality, a smooth aesthetic, and had always lacked the sentimentality required of a collector of vintage furniture.

"He's probably caught up in traffic," her mother replied, coming to her brother's defense as always.

"Traffic? At this time of day?" She looked over at the clock again and rolled her eyes. It was only midday. He had promised to pick her up before noon, giving them ample time to catch-up, and stop and grab some lunch somewhere before completing the final leg of the four and a half hour journey to Parris Island, South Carolina; where she was due to commence boot camp for the Marine Corps. It had been Jake's idea to drive her, to say his goodbyes before she left them for thirteen weeks of hardcore training. He was due back from rehab anyway – ninety days clean and counting. He was a changed man. Or so her mother said.

"Lumen, don't start," her mother warned.

She had been skeptical about the idea. After the state he had been in the last time she had seen him, she really didn't want to be in a vehicle with him behind the wheel; she just didn't trust him – couldn't trust him. It was always the same story. He'd get clean, he would come to live with them for a little while, flashing his sobriety chip at them proudly as if it was somehow the culmination of all his best life choices, then he would get back in contact with old friends – old junkie friends – and little by little would slide back off the wagon. He had done this three times now, and Lumen was beginning to wonder just how her parents would come up with the money for a fourth trip to the clinic. It didn't come cheap. She was just grateful she had decided to join the military; her college fund had been funneled into Operation Clean-Up Jake, and had quickly dried up.

Her father had supported her in her decision. His own father had been a military man, and she had even heard that a great-aunt had played a pretty pivotal role with the airborne during the Second World War. This life was in the Attebury DNA. Getting into shape hadn't been hard – Lumen had always been an athletic girl, running in fundraising marathons and even competing for her school team. She had fond memories of hunting trips taken with her father and Jake, way back before his troubles had started; learning how to shoot a rifle, how to hunt deer, and how to pull the trigger without feeling guilt. That empathy had always been a big problem of hers when it came to hunting; feeling sorry for the deer, or the duck or the rabbit. Her father had done what he could to help her overcome it for what he called 'the sake of survival', exactly the kind of skill a well-off, middle-class white girl needed. She lost her real empathy the first time she caught her brother using, after his second return from rehab.

When she had heard her parents late one night discussing where they were going to come up with the money to send Jake away a second time, she had made peace with their decision to have it be her college money. But finding out how little her brother appreciated her sacrifice had been the breaking point. It was the point she questioned if she could ever love him again, as much as she had all those years ago in the Ocala National Forest, when he had put his arm around her after her first hunt just to make sure she was okay. To her it was his one redeeming quality – the single reason she had agreed to going on this little road trip with him. Jake always meant well, and he always tried his hardest to put others before himself. She knew the havoc his habit was wreaking on his family was devastating him; she knew he could hardly hold it together because of the guilt. And so he continued to use. He shot quick streams of relief into his system to hold back that all-consuming guilt; and it was for that reason she knew he would never really stop being a junkie. It was a cycle that would never really end.

But this time was different. At least, according to her mother. Her mother had always held unwavering faith in her brother's abilities to get his act together and meet his true potential as her child. How could she not? After all, any other outcome would mean the possibility that she was a bad parent, and that just simply could not be the case. If anything, it must have been his father's fault. All that camping and hunting and shooting guns. The boy had gone from shooting guns to shooting up; there was little wonder they were checking him into rehab every other month. That exposure to violence had obviously sent him searching for a different kind of rush, and so he had wondered the streets until he found it.

In reality, Jake's problem had begun after a simple decision at a friend's party. One of his friend's had handed out ecstasy to those willing to try it. That sudden rush of euphoria, that emancipation from years of built up pressure under his mother's willful gaze had been one of the most freeing experiences of his life. And so he had sought out more. When the softer drugs had stopped giving him that rush, he had moved onto heroin, which he soon found to be the answer. To what question, he wasn't quite sure by that point, but the feeling of lightness, the rush of happiness and that momentary ability to forget his parent's disappointment had quickly proven to be addictive.

The familiar rumbling of Jake's crappy Toyota Tercel drew Lumen out of her agitated daze.

"Finally."

She grabbed the handles of her small duffel bag full of her only belongings for the next couple of months, and moved towards the door. Her father greeted her there with a smile as he drew it open. There was something a little off about the way Jake exited his car, the way he almost stumbled out, picking himself up and passing it off as clumsiness with a laugh that had once been infectious. He turned to face his waiting family with his hands nervously posted on his hips, pulling at the bottom of his shirt, beaming in a way that way still charming even after all he had put them through. Jake Attebury was an attractive young man, receiving most of his looks from his mother's side; with caramel colored locks styled almost like James Dean's, and the sort of swagger to match. Lumen had been stuck with a lot of the traits from her father's side, but it was the athletic abilities that she cared about and that would aid her in the months ahead. She and Jake shared the same smile, though, and had used it countless times to weasel their way out of trouble. Unfortunately for the pair of them, trouble always seemed to have a way of finding them.

The moment his eyes met Lumen's, his smile faltered a little bit. She hadn't realized the way she had been looking at him – as if she would have preferred if he hadn't bothered to show at all. She had such little expectations of him these days that it wouldn't have even surprised her. He attempted a wave, but when she turned away and moved back inside, his smile shrunk even more.

"Lumen!" her mother scolded, before offering a humble wave and smile of her own to her firstborn. "You better not act this way the whole way there. He wants to spend time with you before you leave. He's been through enough as it is."

Lumen blinked at her mother, trying her best to formulate a reply that didn't carry with it an excessive amount of cursing. Forcing back every single bad feeling she was experiencing, Lumen gave a calm, sheepish smile and said, "Yeah, you're right. He has been through a lot." She actually felt physically ill.

Turning back to the front door, she made eye contact with Jake and was surprised to see how uncomfortable he became under her gaze. She knew that out of everyone she had been the least supportive when it came to his rehabilitation. The first time she had been with him all the way. She had sympathized with his need to escape, to numb some of the stuff life seemed to throw at the Attebury kids, and more than anything she had wanted to see him better. But after the second relapse, and then the third one, she realized there was no point in helping someone who didn't want it. Maybe he wanted to stay stuck in the cycle. Maybe he didn't want to live. Either way, she began to realize she didn't care anymore. It had been hard at first, dealing with the guilt that came with that realization, but the more her efforts seemed to go unappreciated, the less responsible she felt for his recovery. She quickly drifted away, no longer calling to check in on his progress or offering to come down and visit at the clinic. She stopped asking her parents for updates, and instead started focusing on her own future.

"Hey, Lulu," he tried now, voice hesitant, coming towards her slowly as if any sign of hostility might break him down. It was that sheer sign of weakness that only fueled her loathing. She forced herself to look at him.

"Hey. You're a bit late."

"Lumen," her mother warned again, but Jake just chuckled in an attempt to shake her off; an awkward, anxious sound.

"Yeah, I know," he replied, "I slept in. I'm really sorry, sis. I know it's probably not the best, you know, impression to be making after everything. But, you know, I thought we could still stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat. You can tell me all about the Marines and we can catch up a little. It's exciting stuff, my little sis joining the army."

"The Marine Corps isn't the army," she corrected him.

"Oh. Well, see! Learning stuff from you already." He flashed her one of his thousand-watt smiles and she felt her attitude soften a little against her will. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah, I just gotta grab my bag."

"I got it."

He moved towards where she had dumped it, doing as he had promised, and gave their parents one last kiss on the cheek. Lumen hugged her father first, a big old bear hug that represented everything she was grateful for from the man. He had been the one to encourage her interest in the military. She probably wouldn't have even been on her way to boot camp if it hadn't been for his support.

"Good luck, kiddo," he smiled. "I know you'll do great."

Next was her mother. Despite the way they constantly seemed to bump heads, Lumen felt a little pang in her chest as she noticed the way her mother's eyes shone in the cool, afternoon light. The woman was actually close to tears. So much for being angry at her for choosing the Marines over a more 'proper' line of work.

"Oh, mom," she chuckled as she pulled her in for a hug too.

"What?" her mother asked, never one to make a scene.

"Nothing. Thanks for everything. I promise I'll drop by when I can."

"Of course. Only if they let you, though. No sneaking out."

Lumen just shook her head. She turned back to Jake, drawing a long breath at the thought of the trip ahead. Four hours with an ex-junkie. It sounded like a late-night talk show. And not even a successful one.

"We all set?" he asked, her bag in tow.

"All set."

* * *

They took the I-95 towards Daytona Beach, the fastest route to their destination. It had taken a lot of persuasion from Lumen to not go Jake's 'shortcut' route, trusting him little enough as it was with the driving part of it. They drove in silence to begin with, Jake fiddling a little too much with the radio, eventually settling on some oldies station that seemed to play exclusively 80s pop music.

"I know you didn't want this," he began. She glanced over at him, but he was suddenly paying attention to the road.

"I agreed to it, didn't I?"

"I figured mom made you agree."

She shook her head. "No."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I just wanted to see if you were really clean or not this time."

"Lulu…"

He was biting his lip, gaze still trained forward as he battled a sudden torrent of emotions upon hearing his little sister's obvious lost faith.

"No, seriously. Third times a charm, right? Or is this the fourth time? I've just lost count by now." She gave a hollow laugh and went back to staring at the map in front of her, picking out the names of the towns and cities they would be passing. She had planned this journey not based entirely on time, but more so on the geographical locations. Next up after Daytona was Palm Coast, then on to St. Augustine.

"I'm doing better this time," his voice came softly, but she was not about to fall for the poor little lost soul act. She'd seen it enough times as it was now, though it never seemed to fail on their mother.

"That's good," she replied with the least amount of sincerity she could muster. "So where did you want to stop for lunch?"

Spotting the downcast look on his face, she almost felt bad for her behavior towards him.

"You still like Buffalo wings, right?" she asked him. Despite everything he had put them through, she still couldn't stand to see him like that. It was like laughing at a little kid who had already dropped their ice-cream. She wasn't completely heartless, no matter what she tried to convince herself.

"Yeah," he smiled, looking over. "You remembered that?"

"Of course I do. I remember you eating so many that time at that 'all-you-can-eat' place when we were kids that you hurled all over me on the way home."

He chuckled, then his expression fell again, his smile slowly fading until his expression was blank.

"I'm so sorry, Lulu."

"Which step is this?" she joked.

"No, I mean it. I know I've put you through so much. Even since we were kids. I know about the college fund."

She stared out at the road as it rushed past them.

"Was this...Did you want to join the Marines anyway, or was it because you thought you had no choice? Because you wouldn't have been able to afford college. Because of me."

She noticed the way he was suddenly white-knuckling the steering wheel and the stiffness of his posture.

"Do you want me to drive for a while?" she asked him.

"No. It's just…I'm sorry. Tell me you can forgive me for that."

She took a brief second to think about it, and realized that it had been a mistake. He sighed and glanced away from the road.

"I decided I wanted to join the Marines before they started asking about all that college shit at school," she told him.

"How come I didn't know? You used to tell me everything."

"You were in rehab, dude."

Then she really did feel bad from the expression that suddenly came over him. She could feel the self-loathing seeping off of him as they drove on in silence.

* * *

They stopped in Jacksonville for lunch, virtually stumbling across an eatery called _Dex'N'Angie_ 's that claimed to serve some of the best Buffalo wings in the state. It was then that Jake's twitchy behavior began to resurface for the second time. On the road he'd had something to hold his attention, the conversation keeping him focused, but now as they sat in the booths across from each other, his eyes began shifting around anxiously once more. Lumen watched as he held his menu in one hand, the other rubbing the back of his neck as he glanced around instead of reading the options in front of him. He didn't see the way her eyes narrowed or the suspicion that came over her.

"So, ninety days clean, huh?" she asked him, looking back at her menu, refusing to let herself believe that he could be using again; that he could really be so stupid. It had to just be residual behavior from his years as a on and off junkie. She had seen him like this before when he was clean – maybe not so bad, but it was at least familiar to her.

"Huh? Yeah. Ninety days," he replied, focusing back on her. She smiled at him briefly then turned her eye down to the list of food. Everything appeared to be deep fried; at least not the salad…she hoped.

"What's the longest for you so far?"

"Um, well, I got to one hundred and twenty days, last time. I know I can do it again if I really put my mind to it. I want to do it for you guys, you know? I know I've put you through so much. I feel so shitty about it. So selfish. I can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for you."

She gazed up at him, and just as she was about to reply, the waitress approached them.

"What'll it be?" she asked them, pen and pad at the ready.

"Chicken Caesar salad for me, and maybe just a jug of water for the table, please."

"Sure thing, honey. And you, sir?"

Jake flashed her a smile and looked to Lumen, amusement dancing in his eyes at being addressed in such a formal manner. At only twenty-one, it could be fair to say the drugs had aged his appearance some, and his insistence of styling himself in the manner of his late, favorite actor didn't help.

"I'll have the Buffalo wings with a side of fried pickles and fries," he replied. "And a glass of coke, please."

She took their menus and disappeared with their orders, leaving them alone once more.

"You'll clog your arteries with that shit," Lumen commented, playing with one of the napkins on the table in front of her.

"Yeah, cause my arteries haven't had worse in them," he replied, with another charismatic smile. She both envied and hated his ability to bend others to his will with such a simple gesture. Even at times where her mother would have absolutely flipped had the behavior come from her, all Jake had to do was flash a sheepish grin and a quick 'Sorry', and he was the golden child once more. Lumen had always felt like the black sheep, keeping to herself when she wasn't at one of her sporting events. She had made a delicate balance of being book smart and athletic, but the only support she ever seemed to receive for the latter was from her father. Her mother had rarely turned up at her events, either for a lack of interest, or because she was too busy keeping up-to-date with Jake's condition.

"You know, we really ought to go camping again, just the three of us – me, you and dad – whenever you get some free time. Do you think you'll be able to?" Jake said later, as they begun tucking into their meals.

"Yeah, maybe. I mean, not so much for the first thirteen weeks, but maybe before SOI. They give us a little leave there."

"What's SOI?"

"School of Infantry."

He made an impressed face and shoved more fries into his mouth.

"I think a lot about those days, you know? Back when we used to go hunting and stuff. I really loved those times. Sitting under the stars around the campfire, just sipping hot cocoa and roasting marshmallows. Remember dad used to get out his guitar some trips?"

They shared a giggle over that. On the trips that had involved a base camp more than hiking, their father had found it an essential part of the camping experience to pull out the guitar and sing campfire songs with them. His singing had been awful, and the kids had to learn the words to most of them, but it was the laughter and the corniness of the situation that had made it fun. Their father had really tried to give them the childhood he thought they deserved.

"Oh, man. I think _Kumbaya_ is what turned me atheist," Lumen joked.

"Well, you sing it enough times…yeah, I don't blame you." He chuckled and offered her some of his fried pickles, which she accepted with enthusiasm, only allowing herself a couple. She was still on a pretty strict diet.

He excused himself to use the bathroom once during their meal, and once again before they left, citing the coke as the culprit for the frequent peeing. He paid for their meals, which Lumen found almost endearing, then they were back on the road.

* * *

They pulled into a Shell gas station not far past South Newport, with Jake apologizing once again for having to pee.

"I feel like a pregnant lady," he joked. "You need to go?"

"No," she assured him, glancing at her watch. She was on a very tight schedule with the admissions, and he had already lost them an hour with his supposed 'sleeping in'. She was just glad she had left herself enough time for mishaps. "Just make it quick."

"I was going to grab something from the station. You want anything?"

"No, I'm good. Just make sure it's not coke again," she laughed.

"Yeah, I think I learned my lesson with that one."

She smiled to herself as she watched him disappear inside. She was already starting to feel that familiar friendliness towards him again after all this time. Had she known it would only take a few hours in his company, she wasn't sure if she would have agreed to the road trip in the first place. She still hadn't quite found it in her to forgive him for everything, but she could tell he was making an effort. Another camping trip would be nice. She knew that their dad would be up to it, and her mother would approve if only to see her two children getting along once more. Glancing up she spotted her brother jogging back over, a goofy smile on his face.

"I forgot my wallet," he told her. "It's in the glove compartment. Can you grab it for me?"

Shaking her head at him, she reached over and opened it up, grabbing the brown leather accessory. As she pulled it out, it flipped open, and that's when she saw it. It was a little photo of the two of them as kids. She looked about three, which would have made him around six. She stood proudly in her underwear, beaming next to her equally unclothed brother, both splashed with mud as she held up the huge fish he had helped her reel in. Her father had taken the picture during one of their beloved camping trips, and the moment she saw it, she recalled the moment with such clarity despite how young she had been. She had been so happy, so proud of herself for making her daddy smile. But his smile had been for the two of them and the way they had worked together to catch their dinner.

Smiling to herself, feeling her throat tighten a little, she handed over the wallet and watched him jog back inside. He came out moments later with a key to the bathroom, dumping some jerky and a bottle of water in the car before giving her a quick wave and one of his signature smiles, earning a roll of the eyes and a laugh in return. She sat and waited.

And waited.

It was after twenty minutes that she knew something had to be wrong. She had been sitting in the car, considering checking in on him for over five minutes, not wanting to disturb him on the off chance that the food from the diner hadn't agreed with him, when their ever shrinking time-frame had gotten the best of her. Stepping out of the car, she snagged the keys from the ignition, shutting off the radio, and locking the doors.

She approached the bathroom feeling a knot of worry in her stomach.

"Jake?" she called, knocking.

No reply.

"Jake? You in there?"

Still nothing.

She took a deep breath and tried the handle as her last ditch effort to make sure he was okay, and she was surprised to find it opened. The keys kept it locked from the outside, but the interior snib had long since been broken, something many of the users failed to notice. Jake had thought he had locked it.

The first thing she noticed was the blank, glassy stare of his eyes as his head lolled back against the wall. His belt was still around his arm, the empty needle still stuck in his vein. For a moment she could only stare. The scene was surreal to her. Surely she was just imagining a scenario that couldn't be true. Then the adrenaline kicked in and she rushed inside.

"Jake? Jakie? Wake up, Jake." Feeling a rush of anger, she slapped his lifeless face, but it didn't seem to do any good. "Come on, wake up."

She started shaking him but his body only slid to the side. She caught him before his could fall to the floor, and vomit began to slide out from the corner of his mouth.

It was the eyes that bothered her the most; those cold, staring eyes that just wouldn't close.

A man passing by outside caught sight of the scene and rushed to her aid, his loud cries quickly attracting a small crowd on onlookers. The paramedics were called, but it was far too late for the boy. He had been dead for almost twenty minutes by the time they arrived. All through this, Lumen felt numb. She didn't hear anything anyone said to her, she could only stare at the still, dead body of her older brother. A number of people said things to her, and she could remember answering some questions from the paramedics and the police, but nothing seemed to register. It still didn't feel real.

Calling her parents, she had heard her mother's shriek, her father sobbing in disbelief, but everything sounded distant. All she could remember was telling them she had to keep going to Parris Island and could they deal with the body. It was such a cold suggestion after everything, but it was as if everything in her mind had switched off aside from one clear focus; those blinkers guiding her back on her journey to boot camp. She arrived late, of course, but after a quick explanation she was given a pass and led to one of the doctors for a quick analysis. They put it down to shock.

Days later, when her mother finally found it in her to call about the funeral, Lumen lied and said she wouldn't be able to make it; that her leave hadn't been granted and that she would have to remain on the base. She used her one day of leave to drive out to the nearby Hunting Island State Park, found a peaceful spot by the lake, watching the fish swim below the surface, and allowed herself to cry.


	14. Chapter 14: Treading Water

**A/N: Oh, it's good to be back! After a long hiatus, all it took was the season premiere to perk up that tired old muse and get me writing again. This chapter takes place immediately after the last. We jump right back in. Just as a quick refresher, last time we left off, Lumen was telling Nick the truth about how her brother died, a sort of explanation as to why she feels so responsible for him I guess.**

 **For those of you who have seen the latest episodes, you'll know some big things took place, and it kind of got me thinking about where I can take this story. Now that I feel like I have a better idea of what's to come, I'm going to try my best to start updating more frequently. This one will be a little longer than usual, just to make up for the lengthy hiatus. Hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

 **Chapter Fourteen: Treading Water  
**

A heavy silence hung between them as Nick processed this latest insight into her past. Things were starting to click together; how she had jumped into action when he had almost died back in the pens, how she had seen him immediately for what he was – her reaction to the meds made sense now.

"Jesus. I'm sorry that happened to you."

That could have been him, he realized. It would only have been a matter of time. It seemed ironic that it had taken the end of the world to finally get him clean.

Lumen was staring out across the water, the same as she always did when she was hiding her true feelings, but in spite of her best efforts to maintain her usual collected demeanor, Nick caught the glint of tears in her eyes. He had never seen her cry before. Even after all they had seen and been through she had managed to push forward for the sake of everyone else's safety. He wondered how long she had been living like that, never letting anyone help carry some of that emotional burden – her breakdown had to have been the result of that; a lifetime of buried trauma. It was a weakness she had told herself over and over again that she couldn't afford, especially not now. He felt the urge to pull her close, to offer some comfort, but even in the short amount time he had gotten to know her, he knew that it would likely only have the opposite effect, driving her away even more.

"I hated him for doing that to me. I didn't go to the funeral," she admitted. She finally glanced over at him, catching the way his brows furrowed at this admission. "I didn't want to have to deal with my parents. Plus I'd already said my goodbyes long before I found him in that bathroom. I loved him, Nick. But I don't know if I can ever forgive him. There's only so many chances you can give someone, you know?"

Nick stared down at the deck, his mind going to his mother and sister, what it must have been like for them all of those nights he hadn't come home. It wasn't that he didn't care about the grief that he put them through. He knew very well how much they worried – they had always made it clear to him, masking that concern with a bitterness that only proved to drive him back out to the streets again. Alicia was the good one, the one destined to go on to some great college and succeed in whatever life threw at her. She had always been driven, but every time her achievements were somehow overshadowed by his latest fuck-up. He knew she hated him for that. He wondered if it had been the same for Lumen.

"I used to wonder if he knew how much he wasted his potential. If maybe he thought he wasn't good enough or something. I felt like I should have said something to him. I don't know if it would have helped." She was gazing at him now, and he could tell she was trying to figure out a way to say the same thing to him, hoping he had somehow taken the message away on his own. She was terrible with this kind of stuff, but it in an odd way he found it kind of endearing. He smiled if only to reassure her he was reading loud and clear, and she finally managed a weak smile of her own. "Anyway," she said, getting to her feet and pressing her hands into the small of her back as she stretched out her stiff muscles, eager to move on from the awkward emotional moment, "I'm going to go make sure Strand hasn't had some sort of nervous breakdown while I've been gone, see if I can't find out if we've got an ETA on that little swim of ours."

Nick chuckled but there was little humor to it, his thoughts still too heavy with everything she had told him, his own guilt only adding to the tangled mess inside his head. He turned to look at her as she made her way along the deck towards the staircase.

"Hey."

She turned back.

"I appreciate you looking out for me, but maybe you should let me do the same for you every once in a while."

The corner of her mouth quirked up, but she gave no response, merely cocking her head as if she'd consider it. Smiling, he watched as she swung around onto the stairs and made her ascent.

* * *

Strand was not at his usual post behind the ship's console, and it didn't take long for her to learn of his decision to cut ties with their rescued survivors – quite literally. A brief cry from the rear deck had alerted Lumen to potential trouble, but as she finally spotted Strand he merely strode past her, hatchet in hand, gaze fixed forward. Madison stood just beyond them staring out at the yellow life-raft as it shrank in the distance. They'd given them some food and water, at least. That was something. Turning back before she could be spotted by the distraught mother, Lumen followed their captain back up to the bridge.

"Don't even start," he told her, as he reclaimed his seat at the helm.

"Did I say anything?"

"No. Much in the same way you didn't say anything when they voted to bring those people back to the boat."

"What can I say, Alicia's a persuasive young woman."

"She is a child. You are a trained soldier. Or have you forgotten that little detail? Might I remind you now is not the time to for a change of heart."

"I know, I know. 'You hired me for one reason, if I can't fulfill it I'm of no use to you, etcetera, etcetera'. How'd I do? That about right?"

He threw her an unamused look and turned back to the radar.

"So when are Nick and I heading out?" she asked as she stepped up to the console, glancing out at the vast surrounding water, imagining what it was going to be like to take on its unpredictable currents as they made the long, cold swim to shore. As much as she would have liked to press Strand to reconsider their method of travel, she knew he would only threaten to send Nick out on his own, thus bending her to his will yet again. She was still yet to find a weakness of his own to exploit, but there was still plenty of time for that. For now, the term 'grin and bear it' seemed her only option.

"Not long now. Once we're close enough to the border, it'll give me an excuse to drop anchor for the night without raising too much suspicion."

"Yeah, well you picked a real shitty time to stir things up with our fellow travelers. I imagine they'll be keeping an even closer eye on you now. How's this supposed to work, exactly?"

"It'll be in the early hours of the morning. We'll wait until they're asleep."

"And if they put someone on watch?"

"We'll figure it out," he assured her, an edge to his tone. "You'd think you might be somewhat familiar with covert operations. Or did I pick the benchwarmer?"

"No, just the one with PTSD, remember?"

He threw her another bemused look and she met it with a sarcastic smile before turning towards the staircase, heading for the main cabin, hoping to avoid any of said fellow travelers along the way. She really wasn't up for acting as the captain's own personal PR rep.

As she made a beeline for her suite, hoping for a brief respite before the next problem decided to rear its head – and if the past few days were anything to go by, it was only a matter of time – she found her thoughts turning to Chris. Recalling the scene inside the fuselage, she thought back to the discussion she'd had with Travis only hours earlier over his growing concern for his son's state of mind. She'd seen this before in some of the replacements that had come through in her division. The first kill wasn't what mattered, it was what came after it that decided a soldier's path. Chris was at that crossroads now. She knew whatever she said to him, whatever direction she helped set him on, would determine the way he handled things in the future. The least she could do was try to make sure he had the right support in the process. She had seen men crack under far less pressure.

Noticing the specks of blood dotted up her arms and caked under her fingernails, she changed course, heading instead for the bathroom for an impromptu scrub down, but as she passed by the half-open door of her room she spotted a dark shape perched on the bed. She paused before pushing the door open the rest of the way and Chris looked up, his expression hesitant.

"Hey," she greeted with a smile, brows quirking together at his unexpected presence.

"I just wanted to talk," he told her, gaze dropping to the floor as she stepped inside.

"Sure."

He looked up at her again, then back at the open doorway.

"Do you mind closing the door?"

Lumen paused again before glancing down the hallway for any potential eavesdroppers, then followed through with the request. Taking a seat beside him she glanced over, offering him a window to speak first, but it quickly became evident from his troubled expression that this wouldn't going to be the case. After a few moments he seemed to relax and collect his thoughts, shutting his eyes as he ran his hands back through his hair, freeing it from its elastic fastening. His dark hair spilled out, creating a wall that hid his face. He held out the hair tie, but she shook her head.

"Keep it."

His eyes went to the bedside he had claimed their first night on the boat, where he had taken to storing the growing number of items she had gifted him over the past few days. He made a mental note to track down the binoculars he had lent Alicia.

"What happened back there," he began, his voice soft as he eyed her warily, brushing his hair back behind his ear, "No one can know about it."

She nodded. "I wasn't planning on telling anyone."

"They don't get it. The things we have to do now. They think they can keep living the way they used to. They don't…they wouldn't understand. They already think I'm losing it."

He glanced back up at the soldier as she scratched the back of her head thoughtfully.

"Yeah, well I'm sure jumping off the back of the boat didn't help." She flashed him a crooked smile to make sure he knew she was only joking, but from the look he gave her he didn't see the humor.

"But I think you're right," she went on.

His expression changed; they weren't words he heard very often.

"You know, what you had to do back there, that took some guts. You made a hard call."

"It had to be done." He shoved his hands into the pockets of his hoodie and looked away, hoping his expression wasn't betraying any of the pride he felt hearing that comment. He wasn't used to praise. "I couldn't just leave him like that." He squeezed his eyes shut, trying desperately to force the image of the man's gruesome injury from his mind. Just another thing to keep him up at night.

"You did the right thing. I want you to know that."

He glanced up again, this time with a small, hopeful smile, but she could see the man's death eating away at him.

"I mean, not everyone's going to see it that way, but there was no helping that guy. He deserved that mercy at least, and you gave it to him."

"Have you ever had to do something like that before?" he asked.

She considered this for a moment, her mind going back to the night of the flashing lights, recalling the screams of the man her lieutenant had used as bait. "Yeah. I have."

"That guy on the raft… You didn't think he was going to make it either. Why did you let her bring him back?"

 _Why didn't we kill him, too?_

She suddenly realized what this was really about. His father had killed his mother and claimed it as a mercy, that there had been no other way. _The things we have to do now…_ He was already teetering on the edge of dangerous territory. As a soldier, she was used to being forced to make the right call – 'for the greater good', as Strand would have put it. She had been trained to make those kinds of decisions, and even then it was rarely simple, rarely easy. Entrusting that level of responsibility to a teenager already struggling to cope was just asking for trouble, but given the circumstances they didn't really have the luxury to decide that. She had seen the way Travis and Madison treated their children – barely trusting them to make the simplest of decisions now with the ever-present danger. Even back on the island, with a fence sitting safely between them and the infected, Travis still hadn't been able to see the advantage of teaching Chris some basic defense. In a lot of ways sheltering them from the realities of the new world did them more harm than good, and Lumen would take practical over naïve optimism any day. If she was the one who had to step up to the plate for Chris, she was willing to take on that responsibility. She had earned her promotions by leading, keeping up morale amongst her men; it was second nature to her now.

"There's a fine line between mercy and murder. Sometimes you have to be able to make that call, too."

"That house you went to investigate. The one with the lights. You said you would have had to kill that guy."

She gave a dry chuckle that quickly turned to a groan as she ran a hand back through her hair, knowing exactly where he was going with that one.

"You know what? Maybe I'm not the best role model after all." She threw him a side glance and found that, despite the uncomfortable topic, she still had his rapt attention. "I've done some bad things in my life, things I'm really not proud of. Things that went against everything I thought I stood for because I was following orders. But I've taken every opportunity to try to make things right, too. That night at the house, my superior shot that man to buy us some time."

"What do you mean?" Chris asked, a deep frown pulling at his features as if he already knew the answer but didn't want to believe it. He had never exactly been a glass half-full kind of guy, but some of things he had witnessed since the outbreak went beyond the kind of evil he thought humans were capable of. As much as he didn't want to think about that kind of violence being carried out at the hands of the woman beside him – the one person he was actually growing to trust – he was glad in a way that he had someone who could relate to what he was going through.

"The infected were closing in. From what I've seen, they only eat living flesh. They won't touch anything already dead."

As the words left her mouth she thought of Nick, the way he had camouflaged himself with the blood. He had smelled like one of them; he had smelled like death.

"I shot him. It was the only thing I could do for him by then. That was my mercy." She was silent for a long time as her thoughts drifted back to the events of that fateful night. She reached up, absentmindedly running her fingertips over the skin below her eye, wondering if the bruise from her lieutenant had finally faded. "You know, you're the only person I've told about that night."

"I won't tell anyone," he assured her, his voice soft.

She flashed him a gentle smile and almost out of habit, her hand came up to rest on his shoulder once more.

"You ever need to talk about anything, if you feel like you can't go to your dad or Madison, you can come to me. I'm not the greatest at advice, and I'm not as qualified as Madison, but just putting it out there."

"Thanks."

"Besides," she went on, getting to her feet, "It's not like I'm going to tell them anything. I get the feeling they don't like me all that much."

"Looks like we've got something else in common," he joked glumly.

"Ah well, we got each other, though, right? Us black sheep gotta stick together."

He smiled up at her and she tipped him a wink.

"Hey, I'm not, like, taking back the room, or anything," he told her, "I just needed somewhere quiet. Away from everyone."

"I get it. Stay as long as you need to. I'll come kick you out when I wanna catch some shut eye. Speaking of, how'd you go with that the other night?"

"I slept."

She cocked an eyebrow at him and his smile widened as he rolled his eyes.

"A little."

She stared at him a moment, eyes narrowed, a crooked smile still perched on her face. "Okay. I'm gonna go raid the kitchen. You want anything?"

"I'm good. Thanks. Hey, If anyone asks-"

"I haven't seen you," she finished for him. He smiled and watched as she closed the door, suddenly feeling a little emptier for the loss of her company.

* * *

Lumen let out a huff as she collapsed down onto the deck next to Nick, bodies stretched out in opposite directions, heads side by side. He smirked as he squinted over at her, a cigarette resting in the corner of his mouth.

"What a day, huh?"

"What a week," he countered.

"What a fucking life."

He snorted and held out the cigarette to her. She looked up at it for a moment before finally accepting. It had been a long time since she'd even tried one, but the end of the world seemed as good a time as any to take up bad habits. Lung cancer was the least of her worries these days.

"So it looks like we're heading out first thing, while it's still dark."

"Cool. How you feelin' about it?"

"Me? Oh, I'm fine. Got my scavenged bikini raring to go. What about you?"

"Who needs a bathing suit?"

She glanced over at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. I figured I'd shove my clothes in the bag I pulled from that sinking ship. Put yours in too, if you want. Unless you were planning on rocking up to this guy's house in a swimsuit."

"I'm sure that'd make a great first impression." She was quiet for a moment, trying not to think too hard about the idea of him skinny dipping with her.

"What?" he asked, noticing her distracted expression.

"Nothing."

"You got a problem with a little nudity?" he smirked.

"Nick, I have literally scooped vomit out of your mouth. Doesn't get much more intimate than that."

"I can think of a few ways." He took a drag on his smoke, glancing over at her with a charming smile that almost made her forget his was only nineteen. She couldn't say she hadn't thought about it.

"With any luck we'll run into our friends Strand so kindly deserted while we're out there. Maybe they'll be a little more accommodating than we were. Then again, I did practically threaten to kill one of them."

"That wasn't cool, man, what Strand did. They didn't deserve that."

"That kid wouldn't have made it. It would have only been a matter of time before we would have had to take care of him. And I don't mean in the way Alicia was proposing, either. Has she always been such a diehard altruist, or is just like a rebellious phase?"

A troubled look crossed Nick's features as he ignored the joke, cigarette dangling from his lips once more as he considered the possibility of the wounded kid turning.

"We could have tried at least."

She sighed, gazing up at the clear blue sky, relaxing under the gentle rocking motion of the boat. Every so often a wave caught the edge of the deck, sending up a refreshing spray of cool water. She found herself searching the sky for any sign of sea birds but found it empty. She couldn't remember seeing any since they'd first set sail. She wondered if that was an instinctual thing that the animals had, sensing the spreading sickness and avoiding the human hosts. Her squad had come in contact with a few dogs on their patrols, most of them getting their fill on the corpses that littered the streets. The infection didn't seem to affect them, though she couldn't imagine it was a particularly healthy diet to subsist on, either. A few of the soldiers had taken to using them as target practice, and she hadn't hesitated to pull them up on it, telling them the next time they wasted bullets on a mutt, she'd be using _them_ for target practice.

"Wouldn't have made a difference," she went on, "Would have just been a waste of our medical supplies."

"You're starting to sound like Strand."

She threw him a look and found he was already smirking, just trying to push her buttons.

"You ever say that again, Nick, you'll be taking that swim a little ahead of schedule."

"You wouldn't do that to me."

"No?"

He turned his head to look at her. "You like me too much."

"Wanna test that theory?" she dared him, but her grin gave her away. They gazed at each other for a moment, faces mere inches apart, and it wasn't until his she caught him glancing down at her lips that she realized where things were heading.

"Hey!"

They both looked up to see Madison standing on the deck above them, suspicion marked clearly on her face.

"We made some food up in the cabin if you guys are hungry," she told them, exuding a heavy 'mom' vibe as she looked down at her son. Lumen wondered how long she'd been up there, how much she had witnessed; what assumptions she had made off one fleeting moment. Eager to escape Madison's judging gaze, Lumen got to her feet, brushing herself off as she headed for the staircase. She glanced back at Nick as she climbed the steps, her expression apologetic.

Nick stared back at his mother for a moment, warning her against whatever lecture she had brewing, then turned his gaze back to the empty spot beside him as he tried to figure out his next move.

* * *

The night air was cold as she slipped out onto the deck in the early hours of the morning, the black hoodie covering the upper half of her body providing a modest barrier between her and the cool ocean breeze. She spotted lights in the distance as she made her way down towards the rear deck – the border guard. They were far enough away to not be noticed, but she couldn't help but wonder if they'd been picked up on radar. The last thing she and Nick needed was to take fire while they made the desperate scramble for shore. She would have her knife on her, and Nick had agreed to carry her handgun in the waterproof bag along with their clothes. She had managed to weasel a few rounds out of Strand's own sidearm, but considering it would benefit their quest to retrieve this contact of his, he hadn't put up much of a fight.

Nick and Strand were already waiting, Strand dressed all in black, looking more prepared for a stealth operation then either of his two assistants. They glanced up as she made her way down the staircase. Dressed in black swim shorts, Nick hugged himself against the chill. It was only going to get worse when they were in the water.

"What happened to going naked?" she joked, her voice a little lower than normal.

Nick glanced at the captain. "Strand's idea."

"Protecting the innocent," the older man told her, throwing her a very assumptive look.

"Me or him?"

"Good one," he said dryly.

She yanked her hoodie up over her head and handed it to him as she set to work tying up her hair. He hesitated before taking it, watching Nick as the boy admired her barely-clothed form with unabashed interest. Lumen glanced over at him and smirked, stepping over towards the edge of the platform.

"You have the address?" Strand asked Nick, who nodded, gesturing to the bag attacked to his ankle by a Velcro cuff. "Good. Then you're all set. Remember, this whole thing is time sensitive. No straying off course. Stick to the plan. There'll be a launch waiting to take you back."

"Ready?" Nick asked his partner in crime. She looked over at him, shaking her arms and dancing around a little in both an attempt to stave off the cold and psyche herself up.

"Yeah, just trying really hard not to think about Jaws."

She reached up to rest a hand on his shoulder as she looked down at the jet black seawater, then slid it down to give him a playful tap on the ass. "See you on the other side, kid."

Strand looked on with tired disapproval, but the moment the pair disappeared into the surrounding night, he found himself wishing for their safe return.

* * *

The ocean seemed to sense their fading stamina, spilling them onto the sand with one final heave. Panting, Nick looked around for Lumen as he wiped seawater from his stinging eyes. He spotted her a few dozen feet away, already heading towards him, her soldier's instinct kicking in as she readied herself for immediate action. She helped him to his feet, his legs like jelly after the lengthy swim, then dragged up the bag from the water, detaching it from around his ankle as she rested down on one knee. She looked up at him, offering a reassuring smile before unzipping the case and gathering up her weapon and clothes.

She surveyed the area as Nick changed, her hand resting on her sidearm out of habit, no sign of any immediate danger. The sound of a helicopter erupted from somewhere in the distance, growing louder by the second as it made its approach.

"We need to get moving," Lumen told him, staring at the beam of the spotlight heading towards them.

The aircraft zoomed past overhead, completely oblivious of their presence and she felt herself relax a little. For a collapsing society, the security sure hadn't grown very lax. From what she understood, the man they were going to collect would play a big role in getting them across the border, though something told her the original plan hadn't involved more than two people, let alone ten. If gold couldn't buy their way, she had a feeling bullets might, but that was assuming she had any left by the time they made it back. She hoped this guy was packing.

Making their way up the dark, abandoned shoreline, they came upon a sea of tents, no sign of the former occupants. Lumen slipped her knife from the sheath on her belt, a mere precaution should they find themselves in any danger. It was likely the remnants of a colony of asylum seekers; people abandoned by their government and left to find their own way through the violent mess closing in on them. Maybe they'd been on the run from their own military, more willing to face the bleak unknown then entrust their lives to a bunch of gun-toting bureaucrats. She didn't blame them. They made their way deeper into the settlement, ears pricking with the rustle of open tents flaps, their eyes gradually adjusting to what little light the moon provided them. Lumen paused by the perimeter fence as she spotted piles of driftwood on the ground, trying to figure out their significance. Stepping around them, she made out the last plea of a desperate people: SAVE US.

The camp was still littered with personal belongings and supplies: suitcases, coolers full of spoiled food, blankets and sleeping bags, children's toys…She glanced away. Part of her wanted to believe that these people had managed to be evacuated to some kind of safe zone. Only there weren't any more safe zones. She was well aware of that. Her mind drifted back to the neighborhoods she had been tasked to clear. She had heard stories of other squads coming across living civilians. She knew what the orders were for those outside the quarantine zone, the kinds of things the soldiers were expected to carry out. Nearby, an American flag flapped in the breeze.

"Lu!" She heard Nick's hoarse whisper a few rows over, pulling her from her thoughts. Glancing up, she caught his nod and followed his gaze towards a lone, shambling shape not far from them. He gestured for her to follow and took off towards it before she could protest.

"Goddammit, Nick," she muttered under her breath, keeping low as she followed after him, her movements practiced and silent. As she caught up with him, he gestured to one of the open tents and she threw him a confused look.

"Wait inside."

"What are you doing?"

"Trust me, okay?"

She watched as he picked up an empty water cooler container and began banging it against his hand, drawing the attention of the infected man. He turned with a snarl, following the noise as Nick backed towards the appointed shelter. Slipping inside next to Lumen, he zipped up the fly-screen and waited. Sure enough, the decaying man dropped to his knees in front of them and began clawing at the thin layer separating him from his prey. Lumen looked on, curious, as Nick took a small knife from his pocket and took hold of the man by the jaw. He held him for a moment with an intense focus she found intriguing, then jabbed his blade through its head. Feeling Lumen's gaze, he looked back, unzipping the screen.

"What's the idea here, Nick?"

"Camouflage."

"Oh, come on. I'm not putting that shit on me."

"Like I said, trust me. It'll keep us safe if we run into any more. They'll think we're one of them."

"Yeah, because we'll smell like fucking corpses."

He threw her a look as he dragged the body inside, dropping it on the floor between them.

"After you, by all means," she invited, cringing at the sudden stench that filled the small space. She had almost gotten used to it while she was out clearing the streets with her men. There had been times where the streets had been lined with piles of the dead, infected or otherwise, the hot Californian sun speeding up the decomposition process. She could almost still hear the buzz of the flies as they filled the air with their electric hum.

Nick tore open the dead man's shirt, though considering the hideous pattern of the material it wasn't that great of a loss. Glancing up at Lumen, he held his knife over the man's belly, readying himself for what came next. She cringed but didn't look away as he finally plunged the blade deep into the abdomen, slicing away at the mottled-grey flesh. When he finally had a wide enough incision, he pocketed the knife once more and took hold of each side of the wound, yanking it open even further. He turned away, gagging, but was surprised to find that, although her expression was far from impressed, Lumen didn't seemed overly perturbed. Regaining control of his gag reflex, he shoved his hands into the mess of guts until they were sufficiently covered in gore, then proceeded to smear it across his cheeks like some kind of bizarre blood ritual. Lumen observed his calm process with a kind of awed fascination. It was almost as if he'd slipped into a trance, his eyes closed as he dragged his bloodied fingers down his neck.

When he opened his eyes again, there was an intensity to them that she wasn't expecting. Recoating his hands in blood, he reached across and ran his fingers across her forehead and down her cheeks, stopping as they came to meet once more beneath her chin. She barely noticed the sensation, locked in his deep gaze. There was something different about him, as if in the process of slipping into his newly-discovered cloaking method, he had taken on a different persona – the usual light-hearted, sunny Nick she had been drawn to, replaced by this darker, far more intense version. Her mind flashed back to the moment aboard the Abigail, that fleeting opportunity to give in to an ever-growing attraction that was becoming harder and harder to deny. Of course it had to be the junkie. If ever there was a competition between her and the universe for who had the more twisted sense of humor, the universe was looking like a pretty solid bet.

She forced herself to stand her ground in the event of a repeat of the earlier incident, but when Nick finally made his move, it was faster and with more force than she had been expecting. His blood-stained hands continued over her neck and shoulders, down along her exposed arms as he pulled her towards him. She tried not to think too much about the warm, sticky feel of the muck coating her skin, or of the mutilated body lying between them, but the moment their lips met all rational thought disappeared. There was something primal about it; covered in blood, giving into lust even in the midst of so much death. It overshadowed any reservations she might have had about the gruesome circumstances, driving her instead to deepen the kiss and attempt to move closer to him. Then, like some kind of mind-reading, cock-blocking apparition, Strand popped into her thoughts reminding her of their time-sensitive mission.

She pulled away, brushing Nick's gore encrusted locks back from his face as his eyes searched hers, his expression still calm and focused. She broke the moment with a sheepish smile and glanced down at the dark blood coating her arms. "We better get going. It'll be light in a few hours. What do you think? Early Halloween costume complete?"

Much to her dismay, he appeared unsatisfied with her level of gorification, shoving his hands back into the bleeding mess on the ground between them and smearing more of it over her face, neck and down the front of her shirt. Looking her over with a final nod of approval, they emerged from the tent a pair of blood-soaked specters of death.

* * *

The wind was beginning to pick up as Chris perched himself up on the deck railing, overlooking the lower level of the yacht. Shrugging deeper into the comforting warmth of his hoodie, he laced his fingers around the cold metal of the handgun Daniel had given him. After finally working up the nerve to leave the state room, willing to face whatever concerned looks and comments the others threw at him – or worse yet, the possible cold indifference he might find instead – he had discovered the old man sitting at the dining table cleaning his firearm, silent but alert. He knew the Salazar's didn't trust their captain – thought that he might turn on them at any given moment – but then they didn't trust Lumen much either, and that gave Chris a lot of room to doubt their judgment. She had been there for them from the very beginning, even before they'd met – cleaning up the streets, taking down the infected, keeping the other soldiers in check; doing what had to be done. She hadn't hesitated when they'd had their run in with the other soldier back in the parking garage. She always put their safety before her own, and yet somehow she still ended up the outsider with little thanks to show for it.

But then that's how it always was with the Clarks.

He had known from his first dinner with them – his father's attempt to integrate the tatters of his first family into this shiny new endeavor – that he would never really be a part of them. He would always be the outsider, too. He got along with Alicia sometimes, but he knew she was just trying to be nice. She would never understand the isolation. She was pretty, popular, and most things just seemed to come easily for her. It was easy to stay optimistic when there wasn't a whole lot to make you feel otherwise.

And then there was Nick. For someone who was rarely around, he still found a way to be the main topic of conversation in the Clark household, and it hadn't taken long for Madison to rope Travis into the 'Save Nick' cause. He knew his dad thought it was the divorce that had caused him to snap, but he was wrong. It was having to compete with a vanishing junkie and a sister acting out if only to remind her mother that she still existed too. His father only seemed to notice him when he was making mistakes, but even then he rarely had the time to acknowledge them. The fact that a woman he had barely known for longer than a week could show him more interest and attention then his own father had for the past two years only drove that painful wedge in further.

He had made his way up onto the deck half-hoping to find their soldier out there taking in the still night, but she was nowhere to be found. Since he had just come from the stateroom, there were only two other places he could think of that she might be; with the captain up in the bridge, or with Nick. The pang of jealousy he felt at the mere thought of the latter had him once again craving her company. For the first time he finally felt like he had an ally, someone who had his back. He wouldn't let Nick take that from him too.

Running a hand back through his hair, he turned his head to the rasp of the door sliding open to his right. For the briefest of moments he felt his breath catch before realizing it was only Ofelia. She came towards him with a friendly smile, glancing around at the night sky and the lights off in the distance as she tugged a blanket a little tighter around her shoulders to stave of the cool air. She held out a can of soda and he finally relented with a small smile of his own.

"Thanks."

"What are you doing out here? Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

He didn't want to tell her Daniel had tasked him with a night watch, that her old man was just as paranoid as his own, so instead he gave her a half-truth.

"Too much noise in my head."

Ofelia nodded, familiar with the feeling.

He didn't mind the Salazar's – he and Travis owed them their lives anyway after they had taken them in during the riots. He knew Ofelia had played a big part in convincing Daniel to let them stay. He didn't want to think about what might have happened if they had turned them away.

"How's your shoulder?" he asked, nodding to the white bandage that was just visible above the neckline of her shirt. She touched her fingers to it and gave an encouraging smile.

"It's healing. Doesn't hurt as much as it did." She glanced up to meet his gaze and he could see what she wanted to say. That it was thanks to his mother; that she might not have made it if it weren't for Liza. They let that thought sit unspoken between them, gazes drifting back to the lights out on the water – the first signs that they were close to reaching their destination.

"You ever been?" he asked her, catching her questioning look of response. "Mexico?"

"No. My parents crossed through Tijuana when they first left El Salvador."

"You've never been back?"

She shook her head. "We never really left the neighborhood once we got settled. They put everything into that shop. And I put everything into watching over them."

Chris looked over at her, sensing a regretful undertone to the statement. He wondered how much of her own life she had sacrificed for the sake of her parents. After his own parents' divorce, he had found himself acting as a kind of go-between, trying to make sure they were both coping, that he didn't make things any harder. But that was before Madison had come into the picture. It was as if his father no longer needed him, like he was abandoning them all over again over this mediocre prospect of a new beginning. He had sacrificed his sleep, his grades, his own peace of mind for the sake of trying to keep his family together in some small way, but all he had gotten in return was the occasional half-assed invitation to come and spend the weekend in El Sereno. He had taken solace in solitude, refocusing on his own life and where he wanted to take it. He had learned to embrace the isolation.

"What did you do, you know, for yourself?" he asked her now, wondering if she had found her own similar method of coping. She looked at him again, waiting for him to elaborate. "Like…relationships, that kind of thing."

She smirked and he felt his face grow warm under the cold night air.

"I had some," she replied.

Hoping she hadn't gotten the wrong impression from the question, he grasped for something to make it sound less probing. He thought back to his conversation with Lumen back in the diner, how she had managed to somehow keep the topic so casual.

"Yeah, I was, uh, seeing this girl back in Pomona."

"Long time?"

"No. No, only a few months. Then my mom moved us back to LA. New school. New friends." Not that there had been many.

"Yeah, I went to a catholic school, K through to 12. Definitely had some fun my parents didn't know about," she chuckled, eyes glinting playfully under the low light of the moon. "Made some bad decisions." Her expression grew distant as she recalled some of the wilder moments of her youth, and she found herself smiling. Whatever happened from here on out, she couldn't say she hadn't at least gotten to live. Glancing over at the teen next to her, she realized the same thoughts were weighing heavily on him, though for the opposite reason. "Hey. You're gonna be able to make some," she reassured him, "There are still girls on this planet."

He managed a small smile as he considered the likelihood of running into any, let alone any his own age. Maybe that wasn't how it had to be now, though. The rules had changed. His thoughts went to Lumen again, the memory of her naked body forever burned into his mind. It had been an honest mistake, but the longer he thought about it, the less he regretted it. Maybe there was something there worth exploring. If only he could figure out how to approach it. He thought back to their conversation earlier that day. _Us black sheep gotta stick together._ They had that, at least.

"That's what I'm banking on?"

"Yes," Ofelia grinned at him. She gave a giggle at his skeptical expression, her pretty face lighting up for the first time since he had met her.

"That there's still girls on this planet?"

"Yeah. Somewhere out there."

Splashing sounded from the water close by. They froze. The beam of a flashlight caught his attention first, illuminating the shape of an approaching life raft. For a brief moment he thought it was Alex, that she had somehow managed to follow them and had come back to exact her revenge, and he took out his sidearm, more than willing to fight back if it came to that. He was still unsure where he stood with the whole debacle; whether, had it been his decision, he would have voted to bring them both back in the first place. Alicia had once told him you couldn't save everyone, a statement he had refused to agree with at the time; but she appeared to have done a complete 180 on the concept since then, while he saw the truth in it more and more every day.

"Help! We need help!"

"What the hell?"

He turned to Ofelia, hoping she might be the one to make the call, not trusting himself to make the right decision alone. The raft drew closer until it reached the edge of the lower deck. The three occupants – two men and a heavily pregnant woman – began boarding without invitation, desperation marked on their faces.

"Should I shoot them?" Chris asked, gun aimed, looking completely clueless as they climbed the staircase. He found himself glancing back at the cabin, praying that Lumen might appear. She would know what to do. She could handle this. He could go look for her, tell her what was happening, but it was all happening too fast. He wouldn't leave Ofelia alone. So he went with the next best option.

"Dad!"

Ofelia moved towards the desperate survivors, her own weapon clutched in her hand, but her attention drawn to the blood trickling down the woman's leg.

"There's something wrong with the baby," one of the men told her as she slung the woman's arm around her neck and helped carry her towards the warm interior of the ship.

"Dad!" Chris called again, the situation quickly growing out of his control. Relief flooded through him as the cabin light clicked on. Travis appeared tugging a shirt on over his head, with Madison not far behind. Never one to be too far away when trouble reared its head, Daniel followed after them, his shotgun clutched in his hands.

"They just got on the boat, dad," Chris explained before Travis could start laying any blame, "I didn't invite them on, they just boarded."

"She's in bad shape, man," the older of the two men told them, as if sensing the potential rejection. His face was pale as he looked down at the steady flow of blood leaking from under her dress. "Please. Please help us."

Madison and Travis exchanged looks.

"I'll take her in," Madison volunteered, taking her from Ofelia and the stranger. The woman continued to sob as she limped towards the open doorway.

"Stay here," Travis told the man, looking back at the younger one behind him, whose eyes were wide and panicked. He moved to the railing, surveying the water below. "Where's your boat?"

"We lost our engines," he explained, running his fingers back through his scruffy, windblown hair, "We've been drifting for days."

Travis considered this for a moment, glancing from the strangers to his son and Daniel. As usual, the old man looked unconvinced, he weapon raised and ready. As much as he agreed with Madison, that what Strand had done to the survivors of the plane was incomprehensible, the way the captain constantly turned a blind eye to the suffering of others unforgivable, actually having the problem showing up on his doorstep demanding refuge was a different thing entirely. He knew it was hypocritical, that after every heated argument with Strand he should have easily been able to welcome these people on board, but something just didn't feel right.

"Please, we're good people," said the younger of the two, his gaze imploring.

Travis eyed them warily.

A noise behind them drew their attention to the door where Alicia stood, eyes bleary with sleep. She took in the scene before her, gaze drawn immediately to the younger man; a voice she had grown familiar with.

"Jack?"

Daniel looked back at her, quickly putting it together. "What did you do?"

What came next was a blur of movement. Taking advantage of the brief moment of distraction, Jack shoved Daniel, taking his weapon and turning it back on him. His accomplice slugged Travis hard in the face, then caught him again in the stomach as he doubled over. Overcome with shock from the sudden turn of events, Chris lost grip of his weapon as it was yanked from his hand, Ofelia receiving similar treatment. Unarmed, staring down the barrel of a gun, Chris glanced up at the top deck, praying for Lumen to appear, to come to their aid like she always did. But as they were forced back towards the cabin, their protests continuing to go unheard, it quickly became apparent that this was not going to be the case. They were on their own.


	15. Chapter 15: The Assistant

**AN: Hey all! So I wanted to get out another chapter before I lost momentum. I'm getting a lot of ideas for the season 3 storyline, so I'm trying my best to keep things moving forward so I can catch up. This one may have gotten a little long... One thing I want to mention before I go – I'm a little bit disappointed by the response I got for my last update. I know it hasn't been that long since the chapter was posted, but the view to review ratio seems really uneven at the moment, and it is disheartening as a writer to put the effort in and then to not hear a lot back from my readers. One chapter can take me days to finish, and it only takes a minute or two to review. Knowing that people are still interested and are actually enjoying the story helps me a lot with the creative process, and letting me know what you don't like helps all the more! Thank-you to the one or two people who did take the time to review, and I hope to hear from more of you in the future!**

* * *

 **Chapter Fifteen: The Assistant**

The sun was rising steadily as they made the steep climb up a dirt path towards the new housing development overlooking the sea. The welcoming warmth of the sun's rays, combined with the physical exertion, gradually began to thaw out their cold and weary limbs. The land began to flatten out as a perimeter fence came into view, and they followed it around until they came to a pair of chained gates. Lumen looked up at the barbed wire adorning the top of the chain-link barrier, then turned back, hand resting on her sidearm, expecting to see at least a handful of infected shambling around the area. She was relieved to find that they were alone. Slipping through the small gap that the chains had allowed, Nick turned back to her.

"You coming?"

She flashed him a smirk. "I dunno. Might be a little snug," she joked, referring back to Alicia's off-hand remark about the way her borrowed clothes had fit.

Even under the thick layer of gore, Nick still managed a disapproving look. "She doesn't know what she's talking about." As if to prove this, he looked her up and down and smiled. "You want to talk about what happened before?" he asked, as she squeezed through into the estate.

"Kind of hoping to avoid that," she grunted.

Smirking, he took a scrap of paper out of his pocket and looked it over before pocketing it once more and starting up the deserted street.

"Then I'm just gonna have to keep hassling you about it until you do."

"What do you want me to say, Nick?" she said, falling into step beside him, "I don't know if it's a great idea."

"Why not?" Thoughts of her brother crossed his mind. Did she think he was destined for the same fate, looking to avoid setting herself up for another heartache?

"Well, for one, your mom doesn't seem a big fan of the idea."

"So what? She's not a big fan of most of my ideas. If it had been up to her I would have been locked away in a rehab center with a bunch of strangers when all of this went down. We would never have met. I probably wouldn't even be here. Come on, what's the real reason? Look, if I read the situation wrong…"

"No, it's not that." Catching the sly smile that cut across his face, she realized she had fallen straight into his trap.

"So what then? The age difference?"

"Maybe. I'm just…it's never been my thing. I'm not good at this stuff."

He threw her an incredulous look. "That's not a reason."

"Oh, trust me. It would only be a matter of time before you'd find out."

"So you do want to give this a shot," he grinned, somehow managing to look charming even under all the blood.

"I'm not saying that." She sighed. "I mean, I'm not saying no, either. I'm just not making any promises."

"I didn't ask you to."

"You know what Strand hired me for, the kinds of things I might have to do. If shit goes sideways…I don't want to put you through something like that."

He narrowed his eyes. "Meaning what? You think if something happened to you now that I wouldn't care? It'd be no different."

She cocked her head, giving some credence to his theory, but her expression only seemed to grow weary. Sensing her discomfort, he offered her a gentler, far more reassuring smile, and turned his attention back to the road.

"Why do you think he sent both of us?" he asked, glancing up to survey the surrounding streets as he kicked at a loose stone, sending it hurtling out in front of them. Lumen looked over at him, noticing once again how casual he appeared as they strolled through the eerily-empty estate. Even the occasional stray infected they spotted meandering towards them didn't seem to bother him, her own hand itching for her knife as she glanced over at the walking corpses.

"I'd assume in case one of us doesn't make. At least this way one of us makes it back. We should just both get killed. That'd show him."

Nick smiled, gaze continuing to drift across the quiet cluster of houses, seeking out a street sign that might point them in the right direction.

"What do you know about this guy?" Lumen asked, curious about how much Strand had revealed to him.

"Nothing. You?"

"He's his boyfriend's assistant or something. I think he used the term loosely."

"Boyfriend?"

"No, assistant."

"No, I mean Strand has a boyfriend waiting for him?"

"Right? He must be the most patient damn man in the world. I'll have to shake the guy's hand when I meet him."

They walked on in silence for a little while, Lumen following Nick's lead as he turned down one of the side streets, the stench coming off them as they continued on in their gore-covered disguises beginning to intensify under the hot Californian sun.

"Who was the last guy you were with?" Nick asked, the thought of Strand having a secret lover triggering memories of his last hook-up – the ill-fated Gloria. A troubled look came over him as he recalled the last time he had seen her; covered in blood, pupils milky white as the infection took over the body he had gotten to know so well.

"With or 'with'?" Lumen replied.

"Either."

She thought about it, lips scrunched to one side as she struggled to remember.

"That long, huh?" Nick teased. She threw him a look.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think. Shit, I think it was a while ago. There was a guy in my squad. We served together for a while. A bit of an asshole, but when you're on the road long enough with the same people you get used to their shit, I guess."

"What happened to him?"

"He made it back to quarantine. But that's about as far as he got."

She caught the sympathetic look he threw her, but shook her head.

"He was a good soldier. But he's not the first I lost."

"That's not something you get used to, though."

"I try not to get too attached."

Further silence followed as they did their best not to dwell on past flings, knowing the likely fate of all of those they had once been close to.

"I think Chris has a bit of a crush on you."

Feeling Nick's gaze, she glanced over again and found an expectant look on his face, as if he were awaiting further comment on the potential outcome of this. Disgust swept across her features.

"And? Jesus, he's sixteen years old, Nick!"

"So what? It's the end of the world. Different rules now."

"I know I've done some pretty morally questionable shit since all this went down, but I'm not about to add 'sleeping with a minor' to that list. Good to know you've got such solid morals, though. Christ."

Nick chuckled as she pulled a face. Lumen, meanwhile, was trying desperately not to recall the dream she'd had about the younger teen only days earlier. It had been completely inappropriate, and given the way Chris had started following her around lately, she really didn't want to give off the wrong impression. She had only just started to gain some trust from the other adults – the last thing she needed were those kinds of accusations being thrown around.

"What gave you that impression, anyway?"

"I mean, aside from seeing you naked…" He grinned as she shot him another look. "The night you were sick, he just kind of took over. He really wanted to be there for you. Told me he had it under control."

"Kicked you out, huh?" she chuckled, recalling how she'd woken up to the younger teen watching over her.

"Yeah, but I mean I've never seen him act like that before. He actually talks to you. Comes out of his shell a little. He trusts you."

"He's going through some shit. I'm just trying to help. How was he before all this?"

He shrugged. "From what I saw of him he always kinda kept to himself, you know? He gets along with Alicia. For the most part, anyway. You've seen what she's like. She cares."

"You guys talk to him much since his mom?"

"We try. It's like he doesn't want anything to do with us. We've always tried to make him feel welcome."

"You sure about that?"

He glanced over at her but she avoided his gaze as she surveyed the surrounding houses.

"What are you getting at? You can just say it."

"I used to get in trouble a bit at school. Wasn't much to begin with, just the odd remark to a teacher, sneaking cigarettes in the girls' bathroom. Little things. Enough to get me pulled into the principal's office with my parents. The thing was, when I was good I became the invisible child. Didn't matter how well I did at school, how far my team made it in the finals, the only time my parents ever noticed me was when I was messing up. Because they were too busy trying to fix my brother."

Nick glanced away.

"I never wanted Travis's help. I didn't ask for it."

"I'm not accusing you of anything. Well…Look, my point is, I don't think Travis's focus has been on _his_ son…"

Nick gave a resigned nod, his gaze dropping to his feet as he scuffed them against the asphalt, and she groaned.

"See, I told you I suck at this! Let me go back to killing things and making bad jokes. I know where my strengths lie."

This seemed to melt Nick's resolve, a small smile breaking through the thick layer of guilt that had washed over him at the mention of his past selfish behavior.

"What about you and Ofelia?" Lumen asked, doing her best to distract him.

Nick smirked at her poorly-concealed probing.

"What about us? I did something nice for her. She needed the meds, I happened to find some."

"And the rosary beads?"

He shrugged and looked back at her, squinting against the brightness of the sun. "I saw her praying a lot when her mom was staying with us. I thought it might help."

"Please. Guys never do nice things for girls unless they're trying to get laid."

"Hey, I helped look after you when you were sick, didn't I?"

"My point exactly. What was the house number again?"

Smirk widening, he checked bit of paper Strand had given them – their sole means of tracking down the mysterious 'Luis'.

"Come on, it can't be much further."

* * *

"I'm going to ask again. Who has the key to the boat?"

Chris looked up at the man in front of him, fury boiling inside of him, picturing every single way he would hurt him if he were to get loose. He tugged at his binds but they didn't budge. He knew this was on him. He had been the lookout. It had been his job to protect the others and he had failed.

 _Should I shoot them?_

That brief moment of indecision, that inability to do what had to be done, might just have cost all of them their lives. Had he been able to get his hands on a gun now, he wouldn't hesitate. He would kill all three of them. Even the pregnant one. Hell, he'd probably be doing her a favor considering the state of the world.

"The captain had them. Strand. They were probably with him when you shot him," Ofelia spat back.

In some bizarre moment of panic, without his hired soldier there to help him, Strand had abandoned the boat in one of the life rafts, but he hadn't made it far. His fate now was unknown. If he was dead, they had no way of making it across the border – if they even managed to make it out of the current predicament alive.

The leader, the one pointing the gun at them as they all sat, hands bound, trying desperately to keep their cool, turned back to Chris.

"That true?"

He gave no reply, staring back with a defiant scowl. Smirking, the man whipped him across the face with the butt of his pistol then pressed the muzzle to his head. Fear ripped through him and he looked to his father for help.

"Don't hurt him," Travis pleaded. With his hands bound behind his back just like the others, there was little else he could do.

"You have until the count of five to tell me where the keys are. One."

"Please, you're making a mistake."

"Two."

Chris glanced from the attacker to his dad. He couldn't tell if he was bluffing. If he killed him now, the chances of the others cooperating were slim. Better complacent hostages than scared, angry ones. He heard the sound of the hammer cocking back and his heart began to pound.

"Dad!"

Desperate, Travis grasped for the only thing he could think of that might get them out of this. "Look, you don't need the keys. I can hotwire the boat, okay? Just don't hurt my son."

The ringleader turned back to him considering the offer just as Madison was led in. A trail of blood flowed down the side of her face, clotted in her blonde hair.

"Maddy?"

"I'm okay, Travis," she reassured him, glancing around at the others, noting a few glaring absences. "Where's Nick?"

"He wasn't there when I woke up," Alicia replied softly.

"I heard gunshots."

"Strand abandoned the ship," Daniel told her.

"Was he hit?"

Daniel glanced from the hijackers' leader to the pregnant one holding Madison. "We don't know."

"Was he alone?" As much as she didn't often agree with the soldier, she couldn't see her pulling such a gutless act; not after her display back on the beach in LA, and considering what she'd witnessed between the woman and her son – that growing co-dependency that, despite knowing it was helping keep Nick clean, she still struggled to approve of – she doubted she would have left Nick behind.

They glanced over to the door as Jack stepped back inside.

"Strand yanked out the wheelhouse radio. No sign of the others."

"Connor wants the soldier."

"I checked everywhere, man. She's not here. Nick either."

Their orders had been very specific. They only took the useful ones; the ones who could earn their keep. As far as they were concerned, the rest were simply dead weight.

Hearing the mention of Lumen, Chris glared at them. He didn't want to think about why both she and Nick were missing. He knew his step-brother had a tendency to disappear without thinking about how it might affect others, but he didn't think Lumen would do the same. She was no coward, and he doubted she would ever just abandon them. No. It had to be something else, some reasonable explanation. He wouldn't let himself think that they'd run off together.

"Well, Travis here just bet his son's life that he can hotwire the engine," the ringleader said with a cocky smirk. He looked to the pregnant woman. "So Vida can watch them while we go see if he's telling the truth." He turned back to Jack. "Go find the spare radio. Reach out to Connor. Oh, and take your princess with you."

As Jack moved to take Alicia, Madison got to her feet, stepping between them.

"No, no, no. She stays here."

"Mom, don't," Alicia told her with a steady gaze, trying her best to reassure her. "It's okay. I brought this on us, I can make it better. I trust him."

Madison held her daughter's gaze for a moment, recognizing that old stubborn Clark look in her eyes. With a reluctant sigh, she stepped back, allowing Jack through. He took hold of Alicia by the arm and helped her to her feet.

"Alright, come on. Let's go."

They disappeared out the door, Alicia glancing back at them one last time, determined to make things right again.

"You better not hurt her," Chris growled at the leader.

"Why? She your girl?" The man smirked, a mocking glint in his eye.

"She's my sister."

"You're screwing your sister? Ooh, that's twisted, man."

Feeling his cheeks flush, Chris tried to cover his embarrassment with his best attempt at a threatening glare, but it only seemed to amuse the man further.

"Ignore him, Chris," Ofelia told him, her own expression equally as hateful.

"Alright," the leader said, pressing his pistol in Travis's back, "Let's go see if your son gets to live, shall we?"

They moved off towards the engine room, leaving them alone with Vida. They kept an eye on her as she strolled over to the bar; close enough to keep watch, but far enough away for them to speak without her hearing. If they were careful.

"Did you see Nick while you were on watch?" Madison asked Chris, her voice lowered. He shook his head, expression still stormy. "He might have gone up while we were on the bow. Lumen?"

"No," he answered again, looking away so they wouldn't see the anger building.

"They might be hiding out together somewhere on the boat."

"No," Chris assured her. "If she was here, they'd be dead by now."

* * *

The steady beat of a bouncing basketball echoed off the surrounding houses and up through the empty streets. Nick had spotted it in one of the gutters and, as if seeking out a mysterious man in a neighborhood scattered with infected wasn't enough to keep him entertained, had been quick to scoop it up. Tossing it to Lumen, he watched as she spun it on her finger before bouncing it once and tossing it back. Quickly growing bored of the novelty find, he bounced it one last time and kicked it into someone's front yard.

Up ahead, Lumen spotted one of the infected coming their way; a young woman missing a good portion of her face, shiny whit rows of teeth peeking out of a gaping bite wound on her cheek. Lumen slipped her knife from its sheath and moved towards her.

"Don't." Hearing Nick's quiet plea, she turned back to him.

"Why the hell not?"

"She's not hurting us."

"She's not a she anymore, Nick. She's one of them. At least this way it might save the next people who come through here the trouble."

"How do we know they're not, like, still conscious in some way? Maybe it's something we can't understand."

"No, I understand it. Person dies, the virus, or whatever it is, reanimates the corpse to try and spread itself further. It's the same as any other virus. Why do you think they don't attack us while we're like this? They think we're already infected. There'd be no point."

"How do you know it's a virus?"

"I heard whispers around the base, got my hands on some files I probably wasn't supposed to see. But, I mean, if they didn't want anyone to read them, they probably shouldn't have left them out in the open. Or at least used doors with better locks," she replied, smirking to herself.

Nick smiled but his expression was distant. "I dunno. I just…Back on the beach, when I was standing in front of that guy, I saw something. It was like there was still something there behind his eyes. He looked right at me."

"Yeah, because he was trying to figure out if he should eat you. That's all these things are. Mindless meatheads looking for their next meal."

"Doesn't sound any better than a junkie," he reasoned. "That's practically what we are, going out of our minds looking for our next hit."

"So, what? You think these guys are just flesh addicts? Think we should be sending them off to cannibal rehab? I dunno, from what I've seen a lot of them can't make it two steps very well, let alone twelve."

"I'm just saying it can't be that simple. There has to be more to it."

"I'm not gonna stand here arguing existentialism versus science with you, Nicky. Let's just get this guy and get out of here. I hear some tequila shots calling my name south of the border."

Finally turning down the street they had been looking for, they found themselves climbing up a steady rise once more.

"What was the number again?"

"9208."

"So it'll be on this side. 9200. 9202. Looks like it's the one at the top. Last one."

The house was far less lavish than the one back in Los Angeles, and though the building itself was complete, there was no perimeter fence and not a lot in the way of exterior landscaping. It was plain and unimpressive – not something Lumen would have associated with Strand, though she supposed it was still a work in progress. Not that it would ever be finished. She didn't imagine there were any post-apocalyptic real estate developers on the prowl looking for their next investment. _If you lived here, you'd be dead by now!_

"What are we going to do? Go up and knock?" she asked.

"That's the plan. He knows we're coming to get him, right?"

"Yeah, but I doubt the two of us rocking up in all our bloody glory is going to be particularly convincing."

"So we'll wipe our feet before we go in."

She stared at him for a moment with a smile, taking in his gore-soaked look, wrinkling her nose at the smell coming off them both.

"What?"

"I'm just trying to figure out how I managed to kiss you with that shit all over your face."

"I can show you if you want," he replied with a charming smirk.

Her smile bloomed into a grin, grateful that she had something to camouflage the blush she felt creeping into her cheeks, and she shook her head. "I think I'll take the more hygienic route and at least wait until we've both cleaned ourselves up a little. I don't even want to know how I look right now."

He looked her up and down – the red smeared over her face and caked in her blonde locks, the clots only just visible on her black tank top, the finger-trails of blood running down her arms – all of it his work. Though he had gotten lost in the moment trying to ensure she was properly covered, that his newfound method would be enough to keep her safe should they somehow wind up surrounded, he found himself trying to recall the way her skin had felt beneath his fingertips, eager to relive it sometime soon. Given her history with addicts, he wasn't sure how far she was willing to take things, but he was determined to make the best go of it. He didn't know how fate worked exactly, but he was sure things happened for a reason, and in any other life there would have been no reason for him to have crossed paths with her, let alone any reason for her to have given him a second glance – unless it was in disapproving recognition for what he was. It seemed too convenient that they had ended up where they were, that they should slip into such an easy friendship. He was sure he didn't deserve the devotion, the same way he had never deserved the amount of effort his mother had always put into trying to get him better despite his best attempts to prove he was a lost cause. But he had never been so grateful to have someone by his side.

"Alright, I'll head around the back and take a look around, you knock. I won't be far if you get into any trouble. Sound good?"

"Yes, ma'am," he smirked with a mocking salute, catching a glimpse of the former Sergeant Attebury peeking through. She cocked an eyebrow then took off around the corner, leaving him to greet Strand's contact alone. Approaching the door, he glanced in through the windows, cupping his hands around his eyes for a better look. Reaching the porch, he glanced around for a doorbell, but failing to see one, resorted to a couple of simple knocks. He waited, leaning in a little closer to listen out for footsteps. A safety clicked off behind him. He spun around.

"Whoa! Hey, Strand sent me, Strand sent me!" he told the dark-haired, mustachioed man who was eyeing him warily. A second safety clicked off nearby.

"Hey!"

They both turned to see Lumen approaching, sidearm raised, her gaze calm and focused.

"Luis Flores?"

He stared at her a moment, eyes slightly narrowed, before straightening up and giving a nod. She lowered her weapon.

"Lumen Attebury."

"Attebury," he repeated, his Latino accent giving a strange new lilt to the name, "You're the soldier Victor mentioned." He dropped his gun back down, though the suspicious look remained.

"That I am." She stuck out her hand and he glanced down at it before looking back up, unimpressed. Remembering she was covered from the chest up in infected blood, she dropped it back down before rubbing sheepishly at the back of her neck. "This is Nick." Glancing between them with a slight frown Nick gave the older man a nod. He just continued to stare. "Alright, then," Lumen said, breaking the awkward silence. "Let's get this show on the road."

"I need to grab some things," Luis told them.

"Sure thing. We'll wait outside."

Glancing back at them in their shared state of uncleanliness, he gave a curt nod. "Please do. And get off my porch."

Moments later he reappeared from the garage in an expensive-looking, pearly-white sedan, pulling to a stop in the driveway. Heading back inside, he reemerged carrying a black duffel bag and several small cases.

"You need a hand?"

"It's fine. I don't want you getting that filth all over the handles."

Lumen gave nod, exchanging a look with Nick. There was something eerily 'Strand-like' about this guy. Birds of a feather and all that, she supposed.

"So what is this place?" Nick asked, glancing around the neighborhood as they waited for him to finish loading the car.

"An Abigail home experience. Phase one was at ninety-percent capacity. We were about to break ground on phase two."

"Where is everyone?" Lumen asked, turning back to him.

"They fled. Some would have paid their way over the border. Others were awaiting military extraction."

They exchanged glances, both knowing the likely outcome of the latter. She thought back to the city of tents she and Nick had come across on the shore; people putting their faith in a government that should have been there for them. She wondered how many had managed to escape.

"Some, but not many, refused to abandon their homes. I'm sure you've seen them wandering around."

"Not many infected in the area, though," Lumen commented.

"No. Most were drawn to the firebombing, or the helicopters coming and going. There's no reason for them to come here."

"So then why the fences?"

"Just a precaution."

"So then why not just stay here?" Nick asked. "No infected, secured perimeter, houses full of supplies."

"Seems like a lonely place to start a new world. Besides, I prefer Mexico. We done with the questions?"

"You're the one getting all of us across the border, right?"

"Eh, if you clean up. You're definitely not rubbing that stench on my leather interior."

Lumen and Nick exchanged amused looks.

"Why not? You bringing the car on the boat?" Nick asked.

"Uh, not the point," Luis replied, shooing the boy's hand away as Nick trailed his finger over the car door, leaving a bloody smudge. Smirking, Lumen glanced at Luis. She leaned back against the vehicle, hand resting on her holster.

"Don't touch the car," he warned both of them, beginning to sound like an impatient parent. "Just…Go use the rest of the water pressure. Get cleaned up. There may not be enough for both, so use it sparingly. Or one of you will have to walk."

"That's okay," Lumen smiled at him, "We can share."

Smirking, Nick followed her towards the front door, glancing back at the unimpressed assistant. His eyes went to a red mark on the car door where Lumen had been standing and his smile widened as he made out the pattern; a smudged, bloody love heart.

* * *

After a decade on and off tour, enduring the dust and heat of Afghanistan, the days of marching and driving for days on end into and out of combat zones, hot water had always been a luxury to the former marine, and as Lumen stripped out of her soiled clothes and stepped into the spacious open shower, she found herself grateful once again for the opportunity to scrub away the latest layers of grime. She looked up at the large rain showerhead above her as she turned the tap and relaxed into the heavy fall of water. Focusing on the muck on her face first, she peered out through the haze of steam to see what was keeping Nick. He stood a few feet away admiring her form as he slipped his white, blood-stained t-shirt over his head and stepped out of his khaki pants. Smiling to herself, Lumen returned her attention back to the water, taking a small bottle of shampoo from the ledge and squeezing some of the rich-smelling liquid into her hand. As she began to lather her hair, she watched the water around her feet run red and brown into the drain, clumps of gore catching on the grill. Gradually, her hair turned back to its usual sandy blonde.

With her eyes closed against the flow of shampoo and water, she felt a warm body slip into the space behind her, the corners of her lips perking up as arms snaked their way around her middle. Nick pulled her back into him, pressing a kiss to her neck before stepping back to scrub away the blood smeared over his skin, the brief show of affection sparking a fluttering sensation through the soldier's stomach. She turned to face him, eyes following the water droplets down from his face to the bare, pale skin of his chest, reaching out and letting her fingertips trace the same path. The moment he was free of all the blood, she slipped her arms around his neck and drew him towards her. Nick paused a moment to take her in, her hair plastered against her cheeks and head, the scattering of freckles across her nose visible once more – one of the little details he loved most about her, though he was looking forward to finding more. He smoothed her hair back off her face, taking his time to enjoy this rare moment of vulnerability from the woman who always fought so hard to keep it together.

Leaning into her embrace, he guided her back until she was pressed against the cold tiles of the wall and met her lips with the same slow intensity as their first kiss, though with the threat of Luis bursting in on them at any moment for taking too long, there was far more urgency to the action than before. Pausing to catch their breath, they gazed at each other for a moment, breaking into matching grins. For the first time in a long time, they were happy.

* * *

Luis leaned back against the side of the car – now blood-graffiti free after a quick polish – and looked down at his watch. Straightening up, he clicked his tongue. They were losing time. Just as he was getting ready to go and see what was keeping the two, the front door opened and they emerged in their new makeshift outfits. Dressed all in black, they wore the same dress shirts, and dark slacks, Lumen somehow managing to give the clothes a feminine touch with the top of her shirt left mostly unbuttoned, her blonde hair falling in damp waves over shoulders. Unable to find any suitable shoes, she had resorted to keeping her army issue boots on beneath the more refined clothing. Nick had been lucky enough to come across his own pair of sturdy-looking boots, exchanging his stained white sneakers for the more practical option.

"What the hell took so long?" Luis demanded.

The pair paused and exchanged guilty smiles before Lumen replied, "I guess we were a little dirtier than we thought."

Luis glared at them as they made their way over.

"Shotgun," Nick said casually.

"Fuck you," came the soldier's reply, earning a laugh from him.

Luis just shook his head as he opened the driver's side door. "I'm starting to see what Strand meant about you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just go. We're running late enough as it is."

* * *

The ride back to the shore was a lot faster and far more stylish than the journey up had been, accompanied by loud Latin music Luis insisted on blasting all the way there. Lumen slouched in the back seat, tempted to lean forward and shut off the radio, willing to risk whatever argument it might insight with the driver, but something sparked deep in her memory, a familiar voice echoing up from the deep.

 _Hey, Andrews! Do you mind turning that shit off?_

She smiled to herself as thoughts of her time on the road with her squad started coming back to her; just the little moments that had made all the horrors of the outbreak that little bit easier to deal with. Then just as quickly her thoughts turned to each of their fates. She wondered if Andrews had gotten out in time. The smile dropped from her face.

"Hey, you okay?"

She glanced up at Nick, the distant haze in her eyes slowly receding as she brought herself back to the present. Catching the concern in his eyes, the way his brows drew together, she felt a pang of grateful affection. Offering him a reassuring smile, she nodded.

"What did you mean by 'all of us'?" Luis asked Nick, speaking over the radio. Catching the boy's expression, he elaborated, "Before, when you said 'getting all of us across the border'. Who's 'all of us'? I told Strand I had enough gold for two."

As they approached the beach, they began to encounter larger numbers of infected, a few of them turning in the direction of the approaching vehicle, drawn by the crunch of the tires and the thump of Luis' incessantly loud music. Vacating the car, they set to work unloading the bags and carried them down to the beach.

"Okay, so how difficult is a few extra people?"

"It's not like adding guests to a dinner reservation. This was finely calibrated. It took time to plan."

"Okay, is there any other way into Mexico?"

"I secured transit for two. I've got money for two. Adding eight more is a problem."

"Okay, so Strand must have planned for us," Nick reasoned.

"Victor is impulsive."

"So you've known him a long time?"

"Years."

"My condolences," Lumen joked. He glanced over at her as he dumped the bags by a small precipice before heading back for the rest.

"You, I can understand," he told her. "He likes his security. He likes to obligate people, too."

"Obligate? He should feel obligated to me. I'm the one who broke his ass out of quarantine."

"And now you're travelling safely aboard his luxury yacht. Seems fairly even."

She cocked her head in passive agreement and turned back to the infected that were slowly moving in on their position. "So what's Thomas like? I'm trying to figure out how someone tolerates Strand for as long as he has."

"Thomas is a good man. My mother has worked for the Abigail's a long time. For the father, now the son. She raised Tom and I together. She's staying in the Baja house now."

"So it's safe there, right?" Nick asked, "I mean, you wouldn't let your mom stay there if it wasn't."

"You don't know my mom, man. My mother would be safe anywhere. Especially this one. Death is a new way to life."

Lumen rolled her eyes. She had been around death a long time. In her experience, there wasn't anything 'renewing' about it. It was the end. Donesies. Game over. No one came back from that. Well, with the exception of the corpses shambling around the streets, but as far as she was concerned they were nothing more than decomposing vehicles with a nasty virus behind the wheel. She caught the look Nick threw her way, as if he finally had support to back up his way of thinking and she found herself unable to keep quiet any longer.

"How do you suppose that is?"

The assistant turned back to her.

"I mean, they seem pretty dead to me."

"But they are still walking around, no? Death is determined when there is no longer any activity in the brain."

"If that's the case, I've worked with my fair share of dead guys."

"So how do you explain them?" he went on, gesturing to the infected wandering the hills beyond them.

"Look, all I know is if I went up there right now and cut one of their arms off, they'd keep going like nothing happened. I've seen ones cut in half that still manage to drag themselves along. That's not living. That's not natural."

"Then how do _you_ suppose that is?" he countered.

Sensing a dead end to the argument, she gave a resigned shrug. "All I know is, I much prefer this kind of living to whatever the heck that is. Anyway, back to the issue at hand. What's the plan if we can't buy our way across?"

"You can't. There is no plan."

Lumen frowned, seeing the impending issue. "You got guns in one of those bags?"

Luis glanced up at her. "I might. But we can't shoot our way through, if that's what you're getting at. You want to bring the whole damn flotilla down on us?"

"Just a thought. We wouldn't have to kill everyone. Just, you know, enough to slip through." She pressed her palms together and slipped them outwards as if to demonstrate the improved tactical maneuver. She glanced to Nick, who was smirking, and was surprised to hear an amused snort from their new companion.

"Strand was right about you," he commented as he slammed the trunk closed, the ambiguous statement drawing a suspicious frown from the woman.

"What does that mean?"

Rather than reply, Luis tossed a bag over his shoulder and grabbed a couple of the black cases, making his way back over to the rest of the luggage. Taking hold of a rope that appeared to have been prepared earlier, he began to rappel down the side of the small cliff.

"Hey! What does that mean?"

* * *

Time seemed to drag as they sat waiting for any sign that this ordeal might soon be over, trying their best to ignore the painful friction of the ties binding their wrists, the persistent itches they were unable to scratch, or how badly they needed to use the bathroom. Just as Jack returned with Alicia in tow, the steady purr of the engine erupted from beneath them, but the impact this latest development might have on them remained to be seen. They all looked up as they caught the sound of a motorboat approaching from the rear.

Travis and his captor reappeared from the engine room.

"About time," the man said, releasing his grip on Travis, gun still raised but his aim less focused as he looked out the sliding door. Vida approached from the bar to watch the new arrivals board. Taking advantage of the momentary distraction, Travis slipped a crowbar out of his sleeve and slid it behind a cushion next to Daniel, exchanging meaningful looks with each of the others. The trip down to the engine room had proved fruitful after all.

A new man appeared in the doorway now, his unkempt hair and salt-and-pepper stubble giving the impression of someone who had been at sea for a lot longer than a week. He was flanked by two others; a redhead woman and a tall, balding man, both of them armed with rifles.

"This is a gorgeous vessel," he commented, looking around inside. He glanced at each of the prisoners, eyes coming to rest on Madison and the stream of dried blood down the side of her face.

"What happened to her, Reed?" he asked, addressing the man beside Travis.

"She hit her head," Vida replied for him, with an apathetic shrug.

The older man looked at both of them, disapproval marked clearly on his face. "You couldn't clean her up? Jesus, guys, come on."

"Connor, this is the one who started the boat," Reed interrupted, taking Travis by the scruff of his shirt once more and pushing him forward.

Connor nodded, looking him up and down, then glanced back to Reed. "And the soldier?"

"Jack said there was no sign of her. She was gone when we arrived."

Seeming disappointed by this development, the man sighed. "A shame. Oh well. Perhaps it was not meant to be. Travis. You and Alicia are to come with us."

"Wait, what are you talking about? What about my family?" Alicia asked, as Jack began leading her towards the door.

"We only need the two of you."

"Wait, where are you taking them?" Madison demanded, rising to her feet only to be shoved back down by the bald henchman.

Growing increasingly worried about this revelation, what this might mean for himself and Alicia, let alone the fate of those left on the Abigail, Travis looked over at Chris before turning back to their captors. "What are you going to do? You'll get them a boat, right?"

"Yeah, they'll get them to shore," Jack assured him, exchanging a meaningful look with his captain. Connor seemed to consider this before replying, "Fair enough," as if leaving the remaining passengers alive had not been part of the original plan. Picking up on this little tidbit, Madison glanced over at Daniel, then to crowbar Travis had dropped behind them. She continued to work at her binds, slowly feeling them begin to loosen.

Watching as Travis relented to their commands, she twisted more frantically. "Travis."

"It's okay, Maddy. I'll bring her back," he reassured her.

"Dad, please, dad," Chris begged, but before Travis could reply or offer some gesture of comfort, a black bag was slipped over his head. They followed suit with Alicia before leading them out, Vida trailing after them. The two armed henchman remained behind, standing on either side of the entrance.

This left them alone with Reed.

He waited until the sound of the motorboat faded into the distance before he began pacing slowly before them with a sadistic smirk, looking down at the pistol in his hands, spinning the chamber. He flicked it back into place as his gaze went to Chris, pleased to see the action achieve the desired effect as the boy's scowl deepened. Of all the people Connor could have left behind to take care of them, Reed was the last person they would have wanted. He gave the distinct impression of someone who had been bullied in high school, who had finally gained a little bit of power and had every intention of using it to inflict as much suffering as possible. Despite Connor's assurance that they would set free, once look at him was all they needed to see how likely that was going to be.

"Connor hasn't quite adapted to this world yet," he said, as he continued to pace, his pace slow, expression thoughtful. "He's got leadership skills, holds us together. Big heart, strong mind. Weak stomach." He looked around at them, the corner of his mouth quirking up; an animal toying with its prey.

"Put us on the launch," Maddy said, her voice even, but her eyes giving away her fear.

Reed scoffed.

"You can take the Abigail. Just let us go to shore."

"See, the launch goes with the yacht though, doesn't it? Besides, what if you decide you want the boat back? I don't like that ending."

The bald man by the doors turned back and shushed him.

"Excuse me?"

Then he heard it. The distant buzz of an incoming craft.

* * *

It was chilly out on the water, and as they sped across the choppy waves Lumen found herself thinking back to that very first night, when Nick had collected them off the beach. It seemed like so long ago now. The days and nights spent in such close quarters with the group of strangers had them quickly growing into an odd kind of family, all of them looking out for each other despite their disagreements. She knew she still had a long way to go in terms of being accepted rather than just tolerated, but it was nice to be part of a unit once more; to be depended on to see them safely to their next destination.

With any luck, the Abigail Villa would be their final stop. She wasn't sure how she felt about finally settling down somewhere after everything that had happened; a mixture of relief at finally getting the break she had been robbed of by the sudden outbreak, but also uncertainty over spending her remaining days with these people as her only company. She knew there had to be other groups of survivors out there somewhere, but considering Strand's propensity for rejecting outsiders, she doubted they would be expanding their little settlement once it was established. She would have Nick with her, at least, and that was something. She glanced over at him now, smiling to herself as she watched him survey the area through a pair of binoculars. His hair whipped around his face, looking much healthier after a good shampooing, and as it was blown back by a particularly strong gust of wind, she caught the way his brow crinkled.

"Hey, there's people on board, man!"

"What are you talking about?" Lumen took the binoculars from him and looked out at the awaiting boat, spotting two unfamiliar figures stationed at either side of the main cabin doors, both of them armed. She passed the binoculars to Luis before taking up one of the two rifles he had dug out of his luggage. Glad to have a loaded weapon once again, comforted by the familiar weight in her hands, she looked back to him, awaiting comment.

"The redhead yours?" he asked them.

"Nope."

He glanced back, watching as she checked the clip and loaded a round into the chamber. Following her example, Luis took the other gun and did the same. Nick took control of the rudder as they lined up their shots.

"I'll take the redhead," they said in unison. They exchanged glances.

"You take her."

"No, it's fine. You called it."

"I'll take the other one."

"Guys!" Nick exclaimed, reminding them of the more pressing situation.

"I've got the redhead," Lumen agreed.

It was difficult to keep a steady aim with the constant lurching of the raft, but at the opportune moment, they took their shots together. Nick watched the targets' heads snap back before they crumpled into heaps on the deck.

Back on board, the hostages startled as blood and brain matter sprayed onto the cabin windows. Relief flooded through Chris. It had to be Lumen. She was coming back. Everything was going to be alright.

Rattled by the sudden turn of events, Reed headed towards the door, now armed with a shotgun. The gunshots had proven the perfect distraction. As he attempted to slip past, Daniel rose to his feet and grabbed the barrel, ripping the gun from his hands as Ofelia shoved him into the doorframe. Acting quickly while their captor was still dazed, Madison made a dash for the crowbar, and without a second thought, shoved it through Reed's torso. He stumbled back towards the wall, staring back at them blankly, overcome with shock. The moment he was free from his binds, Chris moved towards him and grabbed hold of the metal bar jutting from his gut, determined to twist it in just that little bit further; all the anger, all the resentment, all the fear spurring him on. The others moved towards the deck to greet their saviors.

Nick was first up the staircase, walking straight into his mother's waiting embrace. Luis was next, but the moment he saw Daniel, the old man's gun raised and turned towards him, the assistant took up his own weapon.

"Hey! Drop it! Where's Strand?"

Nick stepped between the two of them just as Lumen followed up behind them.

"Jesus Christ," she muttered, taking hold of Luis by the shoulder and shooting him a disapproving look. "Would you both just put the goddamn guns down?"

"He's with us," Nick explained, "He's a friend. He helped. Strand sent us to get Luis, okay? He's going to help us get into Mexico."

"I was getting Strand into Mexico," Luis countered, cocking his head.

"Where is Strand?" Lumen asked.

Madison looked at her. "He abandoned the ship when they took over."

"Seriously?"

"They shot at his raft. We don't know if he made it."

Lumen exchanged a look with Luis and sighed. Glancing around at the others, she found a few unaccounted for, then spotted Chris inside. The moment their eyes met, the teen looked away.

"They took Travis and Alicia. I'm not going anywhere until we get them back."

"Well, we're not going anywhere without Strand, anyway," Luis retorted.

"Any idea where they went?" Lumen asked.

Madison shook her head. "We could try to track them on the radar. Otherwise we've got one of them inside. He's wounded."

Looking back at the cabin, Lumen moved towards it. Chris eyed her warily as she came to a stop beside him. She looked the prisoner up and down. Wounded was an understatement.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked Chris, and though he nodded, she could see the hurt look in his eyes. She suddenly realized how it must have looked with her and Nick both unaccounted for. Had he thought she had abandoned them? Noticing a purplish bruise forming on his cheek, she took hold of him by the jaw and turned his head for a better look. Surprised by the sudden contact, he froze beneath her touch.

"You must be the soldier," Reed chuckled, managing to sound condescending even in his current state. He looked to Chris. "You doing this one, too? Does your sister know?"

Lumen ignored the comments, gaze locked on Chris's. "He do this to you?" she asked, her eyes searching his. Unable to think for a moment, too distracted by her proximity, he finally nodded.

"She seems a little old for you, kid. Working out some mommy issues?"

Before Chris could reply, his face twisted with renewed rage, Lumen's fist shot out, connecting with Reed's jaw. He slumped to the ground, out cold.

"Hey, Daniel!" she called out, shaking the pain from her knuckles, "Wanna give me a hand taking this one downstairs? I think he and I need to have a little talk."


	16. Chapter 16: Do I Wanna Know?

**A/N:** I've been so busy these past few months, working, studying and trying to balance my personal life, I've barely had time to think about this story. I finally had time to sit down and work on an update today, when I realized upon opening the file that I pretty much already had an entire chapter written, just sitting there. So here is another installment, though I can't make any guarantees as to when the story will be updated again. I am fully determined to make it into the third season storyline, though, because I think things will get very interesting with Troy and the ranch coming into it. I'm sorry it's taken so long, but thank-you to those who have stuck by and waited it out! I look forward to your reviews.

* * *

 **Chapter Sixteen: Do I Wanna Know?**

"Living up to your name, I see."

Strand glanced over at the soldier from his position on the wheelhouse bench, rugged up with thick blankets but unable to stop shivering. Despite his miserable state, he still managed to muster his usual condescending look just for her.

"You sent Madison to collect me?" he commented, rubbing at the cold, stiff muscles of his arms.

"We drew straws," the soldier quipped.

He glanced over at his rescuer, who was barely listening to the exchange, her gaze fixed out at the expanse of ocean. Just when he had thought it was all over for him, that he would never have the chance to see Thomas again, or bask in the Baja sun, their golden-haired matriarch had shown up in the zodiac and offered him a lifeline. He resided now in her debt, loath to be in such a position, but then it was better than being left to freeze to death in the Pacific Ocean.

"Has he said anything yet?" Madison asked.

Lumen looked up at her, but the older woman's attention was still trained on the distant waves. "No. Still waiting for him to come around. Daniel's got him situated."

"What are you going to do?"

"You sure you want to know?"

Madison turned to look at her, then dropped her gaze. Travis and Alicia were both out there somewhere being held prisoner. At this point she really didn't care what the soldier did, and though the thought screamed hypocrisy, she found it easy to overlook the violence when it was her family's lives at stake.

"We don't have much time."

"You won't need it. We'll have our answer soon enough. Keep an eye on him, though," Lumen said, nodding towards their illustrious captain as his body continued to shake off the hypothermia. "Like our new friend said, we aren't going anywhere without him."

He drew the blanket up closer to his face, failing to cover his look of disdain. "Your concern is touching."

Lumen smirked. "You need anything?"

He frowned at her, so used to their usual exchanges that the genuine nature of the question threw him for a moment. "I'll be fine," he assured her.

"Good. It'll save Luis the work."

Strand managed a chuckle, which quickly developed into an unpleasant-sounding cough. "You seriously believe he'd play your willing errand boy?" he managed, once he had his breathing back under control.

"Willing? No."

Smiling at the captain's reaction to the comment, her attention was soon drawn to the stairs as Chris appeared looking hesitant. He glanced between them, eyes finally coming to land on Lumen.

"He's awake."

Her expression changed in an instant, all humor falling away to be replaced instead with a solemn determination. She nodded. "On my way." She glanced back over at Madison, silently reassuring her that she would get the job done, then followed Chris back down below deck.

"What are you going to do to him?" he asked, as they reached the hallway. She glanced over but gave no reply, sensing a little too much interest in the subject. She didn't know exactly what their captive had said or done during his brief captaincy, but Chris's mood seemed to have darkened dramatically, and considering his state of mind before that, she was concerned about where those thoughts might lead him. He wanted this man to suffer, and he wanted to make sure she was going to make that happen. Because if she didn't, he might.

"I'm just going to talk to him," she replied.

"What makes you think he's going to tell you anything?"

"I'm feeling pretty confident." She gave a thin-lipped smile and paused outside the door, fingers resting on the handle. Turning back to him, her eyes drifted from his bruised cheek back up to meet his eyes. "We'll get your dad back. He seems like he can handle himself. And if all else fails, maybe he can bore them to sleep with some Shakespeare, make his escape that way."

The joke failed to have the effect she had been hoping for, instead only managing to deepen the crease between his brows as he was reminded again of his current predicament. He had already lost one parent and the prospect of never seeing the other was weighing heavily on him now.

As they entered the room, they found Daniel crouched before the prisoner, tending to his wound. He glanced up at them and caught the soldier's eye; a silent acknowledgement of what needed to be done. Reed turned his head, the action slow and shaky as he followed the old man's gaze. He chuckled and turned back, unconsciously tugging against his binds as his imagination began to whir at the soldier's presence. At that moment he couldn't think of how it could get much worse than a crowbar through the gut, but just as it had at the news of the world ending, his instinctual need to survive began to kick in. He didn't want to die.

"We got a name?" Lumen asked as she stepped around the chair he was bound to. Coming to a halt in front of him, she took in his pale, sweaty complexion, then the bloodied bandages in Daniel's latex-gloved hands.

"Reed," Chris said as he moved past them and took a seat on the bed.

"Reed, huh? Kinda feel like if you'd done more of that you might have avoided this whole situation."

Reed glared up at her, managing to retain some of the dark humor in his expression as he replied, "You the ship comedian?"

"Every cruise needs it's entertainment," she smirked. Glancing over at the doorway, she caught Ofelia leaning against frame, a worried frown gracing her pretty features. Her gaze was on her father, moving from his blood-stained hands to the prisoner.

"I can take it from here, Daniel," Lumen told him. He threw her a look but the soldier gave a nod towards the doorway. Catching on, he rose to his feet, but Ofelia was already moving off down the hall. "I can keep our friend here company," she assured him.

With might have passed as a nod of acceptance, he threw Reed one last look, collected up the bottle of iodine solution he had been using to clean the wound, then headed for the door.

"Chris, why don't you go with him?"

"I'm fine here."

She studied the boy for a moment, then gave a nod. She would send him out before things could get messy. Reed was eyeing him, too, a twisted smirk on his face.

"Worrying about your dad, kid?" he asked with a cruel chuckle, "Wondering what's going to happen to him?"

Chris stared at him, his expression darkening, but remaining silent.

"I guess that all depends on how much you like him. Do you like your dad, Chris? He a good gu-" He cut himself off with a scream as Lumen wiggled the crowbar jutting out of his torso.

"That thing's wedged in there pretty good, huh?" she said casually, before locking eyes with him. She watched as some of that cocky confidence began to drain from his face. It was in that moment Reed realized he might not be the most sadistic one in the room, and for someone like him that was a rare occurrence.

Fighting to regain some footing in the situation, to cover up the agony he was in, he went on, "My dad, he was a real asshole."

"What's that old saying?" Lumen said, as she bent to pinch the fabric of his blood-soaked shirt, pulling it aside for a better look at the extent of his wound, "Something about apples and trees?"

He hissed as she let the sodden fabric fall back into place, then sniffed as his nose began to run, eyes watering from the pain.

"You ever see what happens when you clip a man's Achilles?" he asked. "Whole thing just sucks right back up inside the knee. Makes a sound like a firecracker. Yeah. That's what happened to my dad the last time he laid his hands on me."

Lumen rose back up, one hand resting on her hip as she considered him, wondering if this random detail from his past was somehow meant to scare them. She made a thoughtful face and replied, "I'll take your 'POP' of an Achilles and raise you the whining rasp of a drill twisting its way through skull. Yeah, that one really sticks with you." Her gaze grew distant for a moment as she stared at the floor, missing the way his smirk faltered. "Hey, Chris?"

The teen looked over at her as she met his gaze; quietly listening in to the conversation, and quietly horrified by her latest comment.

"Could you go find one of those buckets, fill it with a little seawater for me? See if you can find a rag? Clean, preferably. But it's not that important."

Brow creasing as he considered her need for such items, he hesitated before sliding across the bed and heading for the door, eyeing Reed as he went.

"Thanks," Lumen smiled. She was certain she wouldn't have any actual need for those items, but she needed him out of the room. Waiting for the click of the door, she turned back to her captive with a small smile. "You know you're not gonna make it, right?"

He laughed, barely managing to keep the panic from his eyes as she began to roll back her sleeves. She was too calm, achieving a level of cold indifference that he could only dream of in a situation like this. He began tugging at his binds once more.

"Maybe. But if I die, so do Travis and Alicia. You need me alive if you want to see them again. My brother finds out what you've done, none of you make it out of here alive."

She cocked her head as she considered his theory. "There's always that possibility. But this isn't the first hostage situation I've been involved with. I think you'll live long enough for us to make an exchange. Of course, we'll have to get that crowbar out of you first. Here's hoping you make it through that."

His eyes darted away from her at the mere thought of further pain.

"But we'll patch you up as best we can," she went on. "You know, kids like Chris, I kind of envy them sometimes. They still have the luxury of believing that it takes something like an apocalypse to bring out the worst in people." She took a seat on the foot of the bed, resting her forearms on her knees as she leaned forward, gazing at him. She smiled. "If you turn before we can make a deal, we'll just get our people back the old-fashioned way. I wish I could say the less bloodshed the better, but if I'm being honest, if it were up to me I'd make this easy, leave the world with a few less pieces of shit like you to worry about. Unfortunately, I'm sharing this boat with people who don't take too kindly to that sort of violence, so for now I'm going to have to keep this to the good old Geneva Conventions."

She glanced up as the door cracked open. Chris stood watching them, bucket and rag in one hand, the other clutching the door handle.

"When my brother sees what you've done to me, he will tear you all apart. Connor has more men than you, more boats." Reed paused as she smiled at him, unsure what had triggered the expression. Growing more and more frustrated by his inability to shake her, he growled, "And when I get loose, I'll make sure all of our men have their turn with you. Then I'll kill you myself."

She patted him on the shoulder as she rose to her feet. "Whatever you say, sport."

Approaching Chris, she took the bucket from him and gestured for him to follow.

"You just gonna let him talk to you like that?" he asked her as they stepped into the hallway.

"He's scared. People talk shit when they're scared."

He glanced back over her shoulder. "He doesn't seem scared."

"He's got a crowbar sticking out of his stomach, Chris. He knows he's not going to make it. But for now I have what I need from him. I need to go have a talk with our captain, let Madison know what's going on."

"You're just gonna leave him there?"

"He's not going anywhere."

"What if he turns?"

"He's secured pretty well. We'll take care of it if it comes to that." Catching his defeated look, she took pity on him. "You got a weapon on you?"

He looked up. "Yeah." He took the pistol from the back of his pants to show her.

"Good. Why don't you stand guard? Watch him for me. Don't talk to him. He's not the most gifted conversationalist anyway, but he'll try to get to you. Don't give him the satisfaction."

"Okay," Chris smiled, eager to excel in this new responsibility. He wouldn't let her down. She gave his shoulder a squeeze as she stepped past him to the bathroom to tip the seawater down the sink. Leaving the bucket and rag in the small space, she moved off down the hall to deliver the intel.

"You have news?" Daniel asked as she passed the Salazar's stateroom. She nodded and he rose from his seat beside Ofelia, removing his arm from around her shoulders before following after her, leaving his daughter to eye them both warily. She had heard the scream from down the hall and could only imagine what the soldier had been doing. She could at least take some comfort in knowing that her father hadn't been involved this time.

"So our friend says they have a lot of boats," Lumen announced as they stepped up onto the bridge, both approaching the radar. Beside her, Daniel scanned it, searching for a cluster out on the water.

"There," he said, tapping the screen.

"How do we know it's them?" Madison asked, as she stepped up beside them.

"Unfortunately, it's all we have to go on without him outright telling us. And I doubt he's going to do that. Connor is their leader, and that human shish kebab is his brother."

"That gives us leverage," Daniel voiced for her, catching on.

"Your favorite, cap," she chuckled, throwing Strand a look over her shoulder. He just shook his head, drawing his blanket closer around his shoulders as he sat up.

"How far is it?" he asked.

"Not far. Maybe half a day at the most."

He sighed heavily, triggering another coughing fit.

"You know how to steer this thing?" she asked Madison.

"I'm a fast learner," the mother replied, "I'll pick it up as I go." As if to prove this, she started up the boat and took the wheel, referencing the radar as she began to steer them on a new course.

"¿Qué diablos están haciendo estos idiotas ahora?"

The four travelers turned to look towards the staircase, and the source of the aggressive Spanish, as Luis climbed up towards them.

"Why are we heading north?" he asked them. "Turn it back."

"I can't do that," Madison replied.

"Señora, I made plans. Do you understand? We're going to miss our window to cross-"

"I'm not going anywhere without my family," she told him firmly.

He turned to throw Strand an exasperated look. "Are you going to tell her or should I?"

"Trust me, there's no telling her anything," Strand sighed.

"Your people are gone. There's no getting them back."

"Well aren't you a Negative Nancy," Lumen smirked. "We've got a lock on their location. We'll be in and out. No harm done to your precious schedule."

"You think this is a joke?"

"We're not abandoning our people, hombre. Your friends don't believe in being fashionably late?"

He turned back to Strand, who was watching the exchange with little enthusiasm. One headache had suddenly become two.

"¿Está hablando en serio?"

"Ignore her," Strand recommended as he lay back down on the sofa. He considered his options. "Half a day, Madison. Then we'll call ourselves even."

She gave a solemn nod of thanks and turned back to the wheel.

"Do you have money for eight more?" Luis went on as he approached their temporarily-incapacitated captain, "Because I don't. Traje nero para dos personas. Acordamos dos personas."

"Everything is negotiable. I'll get us across."

"And if he can't, I will," Lumen assured him.

"Oh, yes, your brilliant plan. You'll get us all killed is what you'll do. Estúpido ego americano."

"Yeah, yeah. Tell it to my boots, pal."

"Escúschame, puta tonta-"

"Enough!" Strand erupted, sending himself into another coughing fit. "Both of you out of here, now."

"No, wait," Madison said, "I want to speak to her. To both of you." She threw Lumen a pointed look and, curious, the soldier remained behind, but not before directing a smug smirk in Luis' direction.

"Adios."

With a final mumbled string of Spanish profanities, he retreated back down towards the main cabin.

"You shouldn't antagonize the man," Strand told her.

"Just keeping him on his toes," she replied. She turned back to their makeshift driver, wondering what it was exactly that she had to tell them.

"Where's Chris?" Madison asked first.

"He's watching the prisoner," she replied. Then, catching the woman's concerned look, went on, "He'll be fine. He's more capable than you guys give him credit for."

"Besides, if we're going to attack, we need everyone," Daniel added, "Christopher, Nick-"

"No," Madison cut him off.

"You need to stop treating them like children."

"They are children."

Over by the railing, Lumen shifted uncomfortably.

Daniel shook his head. "Not anymore. They can handle themselves out there."

"They stay behind," she repeated, her tone final.

With a look of resigned acceptance, Daniel followed Luis's example and headed towards the stairs. "I'll check on the boy. Though I doubt he's gotten himself into any trouble in the ten minutes he's been without supervision."

Madison caught his pointed look but gave no response, her lips set in a determined line. "While we're on the topic," she said, pausing for a moment before she turned to address Strand. "Don't send Nick on any more errands."

"Pardon?"

"You sent him to go get your man."

"Your son offered his assistance," Strand replied.

"I don't care."

"Without Luis, none of us gets into Baja."

"He could have died."

"We weren't in any danger," Lumen attempted to intervene, only to catch Madison's harsh gaze in return.

"I wasn't asking you," the older woman assured her. Lumen looked back at her for a moment before forcing her eyes towards the window, focusing on the rolling blue water beyond before anything could come out of her mouth that she might regret. Considering what had gone on between her and Nick during their little mission, maybe pissing off his mother wasn't in her best interest.

"I saw your son's potential within five minutes of meeting him," Strand said, drawing Madison's attention back towards him. "And he was in withdrawal. You've hovered over him for nineteen years and you still don't know what he's capable of when he's–"

"He has that look again." Her voice was distant as she cut him off, her brow furrowed against the flood of old memories. He always got the same look right before he left; right before he ran away in search of something more. Her expression grew stony once more as she turned back to the wheel, focusing on steering their course. "Don't get between me and my son."

The sound that came from her left was small but unmistakable. A tiny, condescending huff of amusement. She turned to the soldier.

"You got something to say?"

With a dark smirk, Lumen returned the stare. "You know, when Nick came in, I saw all those bruises on his face."

"Lumen," Strand warned, before erupting into another coughing fit. She held her hand up to silence him, not taking her gaze off the woman in front of her.

"At first I thought it was one of the other soldiers. Situations like that tend to bring out the unstable ones. I'd seen plenty like him before. Imagine my surprise when he tells me it was by his own mother's hand."

Madison at least had the good grace to look ashamed at that.

"So, yeah," Lumen went on, "I'm thinking maybe someone should get between you and your son."

"And you're thinking that someone should be you?"

The amused look on the older woman's face threw her a little. "I've kept him safe so far."

Strand glanced between the two of them, each as stubborn as the other. With Nick caught between them, the poor kid had no chance. He was almost interested to see how this might play out. He had seen the strange attraction brewing between the junkie and the soldier since the pens, but hadn't actually given it any real consideration should it evolve into something more real. Of course, ultimately this played out in his favor – two of his biggest assets striking up a legitimate bond; one easily manipulated, the other used to falling in line given the right amount of pressure. Still, he couldn't help but sense a ticking time bomb as the two women stared each other down.

* * *

"How you doin' out there, sunshine?"

Chris scowled at the taunt as it filtered through the small gap in the doorway. He glanced down at the deadly piece of metal in his hands and took a deep breath as he remembered Lumen's words.

 _He'll try to get to you. Don't give him the satisfaction._

"Better than you," he replied, glancing in at the bound form of their prisoner with a smirk. "It hurt?"

"Nah," Reed replied, though the strain in his voice was evident, "Just a scratch."

Chris recalled Lumen's comments on the prisoner's immediate future. His smirk darkened as he leaned back against the wall, trying his best to look more at ease than he felt. "You know you're screwed, right?"

But his words didn't seem to have any effect. Reed looked him up and down as if he were seeking out more weaknesses to exploit. "My brother's got big plans for your sister-friend. And I'm sure once he's seen what you've done to me, he'll have big plans for all of you, too. Starting with that soldier-"

"Do I need to gag you?" Chris erupted, shooting a dark glare through the doorway, but Reed only chuckled. He had seen the way the teenager looked at the older woman, the nervous glances he threw in her direction when he thought no one was watching; the look of someone desperate to be noticed.

"I get it. I mean, she's nowhere near as attractive as your pretty little sister, but can't really be picky these days, right? Or are you just trying to make your sister jealous? You know, you don't look like your sister. Come to think of it, you don't look like your old man's lady either. I'm beginning to think that you and I have got a lot in common. Both outsiders."

 _Us black sheep gotta stick together…_

"Where is your real mom?" Reed continued, catching the sadness that crept into Chris's eyes. "Yeah. It sucks. But let me tell you something, orphan to orphan. Be prepared. 'Cause when the time comes, those people out there that you call family, they will put you down like you're a stray. And not even the soldier will be able to save you. Blood's all that matters now."

Chris stared in at him radiating pure hate, tears glinting in his eyes. He hadn't even realized he'd opened the door until someone was pulling it closed in front of him. He broke from his thoughts and caught his step-brother's concerned gaze.

"Hey, you okay? You alright?" Nick asked, glancing back towards the room, wondering what had been said to upset his brother so much. Realizing he was on the verge of tears, Chris looked away.

"I'm fine."

Nick glanced down at the gun in his hands with a frown. "Want to come upstairs?"

Reed's words were still sinking in, watering that seed of doubt that had been sitting at the back of his mind since his mother's death. His father was the only family he had left now, but he was slowly slipping away from him. It wouldn't be long before he became dead weight to them. He had never been accepted as a member of the Clark family, not really. Why would that change now? He looked back up at Nick, wondering why he was so worried all of the sudden. He had never been around long enough to take an interest in him, too busy getting high and running off. He wondered if Lumen had said something to him. They'd been spending enough time together…The thought sent another spike of hate through his chest, and he caught Nick's frown deepen.

"What? What is it?"

Chris lowered his gaze as he attempted to sort through his messy thoughts and come up with some other excuse for his sour expression. "I let them on the boat," he confessed. "This is my fault."

"Look, man-"

"No, no. If I'd pulled the trigger, none of this would ever have happened. If I'd pulled the trigger, my dad and Alicia would still be on the boat and we'd be on our way to Mexico already." He stared down at the weapon in his hands as he spoke, and Nick had to fight the urge to take it away from him. He could tell he still wasn't in a good place mentally. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to have him armed, too.

"What were you gonna do? Shoot a pregnant woman? Come on, man. I wouldn't shoot a pregnant woman. I don't think any of us could have." Though he wasn't so sure. If her actions back at Catrina Island were anything to go by, he still wasn't really sure what Lumen was capable of in order to keep them safe. He was almost glad they hadn't been there to find out.

"I just want to make up for it a bit, okay?" Chris told him, sensing a hint of disapproval in the way he was regarding him.

"Okay. But just don't let any of this get inside your head, alright? Yeah?"

"Okay. Yeah, okay."

Nick looked him over one last time, unconvinced. Lumen was right – they should have talked to him more after his mom had passed. He could see the effect of that isolation eating away at him, the mistrust in the way he looked at him now. No one had been there for him, not even his own father, and the only person showing even the slightest interest in his wellbeing was a woman he had barely known for more than a week. It wasn't a crush, Nick realized, it was a kid clambering for acceptance, for some form of meaningful contact with another human being. And he knew he couldn't offer him that now; the doubt was too far reaching. With one last, forced smile, he did what he had always done, all that he could do – left his younger brother to deal with it on his own.

* * *

Lumen wasn't used to being the first to back down in a confrontation – though she was used to being the one to initiate it – but remembering what might be on the line should she push Madison too far, she had managed to make the smart decision to take her leave. After taking some time to cool off outside, the hypnotic noise of the rolling waves giving her something to focus on other than the mounting tension in her head, she stepped back into the main cabin, going over potential strategies for their intended rescue mission. She paused after sliding the door shut, deep in thought. The familiar rasp of a magazine being extracted from its weapon drew her attention to the dining table, where Nick sat with an assortment of guns laid out before him. She watched as he held up the empty handgun, unsure if he was checking for impurities in the chamber, or if he was wondering what the hell it was doing in his hand to begin with. She knew he was attempting to familiarize himself with the tools he could utilize in the new world, but with him the item looked so out of place.

"Hey," she smiled.

He looked over, glancing briefly back at the gun as he placed it down on the table.

"Luis asked me clean these. Seemed like as good a time as any to learn."

"He showed you how to take them apart?"

"Yeah, but I mean it's pretty easy."

"Almost like an idiot could do it. Or a whole platoon of idiots."

"I didn't mean it like that."

She chuckled and came to a stop beside him, her hand resting on his shoulder as she reached for one of the handguns. He pushed it away. "Hey, let me do this, okay?"

"Sorry, am I distracting you?"

He looked up at her with a grin. "Almost always."

She returned the infectious gesture and leaned down to kiss him, a soft blush christening her cheeks as they parted. She took a seat beside him, sinking back casually against the crafted timber as she picked up one of the stray bullets and rolled it between her fingertips.

"You worried about Alicia?" she asked, after a moment of comfortable silence.

"She can look after herself pretty well. I think she'll be fine. I'm more worried about Chris."

"What do you mean? He's alright. He's watching the prisoner."

Nick glanced over at her. "You mean the guy who kidnapped his dad?"

"He needed something to keep his mind busy. Not that our hostage needs a babysitter, in fact it's probably better if we leave him to dwell on his fate. Sometimes the best kind of torture comes from within."

He threw her a look for the dark comment.

"What? The guy was going to kill everyone on board and commandeer the goddamn boat. Should I be writing him a 'get well soon' card?"

"Catch more flies with honey than vinegar," he smirked, cocking the slide on the gun as he checked the chamber for residue.

"Do we have vinegar? Because I could use that."

"What _did_ you do to him?"

"We talked. Oh, what is that look for? You don't believe me?"

"I've seen your negotiation techniques before. Doesn't usually involve a lot of talking."

He watched her as she stared down at the piece of metal between her fingers, her expression grim. Sighing, he reinserted the magazine into its slot and placed the gun down on the table, reaching his hand across to catch hers. Taking the bullet, he placed it with the rest before interlacing their fingers. The action seemed to distract her a little at least. He knew that there was a lot of pressure riding on her to keep everyone safe, a role she hadn't asked for but had simply had thrust upon her because of her background. Regardless of her skills, her experience and her strength, he couldn't envy her. He could see that responsibility crushing her more and more every day.

"What's the plan?" he asked, smiling as her expression softened at his touch. She looked up at him and smiled back.

"We've got the co-ordinates. We've got a hostage to exchange. Should be pretty straightforward. We'll try contacting them when we get closer. Here's hoping they'll accept the-"

A gunshot cut through their conversation.

They froze for a moment, then Lumen was untangling her fingers from his grip. She rose from her seat, heart thumping hard in her chest, and headed for the staircase leading below deck. Nick scrambled to follow after her, pausing as he considered bringing one of the weapons on the table. Glancing each way down the hall, Lumen spotted Chris disappearing into the crew cabin, gun still in hand. She watched as Ofelia came out from her room and headed for the one at the end. Squeezing her eyes shut, Lumen swore quietly under her breath and moved off in the opposite direction. Nick had been right – it was a stupid idea to leave Chris alone with him. There went their leverage.

A thunder of footsteps above gave away the incoming shitstorm Chris was about to face. Hell, they would probably find a way to blame her too. They were getting pretty good at doing that. Ignoring the scream from down the hall as Ofelia became the first to stumble across the bloody scene, Lumen stepped into the crew quarters and fought the urge to shut the door, to shield him from the judgment that was to come. She had thought she was doing well in guiding him down the right path, teaching him the better judgment in all the difficult decisions they might face. She was beginning to think that she had seriously underestimated the kid's disposition.

"Chris?"

He was seated on the edge of one of the bottom bunks, his posture slouched, defeated, as though he had only just come to realize the ramifications of his actions. He was already the outcast, the black sheep, and whatever chance he'd had of finally integrating into the Clarke family had died with their prisoner. He finally managed to drag his gaze up to meet hers, guilt plastered all over his face. He looked back down at the weapon dangling in his hands and hung his head once more.

Lumen hesitated before taking a seat beside him, struggling to latch onto one of her many thoughts as they continued to race around her mind. She shuffled closer until their arms were touching, hoping the contact might give him at least some comfort. "What happened?" she asked.

His voice was barely a whisper as he replied, "He was gonna turn." As soon as the words left his mouth he looked up at her, testing her reaction, to see if she believed him. She gave a brief nod of understanding but it was hesitant enough for him to know she didn't approve of his decision.

"Yeah. He would have," she replied, "But you should have waited until he did. If it happened-"

" _If_ it happened? You don't believe me," he realized.

Looking over at him, her gaze hardened as she pressed on, "If it happened _on board_. Of course I do, Chris. He wasn't going to make it. I knew it, he knew it, and yeah, you knew it, too."

"Then why does it matter?"

She paused as she considered the most delicate way to tell him that he may have just ruined what little chance they might have had in securing his father's freedom. Luckily, she didn't have to.

"Did I just ruin everything?" Chris asked, eyes widening as he caught her expression. "Were we going to trade him for the others?"

"It's fine," Lumen told him in the most reassuring tone she could muster. "I'm a born improviser. We'll figure something out."

"What are we going to do?" He felt her hand on his shoulder and looked up at her.

"Do you trust me?" she asked, her expression serious.

He only thought about it for a second before giving an adamant nod. She was all he had now. There was no coming back from this. He pictured his father's face, the way he would look at him when he found out what he had done. If they got him back. Before he could stop himself, tears began to spill down his cheeks.

"I'll get us through this," Lumen told him, her arm reflexively going around his shoulders in an attempt to comfort him.

"The others…"

"It's done. You can't take it back. You deal with the consequences now, but I won't let them cast you out. It's not their place. This isn't their boat. They try anything, they'll be facing consequences of their own." She was staring ahead now, her eyes distant but determined. She thought of Madison. In her own way, she too had been trying to commandeer the Abigail from the very start, stepping on everyone's toes to get her way in the name of 'protecting her family'. These days it was hard to see the line between threats and allies, and the shadow of Madison Clark blurred that line further.

"Thanks," Chris whispered, and she gave him an appreciative squeeze. A creak sounded from over by the doorway and their heads snapped up to find Madison observing them with a hesitant expression. Lumen's arm dropped away and she waited to see what the older woman would do, what her intentions were.

"I'd like to have a talk with Chris," Madison said. Lumen stared at her for a moment, some of the anger from their previous conversation resurfacing. Madison watched as she turned back to Chris and whispered something to him. Chris gave a nod and the soldier got to her feet, moving to leave, but not before shooting Madison a meaningful look. Madison stared after her, waiting until she was out of earshot before she took a seat next to her stepson. She noticed him tense up suddenly at her presence and took his hand, giving it a squeeze as she offered a warm smile. He risked a glance in her direction, then his eyes shot to the doorway, hoping his last remaining ally would keep good on her word.


	17. Chapter 17: The Jumping Off Point

**Chapter** **Seventeen: The Jumping Off Point**

As Lumen made her way back towards the scene of the crime, she spotted Luis emerging from the room looking smug.

"The kid just blew a hole right through your trade," he said, as he came towards her. "We're going south. This is done."

"No, this isn't done. We're not just going to leave Travis and Alicia behind. Are you serious?"

"No one asked you. You're lucky Strand brought you along. If it were up to me, I'd have left you back on shore."

"I doubt that would have gone well for you."

"Oh, you think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

Luis laughed. "Tough soldier," he mocked, "Think you can threaten your way out of every situation? We go south. End of discussion."

Nick stepped out of the room just in time to see Lumen shove Luis back against the wall, her eyes burning with dark rage. "Lumen!"

Luis shoved back and drew his pistol as she came at him again, only to be stopped by Nick as he stepped between them. He shot Luis a look for the retaliation, and the man backed down, spitting a string of Spanish profanities as stalked back up the staircase.

Nick watched him go before turning back to Lumen. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What?" she asked, feigning innocence.

"What's going on?" he asked her, his concerned expression making her feel guilty. She looked away towards the room at the end of the hall. "You talked to Chris?" Nick asked, watching her with a worried frown. This latest outburst seemed to be yet another indicator of her increasing level of stress, and the ever-mounting tension on the ship couldn't be helping. They needed Lumen as level-headed as possible if the prisoner exchange was going to work, but right now he could see her mind ticking over. Without a prisoner to exchange, they might only have one real means of bringing Travis and Alicia back safely, and that was a means Lumen had proven to excel in. But that didn't mean he liked the idea of it. It had always come a little too easily for her.

Lumen nodded as she worried her bottom lip.

"You know this isn't on you," he told her. But she wasn't so sure. She had thought she had been doing Chris a favor in guiding him through the violence the new world seemed to call for. She knew that Reed would have turned eventually – there was no coming back from a wound like the one he had sustained – but she was certain that it hadn't been Chris's real motive. Whatever had been said in the time between her leaving the room and Chris taking the deadly shot, the murder had been carried out in a moment of anger. Tied to a chair, spitting taunts, Reed had been the perfect outlet for days of pent up rage, and Chris had taken up that opportunity easily. Too easily, perhaps. She could only imagine how the others would be looking at him now. Realizing she might be the only person left that he really trusted, Lumen suddenly felt a new responsibility settle on her shoulders. Distancing herself now, as much as it seemed the logical thing to do given what her mentoring had led to, would likely send him spiraling further.

"I shouldn't have left them alone together," she replied, staring distantly at the floor before giving a dismissive shrug. She continued on down the hall. "Might as well go survey the damage, find a way around this."

Nick nodded and glanced down towards the room before following after her. They paused as an ashen-faced Ofelia emerged from inside. She met their gaze and simply shook her head.

The scene was a bloody mess. Reed was still strapped to the chair, his limbs limp and his head hanging back from the force of gunshot. The bullet had grazed his cheek and ripped it open, revealing muscle tissue and gleaming rows of teeth amongst the ruined flesh. It hadn't been a good shot even at close range, and despite the circumstances Lumen found herself making a note to teach Chris how to aim better. She stared at the corpse for a moment, trying to formulate a plan. A thought struck her, triggered by a memory from her time clearing the outer LA streets with her squad. The gunshot had been enough to kill him, but his brain remained intact. Yes. This could work.

Nick watched as she gripped Reed by the hair and tilted his head to the side. She took a moment to inspect the wound, then straightened, looking more determined. "What is it?" he asked, failing to catch on. They glanced back at the doorway as Ofelia reappeared carrying a bucket of water and some rags.

"His brain wasn't injured by the bullet," Lumen explained, looking back to Nick.

"What does that mean?" Ofelia asked with a troubled expression, trying her best not to look at their dead prisoner.

"It means he'll come back."

"As one of those things?" Ofelia took an unconscious step back, as if he might do so at any moment.

"Yep," Lumen replied, with a grim smile. "This exchange could still work."

"How do you figure that?" Nick frowned. His eyes swept over Reed as he tried to see any way they could make any of this work. His wounds were grievous. They would have to be covered up entirely, and even doing something as simple as that would likely raise his brother's suspicions before the exchange was over.

"Well, we pull that crowbar out of him to begin with." Lumen paused, then stepped forward and grabbed the metal bar, ripping it out in one swift motion. Ofelia turned away just in time, and Nick winced at the unexpected action. Lumen leaned the crowbar carefully up against the wall and returned to her work-in-progress, resting her fist under her chin thoughtfully, her fingertips tinted with blood. "We'll redress him, patch him up if we can so he doesn't leak everywhere, gag him and black-bag him."

Nick's eyebrows quirked up. "That could actually work."

Ofelia risked a glance back at the body, her stomach turning. "He'll definitely come back?"

Lumen nodded. "I've seen it before. Doesn't matter how you die. Everyone comes back."

Ofelia's eyes grew distant. She wondered if her mother had turned in the military complex, or if she had been taken care of before it had come to that. "So we just wait until he turns?"

"Basically, yeah. I can wait it out if you wanna get some fresh air. You look like you could use it."

Ofelia took a deep breath to still her stomach, immediately regretting it as her senses were assaulted once more by the stench of blood and death. "No. I'm going to start cleaning up." She adjusted the bucket in her hand as she continued to stare down at Reed's vacant expression. "How long do think it'll take?"

Lumen pursed her lips. "It's hard to say, I mean it's not really an exact science. From what I've seen, it differs from person to person."

Finally tearing her eyes away, Ofelia moved towards the back wall, where most of the blood and gore had landed. Soaking one of the rags, she got to work.

"I'll help," Nick offered, receiving a grateful look in return.

Lumen took a seat on the edge of the bed, gaze trained on the glassy-eyed prisoner, and waited.

* * *

" _Madison. Is that you?"_

They caught the unfamiliar voice as they made their way up the staircase. Despite having never heard it before, Lumen knew immediately who it must have been. The brother. Connor. The shipyard was well within their sights. They had come to the right place, then.

" _Where is he? What have you done to him?"_

"Nothing yet," Madison replied, meeting Lumen's gaze to gage their current predicament. She was relieved to see both the soldier and her son were relatively at ease.

" _What about Ben and Red?"_

Nick recalled the sight of the two armed guards' heads snapping back as Luis and Lumen had taken their shots. He pinched the skin below his chin, anxiously awaiting the outcome of the negotiation. Everything was organized on their end. All they needed now was for Connor to agree to a meet-up.

"You promised us safe passage," Madison told him, "They didn't follow through on that."

Lumen had to hand it to the woman, she knew how to soften the blow.

" _Let me talk to Reed."_

"No."

" _Let me talk to him now!"_

"He's alive," she lied, "You want him? Trade. One hour. Your brother for my family."

There was a brief moment of dead air on the radio that had them on bated breath, then finally it came to life once more.

" _Fine. I'll play. One man with Reed. If he's unharmed, you'll get yours._ "

Nick put his hand up immediately and Lumen caught him by the wrist, bringing it back down. He shot her a look, and was met with an even harder look in return. Looking to his mother, he found her to be equally opposed to the idea.

"I'll go," Lumen volunteered. "Things go south, I'll get them out of there no matter what it takes."

"No," Madison replied, "It'll raise too many red flags sending you." She took up the radio once more and gave her reply. "I'll bring him. One hour."

Nick stared at his mother. She was one of the toughest people he knew, but this was too dangerous even for her. With the state Reed was in, all it would take was one tiny slip up to reveal the truth and they would kill her, and likely Travis and Alicia too. It just wasn't worth the risk.

"So what's the plan, here?" Strand asked, looking between Madison and his soldier. He was finally up and about, but Lumen could tell from the thin sheen of sweat across his forehead that he still wasn't one hundred percent, no matter how much he was trying to prove otherwise. Regardless of having Luis at his side, now was not the time to show any sign of weakness. Though Lumen was still not totally convinced as to the assistant's loyalty to their captain. She never thought she'd say it, but next to him, Strand was practically an altruist. "Christopher may have eliminated any chance you might have had of this being a smooth exchange," he continued.

"I wouldn't call a man gutted by a crowbar a smooth exchange," Lumen replied. "He came back."

Strand's expression turned incredulous as he looked over at her. "Wait, wait, what do you mean 'came back'? He turned? You're telling me I now have one of the infected stowed away on my ship?"

"He's secure," Lumen assured him, "And Daniel's getting him ready. It was the only way we could make this work, short of 'Weekend at Bernie-ing' the situation, and something tells me they wouldn't have fallen for that."

Strand shot her a look and then glanced at Madison, who had fallen into deep thought once more.

"You think you can handle an infected on board?" Lumen asked, "The zodiac isn't that big. It's gonna be real cozy."

"I can handle it," Madison told her, with her usual amount of stiff determination.

"I'll go, Mom," Nick tried again, only to be brushed off once more. He moved towards her, eyes begging her to reconsider. "Listen to me," he told her, gripping her gently by the shoulders as he held her gaze, "If something happens, it's better if it's me. Everybody else needs you." From the corner of his eye he caught Lumen's heavy frown but kept his gaze trained on his mother.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because you want to go," Madison finished, leaving it that as she went to ready the boat.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Nick asked Lumen as they reached the main cabin. She had been uncharacteristically quiet since they'd left the bridge.

"Why would you say something like that?"

"Like what?"

"'It's better if it's me'? You got some sort of suicide wish I don't know about, kid?"

"No, it's not like that." He paused and she gazed at him, waiting for a more convincing follow up. He didn't strike her as the type, but then addicts had that kind of recklessness about them. Every time they shot up it was like an unspoken death wish, willing to risk everything for that momentary high. She had wondered many times after her brother's death if he had meant it, but couldn't find any way to convince herself that this was the case. She had been so horrible to him leading up to incident – something she had regretted every day since – that the thought of her having played any part in that decision was unbearable.

"Do you remember that first morning on the boat? You told me if you dying meant the rest of us getting away alive, that you would be okay with that."

Lumen shot him a look as though she was annoyed at him for simply remembering something so relevant to the moment. "It's what I was trained to do, Nick."

"Look, there are others here that have more to offer than I do, that's all I'm saying." Realizing she had zoned out, he moved closer to her, but she turned towards the table and began readying one of the rifles that lay on it. "Hey, come on," he tried.

"You are needed here," she told him, her gaze still focused on the gun as she continued to slip the parts back together. She finally glanced back over at him as she felt his silence. "I need you here." He looked up at her with a hint of a smirk. "Who else is going to keep me and Strand from killing each other?"

He chuckled, glad to feel some of the tension between them dissipate. "More like you and Luis."

She managed a small smile. "Yeah, well, he started it."

There was a brief moment of comfortable silence between them before Nick said, "This will work, right?"

For a moment Lumen wasn't quite sure what he meant, and her thoughts went to whatever it was that was developing between them. Then, much to her own embarrassment, she realized he meant the exchange. "Sure. And if not…" She lifted the gun and loaded a bullet into the chamber with a smirk that managed to pass as cocky despite her heavy thoughts. Nick glanced out towards the deck, where his mother was busy readying the zodiac.

"She'll be okay," Lumen told him as she reached his side. "And if she gets into any trouble, I'll have her back from up on deck."

"Do you think you can make the shot from here?" he asked as he tore his gaze away from the windows. Lumen looked almost offended by the question.

"I think if I can make the shot from a speeding boat, I'll be okay."

He chuckled and turned in towards her. She knew automatically what he had in mind, but as he moved closer, she caught Madison's gaze from outside and turned away from him once more. He gave a questioning frown then realized what had caused the sudden rejection.

"She'll find out eventually," Nick reasoned.

"Yeah, but I don't think now is a great time." Besides, she was certain the woman already knew. She could read it in every suspicious look Madison threw her and Nick's way. It was the same look she had given her when she had found her talking to Chris – a look that warned her to keep her distance, lest she bring on the tough matriarch's wrath. It was one thing provoking an armed, hot-headed Latino, another to push her luck with a woman who had already proven she would do whatever it took to keep her family safe.

Daniel appeared from below deck with their snarling prisoner in tow, Ofelia a few steps behind him, ready to step in should anything go wrong – though she didn't look particularly enthusiastic about the role, her face wrought with unease.

"Is he gagged?" Lumen frowned, as the tell-tale, rasping growls continued to sound from beneath the black pillowcase.

"Yes," Daniel replied, exchanging an equally-subtle look of concern as the undead prisoner continued to pull against his grip with surprising strength. "Let's hope we get the others back before they notice."

Lumen watched with one hand on her hip, as she ran the other back through her hair, considering what else might be done to silence the prisoner. Admittedly, most of the ideas she came up with were too dark to even voice, especially with her current audience, though something told her Daniel would be more than willing to assist. They would just have to make do with what they had. She followed after the others as they continued on towards the raft and its awaiting driver.

"Jesus," Madison commented as the prisoner drew closer.

"Careful," Daniel told her, as he helped her load their cargo onto the raft.

Madison nodded, doing her best to balance the craft as it shuddered beneath the sudden added weight. "Alright. Let's get this over with," she said, settling back down in her seat.

"Last chance to opt out," Lumen said, but Madison gave a brief shake her head.

"I can do this." She paused, glancing between the soldier and her son in the way that always managed to put Lumen on edge. "Appreciate the offer, though."

A little thrown by the unexpected gratitude, Lumen made a poor job of covering her surprise, giving an awkward smile in return. "I'll be up top with a rifle," the soldier told her, "If you're in trouble, put out your left hand and I'll get you out of there."

"Hopefully it won't come to that," Madison said, with another grateful nod. She looked at her son, sensing his unease, and offered a grim, but hopeful, smile. Switching on the engine, she guided the vessel outwards without ever looking back. She was set in her determination now. She wouldn't let the doubts of the others impede on her ability to get this done.

Back on the ship, the others moved off to watch or await the outcome. Ofelia took a seat in the main cabin, her worry evident in her expression, not willing to watch the exchange unfold in case it went awry. She had seen enough violence these past few days. She was worried she was starting to become used to it. Her father watched her for a moment, but remained out on the deck, turning back to watch the raft as it sped closer to the docks.

On their way up through the bridge to the upper-most deck, Lumen grabbed a pair of binoculars and passed them to Nick. They found Luis and Strand already waiting up top, the former throwing Lumen an unpleasant look as they approached. She ignored him, readying her position. Staring down her scope, she adjusted it until she could make out the shapes on the dock clearly.

"They're already waiting," she told the others.

Nick took up his binoculars and peered through. "I can only see Travis." There was no sign of Alicia. Though if she had been the one to cause all of this, she might have been the only one they'd wanted to begin with. Maybe this wasn't going to be as quick and easy as they'd hoped.

"They're probably just waiting to make sure his brother's alright first," Lumen said, sounding a lot less confident than she had been moments earlier. Nick looked over at her, his eyes dancing to the rifle in her hands – their only real means of protecting his mother from this distance.

"She's there."

They all turned back to the docks to watch as Madison managed to drag Reed off the boat. It seemed convincing enough for the moment. He was walking on his own, at least. They had managed to plug up the hole in his torso, and so far nothing had leaked through the pillowcase. Hopefully the trip over there hadn't changed any of that. They all looked on as she climbed the steps and finally came to a stop in front of Connor and the three men he had brought with him. It seemed like a lot of extra muscle for a simple exchange.

Lumen lined up a shot. Just in case.

She watched through the scope as Madison pushed Reed towards his waiting brother. Connor caught him and made to remove the pillowcase just as Travis was allowed to stumble to his awaiting partner in return. Madison pulled Travis closer, awaiting the moment of truth. Lumen watched as the pillowcase came off, and as far as she was from the action, she felt like she could practically hear the cry of anguish as Connor realized the one family member he had left in the world had joined the ranks of the infected. Too stunned to fight back, Connor screamed once more as the thing that had once been his brother bit a chunk out of his forearm. Chaos began to erupt. Travis went for the man on Connor's left, tackling him to the ground before the man could draw his weapon. Madison looked around, desperate to find her daughter. She made for a gap beside a still-screaming Connor, who lay on the ground being devoured by his undead brother, only to find herself staring down a handgun.

"I just want my daughter, please," she attempted to reason, and for the briefest flash of a second the man appeared to take at least some pity on her. Then his head snapped sideways. Warm blood sprayed across Madison's face. She stood for a moment, mouth agape as she tried to process what had just happened, then she looked in the direction of the Abigail.

Nick lowered his binoculars to look at the woman beside him, but she paid little notice, frowning in concentration as she lined up a second shot. The last remaining lackey on the dock seemed to take the hint, abandoning his leader and making for the safety of one of the surrounding ships. With the man beneath him now unconscious, Travis got back to his feet and looked to his girlfriend. Madison continued to search frantically for her daughter. Then she saw her.

"I see Alicia!" Nick said, as he looked through the binoculars once more. Lumen followed the girl's movements through her scope. She was standing on the deck of one the largest of the anchored ships, dangerously close to the edge of the bow. Lumen spotted a young man behind her. She wondered if this was the Jack that she had mentioned, the guy who had spurred this whole ordeal. Those aboard the Abigail looked on for a moment as Madison and Travis sped towards the looming hulk of metal in the zodiac. Then everyone's breath seemed to catch as Alicia jumped, plummeting towards the freezing depths below.

"Can you see her?" Nick asked, sounding frantic.

"There!" Lumen straightened from her rifle, edging closer to Nick as together they watched Travis and Madison pull the sodden girl on board. "They've got her," Lumen smiled. Nick turned to her, grinning in relief. It was finally over and done with.

"Good," Luis said, heading back towards the bridge, "Now we can get the hell out of here."

Strand glanced between his two accomplices before following after him.

"Well, that went better than I expected," Lumen said, lowering her rifle and flicking on the safety, before leaning back against the railing. She ran a hand back through her hair and looked over at Nick as he watched the approaching craft. "Not that I had any doubts in your mother's abilities, of course."

In wake of his relief, he managed a smile. Silence hung between them for a moment, filled with nothing but the lapping sounds of water against the hull and the occasional, muffled voices from the cabin below. Tearing his eyes away from his incoming family, he caught Lumen's troubled expression. His hand automatically came up to rest on her shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

She stared out at the water for a moment before finally meeting his gaze. "I don't know how Travis is going to react once he finds out what Chris did."

"That's not on you," he reminded her once more.

"Someone needs to stick up for the kid."

Nick gave no reply, turning back to the water to watch the zodiac as it drew closer.

"On the bright side, it looks like we won't be stuck on this boat for much longer," Lumen went on, "Luis has such a goddamn hard-on for this flotilla. I swear I've never seen a Mexican so eager for a run in with the border patrol."

Nick threw her a look. "You're telling me you're not looking forward to being on dry land again?"

"Just as I was getting my sea legs."

She had to admit, as much as spending a few days on a luxury yacht would have sounded like a dream holiday a couple of months ago, being cramped up with a bunch of strangers during a national crisis wasn't proving to be much of a break. But the land was in their sights now. If she didn't know any better, she would have thought after all this trouble, after everything they had been through that they might finally catch a break.

The trouble was, she knew better.

* * *

 **A/N: There I go, appearing out of the blue again. Another update, and one step closer to the really good stuff that I've got in store. Just a question for future chapters – do you think it would be a good idea to post an overview of the last chapter at the start of a new chapter, just as a refresher? Especially given the amount of time that usually passes between updates. I sometimes find that even I have to go back and reread a chapter to remember what happened. Just an idea.**

 **Also, I'm aware of the events in the latest episodes, but please leave out the spoilers if you post a review! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll be sure to make a start on the next one. Mexico, here we come.**


	18. Chapter 18:Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

**Chapter Eighteen: Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood**

It was warm up on the top deck. The metal hull and surrounding rails, having soaked up the morning rays, now radiated a comfortable heat. Lumen leaned forward against the metal, feeling her tired body lured towards the source of the warmth, but remained sharp as she pretended not to listen in on the conversation below. Chris had become aware of her presence not long after stepping outside with his father and had been fighting the urge to look up ever since. Considering the topic of conversation, he didn't really want to draw attention to her. It was enough just knowing that she was there.

Madison had filled Travis in on what had happened sometime between the rescue and their arrival back on the boat. Chris could tell despite the joyful reunion that something was off. Though his father hadn't hesitated to pull him into a hug, he had caught something in his eye; in the stiff way he smiled. Something had changed. He wasn't looking at him like he used to.

"Tell me what happened," Travis asked him now.

Chris finally met his gaze. "I didn't do anything wrong. Why are they so mad at me?"

Travis sighed and leaned forward with a solemn expression. "They're saying that guy you shot wasn't sick." He stared at his son, waiting – perhaps hoping – for some kind of denial.

Chris's brow twisted at the suggestion. What the hell was he implying? That he had taken some sick joy in killing the guy? He considered that for a moment. He didn't exactly feel bad about it, either. But like Lumen had said to him, the guy was a goner either way. What did it matter how he went out?

"Who said that? Who said he wasn't sick? Madison?"

"She's just worried about you."

He could have laughed. Madison had never given a shit about him. The fact that she had blatantly lied to his face about believing him said enough.

"What are you doing?"

Lumen turned to find Nick standing atop the stairwell behind her, and floundered for the least suspicious reply.

"Nothin'. Just, you know, enjoying the calm before the shitstorm," she told him.

He nodded as if he didn't believe her in the least, and walked over to the railing. Sneaking a quick peek over the side, he turned back to give her a look.

"It's not nice to eavesdrop," he teased, leaning in close.

"It's not nice to judge, either."

He grinned and strolled over to the captain's chair, collapsing into it, appearing completely at ease.

"How's your sister?" Lumen asked.

He squinted an eye closed against the sun as he lit up a cigarette and looked over at her, gesturing for her to join him. "She seems okay, given everything that happened."

Lumen nodded as she stepped closer, ears pricked for any snippet of Travis and Chris's conversation she might still catch. Nick gestured once more to her to move closer, but she narrowed her eyes and leaned back against the railing in front of him.

"I draw the line at lap-sitting, Nick. If anything, you'd be the one sitting on mine," she joked dryly.

"I'm not opposed to that," he replied with a grin that triggered her own.

Hearing movement on the deck below, Lumen looked down to see Strand. Her grin fell away at the sight of his troubled face. He glanced around, then up, catching sight of the very two people he was after.

"We've got company," he alerted them.

Lumen looked around and caught sight of the incoming speedboat.

"The armed kind?" she asked.

Strand shot her a look that said 'what do you think?'

"And this would be the shitstorm," she muttered, heading back over to the railing on the other side as Nick stood up and toed out his cigarette. "Hey!" she called down to the others below. Travis and Chris looked up. "We've got company."

"Can it wait?" Travis replied, looking annoyed at the disturbance to what he had believed was a private conversation.

"Sure, I'll just tell the armed strangers to give you a minute."

Travis gave her a look, not appreciative of the condescending tone, but made to move back towards the main cabin. Chris, meanwhile, went to the side of the boat for a glimpse of the potential threat.

"Chris, come on."

He looked back at his father. He had been hoping for a little more time away from the others, at least until things settled down between them. If they ever did. The thought of being forced in a room with them made him sick to the stomach.

Following Nick down the staircase, Lumen joined him in the wheelhouse. She eyed Luis as he checked his weapons.

"Get them down below," Strand instructed, nudging her as she turned to move off. She turned back and looked at the handgun he was holding out to her. "Then I want you back up here."

"I thought they only knew about two."

"They do. And they won't know otherwise," he said pointedly. She gave a nod, following on, then turned to do what she was asked.

Travis and Chris's troubled reappearance had alerted the others to the incoming threat and already had them on their feet by the time she arrived.

"What's going on?" Alicia asked, eyes wide with worry. Madison placed a hand on her shoulder, ready to launch into protective mother-mode. She had only just gotten her family back together – she wouldn't let them be taken away from her again.

"You guys need to get down below," Lumen told them.

"What about you?" Nick frowned.

"I'll be up here earning my keep," she replied, trying to ignore Daniel's customary look of suspicion. "Same as always." She offered Nick her best attempt at a reassuring smile, then gestured for them to get moving. Once they were all safe and accounted for in the engine room, she looked around. They stared back, each with varying degrees of apprehension and suspicion. "No matter what you hear, wait until one of us comes back to get you, okay?"

"And if no one comes back?" Alicia asked, receiving a look from her brother and significantly dampening the mood. They stared at the soldier, waiting for an answer.

"Let's just try to stay positive, shall we?"

Lumen made to move off towards the upper deck, but Nick caught her by the hand. She turned back, eyes darting over the faces of the others before landing back on his, taking on a slightly panicked expression over the unexpected, open display of affection. The only eyes not on them were Daniel – who either saw no relevancy in the little gesture, or if he did, simply didn't care – and Chris, whose 'indifferent' stare was burning a hole into the side of the boat.

"Be careful, okay?" Nick told her, oblivious.

Completely thrown, she replied, "Yeah. Sure. You know me." She offered another smile, this one even more forced than the last, then left without giving herself the chance to read the reaction of the others.

* * *

She hadn't known much about the intricacies of Luis's whole plan, but Lumen was certain that crossing the border should have involved them going to said border to meet with the guard. That two armed men were now boarding the Abigail unexpectedly did not bode well for the potential outcomes. From her hidden position she could listen in on whatever was being said. The only problem was, she didn't speak a lick of Spanish, aside from what little she remembered from one year of high school basics, and the few profanities she had picked up from former squadmate, Ramirez. Strand could see her from where he stood, but that was largely because he had made certain of her position before meeting their guests. The guards wouldn't see her unless they were searching the boat, and they hoped it wouldn't come to that. Glancing down at the pistol in her hand, she continued to listen in.

The conversation seemed friendly at first, with Luis greeting the men – one of whom he seemed to be familiar with – but from the change in tone, became business very quickly. She glanced out at Strand, but with a very subtle gesture of his hand he assured her everything was okay; it was all going according to plan. For now. That didn't last long. Lumen froze as she heard suspicion creep into the tone of one of the men, quickly spreading to the tone of the other. Whatever they had said, Strand quickly denied it, but one of the men continued to push. As she heard the voices start to raise in volume, she readied herself. Luis's tone was more demanding, contrasting greatly with Strand's apparent attempts to keep the situation calm and under control. Lumen sniffed. And Luis thought she was the problem here.

Out of the corner of her eye she caught an unfamiliar figure moving towards the main cabin door and turned her attention towards them. Blood splattered against the window as Luis took the man out. She supposed he had assumed Strand had the other man under control, but struck with adrenalin and panic, Strand's shots missed. Lumen darted out from her hiding spot, putting herself between the captain and the gunman as she practically threw him towards the safety of the cabin interior. Luis was busy giving them some covering fire, but the gunman had already retreated to cover of his own. The three of them paused, ears pricked for the sound of footsteps. A creak from above gave the guard away. Lumen turned to look back at Strand and nodded for him to stay back. Renewed gunfire startled them.

Strand's eyes widened as he took a few steps back. "Shit."

Luis lay on the deck, spluttering as he clutched the bullet wound in his abdomen.

"Just stay down," Lumen told their captain.

"Don't have to tell me twice," he replied, watching his lover's assistant slowly bleed to death. Somehow all he could think about was the stain it was going to leave in the wood.

Pressed against the outer wall, Lumen listened carefully for more creaks. She couldn't let him reach the engine room. She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, psyching herself up, then made for the nearest staircase. She crouched down as she neared the top, and risked a quick look over the edge, narrowly avoiding the bullet that ricocheted off the railing behind her. Giving herself a moment to work up her nerve, she made a break for it, slamming back against the nearest cover, narrowly avoiding another couple of rounds. She glanced around at the holes they left in the wall. Strand wasn't going to be happy.

Making sure she had a round loaded into the chamber, she took a deep breath and swung around – coming face-to-face with her attacker. Taking advantage of his surprise and somehow managing to overcome her own, she attempted to wrestle the weapon from his hands, but when that seemed to fail, she improvised. Mustering every bit of strength she had, she plowed into him, sending him over the edge of the railing. He managed to catch hold of her shirt for the briefest of moments, but one well-placed punch she had him tumbling to the deck below. Fighting to catch her breath as overcame the brief moment of fear, she peered over the side and dodged another shot.

"You've got to be kidding me!" she growled. Storming down the staircase, she found the man momentarily distracted by what looked to be a shattered ankle. She kicked the gun from his hand just as he made to raise it once more. He grabbed her ankle in a poor attempt to knock her down as he found himself staring down the chamber of her own gun, but his effort was futile. With one quick shot, the grip relaxed.

Lumen looked down at the blood that had spattered across her shirt, the warm liquid disappearing quickly into the dark fabric. She blew out a heavy sigh, her heart still racing, adrenaline still pumping. She looked out at the surrounding ocean for any sign of incoming reinforcements. Confident that they were safe – at least for now – she moved back towards the main cabin.

* * *

With the engines shut down and no real source of adequate ventilation, it had quickly grown warm in the engine room. Everyone waited silently, listening out for any hint of what was going on above. Seated on the steps by the door, a pistol clutched in his hand, Daniel translated what little he could make out. Chris leaned back against one of the pipes that ran across the top of the roof, trying his best not to think about the brief touch he had witnessed between his step-brother and the soldier. He glanced over at Nick, who had one arm wrapped around himself, the other hand resting under his chin as he listened with a concerned expression. Chris didn't see what she could possibly see in him. He was an addict. He was selfish. He didn't care about anyone but himself, and Chris knew the moment Nick got bored, he would leave them all behind – even Lumen. He knew that from experience.

Nick looked up, catching his step-brother's cold gaze. His brow furrowed for a second, then they all jumped as gunshots sounded from above. His eyes widened as he looked up and turned towards the door. Daniel was now on his feet, his hand resting on the door handle as he waited to see how this would play out. More gunshots sounded, soon followed by a heavy thud. After one final gunshot, all was silent. Then heavy footsteps thudded towards their position. Daniel racked the slide on his gun, readying himself. Then the door was yanked open.

Lumen stood, breathless, splattered with blood. "Hey, guys," she panted, "How's everything down here?"

* * *

"What happened?" Madison asked, as they made their way back up to the main cabin.

Strand, meeting them halfway, replied, "Someone said 'asshole' in Spanish."

Lumen looked between the two of them. She was sure she had missed something there.

"I'm getting us out of here," Strand assured them, as he double-timed the stairs up to the wheelhouse.

"Where's Luis?" Nick asked Lumen, as he came up beside her. The look she gave him in answer said enough. He followed her gaze as she nodded out to the decking, where the assistant continued to bleed out. His movements had slowed now, his hand no longer clutching at his bleeding abdomen. "We can't just leave him out there."

Lumen was about to reply 'He's not going to make it anyway', when she saw Chris looking her way. Listening in, he glanced out towards the dying man. Lumen held back. She couldn't continue to push that mentality around him; not after everything that had happened. Of course, that didn't make it any less true. She had seen Luis's wounds – just like Reed, he wasn't coming back from this.

"What are we gonna do about him?" the teen asked, looking as if he already had a pretty good idea. Lumen shook her head at him to cool it, but just as he was about to get defensive, loud bangs sounded in the distance. Bullets began ripping through the boat, throwing debris in all directions.

"Down! Down!" Lumen called, pushing Chris and the others down towards the nearest cover. She looked around, ducking as bullets whistled overhead, and spotted Daniel crouched and moving towards the door. Following suit, she gestured for the others to stay where they were – though they hadn't exactly planned on stepping into the middle of a firefight anyway. She risked a quick glance out through the window and spotted a large boat off in the distance. Someone must have been keeping an eye on their little meeting. She could make a run for her rifle, but she knew they didn't have much time. If Strand didn't get them out of there fast, there was every chance they might end up like the refugees they had once denied help. It definitely put things into a new perspective.

She looked around for Daniel and spotted him just as he shoved a knife through the temple of one of the dead guards. She had to hand it to him – the man was efficient under pressure.

"There's another one around the corner," she told him. He nodded, but made for Luis. Lumen watched for moment, part of her hesitant to let him take out the man who had given her so much grief. She could hear him still moaning and muttering; completely conscious and probably just as aware of how close he was to death. Just as she was about to let it happen, Ofelia appeared from inside the cabin.

"Don't!" she cried to her father, taking hold of him by the wrist. He looked up at her with a hardened expression, though it was remarkably softer than usual under her gaze.

"Get back inside!" he ordered.

Still hesitant to interfere, Lumen caught Nick moving towards the pair. She sighed. Why doesn't everyone just come out and play dodge the bullet?

"Lumen! Can you help move him?" Nick called over to her.

"Huh?" she replied, with more than a little skepticism. But Nick's pleading expression got the better of her. She really did need to do something about that. As she reached his side, she caught Daniel flick something small overboard. "What the heck was that?"

"Don't worry about it," he answered, the very response that told her she probably should worry about it. She frowned but turned back to the task at hand. The gunshots had eased off, with Strand bailing at such a fast pace that they were already almost clear of danger. The man had his moments.

"What are we thinking here, Nick?" she asked, as if his ideas might somehow deter her from following Daniel's example. Luis didn't have long. It seemed pointless to drag it out.

"We can get him inside. Make him comfortable at least." They gazed at each other for a moment, Lumen looking unimpressed at the prospect of dragging the half-dead assistant down into the ships interior. She could only imagine what Strand would have to say about it. She was certain that as far as he was concerned, Luis was just like her – useful, but disposable.

"You're taking him inside?" Daniel asked, looking and sounding as skeptical as Lumen felt.

"He needs help," Ofelia said, her eyes pleading him to show the man some mercy.

Lumen sighed. "Alright, Nick, help me get him up."

The looks on the faces of the others as they brought him through were nothing but contradictory. Lumen could see it in their faces; the question. Why were they bringing him inside? He was probably going to turn. The same reasoning Chris had used before shooting Reed – only they didn't have the guts to take care of this themselves, passing fear off as humanity.

"Why are you bringing him in here?" Chris asked.

Travis shot him a look. "Chris!"

"He's going to die!" Chris argued back, exasperated, receiving horrified looks from Madison and Alicia at the tactless outburst.

"Don't listen to him, Luis," Lumen joked darkly, as she adjusted her grip on his increasingly weakening form, "It's just a flesh wound."

Madison and Alicia both glanced at Chris and quickly looked away, faces wrought with judgement; though Madison managed to pass hers off as concern. Alicia had overheard her mother explaining what had happened to their hostage on the boat ride back to the Abigail. She had never known Chris to be violent. A little moody, maybe, but he was a teenager – she had her moments, too. But she had never killed a person. She wondered if his mother's death had done that to him; if that, on top of everything else that was going on around them, had caused him to snap. He definitely wasn't the same boy she had broken into the house with. Things had felt so carefree then, even with the outside world crumbling away outside the chain-link fences.

They decided on the engine room for Luis, despite Nick's protests that he be left somewhere a little more comfortable for his last moments alive. Not that he actually said those exact words, of course. Unlike his step-brother, Nick was a little more subtle. Looking over at him as they got the dying man situated, Lumen found he looked genuinely upset over the whole situation. He crouched down in front of Luis as Lumen looked around for something to bind the man's hands to one of the pipes. If they weren't going to do this now, they might as well be safe about it – although having him break loose and wreak havoc might help Chris's case a little. Lumen watched as Nick took a seat. She rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, hands on hips as she glanced around the room.

"What are we doin', Nicky?" she asked after a few moments.

"Someone should be with him."

She scratched lightly at her eyebrow, her expression weary, then made up her mind. With a sigh, she took a seat beside him. They sat in silence for a while, watching Luis' breathing begin to slow. His eyes, still open, occasionally moved to look at them, but Lumen wasn't sure if he could make much sense of what he was seeing at this point.

"About what happened back there," she began, her voice lowered in the midst of the quiet, "A little warning next time, alright?"

"What are you talking about?"

He stared at her for a moment. She was looking very uncomfortable, like she hadn't even wanted to bring it up in the first place. A thought struck him.

"What, in here?" He smirked. "All I said was 'be safe'. What's the big deal?" He watched the corner of her mouth twist down. "What are you worried about?"

"There's enough going on at the moment without having to worry about…" She gestured with her hand as if that might finish the sentence off for her.

"Why do you care what they think?"

"I don't think they see me as a particularly good influence."

He snorted. "If anything, I'm the bad influence. I'm the junkie, remember."

She chuckled and looked over at him. They gazed at each other for a moment, small smiles on their faces, then leaned in for a kiss. Without Madison's protective gaze bearing down on them, Lumen felt herself relax into his touch. He hand came up to brush a loose strand of hair from her face, then moved down to cup her cheek. A soft wheeze brought them back into the room. As they broke apart, they looked over at their third wheel, almost forgetting for a moment that he was there. He stared back with glassy eyes, chest no longer rising. Their expressions fell, and for a moment things felt very morbid.

"Well," Lumen said, breaking the awkward silence, "I guess that's that."

* * *

It was a lot hotter than it had been back in the Abigail housing development, though Lumen supposed Mexico was renowned for its warmer climate. The deeper they ventured inland, the drier the heat seemed to become. It wasn't long before they were all sweating from the exertion, all the backpacks and luggage not doing them any favors as they trudged towards their destination. Cramped quarters or not, they were already starting to miss that fresh ocean breeze.

"How much further, Strand?" Alicia asked, voicing everyone's foremost thought.

"We're close now," came their captain's reply, though Lumen was suspicious of how much truth there was to that. He had already told them on the boat that it wasn't too far from the shore. She could barely make out the ocean from here. With Daniel travelling towards the front of the group beside Ofelia, and as the only other person carrying firearms, Lumen had opted to take the rearguard, keeping an eye out for any threats: undead or otherwise. Ahead of her, Chris dropped down to tie his shoelace, assuring his father that he would catch up. Travis saw through the ruse easily, but didn't know what else to say without potentially upsetting him again. He paused, the conflict evident in his eyes. Avoiding any more outbursts, he glanced in Lumen's direction then turned back to the others, continuing onwards.

"Ah, the old 'tying the shoelace' trick, huh?" Lumen said as she caught up to the teen. He straightened and brushed the dirt from his knee. "What's up?"

"I just needed some space," he told her.

"Oh, well, in that case." She continued on without him, coming to a halt a few feet away to turn back with a stupid smirk. He gave a tired roll of the eyes at her immature behavior and moved to catch up to her.

"I don't see any infected," he commented, as they continued down the dirt road.

Lumen surveyed the landscape, adjusting her grip on her rifle. She had her military-issued rifle slung across her back – though out of ammunition, it was a souvenir she simply couldn't leave behind – as well as her sidearm and knife. The rifle she carried in her hands was one of the ones Luis had brought along. She had collected what was left of the ammunition in his rifle and sidearm and stocked up inside her rucksack, feeling relatively confident she had enough should they run into any trouble. In any case, she was sure if they ran into any ill-intentioned survivors, her over-prepared appearance might make them think twice.

"I think the settlements are pretty spread apart out here. With any luck we won't have any more run ins." Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Chris glance down at her sidearm. "Don't even think about it."

He managed a weary snort in reply.

"So what did your dad have to say?"

"You mean you didn't hear all of it?" He threw a side-glance in her direction.

She feigned offense as she reached back for her bottle of water. "I don't know what you're talking about. It's not like I was on the upper deck listening in to your conversation or something." She took a swig of the warm water then held the bottle out to him. He hesitated a moment before accepting it.

"None of them want to be around me. I can see it."

Lumen glanced back in the direction they had come from, catching the tiniest glimpse of the ocean. "Do you want to be around them?" She looked back at Chris. The boy eyed her as he drank.

"Why does it matter?" He passed the bottle back and looked up towards where his father was. Every so often Travis would turn back to check on him, worry evident in his face.

"Maybe it's something that comes with age," Lumen replied. She took another quick sip before putting it away. "But if you don't want to be around them either, then why _does_ it matter?"

"It's not like I've got a choice anymore," Chris said.

"Sure you do. It's just that these days it's safer to travel in numbers. And these guys are your family, Chris. Shit happens with family." She paused as old thoughts resurfaced. He looked over at her, waiting for her to continue. "Give it time. This will blow over and they'll be worrying about bigger things than some dead psychopath."

He felt better knowing that he had her on his side. Reed had beaten them, threatened to kill them multiple times – hell, he had held a gun to his head – none of them had actually felt that loss. He was sure that if they hadn't needed him for the hostage trade off, one of them would have finished him off a lot sooner.

"It's Madison," he admitted, his voice lowered despite the others being too far ahead to hear. "She's been telling them she's worried about me. Like something's wrong with me."

"I'm sure she is worried about you."

He was shaking his head as he stared darkly in the woman's direction.

"She's a counsellor or something, isn't she?"

"She doesn't give a shit about me. She never has. I was just something that came with my father. Something she had to accept."

Lumen glanced over at him, feeling the anger rolling off of him. "Alicia gives a shit about you. And I know Nick does, too. You've got people who have your back, man. And if all else fails, you've got me. I know that might not be the most compelling argument, but…"

Some of his anger seemed to fall away and she caught him almost smiling, as if relieved to hear those words. She glanced up ahead and found Nick falling behind the rest of the group as he came to a halt.

"Everything okay?" he called back to them.

"Yeah, we're good," Lumen replied, then looked back to Chris. "See?" she said to him.

"I don't think it's me he's worried about," he replied bitterly. Before she had a chance to reply, he adjusted the strap of his pack and moved off ahead of her. Nick tried talking to him as he walked past, but Chris blew him off completely, leaving him with the same expression as Lumen.

"Teenagers, huh?" she said, as she reached his side. Nick smiled.

"He okay?"

She shook her head. "No, not really."

"Maybe I should talk to him."

"I don't think it's going to help. Not unless you've killed someone before as well. He needs someone he can relate…" She trailed off as she caught Nick's expression. She raised her eyebrows. "You have?"

He nodded, avoiding her gaze as he looked at the buildings that were coming into view. They were reaching a settlement now, with an odd combination of ramshackle houses and modern-looking developments; possible remnants of more Abigail home experience projects.

"Before this began."

He could feel her staring and finally looked over to find her frowning in thought.

"Who was it?" she asked.

"My dealer."

Her eyebrows shot up once more. "Do the others know about that?"

"Just my mom and Travis. He was the first one we saw come back. He was going to…He drove me out to one of the canals. I think he thought I was gonna tell the cops once he heard about the accident. You know, how I ended up in the hospital." She nodded as he went on, "He pulled a gun on me and I tried to get it off him. It went off."

"Self-defense."

He shook his head as is trying to shake the memory from his mind. "I didn't mean to."

Catching on to his sudden change in mood, she put an arm around his shoulders and gave him a squeeze, a public display of affection that surprised him – though he appreciated it anyway.

"Careful," he joked, "Someone might see."

She shoved him away playfully and he grinned.

"You know, black's a good color on you," she commented.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. It suits you."

"Looks good on you, too. Looks better off, though."

The comment caught her off guard and she felt herself blush as she snorted at his bullshit flirting. Glancing over at him, she found him grinning at her response.

"Do you think we'll get our own rooms?" he asked.

"Why?" she replied, sounding more than a little suspicious at the timing of the question.

"You know why."

She chuckled. She couldn't say she hadn't had thoughts about the same thing ever since the shower. "I just hope that it's a big house."

* * *

They were nearing a rise when the church first came into view. The area was a lot more built up, with buildings standing closer together and a lot more places for threats to be lurking. So it was not an ideal place to begin shouting your lover's name. But Strand took no heed to this.

"Thomas! Thomas!"

Towards the back of the group, Lumen froze and adjusted the grip on her rifle.

"What the hell?" Nick said from beside her. They took off at a jog to catch up to the others and spotted Strand desperately searching a truck that was parked to the left of the building. A pile of dead bodies lay not far from the church's entrance, all of them clearly infected that somebody, or – from the sheer amount of bodies, not to mention the array of discarded weapons near them – a group of somebodies, had taken out.

"Strand!" Lumen called to him, glancing at the dead as she passed, her voice lowered compared to his frantic shouting. "Hey! What's going on?"

He completely ignored her, continuing his hurried search of the surrounding area. Before she could stop him, he took off inside the building, weaponless. She had never seen him look so emotional. It was like watching a different man.

"Shit. Wait here, okay?" she told Nick, nodding towards the others.

"Lumen," he started.

Frowning, she turned back and followed his gaze to the approaching crowd of infected.

"Shit." She raised her weapon but paused. She didn't know how many others were in the area, and for all she knew the sound could bring down an entire horde. Muttering curses under her breath, she laid the rifle down on the church steps and yanked out her knife. Behind her, Chris shouted to get the attention of the others before scrambling for the pile of discarded weapons. He kicked some towards the others before taking up a small bat and following after Lumen. She was taking down her second infected when the others joined in. It was obvious from the way that the infected were dressed that these were the congregation, though what had managed to turn them all at the same time, in the same area, remained a mystery. Lumen looked them over as she continued to take them down, but couldn't see any bite wounds. They had all turned some other way.

Finding herself now clear of the infected, she turned to check on the others. Nick was staring down a little girl. She was dressed in a pretty pink dress, her hair tied back with a ribbon, and her teeth gnashing for his flesh. He backed off, axe clutched in his hand but unwilling to strike the blow. Just as Lumen was about to come to his aid, she heard someone shout Chris's name. Thinking he was in trouble, she spun around.

Madison lay on the ground struggling under the weight of an infected man, his teeth inches away from her face. Chris stood a couple of feet away, looking on. Alicia appeared from behind him and ran to her mother's aid, stabbing the man in the back of the head and dragging him off her. Chris just continued to stare.

"Come on!" Strand's voice broke the stalemate as he started up the nearby truck. Now clear of the small horde, the others ran towards it. Lumen turned back to Nick. The little girl lay on the ground in front of where he was now sitting, her head cleaved almost in half. He clutched his weapon, unable to drag his gaze away from the tragic sight.

"Nick?" Completely lost in his grief, he gave no indication that he'd heard her. "Nicky?" She crouched down beside him, taking him gently by the shoulder to make sure he was okay. When she spotted the tears forming in his eyes, she pulled him closer until his forehead was resting against her neck. "Hey, it's okay." She risked a glance at the tiny body, then shut her eyes as she tried to block out all the memories it conjured up.

Madison watched them from the passenger's side door, noticing the way the soldier spoke to her son, the gentle way she touched him. He was nodding to whatever it was Lumen was saying, and it wasn't long before she had him on his feet. Madison watched the other woman's fingers trail from their grip on his shoulder down to his hand, where she loosened his grip on the axe and tossed it away. Free of the violent object, he seemed to break from his trance and finally looked over at the others. Madison looked away. When she had first taken notice of her son's interest in the soldier, she hadn't known what to make of it. He had never been the kind of kid to have a teenage crush. No, with Nick it was always a fixation – and that had carried through to all aspects of his life. And despite the questionable age difference, this one was keeping him clean. No matter what kind of person Lumen managed to come across as, Madison couldn't deny that she had Nick's best interests at heart; she could give her that at least. So as she watched the pair approach the pickup, she remained silent, knowing the minute that changed, she could make things very different.


End file.
